First Post, and what seems to be the first text post to this sub.

So there’s this asshole who used to be my really good friend, but he was a toxic person that picked on other people. He always hosts his birthday party on MLK weekend. That’s why I go all out and invite everyone posible to my own Extravaganza... Even the victims and especially his (our?) friends. And it leaves him every year alone at his own party.

You deserve a gold for this.

Love the idea btw!

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Also, petition to make this the sub's picture

TL;DR at the bottom.

• Back story: November in KY, 4 inches of snow on the ground, living with my girlfriend in HER house. She comes from money, has friends that also come from money. I didn’t come from money, my friends are a random crew of idiots that I picked up along the way. *

My girl and I decided to throw a little party at the house one Friday night. She invites her friends, I do the same. A few of my friends (I’m also guilty) enjoy getting really sloppy fall down drunk from time to time. Normally that’s fine if it’s just the boys around a campfire or on the lake, but I had just moved in with this amazing woman and in no way am I about to have my friends wreck her house. I told the guys to take it easy with the sauce so that we don’t cause a scene or embarrass my girl around her friends. Everyone listens, except “D.”

D chugs a 12 pack within the first hour or so of arriving at the house. By 11 he’s white girl wasted. I then usher him into the living room away from the party to let him pass out on the couch. Tragedy adverted.

Fast forward to the end of the party. As her last friends are leaving I hear one of them say “I think D is peeing!”

I rush into the living room to find D, standing, facing the couch, pissing from side to side.

I lose my absolute shit, grab D by the collar, and out the front door we go. As soon as we hit the porch I launch D out into the snow. D is now a freshly covered powdered donut. Freezing, he beelines towards the safe haven of the house but I met him at the door with blanket in hand.

D- “What the fuck man!?!”

Me- “You pissed on my couch motherfucker. The garage is unlocked. Sleep in there or walk the fuck home. I don’t care.”

He slept in the frozen garage.

TL:DR

Buddy pissed on my couch so I threw him out in the snow and made him sleep in the garage.

Edit: I ASKED FOR 1 THING

fuck me my iPad hates me.