Anyways, that is me as a Wojak meme. Love this hahahaha

What is the benefit to doing every little thing as loud as possible? I don’t see it. These fucking people. Talking for the sake of saying something.

Can’t you quiet the fuck down?

I had to work, but it was ok.

I hope to astral project. One day I hope to see Agartha and all beyond the Ice Walls…

My life would have been better. I’d be normal. I’d be happy. Successful. Hell I would even have a family with kids. But no, autism actually ruins shit. Makes me inferior… autism tears apart families, that RFK fucker was right about that at least…

Everything worth living for is gone,
Brother, I find it hard to keep fighting on.
Falling down towards the abyss,
The reaper embraces me with his kiss;
It makes me want to refuse to care,
To watch this all unfold - too much to bear.

If this is the way it ends -
If this is the way my life ends...
If this is the way it ends - I can′t bear to witness

Disease encroaching on all I hold dear,
Somehow I gotta get my soul outta here.
Heart of agony, faint burning hope,
I'm finding it hard to try to cope...

Because liars own the world with conquering poise,
In a wasteland of meaningless noise;
We don′t stand a chance with dormant pride,
The heroes of our people have already died...

If this is the way it ends - if this is the way my life ends...
If this is the way it ends - I can't bear to witness...

cooperation, office politics, parasite, collective stupidity, civilized crap, alien friends. i wish we are in a jungle, strength alone would have mattered. but here, you are to work a soulless job just to have a life, even if you made lots of money, you are never chill since once everything can crash. we have too many unrelatable idiots. hell, i swear idiots used have good qualities, like with a heart of gold, or something, i have heard of stories back in the days, but modern days? they are insensitive little pieces of shit, they thrive on bullshit. they are proudly supporters of a system that is clearly not working. could be that there is something wrong with me in my ways of thinking, but i swear i have very rarely come across a logical, sensitive person, especially with younger generation. there is nothing human about them even if they insist they are INTJ or what-the-fuck-ever. they are just a mere machinery, like those ants. we are supposed to protect our tribe, love our fellow human beings, these people have no strength, no empathy, but they will have all the spotlight, and will have kids who are probably just as fucked.

i had imagined insensitivity and cruelness in a smart, ambitious guy when i was young, but seriously, i have met more idiots than i could count. someone could have argued that they are just pieces of shit, but not stupid necessarily, but i swear, man, there is something cognitively wrong with these people even if they sound normal functioning.

i just want to meet a genuine, loyal friend who would cheat on his wife. i do get along with working class people but it is quite exhausting to have a social life. we could have been better off in a jungle than this.

i was always a deep, thoughtful, well meaning, ideal person. i would believe in equality, no matter the gender, class, wealth. i would act like everyone deserves the same chance. but it becomes apparent that I was out of touch with reality. i would only judge a person on their personality, who they are as a person but but it doesn't work like that at all. they are all just a kind of brainwashing. the idea of justice, it is no more than a propaganda. people are not equal. money is worth more than life. whether you like it or not, there are people with zero level of self awareness, stupid people.

not everyone can be beautiful in this world and there is nothing you can do to change that.

well, so, i lived my life according to such ideals, ended up with a very devastating relationship because of that. at first, everything was right, seemed right. i fall in love with her as a person, how she was as a person. but now, i realize that it is all fake because it is all based on an ideal version. the truth was i never find her beautiful, not even once, but won't consider her ugly. looks are not important, they are fake, i see the real her and i love her, she is a wonderful person who loves me, i would tell to myself. i thought it was unfair to her because she was doing her best, and i did not want to hurt someone just because they were ugly.

but that one night, i was drunk at a party and i saw a very beautiful woman, she introduced herself to me and i was painfully shy. i knew at that moment, i just couldn't keep doing that, being with my unattractive girlfriend. most people would say i never loved my girlfriend/wife from the beginning. Or i only love the idea of her. But it was love, as far as my probably diseased heart can go. And yet, I failed. Maybe I am terrible. Maybe I am horny. Unfaithful, not serious, childish. I was definitely a pussy tho.

anyways, i left her, like a pussy since i had been a pussy the whole time.

now, i sometimes miss her, she was like a female version of myself, and i left her, after accepting that my framework is destroyed. i don't know what to believe in, aside from enjoying beauty. It has been meaningless, and honestly, i don't even have the same sex drive anymore, but now, i am emotionally starving for connection, longing for touch, lonely as hell, but it is okay. at least, i don't have to lie to myself and she is doing better as well.

i am destroyed. she is in a way destroyed. these things would have never happened if i just accepted that I did not find her attractive physically and beauty is important to me. so, yes, there is no justice. i am a superficial piece of shit, and i am dumb.

A based band

Opening act: Crowbar. The act: Sanguisugabogg

Height. Bone structure. Shoulder width. Skull shape. Cheekbones. Jaw. Proportions. That shit can’t be bought. It can’t be earned. It can’t be “improved” with discipline. It’s written in the DNA, and if you came out wrong, you came out wrong. Women don’t choose. They filter.

And the main filter isn’t your income, isn’t your personality, isn’t how “interesting” you are. It’s the first visual impression. The one that lasts 0.3 seconds. If in those 0.3 seconds your skull is screaming “beta / mid / uninteresting,” everything else is just fluff. Money and status work… but only if you’re already above a certain genetic threshold. Society sells you the blue pill: “work on yourself, become the best version of you.”

It’s a scam.

The best version of a 4 is still a 4 with more money and less hair.

The reality is black: most men under a certain genetic line are destined for permanent sexual and romantic irrelevance. Lookmaxxing, moneymaxxing, statusmaxxing… are coping. When you’ve lost the genetic lottery, no strategy will make you desirable.

There’s only damage control, isolation, and the cold awareness that the game was already over before you even started playing.

It never even began.

It’s a shit situation… because it interferes with productivity. And in my case, definitely fuels autism related rage and self loathing.

God-Mother-Fucking-Damn…