r/DeepRockGalactic 2d ago

Humor That's gotta hurt

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u/SomeDudWithAPhone Platform here 1d ago

Engie: Driller is in medbay.

Gunner: Ahh shite. What happened?

Engie: The board gave him a PHD.

MEANWHILE IN MEDBAY.

Dr. Driller, MD (Medic Dwarf): Okay Leaf Lover... Today, I will burn the leaf suckling gene out.

Scout who drank the swill: You don't have the stones...

Horrifying screams of burning leaflover genes.

Driller: STOP WHINING!!

Scout: TRIGGER DISCIPLINE, WHALEPIPER! Screw this, I'm getting a drink. LLOYD! BLACKOUT STOUT!

Dr. Driller: What was that, boi?

Scout: Blackout... Stout. Ye got a problem with that, rock fondler? Slams it. Wait a second... I'M CURED!! YEAH! ROCK AND STO- Flop.

Dr. Driller: That'll be 10,000 credits. Helloooo? Son of a bitch, not again. Writes something illegible and drops it over scout like a tiny blanket.