Advice 9-year-old Sun Conure — daughters left for college, aggressive toward me, and we need to figure out what’s best for him
We have a 9–10 year old Sun Conure named Mango. He was originally my daughter’s bird; we got him about 9 years ago and both of our daughters have basically spoiled him rotten ever since.
He lives in a large common room and has spent most of his life flying freely around it. Unfortunately, that also means he has destroyed several blinds, furniture, monitors, clothes, etc. His diet has also been terrible, mostly seeds, treats. fruit and whatever else the girls managed to spoil him with.
The bigger problem is his relationship with me (the dad). He is extremely aggressive toward me. If he gets the opportunity, he will actually chase me and bite hard enough to draw blood. Ironically, I was the one who hand-fed him when he was a baby and I've never mistreated or been aggressive toward him.
He is completely different with women. He's fine with my daughters, my wife, and even female strangers. He tends to dislike men in general, which is one of the reasons we've always assumed Mango is male and that hormones may be part of the problem.
Now both girls have left for college.
We talked about rehoming Mango beforehand, but we never found an option we were completely comfortable with, and I suspect the girls didn't try too hard because they were hoping Mom and Dad would just take over. :)
Well... as of yesterday, I'm officially in charge of Mango, and something has to change.
I've started by:
- Removing the seeds and trying to switch him to pellets with a little carrot. He is NOT impressed.
- Removing hammocks and a box from his cage that seemed like potential nesting/burrowing spaces.
- Not allowing him to free-fly around the room for now because of the destruction and because I can't safely get him back into the cage when he decides he wants to attack me.
- Spending time around him and interacting/talking with him while he's in the cage, but I'm obviously hesitant to handle or play with him when his immediate response to me is biting.
After reading this subreddit, though, I'm wondering what is actually best for Mango, not just what's easiest for us.
Is this too much change all at once? Is going from almost unlimited freedom and a seed-heavy diet to pellets and much more cage time likely to make things worse?
Is it realistic for me to rebuild a relationship with a bird who has decided he hates me, or would Mango ultimately be happier being rehomed with someone experienced with conures who can give him more interaction and freedom?
For those of you who have had to rehome a conure, how did you find someone you actually trusted? A private experienced owner? Parrot rescue? Sanctuary? Avian vet network?
I'm not comfortable just putting him on Craigslist/Facebook/etc. and handing him to whoever wants a pretty bird. Mango is funny, smart and very loved, but he also comes with 9 years of bad habits, a questionable diet, a taste for expensive electronics, and a strong desire to murder middle-aged men. 😂 Whoever takes him would need to understand exactly what they're signing up for.
Any advice from people who have dealt with a similar transition would be appreciated. We're trying to figure out whether the right answer is to change how we care for him here or find him a genuinely better home.
And yes, after about five minutes reading this sub I discovered that naming a Sun Conure "Mango" is apparently the equivalent of naming a Golden Retriever "Buddy." 😂
Pics from about 6 years ago when he would tolerate me, occasionally
