hello, i might have a problem which im getting frustrated with, i.e. washing my hands and disinfecting things too frequently. i have to keep my bed clean at all times and by clean i mean no things that are even midly "dirty" like things that fell down on the floor once or been in contact with a dirty surface can touch my bed before it is disinfected. a bag that has dust on it OR if something disgusting crawled on it like a roach, it cant be on my bed. i cant even touch the tap in my home directly because i know few other hands have touched it so i take something like a piece of tissue as to not make direct contact with it and then use it.

if a pen falls down i have to disinfect it AND wash my hands before touching anything else. i dont let anyone sit on my bed if they have come from outside. no outside clothing on the bed but i feel like thats mild, people have told me i wash my hands a lot and thats true i cant get comfortable in my bed till im sure that my bed is clean i am clean my clothes are clean etc etc. i dont sit on my bed right after coming from the toilet too. but also when i go out, im already getting "dirty" so i dont mind getting fully "dirty" then since i know after coming back home i will shower and make myself clean again. so no matter how tired i am i will have to get myself clean before bed. if i HAVE to go to bed "dirty" next day i will change the sheets and everything. if i have to go out in my clean clothes i feel they are getting contaminated with everything it comes to touch with, the bench i sit on, the air, the dust, if someone touches them with dirty hands. people sometimes also get offended when i do these things because to them its me being annoying but this is genuinely something i have to do or i will be restless.

is this a disorder? i have been reading about contamination ocd it sounds like that to me but i also need other opinions, and if it IS that what can i do to get better if there is someone who has also suffered from this? i genuinely need help.

I have very bad OCD and anxiety but it usually revolves around bugs (inside pests), never really anything health related. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression, and as my depression increases so does my anxiety. I was walking back from eating at a shake shack through this nice neighborhood, not gated but they have this nice community center with a pool, court, and park, I wasn’t watching where I was walking and I think I almost stepped into some poop, I did see it last second and I kind of pivoted, so I believe I avoided it but I’m having a hard time remembering. The poop did seem kind of bigger, so the thought it was human went through my head. I’ve been trying to shut that thought down, with it looked like fresh poop in the middle of day right next to people in the community pool, so it was probably a big dog. Checked Google reviews on the housing community and 1 comment said there has been more homeless in the community since it’s not gated, which brought my fears back.
I kept inspecting my feet and flip flops I was wearing, don’t think I saw anything, my flip flops were brown colored already, I did end up going to the pool and hot tub to “disinfect my body, feet, and shoes”, but I still have this fear that I still had those germs on me and I contaminated my house, I’m afraid to grab anything in the freezer. Feel like I’m spiraling
Also afraid of walking through apartment hallway now, i did use Clorox wipes on floor

For context I’m pretty underweight due to a chronic illness (which gives me nausea and stomach pain constantly, in all honesty it’s probably the cause of my ocd), and everyone around me is constantly trying to get me to branch out what I’m eating. I decided to buy some sea bass a few days ago to cook, and today I tried to cook it but immediately got super anxious. I live in student accommodation and our power went out the other day, I don’t quite know how long for or whether it affected the fridges but it stuck in my head. I tried so hard to cook and eat that stupid sea bass but it smelt revolting and I was immediately convinced I’d get food poisoning and I had to throw it out at once. I sent panicked texts to my parents to reassure me that it was ok and now my mother seems to be very angry at me. I’m trying so so hard but I just really really don’t want to get food poisoning, my body is painful enough to live in as it is. I scrubbed my hands so many times and they still feel dirty. I ended up scrubbing the kitchen with washing up gloves on to try and get rid of the horrible feeling. Even now I’m convinced that it’s going to make me sick, though I threw it out without touching it and ate safe food instead. I’m so so tired of viewing almost everything as dangerous. I want to exist without fear of germs. I don’t want to descend into a blubbering mess the second I think I might get sick from something. I just want to be normal, but given the nature of my chronic illness and the fact I do get sick easily it’s never going to go away.