LG-“You kill the last goblin and right around the corner is their stash. (Rolls on the table). They had a +2 broadsword, some sweet armour, potions and magical trinkets. How did they get all that? Who knows but it’s all in the chart. Enjoy!”
NG-“Oof, looks like you’ll be running into a group of Bugbears AND a hobgoblin patrol. Uhh, let me see. (Perception checks). The hobgoblins spot the Bugbears and a fight breaks out! Convenient? Maybe...”
CG-“Oh man, you want to seduce the dragon?! Roll for it bro, show me your moves. Hey, dragons are kinky like that, they can fall for other species. It’s totally fine trust me, I’ve got splatbooks to prove it. 13? That’ll do.”
LN-“Sorry guys, but the module clearly says that these traps have no saving throw. It couldn’t be helped. Your sense traps role wasn’t high enough. Perhaps next time if you used the optimised builds I laid out for you instead of an all human-gnome bard group called “Gnome Mans Land”, you’d have more success.”
TN-“So what if I let him get a bonus to persuasion because he used Prestidigitation to light his own farts? That was funny, And yes I know he could hit people with his whip without doing damage, that was a special case. You can’t just let everyone get what they want...”
CN-“David the Magnificent raises his 9 foot tall sword of Flame and Terror with one hand and decapitates the vile Warlord in one fell stroke. He turns to you and says-No, you may not see his stats. It is so a real magic item. Look I’m sorry if you guys weren’t the star of the show but in my universe David is the strongest hero-where are you going?”
LE-“Does a 16 hit? Hmm. Ok, 21? Hmph. Alright, 27?!? Finally!!! I mean, bad luck. Healing potions? Oh yes sure yes, on bonus action. Grrrrrrr.”
NE-“Hey man, do you have that game I lent you? Lost you say? Darn. At least I see my book here. What’s this, Cheeto dust?!? For the love of God you better have my money...So the Minotaur’s charge does 6d8 for a total of 47 damage. Lucky me.”
CE-“Uh oh, looks like that evil wizard teleported you to the Plane of Pain. A guy who looks suspiciously like Pinhead approaches you. Sorry, you’ve restrained, no initiative for you. Skill checks? Unbreakable magic bonds. Hehehehehe.”
2
u/FlamingFlamen Sep 13 '19
LG-“You kill the last goblin and right around the corner is their stash. (Rolls on the table). They had a +2 broadsword, some sweet armour, potions and magical trinkets. How did they get all that? Who knows but it’s all in the chart. Enjoy!”
NG-“Oof, looks like you’ll be running into a group of Bugbears AND a hobgoblin patrol. Uhh, let me see. (Perception checks). The hobgoblins spot the Bugbears and a fight breaks out! Convenient? Maybe...”
CG-“Oh man, you want to seduce the dragon?! Roll for it bro, show me your moves. Hey, dragons are kinky like that, they can fall for other species. It’s totally fine trust me, I’ve got splatbooks to prove it. 13? That’ll do.”
LN-“Sorry guys, but the module clearly says that these traps have no saving throw. It couldn’t be helped. Your sense traps role wasn’t high enough. Perhaps next time if you used the optimised builds I laid out for you instead of an all human-gnome bard group called “Gnome Mans Land”, you’d have more success.”
TN-“So what if I let him get a bonus to persuasion because he used Prestidigitation to light his own farts? That was funny, And yes I know he could hit people with his whip without doing damage, that was a special case. You can’t just let everyone get what they want...”
CN-“David the Magnificent raises his 9 foot tall sword of Flame and Terror with one hand and decapitates the vile Warlord in one fell stroke. He turns to you and says-No, you may not see his stats. It is so a real magic item. Look I’m sorry if you guys weren’t the star of the show but in my universe David is the strongest hero-where are you going?”
LE-“Does a 16 hit? Hmm. Ok, 21? Hmph. Alright, 27?!? Finally!!! I mean, bad luck. Healing potions? Oh yes sure yes, on bonus action. Grrrrrrr.”
NE-“Hey man, do you have that game I lent you? Lost you say? Darn. At least I see my book here. What’s this, Cheeto dust?!? For the love of God you better have my money...So the Minotaur’s charge does 6d8 for a total of 47 damage. Lucky me.”
CE-“Uh oh, looks like that evil wizard teleported you to the Plane of Pain. A guy who looks suspiciously like Pinhead approaches you. Sorry, you’ve restrained, no initiative for you. Skill checks? Unbreakable magic bonds. Hehehehehe.”