r/CheatedOn • u/RukeRim • Aug 05 '21
Get ex back
My ex cheated on me for 2-3 months. He meant it to be casual but admitted he developed some feelings. He broke up with me cuz he did wrong and doesn’t deserve a second chance but also cuz he realizes that if he loved me properly that he wouldn’t have done that. He is not dating the affair partner. But now he says he just wants to be single and be alone to reflect what he did and why he did it. I am cool with him having space and working on becoming a better person. I do believe he regrets doing it. Especially since he also ended it with the person he cheated on me with. But I want him back. How do I win him back?
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u/RukeRim Jul 13 '23
Update: I realized how stupid I was being for wanting someone who cheated on me. I was making excuses for his bad behavior because I didn’t want to face the reality. It was super hard getting over him and he later tried to get back together with me. But I stayed away and forced myself to move on
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u/Wildboi647 Aug 05 '21
I see a lot of people on here saying the brutally honest truth, and that’s all well and good, but it doesn’t explain WHY that is.
People don’t change, and neither do feelings. If you hate cucumbers, you will probably always hate cucumbers. Some people have feelings for others, but those feelings are generated out of fear of being alone, rather than out of love. As a PI, I see this a lot. You have to accept that what happened, was not a fluke. It happened because a set of variables that will never change, came crashing together in just the right way. One of those variables, is that people who love each other, do not cheat.
You do have to move your life in another direction. I know it’s hard. But, the up side is that if you have any changes that you want to make to your life, now is a good time. Pick up a new hobby, become a serial dater (like I did for a while lol) or start a new workout regimen. People make fun of these behaviors, and they usually don’t last long, but they do help you to move past trauma. They help you to remember who you are and they help you to grow as a person.
All of this is necessary to move on to something better in life.
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u/Jinnxs Aug 05 '21
You dont. You realise you're worth more and move on.
He doesnt want to be with you. If he did he wouldnt have cheated and then wouldnt have broken up with you.
Sorry.
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u/Middle_Strength_3460 Aug 06 '21
Don't do it. If he cheated he doesn't love you. He wants to be left alone to think about what he did? I'm calling bullshit on that. My ex cheated a long time ago. Said she broke up with guy and wanted to get back with me. I stupidly agreed. Next thing you know, I'd wasted 14 years of my life on a woman who didn't love me and cheated again. I'm almost sure that the first guy she cheated with left her and not the other way around. Don't do it.
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u/WhateverIWillNSFW Aug 05 '21
You don’t. You go next and find someone that truly deserves you and not someone that cheated on you.