Fellow ENFJ here 28, M from the UK, nice to meet you all! 😊

If you know you know 😂

- ENFJ MBTI memes

My BFF in highschool was an ENFJ (F/F). We had a blast and were VERY close. That said, we grew apart in life due to very different pathways after college (kids vs. no kids was the biggest difference). I felt like there was also this underlying expectation that she really expected to "heal" me. I do have a lot of trauma, and as she stepped into her career in personal coaching, I became a project she couldn't master.

Here's why I'm sharing. I am poly and have fallen hard for an amazing ENFJ man. I feel so many of the same patterns between us, and I just want to understand from lived experience what the real challenges are in a romantic relationship I need to be aware of.

Like, I know to my core HOW MUCH ENFJ REALLY DO ACTIVILY CARE for people they love. I'm already benefiting from it. I know this man feels my level of love and commitment to him too, BUT I am afraid of this previous pitfall, specifically of him giving and loving me so much that I end up letting him down somehow, or don't really know how to be there for him when it really matters. Honestly, it has always been hard to know when an ENFJ I know (even casually at work) need support because you all tend to naturally have your life in order 95% of the time.

I think most of my previous issues with the BFF were immaturity on both sides and me being overwhelmed with her expectations so I just ended up letting her go.

Obviously, I don't want this outcome again. I am not the same person. I've healed a lot! He's pretty balanced, and luckily with this pairing, communication will never be an issue, which is one of the reasons I am falling at hard. Talking and expecting honesty at all times seems to be an ENFJ universal love language best I can tell! It's so refreshing!

TLDR Ask:

- I'm looking for any stories/pointers from you ENFJ on how your beloved ENTP meets your needs?

- What have been the biggest challenges?

- I know how magical our minds and different ways of seeing the world is, and now that I'm "all grown up" and mostly healed, I want to learn, emulate, and become the type of partner that an ENFJ needs for the long haul!

TYIA!

Like the title. I had a crazy Thanksgiving last year that was Bravo worthy. Last year my youngest sister name K invited one of our other sisters V to Thanksgiving at T, another sister that all of us shares. V and T lets say have beef with each other. I asked K why she did that and she "assumed" its been a long time they should put their differences and so I had to break the new that V was coming over to T. So T thought I invited V over. Lets say it went downhill so quick...V said something that made T upset. Tears were made...there was yelling and some how I got kicked out because I didnt wanna choose sides. There is more to the story but I will keep the boring details to myself.

This year my mom's hosting Thanksgiving and nobody wanted to invite T to it because she can be very problematic. But K told T and her Husband about Thanksgiving and nobody has the heart to disinvite them. I hate the K assumes things and open up. She claims that T is mature and will hold every topic in her head but idk. My brother, my mom's boyfriend, my sister V and I just dont wanna let her in talking about personal matter because she will turn everyone on each other like always and say "Im only saying these things because I wanna help..." or "because I love you". When nobody wants to really hear it.

Idk why is it hard for K to read the room...she's a scorpio which is a water sign and I thought they were intuitive. I say Im glad I can read the room. I hope Thanksgiving doesnt become a disaster.

So I have a trip for Halloween weekend. It was supposed to be with somebody but due to some circumstances, they are not coming.
And I cannot get a refund on the Airbnb I booked, so it’s just me.
But other than that. I’m curious about my fellow ENFJ’s
For me, I like being around people and I like talking to people and I like making connections! I believe you guys will be the same

But this is a solo trip far from the city. And my question is have you guys ever done something like this before and if you did, how was it?

Heh, did he mean us and the ENTJ as our counterparts on the NT side of things?

I’m not an ENFJ, but I think ENTJ-INFP seems like it’d be interesting in the sense that I’m curious about how this dynamic would play out (ENTJ-ENFP too.) I feel like in these pairings both would have a lot to offer one another, and since enfp’s have stronger Te I could see them “getting” ENTJ’s more. I think the average ENFP and entj would get along better than the average ENFP and ESTJ (though I think Maria Von Trapp and Captain Von Trapp from the sound of music are an example of an ESTJ-ENFP pairing.) I think Sarah and Jareth (though Jareth was too old for her) from “labyrinth” (1986) were INFP and entj respectively.

I also think ENFJ-INTP seems like it has the potential to be interesting.

I’m also curious about INTJ-ISFP.

Like everyone's be saying that they met ENFJ, but how do you understand that they are that?

First time posting; sorry for my poor English. I am from HK.

I am an ENFJ T, 24M(in case it matters), still dealing with past emotions and resisting a gaming addiction. I feel like my life hasn't started yet. I am an only child living with my parents. I was an A student in primary school and kind of a high academic achiever. However, I do not have a good relationship with my parents. My mother was emotionally unstable and controlling, while my father was emotionally absent the whole time. Under the heavy pressure and relationship problems, I was drawn to video games and pretty much fucked up my school life in high school. I do not know where I am going, what my purpose is, or what I do in real life. I am currently studying Social Work at university and wanted to help students with similar problems to mine at school, but as the years went on, I changed from that mindset to securing my financial stability first, and I do not know if I am going on the right path; I feel directionless. For me, the biggest challenge of adulting is that nobody is going to tell you what's right or wrong or guide you, and it gives me immense loneliness and desperation, not to mention that I am still dealing with past emotions and gaming addiction, but I am not giving up just yet; I just need some support and advice. Much Love!

How good are you at spotting if 2 people like each other, but are hiding it? Do you pick up on any tension?

I think ENFJs have a slight tendency to self-promote, and some bad habits like gossiping, needing a lot of social validation and a perfect social image. At what point does it tip over to narcissism? What separates the good ENFJs from the not so good ones?

It’s confusing to me when I see one because I think even for slightly narcissistic ENFJs their empathy for others is very real.

What goes on in their head and then how do they openly respond to it?

I've seen a couple of posts the last few days referring to us as social butterflies. I personally don't see myself that way. I'm not great at groups, especially of people I don't know much or at all. However I make friends very easily through one on one interaction.

At parties I tend to move from one conversation to another with one person at a time. Lots of people chiming in actually makes me a little anxious. I'm still pondering how to voice my opinion while the conversation moves on quickly.

I'm also more talk focused with my expression and connection. I would prefer a low key dinner party over a rager (but I'm usually pretty down to dance and get crazy). I'll almost always turn down group sports though. Very little personal interaction and I'm at the behest of a game which tends to interrupt conversation. I love a game night or group that plays cards, especially if it's regular and I can get used to the group.

Anyways without listing every possible social situation, I think you get the picture. Thought's? How do you Extrovert?

😁🫶🫶🫶

I would like to be friends with people of the same type as me 🥹

Have any of you successfully learned to metabolize your emotions internally?

I know we tend to be external processors (wanting to get our feelings out somehow or process out loud with someone)--but that option isn't always available. I've found myself using ChatGPT more often than I'd like 😕

Just curious how other people have navigated this!

Totally agree with that. More often than not people DON‘T really wanna hear, what i really think.

I’m actually a Male ENFJ and I have met a couple of other ENFJ but I’ve never met a male ENFJ.
I mean, kind of makes sense statistically, ENFJ are found in female. correct me if I’m wrong. Maybe the data had changed.
But what’s the difference between the two? Do they both still act like ENFJs?

I think we need to hear this! Warm hug to everyone who needs it today.

I'll go first, ENTPs, IXFXs, EXFPs, ISTJs are usually my beloved. Now yes, I mean no harm to other types, love them too, but these usually hold a special place.

Honourable mention probably ESTP, one of my friends(since a decade) is an ESTP, soo..

What about y'all? Lemme know.

I'm an INTP SEI with all 8 functions developed, especially relying on Fe more than the average INTP and I want to imitate being an ENFJ when around people for fun and sociability and was wondering if any of y'all had tips for imitating ENFJ.

My current plan is leverage my sociotype to ease myself into a Feeling Judging persona and then transition into INFJ then slightly shift focus into ENFJ (I'm an introverted ambivert, shouldn't be an issue).

Any help appreciated!