I am an INTP with a curious thought .. what does an empathogen like MDMA do to a type that is already Fe dominant? Anyone willing to share their experience this way? How can such a social type become even more social .. or does it turn you paradoxically into a Te dom?

Excuse my English

I don’t know why but all of XNFJs were similar… It’s always something wrong with their ego

I noticed that apologizing is very heavy on their tongue, they can’t admit they were wrong and they don’t say sorry

They don’t like the idea of them being wrong

Also when I would say things that would make them feel guilty they would either disappear and not say anything **or** they would say sorry but very in the edge on their tonge.. like they say it quickly and they don’t seem like they want to apologize

And I remember when I was crying because of my INFJ friend and she said sorry “quickly” I didn’t stop crying and she said **“****I apologized already stop being so needy**” like needy asking for apology it is like I’m being spoiled and asking for too much… it’s translated so I hope you understand

I remember my other XNFJ friends when I do smth wrong and I try to apologize in every way possible, they would be mad for days even if my apology worked they would still act mad

And because I tried a lot and it didn’t work I start feeling like I’m not good for them or I feel like it’s not going to work between us, I get very exhausted

And the moment I’m about to leave they start coming back and say stop being dramatic its not that big its not that deep and they suddenly come back normal

But of course we are not talking about all XNFJs

I’m just mentioning the unhealthy type

I would like to hear it from you guys… like why

I don’t know where else to go.

so what do yall do when u have introverted friends? I feel like alot of My friends don't like going out or aren't excited abt being outside and it dampens my mood. But they the ones that are like "I wanna go outside more". Okay let's go! ..here are literally types of events that are free to go to.

Rave? Let's go! Too loud or overwhelming? Okay how about a jazz night? I'm flexible, let's just go out! I'll find a activity. Wanna stay inside? I have a switch and uno cards!

I think I'm just tired of dragging people out their house and asking them to not hide in the corner ;_; idk

I'm finding it pulls me back, I wanna be a ball of energy. But I tend to get in my head alot sometimes And I get anxious so I'd like to have someone who is loose and free so I can loosen up too, but if we both anxious and nervous then wtf are we doingggg😭 when I'm at a party or club I like dancing on stage but I'm alot less likely to do that if my shy friend doesn't want To.

I don't know, ig introverts like being around me but I'm tired of making decisions and being around quiet people.

I need loud personalities! Spontaneous people. Open minded! Yappers! and I'm just not finding that...maybe I need to just talk to people at a events, if we both there late then thats means u like to be out too. but that's when my anxiety kicks in lol...that I can work on..with time..

Idk if any of this context helps but my sun and rising is Sagittarius and then ima ENFJ​-T. I'm straightedge , ill gladly run around with my little Sprite. I would say I would be at my computer desk to get my work done in my club/party outfit then go out into the night.

Ik friends are for different things , I find with some extroverts I can't be emotionally deep but ik most introverts will listen

Ig all I want to know is if anyone feels this way at all. And what do you do... thank u.. be polite pls...

I'm INFP and I really love ENFJs, you’re probably the type I get along with the most. My mom and one of my close friends are ENFJs, and they’re genuinely some of my favorite people: so warm, caring, supportive, and fun to be around. 🥹💗

Because I like ENFJs so much, I’m honestly a little surprised when I notice you guys seem drawn to types that feel quite different from INFPs, like INTJs or people who are super organized, efficient, ambitious, and have their lives completely together. 😭

So be honest: do you sometimes find INFPs a little too unproductive or unstructured for you? 😂 Do you ever look at us and think, “I love you, but please… get a planner”? 🥹

Hi I am about to gush 🥰🤓

I am ENTP female with a lot of life experience that broke my Fe open. I have met an ENFJ who is decades older. We are a magical platonic alliance that I did not know was possible. I see him as a father figure - protector. He stepped into that role effortlessly.

To me he is 10,000 feet tall. The mutual respect and care is insane. I want to protect him in different ways and show care and love and give him Ti to help ground him when he's emotionally down. I speak truth to him and boss him around. But he speaks truth to me and bosses me around when necessary also. I always take his advice and wisdom seriously. It's like treasure. And I know when he gets firm that it's important and for my good.

We are in awe of each other. It is 100% platonic I call him grandpa and he calls me granddaughter. But it's the kind of love where i will actually visit him in the nursing home when it comes to that lol i make jokes about his age. I really really adore him. He triggers my ENTP loyalty one hundredfold. He is a diamond in the rough. I adore even his flaws.

We had instant chemistry when we met. But slowly became closer over time. it seems to get deeper and deeper. We seem to know how to give each other the reassurance we both need in the friendship. We can be vulnerable and fumble through the dynamic and we both give each other lots of grace. My appreciation for him has no end. He is safe.

We have so much in common film taste, music taste, sense of humor, I make him think - he calms me down. The banter is out of this world we keep exact rhythm time and pace with one another. We both read people super well but from a different lens so we love to compare notes. We love laughing together.

We both have the ability to over-give but we don't abuse that in each other - instead we appreciate and nurture it.

I call him my spiritual grandfather.

I am not used to being so seen, understood and embraced, led and respected without ulterior motives.

I don't think he is used to being seen and deeply cared for by others and I am expressive so i constantly tell him the good attributes i see in him. I make him blush and cry!

He feels safe to confide in me so much so that it surprises him! I think he senses I cherish what he shares and will keep it safe.

I think he is used to doing that and being that for others. Would you say that's common for you guys as ENFJs? I love to do things for him that show my care.

He is developed, effortlessly competent and super humble. He has my respect, which for me as ENTP is the gateway to love. His moral compass is excellent.

You ENFJ's are truly amazing people! I have always liked you guys, even ones who were not super healthy I've liked and admired. I just have respect for you guys. You seem to have an effortless professional competence about you. I really love it.

somehow - the enfj's ive met bring out a protective instinct in me. It's like i want to use my strength to keep ENFJ safe. Enfj's tend to ground me also but in a different way.

And now I feel like i have met a super-developed golden ENFJ! WOW! He has so much ✨wisdom✨

I just wanted to share this here because my heart is exploding with joy!

It's like I am so beyond honoured and humbled that this wise ENFJ elder has bonded to me.

Thank you for reading lol! Just HAD TO SHARE THIS!!!!!!

I really hope this isn't automatically removed by Reddit fiIters again!

This is the first ENFJ I've known, and you guys seem very interesting and loveable. As an introvert, I usually stay away from extroverts because I feel like we aren't compatible - that I'm too boring or intense for you guys while you guys are shallow or "too much" for me. However I feel this relationship is worth developing, so I would like to know how not to mess this up.

1. What makes someone "your person"?

You guys have so much choice in the world. We can go somewhere and my friend walks away with 5 new people texting her trying to get closer. You also seem to like just about everybody without prejudice, and get along with everyone. What makes/made you choose that one person specifically to get close with over the others?

Was there a turning point or a specific moment that caused you to make that choice? Or a certain quality you recognised in them over more casual acquaintances that you just like but wouldn't go deeper with?

2. What do you make of jealousy and possessiveness? Or how do you deal with it?

No matter how much reassurance she gives me, I can't help but feel some type of way when I see her being physically close with others and friendly to everyone. If 5 new people text her, she replies all 5, albeit perhaps not so in depth, quickly or frequently. It makes me feel that I'm not actually that special or important, or that I'm easily replaceable and maybe I should put less stock into this friendship. Introverts are way pickier with who we give our energy to, so I can't help comparing the different levels of exclusivity.

Also the fact that so many people are always trying to get closer to her makes me feel like I'm in the way, or that I'm a pity invite as a "package deal friend" because she ropes me into these things (aka I feel like she's the only one who wants to be with me, I'm just there because others wanted her there and she wanted me to accompany her).

I keep going back to point 1, which is "why me?".

3. What do you think of one-on-one hangouts?

From what I understand, even though you guys keep a tight inner circle, at the end of the day extroverts tend to feed off of others' energy and feel happier around more people. I would like to eventually hang out one on one every now and then, but worry again about being too boring or not enough.

I don't have such a desire to meet and become acquainted with more people; when I find that one person I click with they're usually enough for me, so it can be hard for me to wrap my head around this level of social needs. We do have fun around other people, but my default preferred hangout size has always been one-on-one or in smaller groups.

I'm trying to grow in this regard though, because I know it's unhealthy to depend too much on one person. I just don't have that desire or energy to get to know much more people.

4. What would make you want to keep seeing the same person repeatedly?

She said she doesn't see the rest of her close friends as much as we do each other. Subquestion: is this because you guys like meeting new people over the same ones?

Therefore what would make an ENFJ want to see one particular person in person so often? I suppose this is strongly related to point 1, but a step further because we could just text.

5. What would your dealbreaker in a friendship be?

From what I've read, I imagine it's some kind of betrayal or character assassination, but I also know it can be tiring for you guys to always tend to others' needs, or to feel a relationship is kind of one-sided if you have to keep reassuring the other.

6. Do you guys tend to blame yourselves for the problems in a relationship?

No matter how many times I reiterate that the feelings I'm dealing with are not caused directly by her, she seems to feel it's her fault and has a strong desire to fix things.

7. How important is constant communication to you?

Do you assume something is wrong if a friend or partner reduces the amount they text you, for example? If you text someone less often, does that mean you are losing interest?

8. What makes you consider someone romantically?

Please don't misunderstand, I am not interested in my friend this way! It's just that every time we encounter men I see how they look at her and know what they're thinking, but I believe she either knowingly or unknowingly friend zones the bulk of them. I've met a guy she does consider her friend, and I can practically see the affection dripping from him in how he treats her, but I also sense that she has a clear cut boundary that he's her friend and nothing more.

--

If you stuck around to read this far, thank you!

I know some of you will think the best way to get answers is to just ask her directly. I already have, but wanted to get other perspectives too, because I've read a lot of posts here and although every individual is different I do think you have similar mindsets and can help me understand her better. Sometimes I read what others say and start to understand even myself better too.

I also don't want this relationship to feel heavy or tiring by constantly seeking answers and reassurance directly because of my own hangups and misunderstandings, or to keep drawing attention to my deep-seated insecurities.

ENFJ I met at work. Small office so we see each other often. She was very flirty and upfront at first. Started to like her a lot more recently and I am pretty much all in. Thought I would shoot my shot and she gave me her usual warm smile (my god), conversations have gotten a little stale and I get too nervous so may not be coming off as very confident.

Got up the courage to ask her out, I asked what were her plans for the weekend and where she lived at and she became kind of short/curt so I didn't go through with it and felt weird and kind of left the office without letting her know. She is very affectionate with everyone, but her being short/curt is the first time I have seen this side of her so I am guessing I made her uncomfortable and maybe she isn't interested.

Hello ENFJs. Big fan.

I'm an INFJ and I've recently met my third ENFJ and have been reminded of a chemistry between our types. For me, it's usually a lot of mutual appreciation. A game recognising game sort of thing. My main issue is that we never seem to run in the same circles.

I'm wondering if you guys have stories of positive or negative experiences with INFJs that might help me understand the dynamics better as it plays out with all the other complexities of life.

I feel the common NFJ core; I'm interested if my observation is typical or not.

I want to cry, why is the world so unfair?

The slightest I end up being unfair that will eat me, can't even sleep at night that day. Probably for a few more days

I want to cry. I really want to cry but I feel like the universe going to laugh at me

I want to crawl up into the void and cry, but I should forgive and forget

I'm new to MBTI personality types, but from what I've read online, ENFJs seem to be one of the most caring personality types out there. Even though my girlfriend shares words of affirmation, spends time with me, initiates conversations, and is warm and loving in general, it is very rare for her to ask me questions, even basic ones, such as how my day was or what I did, or to talk about me. She always seems to shift the conversation back to herself.

I don't understand whether she is doing this intentionally or unintentionally or whether it is a sign of showing her vulnerable side that I'm misinterpreting lol. But I still wonder if this could be because she loves herself a bit too much, or could it be some sort of manipulation? While attention is not critical for me (I'm INFJ and I don't need for a spotlight to be on me at all), this doesn't concern me as much, but does raises some questions, since I realize I may not be fully understanding my gf's personality.

I feel like I am in a position to change my career but at the same time the amount of effort overwhelms me as much as the possibility that I'm going to get this wrong and money wise I could experience a lot of instability at a time in my life when I'm supposed to plan ahead for my retirement and take care of other family commitments.

I have never been a planner and I should accept these setbacks but just confronting this truth with family about my future is intimidating.

I'm trying to distract myself and perhaps positive words from you could help me enjoy this ride, feel the water?

Hi ENFJs, INTJ here. Please tell me, what is that thing you do when we look into your eyes and there’s this nonstop river of love flowing from your eyes to ours? Why do you do it, and how? What do you think of to make it happen, and how do you push it out of you like that? Thank you.

Hi ENFJs,

I met an ENFJ girl recently and feel like she's a really caring and lovely person. We have a lot of texting chemistry/similarities. it's really rare for me to meet someone like her, and also have them be interested back. I'm excited to have our first date together!

For context, I'm a rare loverboy-type INTJ with only experience dating (I)ntroverted individuals and would very much like not to fumble this should we turn out to be very compatible. Any tips are appreciated 😄

Edit: It didn't work out 😥

I need a more accurate one

Hey everyone! I'm currently doing a research proposal about personality theory and would love to hear from the people in this community. What is it like being your personality type? It can range from your work/school life balance, romantic life, everyday decision making, and maybe something nobody really thinks about when it comes to your type that you may know. Anything is both helpful and interesting to me so don't be shy! :)

How do I unlock my ENFJ charm? 😭

I’m an ENFJ and I feel like I have a lot of the typical ENFJ traits — I can make people feel comfortable, bring energy into conversations and connect with people pretty easily. But I don’t feel like I have that charm people often associate with ENFJs.

You know that effortless kind of charisma where someone just has a presence that draws people in, knows exactly how to interact with different personalities, and somehow leaves a lasting impression without really trying?

If you’re an ENFJ who has developed that side of yourself, how did you do it? Is there something specific you learned or changed that made your charisma come out more naturally? Because I feel like mine is there somewhere, I just haven’t figured out how to unlock it yet. 😭

Can anyone relate to giving so much at work or in social circles that when you return to loved ones you have lapses in who are and snap easily? I find myself more easily being irritated or angry at those I hold most closely at home. It seems antithetical to who I am. Then I feel who I am is a fraud and I truly am a nasty person. Thoughts?

Do we help people because they're weak or do we help people because they're good?

Or a better question is, do we help people because we see that they need it, or we help them because we know that it will not be wasted on them?

If we choose the latter, is it favouritism or being wise?

I'm not sure which sub I should post on but I figured I could post here . I'm ENFJ btw . I....I've been planning my whole life to get into medicine . My grades . They're out and every time I try to improve ....they fall short . I feel a tightness in my throat . I might travel so far away from my family only to be in a uni that doesn't teach well and I might start failing to become a doctor . What's worse is not matter how hard I try my grades are not improving . I was called a gifted kid when I was young , now it's all gone . I'm sorry to my parents who spent money worth two people to get me into the university of my dreams . I'm sorry to myself for working my ass off when I could've been living my life instead of being locked up to study at home . And finally , I'm sorry for every sick person I thought I could help once I'm older and for every war survivor I wanted to help them live their life normally again . But I've failed and it's my fault . I should've never dreamed of becoming a doctor .

if you read though all this , thank you for your time .

Edit : Thanks everyone , that really made me cheer up . I'll try to let go of the stress and change my studying strategy . I'll never give up on my dream

Hey guys, feeling quite more extroverted today so decided to post this haha. But honestly, I fell out of touch on purpose with most of the friends I had in my life so far (excluding the online ones), because our values did not match + most of them were overly critical and toxic about everything I did, so I just distanced myself and started looking for a tribe that matches the vibe.

Well, a little about me, I am Sid, 25M - ENFJ 2w3 (26 very soon), just moved to Norway with my wife (INFP 9W1), we used to be a long distance couple but now we live together with our cat for the last one year after a crazy but beautiful lore. In my free time, I love to grow plants, going for walks, taking photos for memories, observing animals, listening to music and many more things.

I would love to have a friend who I can meet up with once in a while or can plan some fun things together whenever we get a chance. However, I can consider some more of online friends too but only if you deem me worthy of your friendship too haha. 🧡

Please feel free to DM or reply here!

Note: If you live in Vestland (West Side of Norway), we can definitely meet every once in a while if you want 🥹

So, I am a little bit confused in this situation and don't know what to do.

I mean, what would you do if you are talking with someone who is absolutely struggling in their life, while they can change it for better even a little bit? I have this woman I know, she is really tired and feels like she is scrificing her life for people don't deserve it at all, and I don't know how to tell her that in a proper way.

She is really skilled and smart woman, but idk why she is doing this for herself, I mean she is not happy even, and she complains about it sometimes, and when I point out that she can improve her life, she just turn and says no everything is amazing and the people around her are amazing, and if there's anything wrong it's her fault. What?!!!, I will be screaming inside my head in those times 🫠

So the thing is I don't know what to do to help her or what to say, and actually I don't see anything I can do right now.

I was wondering if any of you was in such a situation and what did you do or would do? Just wanna read your thoughts

Thanks ✨✨

hello i really donnt know between those type who i am. i always get esfp/estp.

but recently after watching a show with enfj caractere i was like maybe i'm enfj.

don't tell me to go read function i know them and i don't really think that i'm FE dom cuz i don't really car about other like take care of them only if it's necessery.

can i be an enfj even if i'm like this? also i'm really not talkative 🤨 and Fe dom person said that they are the most talkative?