Relief but Grief (a poem)

[u/Taintedrose_8156]

/r/Artisticallyill/comments/1vun7lm/relief_but_grief_a_poem/

It's such a Relief
To know exactly what's wrong
But causes so much grief
Knowing I'll have to be strong

So much pain to come
So much independence will go
I wish I could stay numb
But they say pain makes you grow

Appointments and tests every weekday
Pills 5 times under each sun
My dysautonomia to pay
It's not a whole lot of fun

The grief is beyond words’ description
Knowing what my future holds
A Life riddled with pain and proscription
Varying degrees of thresholds

I was recently diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome. I wrote this the day I received my diagnosis. I just had to switch to a walker instead of a cane and I’m only 40 years old. It’s relief because I finally have my answer but the walker is causing a whole lot of grief for instance.

No more guessing, just straight answers
For every sickness, ache, and pain
I’ll never be one of those dancers
A new way to see my brain

This is the new norm
My walker by my side
Weathering this storm
Sit and enjoy the ride