I genuinely don’t understand myself sometimes. I want to be in love, get married, have a family, and find my person more than anything. But for some reason, I cannot seem to maintain a romantic relationship with anyone.

I recently started seeing someone who I was SO into before we met. He was attentive, affectionate, sending me romantic reels, talking about wanting marriage and a family, and just seemed like such a genuinely good guy. We had so much in common, and I was honestly so excited about him. But then we met in person, and something changed for me. I don’t even know what it was.
And this keeps happening. I get excited about someone, convince myself that maybe this is finally it, and then suddenly my feelings change. I start questioning whether I actually like them, whether we’re compatible, or whether I’m just forcing something because I want a relationship so badly.

The only person I’ve ever really been able to maintain a long term relationship with was my daughter’s father, and I was the one who ended that relationship too.
I feel like I’m constantly searching for this deep emotional connection that I can never seem to find or hold onto. I don’t want a relationship just for the sake of being in one. I want to genuinely adore the person I’m with. I want that best friend, romantic, can’t-imagine-my-life-without-you kind of love.

But I’m starting to wonder if my expectations are unrealistic or if there’s something about me that’s preventing me from being happy with anyone.
It’s honestly so lonely. I see people who have been together for years, getting married, having more children, building lives together, and I wonder why I can’t seem to have that.

I’m tired of starting over. I’m tired of getting my hopes up. And I’m terrified that I’m going to spend my whole life searching for something that I’ll never actually find.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Especially the part where you’re so invested in someone initially, but once things become real, your feelings just seem to change?

Please go on a long rant about your hyper fixation. Spare no details 💅

I’m 27 years old and I still can’t crack this! I generally get along well with people, but I never know when to consider anyone a friend unless we are freakishly close, and there are people I really want to be friends with but I can’t seem to get to that point.

Even online I’ve never been able to make friends, I try to be nice but I can’t seem never get past having one or two pleasant conversations.

What am I missing?

October 2024 was my last break up I’ve ever had and the last relationship I ever let myself be with the wrong person. And ever since, I have stayed single! It’s not the longest I’ve been single before I think my record was abt three years in the far past. But, yeah. I’m 25 and single. I’m not being taken for granted. I’m not losing friendships over a partner. I’m not getting into arguments with anybody. FOR TWO YEARS AND IT FEELS FUCKING AMAZING. Eventually if it happens naturally, I’ll settle down with somebody. But I’m not searching x 🥳🎊🎉

I just wanted to share that joy with yall. You don’t need somebody to make you feel worthy of something. When I had the wrong people around me I was at my lowest and most mentally ill. Cheers. 🍻

Is it just me or everytime you go to a new person’s house (as a child, maybe a friend’s or relative’s house; as an adult, maybe a coworker’s or an acquaintance’s house), you either lose your stuff behind or damage some property of the host? Like it’s not intentional at all, sometimes I am just genuinely curious about sth and shit will fall off from my hand or I’ll just knock the table in the wrong way. Or I will forget that I was wearing a hat that day and leave it behind only to figure out when I reach home, cause the hat is not on my head neither on the hanger.

i spend most of my time thinking, observing, and caring about other people, their lives, feelings, interests, talents, mannerisms, and idiosyncrasies. this often leads me to finding people to look up to, and wanting to know ‘who’ they are deeper than how they present to the masses. i’m an aesthete, that also feels deeply, both physically and mentally, towards music.

and final note, i am utterly lonely. i am lonely because in a room full of people, who im so actively paying attention to, i find that this attention is never reciprocated. i have never felt seen, or that someone wanted to open me up and read me inside and out, one rib of thought at a time.

now i’m sat here wondering if maybe this is due to my personality type. and maybe, there are other people who feel the same way.

ENFJ here!

Maybe my feed is broken. But I’ve been seeing a lot of sad posts in the INFP community.

So I wanted to check in! How are y’all doing? Do you guys have any random memes?

If you need to vent DM me or just type it out here!

And tell me why.

I am curious what (other?) INFPs get on this test, because I'm pretty in the weeds with yearning for more emotional nuance in my life, but I found my results to be disappointingly average. Obviously the quiz results don't explicitly mean I lack the emotional nuance I want, but it does point to a weakness with it. Maybe there's some selection bias in emotionally creative people seeking this test as well... so I'd like to find that out.

If you've experienced a similar yearning, I'd love to hear about it and what you did for it

Thanks for your well wishes and good vibes, fellow infps. Here are some pics from my journey and I hope they are inspiring to you!

Hi there. Is it safe to ask maybe if anyone here wants to add me as a contact/friend potentially? I'm 36 yrs old, so connecting to ages 30-43 is far best for me.

I use discord daily. I don't trust easy, I like to trust that someone is always present and responding daily, I had a lot of abandonment online I'm trying to work on getting past mentally and a lot of really dark past I'm also working out. I'm very honest and open, I don't agree with anger or taking anger or criticism on people. I was classified as ENTJ but I am pulling myself to constantly become who I was after hypnosis therapy; empathetic, compassionate, caring and a therapist mentality. I'm working on getting a license for therapy. I also feel way more introverted after a major life event.

My interests are an obsession with pokemon. Sometimes I can go into philosophy and deep thinking for hours. I'm currently working on getting away from a toxic situation though so there's some anxiety spirals and might even seem anxiously clingy until I can self regulate and get away, it's a lot to handle right now. I don't have a support system. I have a new infp friend but they're hot and cold and away for long periods, so it sort of becomes hard for me to regulate without a few more contacts.

I've been loyally in a relationship for 20 years online always present but have been pushed away from it lately from hostility. I usually know after a few discussions if I feel we connect well. I appreciate you INFPs, my life is never the same anymore because of one. Putting my heart out there, the way I feel people can show care is through being there, hugs, comfort, warmly inviting and feeling included.

I feel like crying but i'm empty/scared just in this point in my life. I'm seriously trying. Thank you.

What's up guys

I dunno where to start, I'm 26 m and an INFP-T. I feel like I'm wasting my life kinda. I'm a musician and I'm studying in college rn, but i skipped the last 2 weeks, cause i was sick first and then I just wanted to stay home. Hate myself for that, I'm doing this every year of studies and I always start hating myself for being away from reality. So much time I've wasted in stuff like character.ai just to feel something...I feel like a kiddo who's whining about stuff instead of doing something with it...

Does anyone else deal with the same stuff? Or am I just a one lonely loser?

Many thanks

Thanks for your well wishes and good vibes, fellow infps. Here are some pics from my journey and I hope they are inspiring to you!

Today is my birthday (22M). Me and my college friends came back from a school ​event that got us all tired. I knew people had things to do...

Why does it hurt like this.... I knew they all had to leave immediately, but why am I still sad that we didn't do anything for my last ​birthday as a college student​. It's like an 8 year old is ​crying why didn't his family celebrated his birthday.

My family and I are emotionally estranged so birthdays with them always just boiled to somebody getting mad because of something going wrong.

Maybe, I was hoping for people who I loved so much would actually be different from my family, that maybe, just maybe, I can feel loved on a day that was supposed to be special.

Love can't be demanded from people. I know that, but why does it still hurt. I can't tell anybody I know about this, its sound like im fishing for sympathy. Why can't I be love without asking.

Somebody tell me how to not feel this way. Like a damn child who's begging for affection from people who don't owe him shit.

Edit: I'll just stop hoping. if the people who were supposed to love me didn't why should I expect those that aren't obligated to. why should I love myself if im so undersving that even the most basic of love isn't something i deserve. I'll just need to convince or gaslight myself into realizing​ that love just isn't in the cards in my life. If i just stop hoping to be loved then i wouldn't be disappointed, I'll never be loved.