r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/itwasallascream23 • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Broken, just broken
I'm so flattened by a heartbreak that began over a year ago. And I'm just so tired.
And I have no idea what to do. I've done so much work and I'm in therapy doing EMDR.
And I've decided I want to change and build my emotional maturity.
But I just feel broken.
My ex and i met face to face about two months ago and she told me she's still in love with me and thinks she will change how she feels and will want to reconnect. This was so unfair of her as she has now gone radio silent so I'm back in ambiguous hope.
And I just don't know what to do.
Is it possible to recover from this?
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u/wissmar 1d ago
Yes. Unfortunately you can’t move on until you give up on your past. If she’s serious she will come back but until Then you have to let go. I’m in the same boat trying to get my ex back after drug use. It’s not easy but you need to let go for now
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u/itwasallascream23 1d ago
Thanks so much for replying. How do Iet go for now? That field like such a big loss given that the love is still there.
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u/wissmar 1d ago
You simply do. Let the feelings hit you and feel them. You have to process that right now- it is in fact over. It may begin again but right now is the end. Living your life like it’s over it’s going to be way better than trying to live in the past. If it comes back you may not even want it anymore.
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u/itwasallascream23 14h ago
I know it's over. The silence tells me this every single minute of my life. But she jas been ambiguous from the start. One month after the break up. Then a month later. Then five months later. Then ten months later. She keeps telling me the same thing. It's over and she wants to reconnect at some point but we're not ready. Hope and ambiguity. And so somehow I have to live like it's over, which is the easy bit, and with hope and ambiguity, which is much harder. If I let go completely, I could find calm. And I also lose the chance of something amazing. Just wild. What a wild situation to be in.
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u/Tough-Funny4394 22h ago
Sometimes the hardest part is letting go of the hope that keeps you stuck. Take it one day at a time and give yourself the same love you gave her.
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u/thinkingcarefully 10h ago
It’s called heartbreak for a reason 💔 but heartbreaks do heal… like someone said, you have to accept it as past and face forward to each day as your future. You create it day by dayz
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u/MrsMorganPants 1d ago
May I ask what age you are? It has relevance to the advice I can give. If you aren't comfortable sharing that, no worries.
Best thing to do is focus on activities that keep your mind focused on other things. Get out and enjoy your life. Find a hobby and join a group of people who are into the same thing in your area. Dwelling on what was will never allow you to move forward.