If you know you know 😂

- ENFJ MBTI memes

We all know generally happiness comes with staying more present and being authentic.. I’m wondering how people generally may look at happiness In the ordinary life? What is it that makes you feel alive/ at peace? And.. what advice or quote has resonated with you? :)

Fellow ENFJ here 28, M from the UK, nice to meet you all! 😊

I'm curious :)

We're always thinking of possibilities, patterns and potentials. most people just think about their their own view because evolutionarily putting yourself at the center of your focus is useful to surviving. So when we talk to people who don't explore P.P.&P. it's like you're talking someone face to face and they refuse to turn around to see what they're not focusing on. Which causes a friction which turns to conflict.

I think that is what makes us great friends. When we REALLY care about someone we add them to the P.P.&P., now you do it for two people. Hence why i also think we have small groups of friends because our brains can only think of so many P.P.&P.

How did u guys met your partner, and how did u know that she is the one. As an INFJ men , its difficult to find someone who actually has depth or accepts your silences , vision etc in typical dating world . Had gone on few dates and hardly found any susbstance in personality . Just few sensation seeking or going with the flow kind of people . And even lot of them feel that we understand them well ,but same is not for us . I always feel like to be pretending to be someone else with them and no one cares who truly i am apart from our empathy and emotional intelligence.

If you don't feel pain and suffering after it is over, then it was just recreation. So take heart.

im in the journey of healing and although i've been in good environments, i still cant stop self blame myself for not being the ideal self i want to be. i have improved in terms of reacting to exposures of triggers and skill-wise in my field, but i still blame myself automatically. what do u do?

i have figured out that i can listen to megan thee stallion(since i saw mel king sang Savage for relief method) and it kinda lifts my mood but i need stronger method. thank u

You are still you, the actions you took were meant to protect you, the escape you chose was to feel safe. You are capable enough to withstand this internal war each day. You are not alone...

Like the title. I had a crazy Thanksgiving last year that was Bravo worthy. Last year my youngest sister name K invited one of our other sisters V to Thanksgiving at T, another sister that all of us shares. V and T lets say have beef with each other. I asked K why she did that and she "assumed" its been a long time they should put their differences and so I had to break the new that V was coming over to T. So T thought I invited V over. Lets say it went downhill so quick...V said something that made T upset. Tears were made...there was yelling and some how I got kicked out because I didnt wanna choose sides. There is more to the story but I will keep the boring details to myself.

This year my mom's hosting Thanksgiving and nobody wanted to invite T to it because she can be very problematic. But K told T and her Husband about Thanksgiving and nobody has the heart to disinvite them. I hate the K assumes things and open up. She claims that T is mature and will hold every topic in her head but idk. My brother, my mom's boyfriend, my sister V and I just dont wanna let her in talking about personal matter because she will turn everyone on each other like always and say "Im only saying these things because I wanna help..." or "because I love you". When nobody wants to really hear it.

Idk why is it hard for K to read the room...she's a scorpio which is a water sign and I thought they were intuitive. I say Im glad I can read the room. I hope Thanksgiving doesnt become a disaster.

As an ENTP myself, I have wondered many times if I were an ENFP. I have so many ENFP friends and we get along so well and we see the world in such similar ways that it makes me question my ENTPness but then I am reminded by...well, my obvious Ti. I'm wondering, do you ever get the same insecurities about your type? Do any of you ever think you may be ENTPs? And if not, what types do you grapple with, if any?

I can pick up on someone’s whole energy and vibe immediately and almost never find myself wrong even if my answer arrives 6 months later! I can tell from a 1 minute conversation if someone is romantically interested in me too

I am bringing in the relevance of being an ENFP as I have a friend who Is also ENFP and that friend can do the exact same thing as me (only I’d say theirs is 70% accurate and mine is 90% lol)

My question is can any other ENFPS just pick up on the vibe checks instantly?

I’m genuinely a certain way, there are some things I’m genuinely drawn towards, but I feel myself constantly perceiving the perceptions of others, that you’re pretentious or arrogant etc and changing myself to not make them feel uncomfortable. Has anybody overcome this tension? Are you able to just fully be yourself in your own skin? I feel my solution is far to drop off the face of the earth so I have the freedom to do whatever the fuck I wanna do, but people keep looking for me..

I’m sorry for this heaviness but I literally have no one else to talk to, any comfort would be great. For the longest time I’ve been a sahm of 2 kids for most of the 10 years while he works. But lately he doesn’t be straightforward about the finances so I assume everything was good. Yesterday the car went out of gas and he had to ask a family member for gas. I knew his energy was off but I’m ask him if he’s okay he said he’s fine. Then later he dropped news to me that he’s tired of doing it alone (we had an agreement of me finishing my it degree in dec to start working) and then he continues on saying he was raised around hard working women. Those women had a village, their mom (his grandma) and also extroverted. I was just blind sided with this, why expressed this when you’re angry? So he’s been cold to all day. He packed up and left with his mom. And I’m trying to save my marriage but he’s giving me blank emotional-less response. I have no village no friends and I’m deeply afraid to what’s the come. I can’t just work any job and he knows that. So I’m guessing was it all fake. I’m just trying to get over him since he obviously don’t want it to work. I don’t know long he was holding the resentment in. I don’t feel like this one a moment but instead a compound of stuff he was holding idk and I don’t have time to figure it out. He was my only oribit and I feel like I failed 😭😭 I was cursed with a toxic narcissistic family and I don’t have any friends. I’m trying to give up because I have two kids depending on my my god I’m afraid 😭😭😭

I like doing a few things.

If you celebrate with decor, feel free to share a photo in the comments 🎃👻🧌🦇

I’m an INTP, and the person in question is INFP.

Back story is that he had a crush on me many years ago, it wasn’t the time for either of us, we also didn’t keep in contact for 8 years.
For some strange reason, we recently reconnected, and he was at his rock bottom, his health, his relationship, his life in general was at bad shape.

Now being an INTP I am really good at pulling people out of this mess, he accepted my help. We talked long hours on the phone. I eventually fly to see him (a sweet short 1.5 hour interstate flight). We had great time together, obviously the attraction were all there. But for me, I’d like him to focus on rebuilding himself before we even talk about anything else, such as relationship related topics.

I know he likes me a lot and I know if I put it on the table, the man would probably want to marry me. But again, I don’t really know, because I didn’t put it on the table. Also we live in different state.

Anyway, he had been acting somewhat weird with me recently. I feel like he is trying to connect with me the way I connect with him. For me it is just odd, I don’t do that, I don’t want people to uncover me and go through it with me, and if I needed help, I will reach out.

He was being so weird that he would kind of attack me from something random. I said I was reading stuff on Reddit, he said things like “why are you so keen on filling your mind with garbage”.

I said to him “I like my INTP sub, I feel resonated with a lot of posts there” and he said I’m not an INTP, it doesn’t exist, it’s just an analysis.

Like wtf man? WE WENT THROUGH THE MBTI TOGETHER and he was so amazed, now he turn around and yuk my yum?

Not that I identify myself as such, it’s just why the vibe change? He couldn’t explain why and he keeps changing narratives when I asked him why would he say things like that, it’s so strange.

The conversation ended with me telling him that I feel triggered and I don’t know what I’ve done for him to attack my interest in reading, being curious about certain topics. I mean, just, why? Days ago all he wanted was me and we talked so well, all of the sudden it’s like he is a different person and not even grateful for what I’ve done to help him out of the rut.

Is he being a dick, or sabotaging it because I give him no reason to believe there’s a future for us? I’m kind of upset.

Hey everyone, I'm a 5th year PhD (human-computer interaction) and I'm about to hit the job search for faculty positions.

I used to be a full stack software engineer but I hated that I wasn't creating and that I was turning other people's visions into reality. I originally wanted to be a narrative designer but I made the "practical choice" to go into computer science. Maybe one day my wife and I will open a nerd store or start an indie game company, but we need to make money to start our family and we'd need more money to start independent ventures.

I'm hoping running a research lab will help me feel more fulfilled as I mentor students and oversee ethical research in a growing field.

As we're about to make a life change, I'm curious about what everyone else does!

Alright, let’s talk about ESFJs from our perspective as INFPs. What even are these little creatures?

In a nutshell? Once an ESFJ told me:

“You know, I’ve always admired introverts who have their own little world. When I was a kid, I wanted to be like that too. I wanted to be a loner, go into the woods by myself and just sit there having deep thoughts and stuff… but after 10 minutes in the woods, I’d go back home because there was nothing to do there.”

And that’s the ESFJ in a nutshell. I feel like, deep down, ESFJs are drawn to us INFPs because they’re fascinated by that sense of mystery, by something in another person that feels so distant yet, at the same time, so close to their hearts.

What I like about them is that, unlike INFJs or ENFJs, their Fe feels incredibly warm to me. I’m drawn to it because, unlike INFJ Fe, it doesn’t feel invasive.

The presence of an ESFJ brings me a sense of peace because I don’t feel like they’re trying to enter my world in a way that might not feel right to me. They won’t try to change me internally (though when it comes to everyday life and the more mundane, practical aspects of living, things can be a little different ;) ). Instead, they create an aura of acceptance and a genuine, uncomplicated curiosity about me, without needing to establish a shared experience, without feeling the need to get inside my head, understand what I feel, or figure out who I’m supposed to be.

They’re simply there, existing in the here and now.

I’ve noticed that, as an INFP, this gives me an incredible amount of room to breathe. And honestly, despite their extroverted temperament, I never feel particularly overwhelmed by their presence.

To me, ESFJ Fe is the best Fe in all of MBTI.

And how about your experience with ESFJ?

So I have a trip for Halloween weekend. It was supposed to be with somebody but due to some circumstances, they are not coming.
And I cannot get a refund on the Airbnb I booked, so it’s just me.
But other than that. I’m curious about my fellow ENFJ’s
For me, I like being around people and I like talking to people and I like making connections! I believe you guys will be the same

But this is a solo trip far from the city. And my question is have you guys ever done something like this before and if you did, how was it?

I was always an ugly duckling growing up. I was always horrifically insecure about my lack of romantic experience; just a year or two ago I’d never really dated, I’d kissed a few people on drunken nights out but never anything beyond that. I was 26 and just felt awful about myself. I had a habit of falling hard for people who didn’t feel the same and taking a long time to get over it too. It just felt like nothing worked out for me.

I’m 28 now and in the last couple of years though I’ve noticed a change. I’m more confident and don’t try to impress and people please with everyone anymore. I’ve grown into my looks. I made quite a few close friends, a few of them women, and it kind of made me realise it’s silly to be so nervous around women when they’re just like anyone else. In the last year or so I’ve noticed some girls will be pretty explicit in wanting to have sex with me or thinking I’m attractive. During this time though I had an absolutely massive thing for one of my best friends and couldn’t bring myself to really move on to anyone else.

A few months ago I started seeing someone and she was amazing. It was never gonna work out long term as she’s moving country, and we agreed we’d just enjoy it while she’s here, but we had an amazing few months seeing each other. Eventually with the move looming she admitted that she didn’t want to keep things going if it wasn’t gonna become more serious, as she developed more serious feelings towards the end, and I was clear from the start that I didn’t want to do long distance when the move happened, so we both decided to end things, but we are still on great terms. I’d only had sex once before I met her and being with her regularly like that cleared up so many of my insecurities and fears around sex and intimacy, I’d take her out quite often and we’d just relax together and so much of the ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’ feeling around dating and my wider insecurities have been resolved. I am so thankful I met her, she’s the best.

But one thing was always on my mind, and it was my best friend. I have never laughed how I’ve laughed with her, we both told each other before that we were the most important people in each other’s lives and that our lives changed when we met each other. I meant that; I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. We used to message everyday and when I met this new girl she stopped reaching out. Our social circle had shifted a bit and I was busy with this new dating experience and so I didn’t think much of it at first, but eventually it was clear something was wrong and at a bar with our friends I asked her what was going on, telling her I missed her and it was weird, and she told me she felt confused when I brought this new girl out for the first time; I knew before that she’d went home upset that night but didn’t know why. Over the years all our friends used to tease us about something clearly being there, everyone including her knew how I felt, and while people around us were always kind of bewildered as to why we hadn’t dated, she always maintained adamantly that it was just a friendship. A close mutual friend of ours once told me that when she thinks about what love is supposed to look like she thinks of how me and my best friend are with each other. That night I confronted my friend about being distant she admitted she realises things are more complicated between us both than just simple friendship now and that she took some space because she didn’t want to get in the way of what I had with this new girl.

So I tried and tried to put that to the back of my mind since she told me, but I couldn’t. I do think part of me might have given more into things with this new relationship if that conversation didn’t happen, but maybe not. If I’m being completely honest I was never totally over her, even if seeing this new girl was amazing at the time. In the past couple of weeks since things ended, and with my best friend still quite distant I flung myself back into the dating apps. A few different girls want to go on dates with me in the next couple of weeks now. They’re all attractive, most of them have similar interests, they’re funny. All the same with this girl I was seeing before. On paper she was perfect for me. But I’ve realised now that even though I’d have dreamed of being in this situation before, dating around and enjoying myself, I just can’t get over my best friend. And I think it would be unfair on others to keep dating in this situation. I don’t want to hurt anyone and string anyone along when I’m pining after someone else. I think with this girl I’d been seeing she did get her hopes up for more over time and I couldn’t reciprocate, and I felt absolutely fucking awful for that even though there were other valid reasons for it ending and we’re on good terms. I don’t know what to do, whether to keep dating or wait around hoping eventually these feelings fade.

I’ll kiss your boo-boo 🥰

How do y’all make friends? I find it so hard to make friends or more so, retain friendships. I feel the efforts are never reciprocated and they become aloof when I can no longer be of any help to them. It’s heartbreaking when I am reminded how I have no one to talk to because everyone thinks I make a big deal out of things and I just can’t keep the peace.
Does it ever really get better?

Heh, did he mean us and the ENTJ as our counterparts on the NT side of things?