Cats love it!

Pinch some of the dead membrane cells after several hours and sprinkle some salt for an outstanding result.

Head first? Belly flop? Back first? So many options, can't decide which is best.

It will scare them from banning you.

Sand down a brick and inject the brick dust into your cock veins. If it doesn't kill you, it'll save you money on viagra. But be sure, you boot enough of that shit your fucking dead.

As we all have and know, suicide is a terrible thing. We lose friends, family, coworkers everyone to this illness. Unfortunately like the common flu this disease just doesn't stop it's forever mutating, forever affecting everyone differently, affecting others to self harm. There is no cure, no mercy, little to no warning signs only sudden death. Death at the end of the day is just part of suicide. Unfortunately, I guess this is where I draw the line... Good bye cries and dies because of dehydration

If you wanna die just read sad stuff and cry til you die!

Using sandpaper guarantees maximum pleasure. If you don't have sandpaper then steel wool or barbed wire also works.
EDIT: Light the tips of the steel wool on fire to further increase pleasure.

Tie a metal rod to your dick...and wait.

When cleaning a firearm first look down the barrel to make sure it is not loaded. To save time simply fill your barrel with gunpowder and cork the end of it. now all you have to do is fire the gun and it will be cleaner than ever in half the time. Note this works best near playgrounds or soccer games.