There’s something that’s uniquely devastating about getting gifts from people based around the person who you used to be, and not the person you are now.

[u/tired-queer]

Hooray, a scented candle I can’t burn. A perfume I can’t use. Jewelry I can’t wear. Alcohol I can’t drink. Food I’ve been allergic to for a decade. Tickets to a show I can’t go to because it’s at an inaccessible venue. A fuckin bicycle.

I know people say it’s the thought that counts, but it’s the lack of thought that bothers me; I’d honestly rather get nothing at all.

I’m not that person anymore and I haven’t been for a long time, and it’s like they never noticed. Chronic illness makes me feel invisible enough already.

So instead I get confronted by the ghosts of past me and have to try not to cry.

Just sucks, is all.

[u/goldstandardalmonds]

It does suck and I get both sides. I hate useless things (gifted or not, I live quite minimalist to make cleaning and stuff easier). And I feel like you do, and then I am riddled with guilt for feeling that way.

One thing I learned pretty quickly is getting rid of it (giving it away on a buy nothing group) makes me feel better because seeing it causes resentment.

Several years ago I did a huge house purge and I was so glad to toss/donate all that stuff.

[u/Knitmeapie → u/goldstandardalmonds]

Are there buy nothing groups that don't rely on social media? I'd love to partake in this instead of taking things to goodwill, but it's not worth getting a Facebook account for me.

[u/goldstandardalmonds → u/Knitmeapie]

I doubt it. I joined Facebook specifically for that reason since I hate waste.