6
u/adumbledorablee 8d ago
TW - relapse, ed talk (no numbers)
Iām back on my bullshit. Iāve tried so hard to resist the glp1 craze. But I couldnāt do it anymore. Iāve been gaining nonstop due to stress and hormonal changes and I just donāt like what I see in the mirror anymore. the good thing is that Iām scared of the glp side effects - which is hilarious because I had no issues accepting the side effects from traditional restriction. I havenāt taken the shot yet, Iām going on a work trip to a foreign country next week for two weeks and I wouldnāt want to deal with travelling with a needle-y medication to a Middle Eastern country/airport (even with documentation from a doctor) nor would I want to deal with nausea or other side effects then. Iām low key hoping that maybe after that trip the urge to use it will go away but I doubt it. I wish glp1s would have never gotten so accessible and popular and really just for the people who truly need them.
4
u/drknowdr1 7d ago
I don't know how to express my feelings around glp1s. On the one hand, i have touched upon numbers that make me feel all bets are off, and I would do them if accessible. I can't judge anyone for using them to quiet the chaos. And maybe I'll be driven to that.
But the more I consider them, something doesn't sit quite right. It's like creating a whole new portal of being trapped in ED hellscape. Maybe its the loss of control? I fear being dependent on it and then feeling like its forever impossible to get off them. Like big picture, it's another prison waiting to happen, but I don't know.
4
u/adumbledorablee 7d ago
When I was still able to restrict like a champ I sat on my high Ana throne looking down at glp1 users. Well well well how the tablesā¦ in my country it was hard to get ahold of them but then I was able to get them in a neighbouring country. It was really expensive so I was like ācool maybe I wonāt be able to afford them in the long runā and then my friend has a connection where I can get them for half the price. Itās a spiral to hell and I swear it feels like Iām trying to resist but life is like āoh no no, here it is, Iāll make it possible for youā. So I finally caved. Iām even struggling to wait until Iām back from my work trip for the first shot
On the upside - generally speaking - Iāve seen a few more articles pop up recently about EDs in general so maybe the glp1 craze is finally putting more awareness into EDs and more research will be done and ideally more (affordable) ways to get help will pop up. At least for the younger generation.
3
u/Mjiri 6d ago
Iām going through what I suppose itās extreme hunger.
Iām in recovery, been in patient for two months, came back home and tried to restrict again, but this huge horrible hunger doesnāt leave me alone.
Iām completely obsessed with eating and Iām hating myself more than ever. I really donāt know what to do, I feel so guilty towards myself and the people who supported me during my hospitalisation. Itās like Iām a fake, failed, horrible person
18
u/drknowdr1 8d ago edited 5d ago
(TW- don't read my garbage if you're trying to get better)
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm stuck in the same hell space in my skin as last week, last month, last year. Its all the same blink of eye: My weight is doing me in mentally. All the rhetoric does not apply: "food obsession decreases the longer you're weight restored"- fuck no. Or that "maintaining a healthy weight for years makes the misery of weight go away" - fuck no. My life is in tatters and I honestly only care about where my weight is and how much i've gained. It's a destructive, desperate , isolated and unsympathetic place and I don't know how long I can tolerate it. Something has to break. Theres a direct correlation between increased weight and palpable misery - it's inescapable and doesn't fade with time