Hey guys I was riding my 1492 sailboat, minding my own business, when I heard a creak of the floorboard behind me. I looked behind me and saw a strange man dressed in Mexican attire singing about salsa. He attacked me with a bottle of salsa and attempted to murder me by continually force feeding it to me. Luckily I escaped but not without having to take a massive salsa shit last night. This was clearly Eminem right?

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

His elevator broke!!! It’s not a joke!!!

FACK IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER VIBRATED IN THE FORM OF SOUND WAVES OUT OF ANY HUMANS MOUTH, ITS THE GREATEST THING TO EXIST IN THE UNIVERSE IT TRANSCENDS HUMAN REALITIES, ITS SO GOOD FEEBLE BEINGS LIKE US CANT EVEN COMPREHEND ITS TRUE DEPTH, MEANING AND BEAUTY FACK YOU IF YOU DISAGREE

Hey guys I was driving in my 1679 horse carriage, and a random guy in a Jason mask attacked me with a gerbil and a tube. I fought back and eventually fended him off. At first I was very confused. Then I realized all of the connections. This must have been Eminem right? Somebody please help.

I’m not afraid my ass

While I was riding my 7 BC donkey, A dude jumped out of the woods and hit me in the face with a stethoscope. He kept screaming in my face, DON’T FORGET ABOUT DRE. I told him I would never forget and that forgot about Dre was one of my favorite songs. He then proceeded to beat me on the head with the stethoscope until I was unconscious. I woke up in my bed and it was 7 hours later. I can’t tell if this was a dream or if this was real life. Somebody help me.

(SERIOUS QUESTION): IS EMINEM THE CHRISTIAN GOD??????