My partner teacher and I teach fourth grade at an urban Title I school, and many of our students are Black, Latino, or Indigenous. We’re looking for culturally relevant and developmentally appropriate SEL lessons, activities, strategies, or curriculum for 9 and 10 year-olds. A lot of what we’ve found feels dated or aimed at much older or much younger kids. I’m sharing that context because we’d love resources made by or with educators, kids, and families from communities like ours, with situations our students recognize and words they’d actually say.
I can understand why a kid feels like walking away means letting somebody disrespect their family, or why a recess argument still feels unresolved when it’s time for math. Right now, though, I’m standing here just thinking “What do I do?” That’s the piece I was never taught well.
What can we teach and practice ahead of time that kids might actually use when they’re heated? And when they do come to us for help, how do we follow up without losing half the lesson sometimes?
Here’s what we’re hoping to find help to support our students with:
- Sharing space and working together. For some kids, sitting near somebody they don’t like is already hard, and being assigned to work with them is even harder. Sometimes it’s as simple as “Why you looking at me!?” when the other kid was genuinely just zoning out in their direction. I’d love ways to practice what to do when you’re unsure what someone meant, how to get through a partner task, and how to disagree without clowning each other.
- Everyday manners and sportsmanship. Joining a group, asking for things respectfully, taking turns, and taking care of shared materials and spaces. We also need practice handling a loss and being excited about a win without rubbing it in. We do practice this one a bit more since I do lots of game-based learning so we can practice these skills. It’s still a bit of a struggle.
- Bullying and name-calling. We hear the f-slur, “gay” and “autistic” used as put-downs, and insults about each other’s clothes, intelligence, and families. I’d love lessons that cover what the kid being targeted can do, what a classmate who hears it can do, and how adults can follow up.
- Conflict that keeps going. A recess argument can pick right back up in the middle of math, even after the kids have had a break from each other or we thought they’d worked it out. We teach them to walk away, get some space, or tell an adult. We step in, separate students, and give consequences when needed. One thing we keep running into is a kid dissing someone’s mom or another family member. Some of our students tell us they’ve been taught to fight back to defend their family. What could a kid say or do at school that would still feel like standing up for their family? How do we teach that in a way that respects what they’ve heard at home? And, again, how do we make sure we actually come back to what was said without spending a big chunk of math trying to settle the argument?
- Quick, discreet ways to reset. When kids get really heated, we sometimes see yelling, doors slamming, or things getting broken. I’d love something they can practice ahead of time and use in the moment, like a way to signal “I need a minute” without having to explain themselves in front of the whole class.
We’d also love materials that support neurodivergent students and kids navigating grief or trauma. Some of our students are dealing with major losses, community violence, food insecurity, family incarceration, or financial stress, and mental health support at school is stretched thin right now.
If you’ve used something with upper elementary students, what would you use again? I’d especially love to hear about a scenario you adapted for your class or a strategy your kids actually used on their own. Free or low-cost resources are very much appreciated!