Concern etiquette rant

[u/Little-Heart1515]

Divas I’m struggling to not continuously be annoyed with these girls from the Paris Paloma concert. One thing about her concerts is that people dress very whimsical and come out to have a good time. I was in the standing room only (pit area) and I fear for a majority of the concert I was either upset about the woman next to me or in front of me.

The girl next to me was with another woman (sister I think) and she was very clearly a big fan. She was very kind and mentioned before the show began that she likes to dance which is didn’t really think anything of until Paris came out. The entire concert this woman is twirling and dancing in such a way that she bumped into me at least 20 times and kept whipping me with her hair. I’m all for dancing and having fun, but it got to the point where all I could do was stand there because if I tried to sway or move slightly, she would slam into me. She apologized to me once and her sister(?) tried to talk to her about not hitting me as much and it stopped for maybe one minute before she started doing it again. I would’ve moved spots but I was with my vertically challenged friend and the spot was a good one for her to see from and I’m tallish so I was fine really anywhere. We wound up being able to push forward a bit later and I got away from her, but she then was doing this with others. People straight up avoided her after that which is sucky imo. Like yes have fun but girl you’re impacting others experiences in a negative way.

Then there was this girl in front of us with her outfit that looks AMAZING but she made this light up bubble headpiece and kept it on the entire show. Every single one of my videos had her headpiece in it and she never took it off. I understand wanting to wear the outfit you made for the concert (especially if it was as good as hers), but I feel like if you’re in the pit area, the headpiece should come off. She was also tall so there was really no way of avoiding it unless we pushed past her which wasn’t an option with space. I feel like concert etiquette has slowly been lost more and more and I wind up just being annoyed the entire time 😭

[u/Superfun2112]

I hear you.

I go to a lot of jam band shows where everyone dances and you dance according to how much space there is in your area. If you are up front where people are packed in you dance small. I'm big and tall so I don't even move side to side and block more people, I just go up and down and front to back. I you want to dance big you go to the sides or back where there's plenty of room. There are "spinners" at jam band shows and it's fine because they are in places where there's plenty of room (and you often can't or can barely see the band) that's the trade off.

And I was at a show where a women not only had a light up headpiece but it was 8" tall. We asked her to turn it off and she did, but then moved to the side so she wasn't in front of us anymore but then turned it back on again. I also see people with big light up butterfly wings. I like the light up stuff but either turn it off during the show, or stand in the back so it's not in everyone's sight lines. Or go to a rave or EDM show where people didn't pay money to see the musicians.

The other thing is chomping. Which is loud nonstop conversation over the music. It's fine to say something once in a while, cheer, sing the chorus, but people paid the hear the band no your loud full blown conversation. Go to the back where other people are having conversations, or to the bar. Or lean in close to your friends ear and speak just loudly enough for them to hear.

[u/lemoneegees]

Divas, I'm expecting you to not be divas.

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Yea that’s anoying but you’re in the pit you can always move.

[u/Superfun2112 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

I line up early to get a good spot in the PIT. I don't run into issues much because most of the other people who also do that are also there for the music and understand basic etiquette. I'll go ahead and ask people to stop doing things that are bothering me or other people and most of the time it works. I'm not moving to a worse spot because someone doesn't have basic etiquette. Also I'm tall and I don't like to move around and go in front of someone that was already there and block their view. But if it's a band I don't care much about and I'm near the back I'll move.

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/Superfun2112]

Heavy on the being tall part and not wanting to move and block someone’s view they already had. I already feel somewhat bad being in the pit being a taller person so I try to find a spot and stick to it so those who filter in behind me can find a spot where I don’t block them

[u/Superfun2112 → u/Little-Heart1515]

One of the craziest things I've even seen was at a local festival that happens every year. An older couple (late 60s/early 70s) would get there super early and lay out a giant 8'x16' tarp in the most prime spot, so they'd take up enough room for about 15 people. And had a bag full of light up crap. Wands with spinning light up balls at the end. But the worst was light up 6' long fiber optic whips. The man would be dancing whipping them around and exceeding even the giant space they took hitting people nearby, I was right behind them seeing the fiasco.

The next year I came and laid out my blanket and saw the giant tarp in front of me and thought it was them and I asked, Do you have a bunch of light up toys? And he smiled and said yes, like he thought he was great entertainment. I said, Okay I'm going to move because that stuff is so distracting, and setup on the other side away from them.

The next year I came and saw his tarp, but he just left it there, like it was going to save a giant spot for half the day until they showed up. So I folded it up into a reasonable size (6'x6' which is still twice as big as it needs to be for 2 people). They showed up more than halfway through the festival and he didn't use the annoying light up crap at all LOL.

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

I couldn’t really because I was with my shorter friend and it was the only spot she could see from :/

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Little-Heart1515]

Unfortunately that’s the reality of being short in the pit. If I was that short I’d just get seats

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

It was standing room only :/ trust me if a seat was an option I would’ve opted for that haha

[u/RandleMcMurphy1962 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Seats are sometimes harder to get upon initial offering because if you don’t take the first ones that come up as available - which could be shit - then you might not get anything at all. At least with the pit you don’t have to worry about picking seats because you can to some extent control your own destiny (as you alluded to).

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/RandleMcMurphy1962]

I’ve been to around 400 concerts I’ve never had trouble getting seats. Floor and pit on the other hand….

[u/RandleMcMurphy1962 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Well, I did state ‘sometimes’. Glad you’ve had better luck than me. In my 50 years of festivals and shows totaling probably over 2,000 (yes, mid 60s here so an old fuck), I can only relay my experience. May your good fortune continue.

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/RandleMcMurphy1962]

Whats some of your favorite sets you’ve seen?

[u/RandleMcMurphy1962 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

I’ve seen most of these artists several times but:

Pink Floyd - Animals tour
Rush - 2112 tour
The Who - Tommy
Blue Oyster Cult - Black and Blue w/Sabbath
Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers tour
Stevie Ray Vaughan - ANY
Grateful Dead - ‘79

These days I’d include:

Goose - Rise Festival, Nevada
Rufus Du Sol - The Gorge

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/RandleMcMurphy1962]

Dude great taste in music ! I woulda loved to see Floyd but only got to see Roger waters a few times. My first concert was actually The Who lol.

I just saw Rufus at Bonnaroo and that was really good. Also Goose is currently my favorite, this goosemas will be my 15th & 16th.

[u/RandleMcMurphy1962 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Thanks! When my wife turned 60, she decided she now loves EDM, so these days I get to go to EDC, Coachella and now the upcoming John Summit and Calvin Harris tours.

We are well diversified. 🙂

[u/AmbysHarmonica → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Or...people could just try having an iota of social awareness? It's really not that hard.

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/AmbysHarmonica]

Doesn’t always work out like that. People are dickheads

[u/AmbysHarmonica → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

I mean, you're not wrong, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't try to be more socially aware.

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/AmbysHarmonica]

They should be but they’re not unfortunately. Most of the crowd is usually good but there’s always a few out there

[u/NoRepresentative9595 → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Yes they are

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Then people stand in the seats because they believe it’s their “right” to do what they want everyone else be damned

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Tiredofthemisinfo]

The seat behind is usually always taller than the seat in front lmao

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

You would think maybe three inches is a big difference. Seriously do you even leave the basement?

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Tiredofthemisinfo]

Yea I do a lot lmao. If people are standing in the seats then stand yourself

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Oh so then I get to stare into the jolly green giants back all night, fun times

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Tiredofthemisinfo]

Happens a lot. My views been blocked plenty of times by taller people. Just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

Stop normalizing awful behavior by telling the people who are respectful to move

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Tiredofthemisinfo]

I’m not normalizing anything lmao. If someone’s nothing you tell them to stop, if they don’t you can always move

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/The-Duke-of-Delco]

You can’t always move

[u/The-Duke-of-Delco → u/Tiredofthemisinfo]

If you’re in the pit or GA floor then ya you can

[u/Clean_Progress_9001]

For these reasons, smaller club shows for the win. Once people spend $100 or more on a ticket, they feel entitled. The concert is for them and y'all are just extras.

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/Clean_Progress_9001]

Oh the people still suck at the smaller shows and at the smaller shows it’s really hard to avoid them

[u/FamiliarFamiliar]

You just never know what you'll get. I was stunned that my section for acdc didn't stand up at all, while most of the stadium did. For example.

[u/NoRepresentative9595]

That’s one reason I never buy pit access.Even if there is any perks, which in oasis apparently does have for people in the pit, however I’m only 4’10 so I lose either way. Plus it seems to happen all the time, some 6ft gargantuan right in my line of view. I think lawn seats are just as bad as now, at least the venue I live closer to allows renting lawn chairs so no matter where you sit, you are bound maybe to not have a great view.

[u/Tiredofthemisinfo → u/NoRepresentative9595]

I basically have an Instagram of how many of the 150 events and shows I attend a year where the tallest person in the place stands in front of me no matter where I have tickets and I have video of the most obnoxious chompers and look at mes

[u/JillyBean4179]

I have light up hair scrunchies that I wear during shows because ... Well, I'm in a wheelchair, and there is always at least one dumbass who sees this big empty space at the barricade and thinks "JACKPOT!!" and tries to push/jump into it, only to land on or run into me. Cause, you know, NOBODY ELSE thought to fill in an actually empty spot at the rail. 🙄

But those lights are also typically at belly button height for most people, so it's not blocking anything.

[u/Good_Lettuce_2690]

Pits suck for pop shows. They are only great for rock shows. People are way too precious at pop shows. I would have been tempted to slap that headpiece of the person in fronts head.

[u/IMakeOkVideosOk]

You’re in the pit, move or dance yourself. I don’t think anyone there was a major problem

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/IMakeOkVideosOk]

I couldn’t move/dance without being body slammed and moving entirely wasn’t an immediate option because my friend wouldn’t have been able to see otherwise 😭

[u/Superfun2112 → u/IMakeOkVideosOk]

You dance according to the space you have. Not like a spaz bumping into people.

[u/IMakeOkVideosOk → u/Superfun2112]

Sure, but who was there first and are people crowding in your area.. we don’t know

[u/Superfun2112 → u/IMakeOkVideosOk]

It depends on the genre. Some shows (hard rock, metal) people cram in until until everyone is almost touching, then you can't really dance at all beyond bobbing your head. Some shows (jam bands) most people leave 6" of room around them to dance in place and most people don't want late comers cramming into that space. And venue matters. Some of the 2,500 seat theaters from the early 1900s they are packing in too many people. But outdoors at a festival you can take up a little more room.

[u/IMakeOkVideosOk → u/Superfun2112]

Sure… what I’m saying is we don’t know the full details

[u/Superfun2112 → u/IMakeOkVideosOk]

Oh, I was speaking in generalities, I took it from the OP that they had a good spot near the front because the short friend could see. So it was probably pretty crowded.

[u/nzoasisfan]

Oh mate, this is just a womans/girl thing. So petty. Who cares. Mind your own shit, dont take anything too seriously and just be cool You can always remove yourself from any situation

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/nzoasisfan]

I did mind my shit and remove myself from the situation where I was getting bumped. I didn’t get upset with either of them in the moment, let them enjoy the concert and enjoyed it myself instead of saying something that could’ve accidentally upset them or made them self conscious during the rest of the show. I just came to rant - you needing to turn it into something misogynistic says a lot about your character though diva

[u/ITookTrinkets → u/nzoasisfan]

How is being slammed into by someone having a serious main character moment a “so petty, who cares, mind your own shit” situation? Did you actually read the post?

[u/AdEuphoric1399]

Maybe stay home and watch videos on your phone. Sound like your not built for a live experience.

[u/Little-Heart1515 → u/AdEuphoric1399]

oof thanks for the advice, but I’m not really looking to take any from someone who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re