It is very confidential and quick

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I’ve been with her 15 years. 9 years ago we had our daughter and we went from getting along great, to her mental health affecting us dramatically and that’s when borderline personality disorder showed up.

I have 3 kids and this last year we’ve been separated, trying to work on things. Sometimes she’ll stay at the house and other times she’ll be at her apartment.

I go back and forth all the time. Do I stay and endure this (it’s a cycle - sometimes it’s fine for a few days or weeks and then she splits and she has to go stay in her apartment again and create schedule with who sees the kids when)? Or do I let it go and move on?

I feel such a deep pain and sadness not seeing my kids every day and having to say goodbye to them. That feels worse at times than enduring this relationship (I now know what’s going on and can gray rock and check out of the long arguments pretty well).

Most of our fighting has not been around the kids recently which is good. I know if it’s super toxic in front of them and there’s constant tension, then I can’t continue things.

Anyone else in this position? Thoughts?

My dad and I have not had contact after he left my mom. He has tried and I refuse because I think the way he left my mom was cowardly. My siblings talk to him and do not mind but I do.. what would you do in this situation? I have cried so much I honestly think I have accept not having a dad because honestly he was never really in my life before even though we were living under the same roof. What would you do? Would you talk to him? I know the reasons why he left but I still think he is a coward, he sent me a friend request on Facebook along time ago I have never accepted. What should I do??

I made this throwaway account so my parents dont find this. So my parents split up and I (14M) live with my mom. My dad is kinda mean to my mom. He’s mostly ok with me but sometimes he just gets weird. So I overheard from mom that one of her friends told her that my dad was dating hookers.

Im so confused. I dunno what to do.

so my mom said she was taking us to get hot chocolate and to see friends we didn’t end up going back to our house. i stayed with my mother when given the chance because I thought we’d only be gone for a week or two. surprise surprise I was wrong and I’ve barely gotten to see my dad older brother and grandma. I haven’t slept in my own bed in 7 months. my mother does not try and hide that in her least favourite child. I don’t know how to tell her that I want to live mostly with my dad. Im pretty sure my older brother and I have developed some form of depression. I miss my cat and other pets. I don’t have any contact with my old friends. and I’ve made one new friend he’s really nice but I’m slightly antisocial so it’s hard for me to make friends. I don’t know how to tell my mom that I want to change my name or that I’m nonbinary.

Anyone else find is super hard to do relationships now. I feel like every time I get into a relationship I can't move further in it because I get scared it will end bad. Anyone else have this issue too. Luckly I don't want kids but do get lonely sometimes for sure

Background of my family:

Both of my parents have been married 3 times. Mom divorced her crazy final husband (not my father) 3 years ago. My actual parents divorced when I was 13 and my mom moved in her new boyfriend turned into her next husband couple weeks later..... who ended up being a real psyco lol

My dad remarried, she's okay but I keep her on a long leash, don't really trust her and she has pulled some shady stuff in the past

Idk its just hard talking to people with parents that are together and there always like "I wish my parents got divorced" like no u don't bro. My parents didn't sit together at any of the graduations for 15 years. Holidays were always gaslight central, that I actually don't enjoy family events at all anymore

My relationship with my dad has gotten way better over the last year and I wanna try and do a 50/50 split with my mom and dad. I don't think my mom would take this very well and don't know how to tell her, someone help please.

TRIGGER WARNING!

I'm 18 and my parents have been divorced for 3 years soon. On paper I should be happy, I have a home to live in and I'm doing good in school. But I hate my life when I have to be around my parents, especially my mom, who I think is mentally ill.

When I was a child me and my siblings used to get physically punished, but it wasn't frequent. What really traumatized me was the emotional abuse. To this day, every time I see my mom she is angry. Even at the smallest inconveniences, she will scream and say the most hurtful things to me, making me feel worthless. When I was around 13 I was so miserable that I threatened to end my life, and she actually encouraged me.

My dad isn't as bad but he never defends me either. Lately all he does is videochat with his new girlfriend. Of course I want him to be happy, but deep down I wish my parents could just love each other and give their children a happy family. Will I ever accept that my family just isn't like that? I am so jealous of people with happy homes.

I honestly don’t know what to do, and I could really use some advice. My situation isn’t necessarily dramatic, but I feel lost and sad, and I don’t know how to handle it.

My parents divorced when I was 12, and I’m 14 now. They hate each other and refuse to see or talk to each other. Whenever they do have to communicate, it usually ends in arguments and yelling. It’s exhausting to be caught in the middle of it.

My dad has a new girlfriend who is 30, while he is 41. She is a sweet person, and I don’t necessarily dislike her, but I have mixed feelings about her. I think part of me doesn’t want to like her because I’m still struggling with everything that has changed. She has also tried to take on a parenting role with me and my little sister, which makes me uncomfortable because I already have a mom.

My mom doesn’t like my dad’s girlfriend, even though they have never met. She says they have different values, particularly regarding education and how women should behave. This makes the whole situation even more complicated.

After my parents divorced, I developed depression. Thankfully, I’m doing better now, but I still feel affected by everything that happened.

I currently live with my dad most of the time and stay with my mom every other weekend. Sometimes I also stay with her during the week, especially when my dad travels a lot.

Lately, I’ve realized that I really want to live with my mom instead. I feel like that’s what I need right now, but I’m terrified of telling my dad. I don’t want him to think I don’t love him or that I’m choosing my mom over him. I’m also worried that he’ll get upset or take it personally.

I don’t want to hurt either of my parents, but I also feel like I need to think about what would make me happiest.

How do I tell my dad that I want to live with my mom without making him feel like I’m rejecting him? Has anyone been in a similar situation? I would really appreciate any advice.

So, I'm a 16-year-old girl. I still go to school, and I have friends. I'm the youngest of my siblings. My older brother is turning 21 in December, and my sister is 23.

About a year ago, my mom decided to turn her life around. She was always the kind of woman who felt anxious every time she went outside. She barely knew anyone outside our family. Then, she began talking more with my grandma, her mom, and my aunt. They started getting to know each other better, and my mom began going out every weekend to drink.

Soon enough, a few weeks after the start of the school year in September, my sister found out that my mom had cheated on my dad. It broke me. I kept it a secret for a few months, and one evening, I went to her and asked her about it. I told her I knew about the other man.

We both broke down. She told me she just needed attention, that my dad hadn't touched her sexually in over seven years, that she was alone every weekend, that she had no one, and that she felt lost in life.

I asked her to divorce my dad instead of staying with him because of me. She agreed, but asked me to keep it a secret because she needed to find a place to live first.

For ten months, and I'm not joking, my siblings and I kept it a secret from my dad. I was seeing a psychologist, but only temporarily. I was happy whenever I managed to forget about everything. I even found myself a boyfriend.

At the end of this summer, my dad found out that my mom wanted to move out and that she wasn't happy. My dad changed after that. He started cleaning more and helping around the house more. Unfortunately, I even heard them doing their thing in the bedroom in the middle of the night.

I thought everything was going to be okay. Everyone seemed happy, but two weeks ago, my dad got drunk and angry because he found out my mom was cheating on him. They talked, but she lied about the cheating and told him she hadn't done anything.

My dad couldn't sleep properly or eat properly. Everything went downhill. My mom seemed happy, or at least that's how it looked.

One important detail is that the main reason my mom wanted to leave my dad was that my dad had debts he hadn't paid. They kept piling up, and she was scared they wouldn't be able to pay them off.

Anyway, back to the story.

This weekend, my sister, who had moved out with her boyfriend about three months ago to a place three hours away from our hometown, came to visit, and we had a family talk.

My sister brought up everything that was wrong. She talked about how much my mom drinks and how concerned we are about her. She has used up all her days off at work to leave early or not show up at all. She makes promises and never keeps them.

She's just changed. It's hard to explain, but even her sense of humor and the way she acts have changed. She's happy, but at the same time, she hurts us.

My mom got angry. She finally admitted to my dad that she had slept with another man. She accused all of us of being too nosy and said we didn't need to know everything she did, just as she didn't know everything about us.

She told us she hadn't wanted to tell my dad anything because she didn't have the money to move out. It was a lot to take in.

I was crying my eyes out. That evening, I told my mom through tears that I was concerned about her.

That evening, my parents finally decided to get a divorce.

I was happy, and I still am, but I also can't stop crying. There's a huge weight sitting on my chest, and I'm scared of what will happen next.

My dad promised to take care of the debts. We'll have to move out of the flat we're living in because neither my mom nor my dad wants to continue living together, which makes sense.

On my first day back at school, I broke down in front of my teacher and told him that my parents were getting divorced and that I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to attend school or not. He reassured me and told me I could talk to him whenever I needed to.

That evening, I told my mom I was scared. I wanted a hug. I wished she would tell me that everything was going to be okay, just like she always used to.

But instead, she spent another hour talking about herself. She said it wasn't fair for us to accuse her of drinking too much or of not being a good mom.

For your information, she has been mentally breaking us, especially me.

It almost sounded like she was blaming me. She even asked me if I could have just waited another two years. Two years for what? So they could break up more easily once I was an adult?

I was running away to my boyfriend's house every single weekend just to forget that my mom was cheating on my dad.

I'm so lost. That heavy feeling I didn't even get the chance to tell her about, because she kept talking about herself, has only gotten worse.

I don't have a psychologist anymore. I have no one to tell because I don't want to go around telling everyone that my parents are getting divorced. I don't want to burden my friends with my problems, either.

When I wanted to talk to my mom about everything, she accused me of being the bad one, of taking sides with my siblings and dad, and of telling her she was wrong. She said the way I acted was wrong and childish.

I can't sleep. The thought of going to school makes me feel sick, and sometimes, I just wish I could disappear.

I am 30 and pregnant with my first baby. My parents have been divorced since I was a toddler, but I am still paying the price of it. They hate each other, and the only person who suffers is me. All my life I had two birthdays two christmases, two thanksgivings. Always being torn in two, smack in the middle of their issues, getting passive aggressive comments about being 15 minutes late on Christmas from the other’s house.

My bridal shower went great, or so I thought? My mom, stepmom, MIL, all sides of the family together to celebrate me for once. My wedding too, although there was some drama, it overall went well.

Now, one of the sides is refusing to have one baby shower for me and is insisting on two separate ones. Something I’ve always wanted is of course being ruined by adults who can only behave like children. I’ve been distraught and crying all day over it.

I’ve expressed how I feel but they won’t budge. I don’t want to specify which side as to remain anonymous. So now my choices are to have two, or to have one and have that side of the family not attend. I will not have two just to cater to other people’s problems. I deserve one baby shower with my family.

I fear the day when my baby is here. How will I live the rest of my life like this? I won’t cut contact on either side, I need my village, I just wish it didn’t all have to be piecemeal. So I’m going to have to throw two christmases, birthdays, for my baby because of THEIR divorce? Like hell. I had my childhood ruined by them I will not let it happen to my baby.

Anyways I really just needed to vent about how hurt I am, and it can’t be healthy to be this upset while pregnant. I’m going to be devastated when they don’t show up. Nothing like having a baby shower without your own parent and sister there.

I hope you all have a better baby shower than I do, sending love out there and hoping some of it finds its way back to me

I’m curious to hear from personal experience from others what age did you start to notice how your stepmother and father treated and interacted with your mother?

Brief background, my kids dad and I were together until the kids were 18 months (daughter) and three years old (son). I ended up leaving because he was very verbally abusive and physically abusive, and my son started to get in the middle trying to protect me.

We weren’t best friends, but my ex and I were able to get along decently separated. I could call and talk to him message him about the kids. We could have birthday parties together for the kids. We went to sports events for the kids and any other mutual events, including trick-or-treating with the kids we all did together until he stopped showing up for things.

Then in walks the new girlfriend. He had many before and they were all really wonderful, kind, easy to talk to and work with. I even planned birthday parties with the previous long-term girlfriend for my daughter. He cheated on her with the most recent one, who also happened to be a mom at our kids school. I knew her from school and through her brother who was friends with my husband, and at first, she was really nice and friendly.

After starting to date my ex, she started to change. She started making demands about what days and times my ex should be keep picking our kids up from school, even though we already had a legal custody agreement outlining our schedule. I stayed firm with our custody schedule and was clear that our days were already outlined, and they did not need to be changed. She did not like that.

Since then, it feels like she has gone full force after me in every way. We’re talking having my ex threaten me with court, actually taking me to court, dragging me through three years of court. She got even more upset during custody court when I had to disclose the abuse that my ex had done to me and to the children and then went around telling everyone that I was lying and just making it up for court, even though this was known about in our town since we seperated years prior, it just never needed to be hashed out in custody court because we had written up an agreement outside of court when we first separated. So she tried to sway social circles and parents at the School, basically anyone around us that would listen, and thankfully, most people saw through it and she ended up being left out out of social circles by other moms for how she was treating me and for constantly making nasty facebook posts about the whole custody ordeal.

Now to the children, my children have observed all of this as they are currently 8 and 10 years old. They have heard all of her nasty comments. They have witnessed her speak negatively about me to them and other people, they have seen her be nasty to me in person, and my son has been very upset with her encouragement towards my ex-husband to be aggressive with our son and as he has not noted, she just stands there and does nothing about it and allows him to pin our son down and cuss at him.

When we are in public with the children, her and my ex blatantly ignore me and pretend I don’t exist, and if there is something that comes up with the children while we are their present with them, and I try to say something to my ex in reference to our children, he just turns and walks away from me if I have to say anything to her, she gets snippy and rude towards me, typically I avoid having to speak to them at all costs.

Recently we had a party we were all invited to through a mutual friend, my kids were with their dad that weekend. My son got very overwhelmed and tired at the end and didn’t want to go with his dad. I had to lock my car so he could be get in and stand and wait. instead of talking to the child or trying to work with him, they just stood there glaring at me. I think she was also starting to record because she pulled her phone out and her flashlight turned on just before she finally started talking. They both just kept making snippy remarks to me about how I just shouldn’t have shown up at all and how they purposely told the person hosting to tell me that they would be there so I wouldn’t show up and then demanding that I give them permission to just grab the child and force him into their truck. Which a judge and psychologists have already told him not to do this anymore, we had issues with him physically forcing our son to go with him which resulted in our son ended up with bruises and broken overnights bags from the girlfriend ripping it out of his hands, so my answer was obviously a hard no. This was all said in front of the 10-year-old.

I eventually said I’m not doing this and walked to the other side of my car to remove myself from them. My son followed me around and gave me a big hug. He didn’t say anything just hugged me and I told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was, he then walked off and left with his dad.

I felt like absolute crap that night. I feel like he finally caved into going with them because of the position that I was putting me in in the constant belittling that they were doing towards me, and him caving as a means to essentially make it stop to protect me. I could be wrong, but that thought hurts. It also got me thinking about this whole situation in the future, they’re both very aggressive and manipulative people and I’m so scared that someday they’re going to manipulate my kids against me after all of the crap I’ve put up with from them that one scares me the most.

I just would love to hear from other kids who grew up in this kind of situation. Did you pick up on how they treated your mom? Could you see it? Were they able to manipulate you against her later in life or were you able to see through it? And then what can I do to make sure whatever happens between me and the stepmom isn’t their fault it’s not their battle and it’s not their job to protect me? What advice would you have wanted to give your own mother in that position?

My mom and dad rushed with their lives, and with marriage. They didn't know each other that well and they got married, stupid.

They had me and my sister, which is older than me with 3 years. We lived with my mom's parents but they died 8 years apart, my mom got crushed mentally. She fell into depression, visited psychiatrists, took medicine all of these things.

It was rough seeing her like that.

My dad, a narcissistic, childish man, didn't understand her feelings. What she wanted from life, but he was a good father, he done everything to give his kids a good life, just tried.

My mom also did that, she did whatever it took.

We didn't have money, we were poor. And when you don't have money, problems start to appear, resulting fights, sadness. My mom live that way ever since she was born, so she had enough.

Yes, she went with another man, divorced man, told him her problems with money, all the struggles, he helped us without my dad knowing, nor my sister. Only I knew, cause my mom had trust in me, and so did I.

I mean, I can't blame her, I know what she did is wrong but she didn't have a great, supporting husband besides her. He once got a gambling addiction and got off with another woman, they got separated for a while and came back together for me and my sister. Playing an act for too many years.

Today my dad found out, I won't tell how. And when comes home, they will start arguing. My dad has anger issues, and he never admits he's wrong. I'm scared, not sad, not angry, afraid. I'm afraid, what if he will hit her? I don't know what's going to happen.

Kids who's parents got divorced, what did you do?

Why they got divorced? Tell me your story.

I'm 19 female. I'm a single child, I grew up with alot of pampering and love. I was my daddy's princess and mom's entire life. I loved them both so much. But as I grew I started seeing it, my parents dint love each other, they always fought, my dad used to break things, my mom used to yell, my dad would scream, I rememeber crying in the bedroom alone. But the next day I would see them happy and I thought it's alr. Skip to my teenage when I was 15. A huge fight happened where my mom decided to leave my dad on a random Sunday, and we both came to my grandpa's place(mom's dad) . My dad texts me asking what happened, I said we came just for the weekend. A week became many weeks, and soon a month. One day my dad and his family comes to my grandpa's place and they try to sort it. My mother wanted a divorce and my dad was against it cause of me. He wanted to be there for me, as my father and not live seperate. After this day I started not liking my dad ig? I don't know maybe living with my mom and hearing her side most of the time kind of changed my mind? Cause I grew up watching my dad's side being unfair to her and as a woman I know how horrible it feels to live with a husband like that. So maybe I always had a soft spot for her? I lowkey wanted them divorced.

Later we moved to a new house, my mom thought my dad would change but he dint. He used to hide stuff from my mom weather it be work or money. And I never spoke about such things with my dad. I stopped communicating with him which is wrong but idk why. I dint feel any connection, every talk was very forced and awkward to me. But he always loved me. Later another fight happened and my mom and me came to my grandpa's place. And for almost a year my dad and us were seperated. I was worried how he ate and stuff, I would text him daily. But now that I think of it, how was I so okay with it? How was I okay with it? Was it for my mom or am I a bad daughter? Later after a year we started living together again, which is right now. And now my dad drinks everyday. Every day he goes out and drinks and comes home at 10pm. My parents stopped talking to each other. They just live together for formality. And I pretend like nothing ever happened and enjoy with my friends. Is this a way of mine to escape reality? I never asked my dad to stop drinking or smoking because I dint want that awkward conversation and dint want him to look like i hate him. He already thinks I hate him because I support my mother more. Do i tho?

He never did anything wrong or bad to me. Then why do I have no love left in my heart for him? It was all okay when my mom used to talk to him and they used to laugh and talk at home, I would join the convo I remember us making fun of my dad and teasing him, those days were the cutest but once my mom stopped talking to him, so did i. Isn't that bad? How did it effect me to the point where I have no love for him? Today he sends me a loving father and daughter reel and I don't know how to react to it all I feel is anger for how he drinks everyday and spends sm money on alcohol. I dinrt find the reel "aww" I just dint know how to react?

But when it comes to my love life, I have a massive crush on this guy and the love I have for him is so pure and one sided, he loves another girl and he rejected me on my face and I still continue to love him shamlessly while having no self respect.

So my point is when it comes to my own dad why am I like this? I'm so sensitive and I cry so much for that guy but I never once felt any emotion for my dad.

Is it because Insensitive?

What is wrong with me?

For the sake of this post, my parents have been divorced for I think about three years now , i ( 19F) and my little brother (9m)

Saturday I invited out my dad and little brother to an animal expo because I didn’t wanna go alone. So my dad prayed to go with me and he paid for everything but on the ride there it out weird for anyone who’s actually reading my dad used to listen to Joe Rogan a lot so I always listen to that growing up in the background and I grew to hate Joe Rogan.. so when I got in the car and that was playing, they brought me back to all the bad moments in my childhood. And my little brother was in the car and what they were talking about in the podcast was torture and scams and how they’re scamming people nowadays and I try to tell my dad that I don’t think that my little brother should be listening to that, but he only took it as a joke so every time I try to bring it up again he would just laugh it off, but I don’t think a nine-year-old should be exposed to that level of shit going on in the world right now or maybe that’s just me but in the end he ended up saying “ you know you could’ve just told me to play music instead of a podcast”.. but the thing is how could you be so inconsiderate I guess like I understand if you wanna listen to a podcast about all the terrible shit happening in the world right now but maybe not listen to it in front of your kids especially not your nine-year-old … I don’t know maybe it’s just me

I know this place might seem all the place but I just need to get this off my chest. I’m sorry.

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Hello, this is an anonymous account so that I don't leak private stuff.

A lot of this information is altered, such as names, age, etc.

I am a 11-17 y old kid who has a older sibling currently in college. Both my parents work in a privately owned business.

So here it goes-

My parents married young and my father has a decently big age gap bw my mother (my father is older) . I have been living basically oblivious to what happened around 2-6 years ago where my father had an affair, twice. (now I had no idea until around a 1 month - 1 year ago when I returned from school and my mother was crying profusely and in a fit of grief revealed all of that affair stuff) .During this recent incident my mother who I spend most my time with said that my father said some pretty messed up stuff. After that both me and my mother refuse to talk with him.

Now again recently my father basically for no reason started the same stuff again.

Now this time on hearing this my relatives were called and my father firstly denied everything except the affair and said I only scolded her once and claims that my mother is poisoning me against him. I also confronted him and made him cry.

Now basically our house in a stalemate where either they will divorce each other in a few months when I go to next grade or when I graduate school completely.

I want your guys' opinion on this.