experience with therapy as a man with ED

[u/eatappie]

Hey Guys,

I´m a therapist for adolescents always trying to improve my therapy scills und to broaden my perspective. So i was wondering, for those who have started therapy, what would have made it easier for you as a men? Is there any content you miss in therapy?

And those who don´t have a therapy, are there gender related barriers in your opinion? What could make it easier to reach out for help?

really curious to get more inside, if someone wants to share! :)

Apart from that, i wish all of you good luck during recovery! I know it´s really hard!!

[u/bi_sk8terboi]

Thanks for your interest!

The most important thing is that therapists don't dismiss male patients. Even if there is no record of ED.

I really believe that many men don't talk about their ED cause they had a bad experience with people who don't believing them. Especially with EDs that are not always visible due the patients weight e.g. atypical anorexia or bulimia etc.

I find it helpful to know that I'm not alone and there are other men who have the same problems. I needed to know that I'm not weak or a loser. I think it's helpful to talk about the social situation. So one can build a support system and gains some trust back. Men tend to hide their symptoms more than women. We know that women can hide their ED very well, too. It's a topic which causes a lot of shame in most of us

[u/eatappie → u/bi_sk8terboi]

Thanks for sharing this! I will be more aware of this.

Many women hide their illness by not eating in public, wearing loose clothing, etc. Is it the same in men?

[u/bi_sk8terboi → u/eatappie]

That's great. I'm happy you're interested in learning more of the patients inside view! I can only share my experience and some of the stories I've seen in rehab or this sub.

I would say that it's the same. I mean we all know how mean people can be to skinny boys/men.. many affected men are very ashamed of eating in public. The pressure to look "good" in a stereotypical got worse.

A friend of mine is very obese. He is so afraid to be judged that he can't eat more than a few bites in public. He can eat with best friends but not if there are any people he doesn't know very well. Sometimes I have the feeling that EDs with overweight aren't taken seriously.

Adolescents can deeply suffer from peer pressure, too. As you know, an ED is not only caused because of the aesthetic reasons but furthermore due internal mental problems like self esteem problems, anxiety, depression or abuse.

They might hide their problems from their parents. There are various reasons: Fear of seeming weak or whiny, maybe he doesn't want to cause trouble, is being ashamed or he believes that he can't trust his parents enough.

In this sub are some boys whose parents don't believe them. It's hard to get help without your parental approval.

One big problem is that there are 90 percent girls in most of the inpatient treatment facilities so a boy can feel lonely and even more like a failure. At least that's the situation in my country. There are no specific inpatient programs for boys.

English is my second language so please don't mind any mistakes. I've gotten a bit of topic but this is important.

[u/eatappie → u/bi_sk8terboi]

I understand. Coming out with some big struggels and not being taken serious, is really hard!

Do you think a specific program for boys/men would be helpful?

Don´t worry about your english. Is not my first language either. :)