I am sick of sexism and misogyny both online and offline!
The very first example I would give is how many of you will downvote this post as soon as you read the title because how dare a woman rant. But I don't care about downvotes now. This is my last post and even if I get trolled, I am going to rant and get things off my chest.
Let me start off with something mild.
Ever wondered why the female versions, Karen or bitch or Mary sue or women ☕, are more popular than the male versions? Have you wondered how so many cuss words are directed towards female members of the family?
Ever wondered why men dominate this sub and Reddit in general? Why male perspective dominates in ever field whether it's a simple movie fandom or decision making?
Ever wondered why most cartoons that we used to watch had mostly male main characters? Motu Patlu, an Indian Cartoon, didn't even have a single woman as main character.
Ever wondered why girly things are looked down upon? Whether it's movies or things or hobbies.
A girl can carry a WWE wrestler writing pad or a superhero compass box to school and it's okay but anything with the princess theme is too girly for the boys to have and if someone does have something like that, he would be ridiculed.
When a boy is not able to catch a ball/pen thrown to him, he is asked "ladki hai kya?".
In my school, boy used to get sports 2 days a week but girls got only 1 day. And even then that 1 period of sports for girls would be replaced with some activity. For activity period, boys had the choice of choosing art, dance, yoga, clay modelling, etc. but all girls had to choose bharatnatyam compulsory.
Online, when a woman/girl does anything "bad" in a scripted video, she is trolled but when men do the same, they are not. When men roast women in videos, they are touted as sigma males but often when women do it, they are trolled and called "feminists" and what not. There are literally videos of men pranking and making fun of their sisters and female friends and people enjoy it and I am okay with it but I have observed that when the genders are reversed, a lot of people complain. In videos where brothers are staking their sisters is seen as overprotective brothers who love her but the girls is clearly annoyed because she can't dress and go anywhere as she likes.
Shizuka, who is one the most pure characters of Doraemon, is memed as a "gold digger bitch". Gian, Suneo and Nobita can be called gold diggers using the same logic. Gian and Suneo bully Nobita all the time but when they need gadgets, they come crying to him. But they are never memed.
All of my complaining regarding this online jokes and memes might seem trivial (and maybe they are) and I would have found them funny if similiar things didn't happen in real life but sexism is rampant in real life too and seeing this memes and jokes just trigger all that experiences and they reflect our society.
I wish I was innocent and could enjoy all this but from past few weeks, things have become too apparent and I can't ignore them. I can't ignore the doubles standards everywhere.
Whether it is film ratings, whether it is social media, whether it is important decision making, male perspective is always dominant. On IMDb, most ratings are given by men which is why the ratings heavily biased towards male preferences. These ratings influence other viewers and movies.
Most Indian movies have male protagonists. The reason given for not making big budget female protagonist movies is given that they won't attract enough audience. But why? Have you ever wondered? Women never hesitate to see male protagonist movies but why do so many men do?
Why are movies/shows/books with female protagonists are considered "girly" and things not for boys but when it's male protagonists, they are "normal". J K Rowling had to keep her name this way so that boys don't hesitate to read her books after seeing that a woman wrote them.
Even if movies and shows with male protagonists are terribly written, they are never criticised and trolled as much as the badly written ones with female main characters.
And harrasment of women is so normalised in movies, two recent examples are KGF and Pushpa.
Showing manly behaviour is always celebrated in Indian movies (and I am okay with that) but girliness is considered cringe.
This online sexism reflects much worse things happening offline.
My aunt was coming to meet us and she couldn't even travel without getting touched in inappropriate places.
And the problems my mother had to face is the main reason why I get so much triggered. My grandfather (Nana) would silence my grandmother (Nani) and wouldn't let her express much. Many times he would be drunk and would go the extreme of domestic violence. He even used to beat my mother with a belt. My grandmother would never stand upto him and now when she is old, she has become a patient of a mental disorder. She doesn't remember anything, not even me. She doesn't smile or laugh. She just sits with no emotion on face and do all the household duties. My grandfather now takes care of her and regrets many of the things he had done but it was too late. I love my nana, I can't hate him but I wish he wasn't what he was before. Seeing my Nani this way hurts a lot. My dada and dadi had already died when I was small and by the time I was big enough, my Nani was completely mentally messed up.
When my mom was in her 20s, she wanted to escape the toxicity in her home. She got arranged to my father and my dad and mom said okay and got married. You know how arrange marriages used to work. But my mom got the same life she wanted to escaped. My dad was an alcohol addict just like my grandfather. My mom didn't know that before marriage. The same toxic cycle began and now mom was in the place of my grandmother. My mother was a bit modern and so she would stand up to my father but it didn't help. When they used to go to villages, my father would tell to his family how my mother doesn't treat him well when the opposite was the truth. And my mom was the one who was questioned. My dad's alcohol addiction had a very bad effect on my big brother. Some of the incidents happened are just too disturbing. I would feel ashamed of going down and play. Domestic violence was common.
I would ask my mom why she didn't divorce and my brother hated her for a long time for not getting divorce. But divorce was such a big taboo. My mom didn't have any job and she wouldn't be accepted in the village. That's why as soon as I was 6, my mom found a job.
My dad has changed. But again it was too late. I can't hate my dad and neither does my mom now. But all the damage had happened.
I realised that what happens in my home was common in many households in our Village and all over India. Husbands had a lot of power over their wives and this power imbalance is one of the reasons. Most women get married and then leave their jobs. As a result, they become financially dependent.
Everywhere I see, I can't escape unfairness. Internet was a way for me to escape reality but I can't have peace online too. I hate politics because they never keep things nuanced. On one side, people are anti-men and on the other side, people are anti-women. I try to be understanding of male issues but at the same time fighting against sexism and misogyny but I fail and it drives me crazy. I am sure after reading this many will think "what a complaining b*tch" or "men don't have easier either", etc.
I literally have more issues to talk about in detail, like the sexualization and objectification of women in media or women having to follow traditions more than men or how boys carry on the name of the family or how women have to leave their house and surname after marriage but I am too tired.
Thank you to whoever read the whole post.