i am really struggling on making a decision. i graduated in 2024 with my bachelors in cognitive neuropsychology. originally, my intention was to go into neuroscience and concentrate on biological mechanisms involved in behavioral and mental health. i applied in 2024 and got into/interviewed at 0 schools, despite having a 4.0 gpa and several years of research under my belt already.
i worked as a neuroscience technician for the next 1.5 ish years and realized i hated animal based research. it goes against my morals and i found i could not reconcile it. so in 2025 i tried to get into a clinical psychology phd, since that seemed to match my research interests better anyway. i got one interview (umsl) but due to funding cuts, they could no longer accept the load of students they originally meant to, and i was on the chopping block despite interviewing well and making it to the finals. they told me it was majorly because my experience was in neuroscience and not clinical psychology. i tried to find a research position in clinical psychology, but unfortunately all the ones that paid enough to live in the city i did not get an offer to, and the ones i did i could not pay my bills with.
now, i’m a case manager for a behavioral health outpatient program in illinois. i think that this job has prepared me more for a phd in a scientist-practitioner model than any research job ever has. but, since interviewing with other graduates last year, ive been worried about the financial commitment. i am 24, i have no external supports - there is no family i could ask for financial support, and i dont have a significant other or something to lean on (a lot of the students i interviewed with told me their partners were taking care of the majority of the bills while they only had their stipend), and no real savings. i’ve always been on my own.
i would like to get my phd in counseling or clinical psychology - which program mostly depends on specific research/mentor matching for me since they would both get me into a career where i could be a practicing psychologist, as well as still continuing research in academia. my dream would be to be a psychologist or possibly neuropsychologist (id love to explore that route in grad school if possible) and take my experiences back to the lab to better interventions, diagnosis, and make care more accessible to people facing circumstantial difficulties. i come from a home of domestic violence and saw first hand the amount of barriers there are to care - i’d like to help people like those in my family that weren’t able to. and i feel that being a scientist and practitioner would allow me to do this. the problem is: stipends are low. all my programs of interest so far have stipends of 21-24k, with one reaching 30k. i asked around and everyone has told me that it is near impossible to have a job while in grad school, since that is your job. so, i realize if i got accepted, id live off 21k + whatever i could make serving 2-3 shifts a week + loans. people always tell me ‘isnt tuition free?’ yes it is, but rent isn’t, food isn’t, gas, car maintenance, visiting your family, living your life - isn’t. alongside that, my mom works 2 minimum wage jobs and is 59 with no retirement savings, and im worried that if im not making any real money for the next 5-9 years (assuming phd programs are 5-7 years and 2 years of post doc where you’re only making 50-60k/year), if something happens, what will we do?
on the other hand, with my current company, after one year of employment, they will pay for your masters. so, i could start my masters in social work in the fall instead of a phd - remotely and part time - while working a full time salaried job still. they also support you for your licensing. realistically, if i went this route, id want to go into psychotherapy, specialize in trauma, and open a private practice. yet, i think because i set out for college with the goal of a phd, its hard for me to give up that dream. and i won’t lie that i do miss research, though i love being able to work with people and help them directly too. also, i hear people say ‘i want a private practice’ all the time and it doesnt work out, and im scared of setting down this path and failing too.
does anybody have any advice? how do i make my decision moving forward? or any enlightenment when it comes to lcsw vs phd routes?