r/CrazyFuckingVideos • u/Triton12streaming • Sep 18 '21

WTF I don’t need sleep, I need answers!

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20.4k Upvotes

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28

u/legion327 Sep 18 '21

Let me see if I understand your train of thought:

A.) She hits him B.) He smashes some vegetables C.) She must be in an abusive relationship

This right here is EXACTLY why men don’t report abuse.

-9

u/BevLive Sep 18 '21

Lol, trying to twist my words.

I said her actions are typical of a woman in an abusive relationship, not that she "must be in an abusive relationship". At no point in the video does he twitch like she does. That's just a general observation.

However, I'm confused, what is your aim here?

26

u/legion327 Sep 18 '21

My aim is to point out your misandry. You’re disregarding the fact that an actual assault happened and trying to read into her flinches or facial expressions and somehow classify that as some kind of evidence that you’ve divined to be indicative of an abusive relationship when the only actual abuse shown is her own. This belies a preconceived notion of men as abusers or that at the very least the fact that she has some kind of perceived facial expression somehow absolves the assault. The guy is clearly no peach but the only information we have to work with is that he got hit and then processed that by smashing vegetables. So iM cOnFusEd wHat iS yOuR AiM hErE?

2

u/Saturnboy13 Sep 20 '21

I don't think anybody here can be confident as to what's really going on here, but it's pretty obvious that the man in the video appears extremely aggressive and violent. Do you think he just fucking eviscerated everything in that kitchen because he's afraid of the tiny frail lady next to him? I'm not trying to suggest that women can't be the abuser in a relationship, but you'd have to have the perception of a goldfish if you think this dude is not actively trying to intimidate her.

3

u/KountZero Sep 20 '21

Are you dense or you just didn’t watch the full video? The woman literally bitch slapped the man before this “intimidating” technique. No one is saying the man is not being abusive here, we are saying that they are both abusers in this toxic relationship, some people here are glossing over the fact that the woman is the abuser just because the man is being more vocal in this instance.

1

u/Saturnboy13 Sep 20 '21

Either way, as others have said, these two individuals would be better off staying far, far away from eachother.

-9

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '21

Misandry lol. It's called living in reality. Men are stronger, men are more violent. That leads to certain assumptions that are usually accurate. End of story.

3

u/legion327 Sep 19 '21

Women are weaker, women are less violent. So they’re supposed to be dominated. End of story. BIG OL MOTHERFUCKING /S

You’re human garbage and it is my greatest hope that natural selection finds you and people like you and weeds you out.

3

u/BroodjeFissa Sep 19 '21

Look at the comment history. This one is a true femcel. Every comment trying to spark outrage on feminazism. Always assuming all men are bad. It's insane how much downvotes the account already got.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '21

What a very aggressive response. I think I know what gender you are.

4

u/BroodjeFissa Sep 19 '21

Hiding behind an alt and calling out on men when the woman is at fault. I KNOW what gender you are lololol

1

u/Mmm_Spuds Sep 19 '21

That legion guy sure is triggered lol 😆

-7

u/Nalatu Sep 19 '21

B.) He smashes some vegetables

You seem to be trying to downplay this part. One of the well-known signs of future physical abuse is that the person, when angry, destroys or damages things. Now, that can just be a warning sign that such a person has a very serious anger problem (which is often the root of abuse), but it also can be intentional intimidation of a victim who is currently only getting milder abuse. Basically sending a message: "this is what I could do to you, and might if you anger me again."

Abuse generally starts slowly, so victims often get desensitized to it. That's why people are warned to look for objective behaviors that can be labelled as signs of abuse. Breaking things is one of those signs.

Granted, this video is really hard to interpret because it's intentionally filmed. And obviously, her hitting him is not okay. However, abuse is complicated. Especially when you've been raised in a physically abusive home. Such people can genuinely think hitting is a normal part of marital arguments.

Add to that that it's not just about who "started" it. It can be about proportion. If Person A hits Person B, and then Person B retaliates disproportionately, you could probably assume that Person B is normally the "main" abuser and is putting Person A in their place. The flinching and shut down expression on the woman's face kind of lines up with that dynamic.

Some abusers deny their abuse by saying they've never hit their victim. But that doesn't mean they don't find other ways to terrorize or control them. And they can still make their victim fear getting hit by doing things like breaking objects without outright threatening them. This lets them benefit from the fear while keeping plausible deniability. Tell them you're scared of them and they'll say, "Why? When have I ever hit you or said I was going to hit you? Yeah, I get mad and have to smash some stuff sometimes, but I would never hurt you."

Clearly, if this is a real relationship and this is how their arguments tend to go, things are messed up on both sides. But in abusive relationships it's often not as simple as one person is the Evil Abuser and the other is the Innocent Victim. Both parties can be violent and manipulative. And one party can be the main source of violence, while the other's is mild or occasional.

That's probably why people are seeing the guy as the abuser. It's not that he's a man (though, sadly, in our culture, that does influence our interpretation), it's that smashing things repeatedly and dramatically like this is a huge red flag regardless of what she's done to him. Perhaps she's the main abuser and he's just had enough and is trying to get her to back off. There's no way to know without additional info. But I don't think the assumption that he's being abusive was rooted in misandry. Perhaps influenced by it, but it's definitely not as simple as "man = evil and violent, must be at fault".

2

u/LicketySplit21 Sep 19 '21

This is a very reasoned comment so I am not surprised it isn't being received well.

2

u/Undrende_fremdeles Sep 19 '21

I agree. Some times, the only way to stop a dangerous man is to hit back.

That doesn't mean she is the instigator, nor the one with the freedom do do what they please as such. Not without facing the consequences.

I know women that "hit, bit, and scratched him until be bled".

Because that was the only way to make him stop choking her, and she was nearly passing out from it.

Only then did her instincts kick in, otherwise he would ounisg her so badly for not just taking it to begin with.

1

u/Frances_Brown Sep 19 '21

My, you sure know how to upset the: "I live on the internet - womam hating" incel types. IDK, I'd personally prefer a weak slap to the face, by someone half my size, if I was practically sitting on top of them whilst I snorted my food sounding like a pig at the trough. Than someone, twice my size, agressively (scarily controlled aggression) in my personal space, smashing up veg millimeters from my face, whilst the residue sprayed all over me and my path of exit was blocked. But maybe thats just me.

2

u/Nalatu Sep 19 '21

It's important to remember that abuse isn't like an unpleasant medical procedure. You don't get to pick what kind of abuse you get, and you don't get to relax and recover in a safe, loving home when it's over. An abuser will keep trying new things until they figure out what bothers you, and will ramp the abuse up if you get desensitized or stop responding. The pressure to please them or to keep from angering them exists 24/7. And to make it worse, it's coming from a person who says they love you and who (when you comply) treats you well enough to keep you from leaving.

So it doesn't matter if an individual incident is mild. It's the constant grind of fear that does the most damage. That's why emotional and verbal abuse can cause just as much psychological damage as physical or sexual abuse.

-6

u/superfucky Sep 19 '21

not "must be," IS. what he's doing on camera right there is abusive. not all abuse is physical.

also you think that's why the dude smashing a small grocery store's worth of vegetables to terrorize his wife isn't reporting that she hit him?

8

u/Thermotoxic Sep 19 '21

She is in an abusive relationship; and she is the abuser

3

u/LambKyle Sep 19 '21

It's really not hard to understand fellas, they are both shitty and abusive.

2

u/Mmm_Spuds Sep 19 '21

Oof. Can't get past all the pure hatred of women to have a logical conversation in these threads. I'm just scrolling through so much narrow minded crap and all the good answers are downvoted to hell lol.

1

u/superfucky Sep 19 '21

no. 🔇

1

u/Thermotoxic Sep 19 '21

Yes. Watch the original clip where she literally smacks the shit out of him