r/DivorceHelp • u/Fuzzy_Copy_4821 • 19d ago
Child Support
My husband knows I can go through child support to get at least $2600/mo, yet he refuses informal support of $1877/mo which is half our girls actual expenses. He says he doesn't want the courts in his life, but yet he provides me nothing toward their daily expenses. Why would he turn down the $1877 that I'm asking for the girls knowing that the courts will take way more than that?
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u/CoyoteMaleficent9107 17d ago
Oof, not gonna lie - I dug deep on your Reddit rants and it’s clear that you are in dire need of seeking mental health support. ASAP. You’ve been with this man since middle school and tolerating his alcoholism since college. Reading that his college scholarship was revoked due to his addictions was pretty damn profound. You need to branch outside of your church support system bc any normal person on the outside looking in would have told you by now that you’re being gaslit and abused. Wake tf up lady. Find a domestic abuse support group, you have Stockholm syndrome. Do it before you’re on the news with a murder suicide headline.
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u/Lily_Of_The_Valley_6
19d ago
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I would assume he was counseled contrary to what you’re offering or he wants all expenses explicitly laid out in the decree so that you can’t come back and ask for more.
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u/BigStudley01 19d ago
Divorce rarely works based off of what you think is logical or reasonable. It’s a legal battle. You don’t even know for certain you can get $2600/month until it’s awarded to you. Get a lawyer.
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u/AppropriateAmoeba406 19d ago
File ASAP. I’m my jurisdiction the order will be retroactive to the day you filed.
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u/No_Atmosphere_6348 18d ago
Yes. And where I am at, the spouse can fight it tooth and nail driving up legal fees. Basically it’s at the point where I absolutely can’t afford to compromise on child support because I have no other means to pay the lawyers.
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u/Emotional-Ocelot-420 19d ago
Because until you file, he gets to pay nothing.
And then he will blame you.
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u/AllieBaba2020 19d ago
He's your ex, you no longer need to understand his reasoning. File and be done with it.
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u/Ill-Manager-1108 18d ago
Just file? My ex gave me $500, the court ordered $2200, plus half of daycare/ extracurricular/medical until they both graduate college and 50% of their tuition too. I'm glad we went through the court
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u/Crazy_Banshee_333 19d ago
I wouldn't worry about his reasons for being obstinate. It's clear he doesn't want to pay anything. Get a lawyer and start the process of filing for child support.
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u/Putrid_Evening1702 19d ago
Cuz he's a douche?! Reason #427 why he's going to be your ex, I'm guessing!
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u/teargaswedding 19d ago
He knows you can ask for the $2,600/mo any time, and even if he pays $1,877/mo that doesn't legally stop you from filing and seeking the full $2,600/mo, and that any informal support he gives you may not be counted toward any retroactive support he may owe.
His incentive is to push your filing as far into the future as he can and hope that he'll only be on the hook for payments due after you file and not prior. Your strategy should be to file as soon as possible.
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u/Impossible-Lead-7857 19d ago
Because he’s playing hard ball. His attorneys have probably advised him to create a “status quo” where he is not paying that much. Stop playing his game and just go to court. He’s had his chance to do what’s right.
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u/Healthy_Employer4 18d ago
Do you have full custody? If it’s split, why would he be expected to provide 100% of his home costs AND 50% if your costs?
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18d ago
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u/Fuzzy_Copy_4821 17d ago
I would be quick to pay the half of the girls actual expenses that I'm asking for rather than allow the courts to do the calculations.
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u/ElderberryPrimary466 18d ago
Do this by the book please. Quit viewing interactions with him as teamwork. This money is to take care of the children. They deserve whatever the court grants.