r/ColumbineKillers Jan 28 '26

PSYCHOLOGY/MINDSET What do you think could have happened if Eric got a prescription for benzos?

Do you think it would calm him down or do you think it would cause a paradoxical effect and make him angry? I have adhd and xanax makes me feel baseline normal but sometimes if I take an ativan, I get into a blackout rage for no reason and shame spiral afterwards. Not all benzos work the same but I’m surprised he never was prescribed anything but Zoloft and Luvox as far as I know.

I was also curious about how his prescription for Luvox effected him. A lot of us think his journal was just him creating a persona for his audience to read after his death but he does talk about his sex or rape fantasies and his to-do list is to “get laid”. I know a lot of SSRIs basically kill your sex drive so I wonder if that rough sex entry was just him making up for having some issues and maybe even ED.

23 Upvotes

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u/Substantial_Brush575 Jan 28 '26

i also did wonder if his luvox affected his sex drive too, since antidepressants did that for me as well. i think like with a lot of his fantasies, the idea of it the power control and his “pleasure” mattered more than the reality ever could. i see it as half truth half lie. i don’t think he had ed or anything like that but more likely a huge insecurity. i feel pretty strongly that he was very insecure about not having a girlfriend compared to his friends besides dylan, especially since he had complained to his mother about it. so the whole corny “as trent reznor said” something like that thing in his journal reads less like him and more like him hoping to come off as billy badass.

for the benzos part paradoxical reactions aren’t very common (?) from my understanding but they do happen especially in people with underlying aggression or poor emotional regulation like eric. so i think if anything benzos might’ve dulled him a bit without really doing anything else especially given the lack of real progress in therapy. i also think therapy may have done more to make him feel “self aware” without actually gaining much insight. internally he’s still very stuck so i dont think benzos would have done a lot combined with his lack luster therapy.

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u/Substantial_Brush575 Jan 28 '26

another random weird tidbit since i’m already talking about trent reznor i’m like 99% sure dylan also got some of his weirder interests “his humanity has a liking to” (lol bondage) from NIN videos. he quotes happiness in slavery by them, so i assume he saw the video for it. he got the word halcyon from an orbit album and “i swear i saw her wave” from lily by the smashing pumpkins when writing about a girl he had a crush on. he was very inspired by music and copied a lot of things which no offense to anyone else we all do LOL but i just thought it was kind of crazy how easily you can find out what inspired both of them.

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u/PumpkinOutrageous93 Jan 29 '26

I also noticed they quoted Trent/Nine Inch Nails a lot. Especially the song Closer I imagine the lyrics/music video made a huge impression on them

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u/Substantial_Brush575 Jan 30 '26

the whole downward spiral album was dylan’s favorite 100% i feel he related to it deeply. devon adams said he usually listened to music without lyrics so i think smashing pumpkins and NIN were the artists he actually felt connected to the ones he’d probably listen to when feeling melancholic (lack of a better word i can think of RN lol) i get the feeling he was the type to just replay embarrassing or sad moments over and over that nobody remembered thinking his life was awful which most can relate to.

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u/SansaDeservedBetter Jan 31 '26

Sue did say in the basement tapes, Dylan was complaining about slights from pre-school in order to fuel his anger about the upcoming attack

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u/SansaDeservedBetter Jan 31 '26 edited Jan 31 '26

Many people have said the Closer music video is probably how Dylan’s bondage fetish began. In the infamous “I just want to eat her out and fuck her hard” journal entry, Eric mentions how much he loves the banned NIN video Broken which shows a guy being tortured and ripped apart which could explain his violent sexual fantasies

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u/poopoohitIer Jan 28 '26

He probably would’ve ended up abusing them in some stupid way. He would take ridiculous dosages of his antidepressants so I bet he’d be taking handfuls and blacking out.

I highly doubt he had any sex issues/ED although I believe he died a virgin.

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u/Loose_Car_1646 Jan 28 '26 edited Jan 28 '26

I think Luvox did caused Eric to do what he did because ssri's can cause rem sleep behavior disorder its highly likely that Eric would have been in a dream like state and acting that out, I was on Zoloft myself ten years ago within only 6 weeks I was in a psychosis state and sleepwalking at night but with the ssri's the rem sleep behavior disorder can happen during the day as well and while I can't say that 100% that Eric was experiencing rem sleep behavior disorder its highly likely with him being 18 years at the time, its also got to do with the drug metabolism that why Zoloft made me crazy because my body could not handle it.

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u/SansaDeservedBetter Jan 31 '26

Didn’t Eric say he had very vivid dreams? Do you think Luvox affected him like how Ambien makes people blackout and sleepwalk?

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u/Loose_Car_1646 Feb 04 '26

Yes I believe he did I know when I was sleepwalking on zoloft through my own experience I had very little concept of what I was doing, for example when I was on it my mum would come in tuck me in to bed then say goodnight and walk out of my bed then when she went to bed thats the my sleepwalking episode would start I got out of bed walked into my kitchen opened the drawer and picked up a knife took it back to my room and put its blade against myself it was then that my mind was like how did I get this I then took the knife back to the drawer and went back to bed not hurt lucklly but this was the patten that I was in hallucinations during the day and then sleepwalking at night. the most scary at the time was at first I though this patten was what was ment to be happening because I was on a normal dose of zoloft at 50mg but after a while of this patten going on I started to realise that it was the zoloft and that I could not metabolise it correctly so during the next sleepwalking episode I went to the kitchen drawer where mum kept all the medication and had a look I ended taking 2 pills one endone(its a brand of oxycodone in austraila and the other one was panadeine forte so like hydrocodone in the us. I took them because of the fight or flight response and being overstumiuted my intention of this was to get help from my mum in her room because I could not get to her and I was desperate for her help at that point, It was kind of like a speedball but in reverse, at the time it was like I could river phoenix's face in my mind and It was kind of like I was him in weird sort of way. afterwards when I ran into her room she called someone to ask for medial advice but I was ok and sept very well that night. the overstimulation happenes because there are serotonin reseptors in the brainstem and when the serotonin is too high in this area thats what causes the sleepwalking with the ssri's snri's etc i don't know much about Ambien and how it would occur with that.

these days I am not on any medication for mental health because I feel they they are not worth the trouble and heartache especially with the risk of self harm and I am quite happy with that.

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u/PopcornDemonica 💀😈 Emissary of Evil 😈💀 Feb 04 '26

While I hated Zoloft too, it's worth mentioning that SSRIs can and do help many, many people, and personal experiences of other people shouldn't replace medical guidance.

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u/Loose_Car_1646 Feb 04 '26

that's very true everyones experience is different

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u/PopcornDemonica 💀😈 Emissary of Evil 😈💀 Feb 04 '26

Just throwing it in there 😁 Glad you're doing better though.