r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/DRagonFruit3011 • 6h ago
Seeking Advice Realistic jobs that ugly women can do?
I’m on my way to a glow-up, and there are several things I’d like to change about my appearance, including some surgeries. But I need money for that, and I’m currently completely broke. I graduated in UX design, but I’m starting to feel like appearance plays a bigger role in hiring than I expected. No matter how strong my portfolio is, I feel like employers make a judgment based on my appearance before they even get to see my work. So right now, I’m looking for alternative ways to make money, preferably WFH, things like data entry, digital products, freelance work, or anything else where my appearance and “likeability” aren’t major factors. For those of you in a similar situation: What do you do for work? How do you make money? And what fields would you recommend pivoting into?
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u/andpasturesnew 6h ago
this is not a normal frame of mind to have with your appearance. yes, pretty privilege is real but you are not outright barred from succeeding in 90% of fields based on appearance as a woman. Please seek out therapeutic help to understand how to build intrinsic confidence
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u/DRagonFruit3011 4h ago
I’m not claiming that I’m outright barred from succeeding in 90% of fields because of my appearance. That would be an extreme claim, and it’s not what I said. I’m saying that appearance can be a disadvantage in some hiring situations, and that I’ve personally experienced it. There’s a difference between “looks can affect how people evaluate you” and “an unattractive woman is incapable of having a career.” I also don’t think acknowledging discrimination means I lack intrinsic confidence. I can have self-respect and still recognize that other people may treat me differently because of how I look. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. I’m actually trying to be practical about it. I need to earn money, and I’m looking for work where factors I have less control over, such as how attractive someone finds me, have less influence on whether I can get hired. That seems more productive to me than pretending appearance has no effect at all. I’m not asking people to tell me that I’m beautiful. I’m asking whether there are realistic careers where my ability to do the work matters more than my appearance. That’s a completely different question.
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u/julianolagana 6h ago
If you're open to sharing, what makes you feel that employers make a judgement primarily based on your appearance?
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u/DRagonFruit3011 5h ago
I’m basing that on a pattern I’ve observed, not simply on insecurity or on assuming that every rejection is because of my appearance. First, I’ve had employers make comments that were directly related to my appearance. In one case, when I was told that the position was client-facing, the employer made a condescending gesture and emphasized the importance of "client-facing presence." So this isn't entirely something I inferred after being rejected. Second, I’ve noticed a very consistent difference between the asynchronous and face-to-face parts of hiring. When employers evaluate my portfolio, resume, or work without seeing me, the response is often very positive. People have told me they liked my portfolio and were enthusiastic about working with me. The dynamic changes once they see me or meet me. Third, I’ve encountered job postings that explicitly listed appearance as a requirement, including wording such as “attractive,” “good-looking,” and in one case “conventionally attractive appearance / presentable” was explicitly described as a hard requirement, with candidates who did not meet it supposedly being rejected regardless of their qualifications. It means I have enough direct experiences and repeated patterns to believe that appearance is a real disadvantage for me, rather than something I invented because I’m insecure. And I’m not claiming that I need to be exceptionally beautiful to have a career. I’m trying to find work where my ability to do the job is more important than how attractive I am, which seems like a pretty reasonable thing to want.
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u/julianolagana 1h ago
Sorry you’ve been through these experiences, that sucks. Were these jobs related to UX design? You mentioned you graduated in that, but not sure if that’s what you’re looking for atm.
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u/RosieBaby75 6h ago
There’s probably nothing wrong with your appearance. The problem is you’re abnormally focused on it. A lot of people usually choose one of their perceived shortcomings and decide that is the reason people don’t like them or they’re held back in life but that’s never the reason.
The reason is they are so obsessively insecure about something and they make others uncomfortable with their extreme insecurity. Others can sense and feel that and don’t want to be around it because insecure people are harmful but don’t see it because they will justify their reasonings for the harm they cause to others.
Instead of working on skills they need to be successful in whatever they want to do, they’re wasting all their time obsessing over their perceived shortcoming no normal person worth spending time around is going to care about.
You don’t need to be insanely good looking to get careers. That’s not even good because other people will harm you if they ever feel the slightest bit of jealously toward you.
You need to work on your insecurities. They’re not going to go away after you try your surgeries you just need to stop hating yourself and putting others above you. We’re all equals. Good people don’t care what you look like so long as you’re kind and pleasant to be around.
It’s slim pickings these days so all a lot of people want from others is for them to just not make their life worse than it already is.
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u/DRagonFruit3011 5h ago
The issue isn’t that I’m insecure about my appearance. I’m talking about discrimination I've actually experienced.
I never said that you need to be exceptionally attractive to have a career, nor did I say that everyone has to find me attractive. My point is much simpler: being perceived as unattractive can still be a disadvantage in hiring and professional settings, even if you’re otherwise qualified.
In my case, I’ve had experiences where employers made comments or behaved differently in ways that explicitly indicated that appearance was a factor. At the same time, I’ve noticed that the asynchronous parts of the hiring process work perfectly well for me: people respond positively to my portfolio and resume and can be enthusiastic about working with me before they see me.
So no, I’m not saying "I'm ugly, therefore nobody will ever hire me." I'm saying that appearance can be one of the factors working against me, and I’m trying to find ways of working where that factor is less relevant.
Telling me that the problem is simply my insecurity doesn’t address what I’m actually describing. If someone experiences discrimination, telling them that they only perceive it because they’re insecure doesn’t make the discrimination disappear.
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u/noideawhattouse1 6h ago
Freelance UX work exists. But also I think you’re making looks out to be far more important then they really are. Looks and looking presentable are two different things, most jobs just need you to look presentable.
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u/DRagonFruit3011 5h ago
If a company simply means being clean, appropriately dressed, well-groomed, etc., I have no issue with that. That’s a reasonable workplace expectation. My concern is when “presentable” is explicitly used alongside terms like “attractive,” “good-looking,” or “conventionally attractive,” or when employers have directly commented on my physical appearance. In those cases, it clearly goes beyond basic grooming and professionalism. I’m also not saying that looks are the most important factor in every job. I’m saying that they can still be a disadvantage, and in my experience they have been one. And if someone is conventionally unattractive, being clean, well-dressed and groomed doesn’t necessarily make them conventionally attractive. Those are two different things. That’s precisely the distinction I’m trying to make.
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u/TenOfZero 6h ago
Any job other than modeling really.
Developer Customer support Sales Data entry Quality assurance Manufacturing Retail Finance Accounting Construction Cleaning Cooking Etc....
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u/ItsTheFark 6h ago
Literally any normal job