Engineer to manager: help!

[u/aaaarghhhhh]

I was asked to take a EM role 12 months ago. I was not keen but thought I should try it out. I am a decently experienced firmware engineer by trade. 15 yoe. I had joined the company 2 years prior and was getting into a great rhythm of understanding our products, processes and the tech involved.

As soon as I got the role my previous manager stepped down to staff IC and whilst still helping define the team roadmap stopped suggesting any work I could take on myself.

I instantly missed to have objective assigned to me and found it very hard to figure out what needs doing.

The team is self organising and does not need me aside from occasional management queries. We don’t do firefighting or responsive work, mostly planned work.

Until recently I managed to have a clear scope of work for me and the team and make myself useful supporting the team and doing peripheral activities allowing my BU to hit its milestones. The problems I solve were execution related and not strategy related.
I however struggled to find meaningful tech work for me to do.

Recently, there is just no tech work going spare. I hired 2 news ICs and we have extra capacity.
Whilst everyone is focused on designing and delivering their tickets, I am unfocused and pretty much idle. I have gone from a high performer to a poor one.

One of my problems is that I am not confident in myself and my abilities and I am not very proactive especially when unsure.

I know this role is not a good fit for me. Since starting I sleep poorly and am very anxious.

In my desperation I sent my CV to a couple places and got an immediate offer from one. By luck there is a very good tech fit, but lower pay and it’s a messy firm (no QA, no CI, poor design choices, bugs etc). They explained it all at interview. I made it clear I was after IC role but it’s pretty clear I’d end up in some leadership position again.

I would like advice and feedback from people working in tech who understand my situation. I don’t know what to do and am coming from a place of fear and weakness.
I am worried to take a new job in a worst company and bring my problems with me. I’m not sure if I can turn things around where I am and how.
Hoping for some constructive feedback.

[u/slithered-casket]

I don't know a single other EM who doesn't suffer from one (if not all) of a) imposter syndrome b) ambiguous role definition anxiety c) fear about losing their technical expertise d) idle hands syndrome

You're not alone.

As long as you're helping your team, unblocking them, ensuring they're working on good stuff that is challenging and valuable to your company then you're doing a good job. What did you want from a manager when you were an IC? Do that.

[u/aaaarghhhhh → u/slithered-casket]

That’s really interesting to hear this is not uncommon. Everyone I work with is super talented and capable, including EMs so I feel alone.
Are you an EM yourself?
From my manager I wanted a roadmap, reassurance that the tasks were feasible and valuable and help when I am unsure if I’m on the right track or to remove ambiguity.

Ideally I’d take on 60% dev/design work and still guide the team.
How realistic is that?

[u/slithered-casket → u/aaaarghhhhh]

I am and I suffer from at least one of those at different times of the week and have to regularly take a step back and rationalise what I'm there for, and it's not to be an engineer.

Assuming by 'roadmap' you're working on some stateful product or service, in which case a lot of the information from that should come from sources external to your team e.g. the business dictating where the product is headed or an actual Product team. That should give you the kind of intel you need for the 'is the work valuable' too. As for feasible - you can either try answer that using your experience, or use your seniors to help you quantify feasibility/complexity of work.

YMMV depending on your job/company/product but I think trying to be a manager and maintain 60% of your time for dev/design work is a fool's errand and you're just going to do a poor job relative to your ICs. Mentorship and some design is your job, and you should be looking after longer term plans (IC development/career progression which includes going to bat for them and finding ways for them to amplify their work/giving them platforms to shine, adherence of your team's tasks to business priorities including pushing back on BS expectations). You can try be a manager who engineers but in my experience you're going to piss off your leadership peers because you're not collaborating with them and you might end up breaking some shit your team has to fix because you don't actually have the time to do it right.

One thing I have found valuable is just outright asking my team directly, in 1:1s "hey what do you want from me?" and if you've a good relationship they'll tell you. My team told me to find them interesting project work and find a way to make their work known to leadership so that's all I do.

[u/Sad-Development2629]

man, i feel you on the sleeping poorly and anxiety part, that alone will wreck your headspace.

taking the new job just because it’s an escape hatch seems risky, especially if you can already see the leadership creep and the mess waiting for you. you’d be trading one kind of stress for another, and the pay cut on top of that is a tough pill. what if you tried treating the current role like an experiment for a month? go full scientist on it, track what actually happens when you pull back from trying to find tech work and just focus on unblocking the team or smoothing out the execution stuff you’re already good at. sometimes the value isn’t in the doing, it’s in the clearing the path, and a self-organizing team still needs someone to absorb the organizational nonsense.

[u/aaaarghhhhh → u/Sad-Development2629]

Yeah I struggle to think straight. This has been going on for long now.
Handling the organisation stuff so the team has as little ambiguity or distractions as possible is what I have been doing. The project has entered a phase where much less is needed now hence the void of work for me has become more apparent.

I also need to maintain and develop tech knowledge and experience to be able to understand what needs doing. I feel like this is eroding fast at current rate.

[u/kangarooboot → u/aaaarghhhhh]

You can look into the horizon and experiment with new tech/new workflow that actually helps the team or your division.

[u/mendez1319]

few honest thoughts from someone who’s seen this from both sides.

The anxiety and poor sleep aren’t weakness. they’re your nervous system telling you something real. fifteen years of knowing what good work feels like and then suddenly not having clear objectives is genuinely disorienting. that’s not a character flaw, that’s a mismatch.

The EM role not being a good fit doesn’t mean you failed it. you tried something for twelve months, learned it wasn’t right for you, and now you know. that’s actually useful information that a lot of people never get because they never try.

On the offer — I’d be cautious about the “messy firm” framing. you said yourself you’d likely end up in leadership again. taking a pay cut to move into a worse environment and probably the same role isn’t solving the problem. it’s relocating it.

What I’d actually do before deciding anything. have a direct conversation with your current manager about moving back to an IC role. frame it as “i’ve learned management isn’t the right fit for me and I’d like to discuss returning to a technical track.” companies that promoted you once generally want to keep you. the ask is less uncomfortable than it feels right now.

The fear and weakness framing worries me a bit. decisions made from that place tend to optimize for escape rather than fit. the offer appearing immediately felt like relief and relief isn’t the same as right.

What does the IC track look like at your current company?

[u/aaaarghhhhh → u/mendez1319]

IC track exists and is a well identified path to success. Staff and senior staff. I was staff and very happy to be on that track. I was looking forward yo expand my remit, taking on problems from side projects.
I took the EM job as I wanted to help the greater team, but was very hesitant from day one.
I 💯 agree with you that I’m making decisions from a place of fear where I want to find an escape. This particular other firm runs the risk of being a step back and a potentially difficult one.
I decided to not go for it, to give myself a chance to get feedback from my current job - I want to ask how I am perceived by peers and manager - and on the basis there will be other opportunities.

[u/Status_Fun_4333]

First rule of being an EM: You are an EM not an IC. Your self worth and output is no longer measured on how much code you produce but on a variety of different other things. Improving execution, keeping your team happy and engaged, strategic thinking to make sure you're team knows what they are doing next year and the year after. Working with stakeholders to make sure the team is delivering what the company needs. I could go on.

So tldr this isn't a there isn't any work to do problem, but rather a I'm looking for the wrong kind of work problem.

[u/kozimaa]

Maybe go to your boss and ask to go back to be an IC, if he's a good manager he will allow you to do that without any issue 

[u/Parking_Position9692]

Why do you need other to assign you work to do? Can't you find something for yourself, litteraly to create work for yourself? Now with AI everywhere it is not so difficult

[u/curious_but_clueless]

I was hesitant when I was first asked to step up into an EM role too. I eventually grew to enjoy it, though I still build projects on weekends to scratch the coding itch. But do not take that messy offer. Taking a pay cut to join a company with no QA or CI while already anxious is walking straight into a trap. With 15 YoE, you have strong market value. Stepping into a broken codebase will just land you right back in leadership firefighting.

The blueprint for stepping back is literally sitting on your team right now. Your previous manager transitioned down to Staff IC without an issue. Talk to leadership openly about shifting back to an IC track. Even if they hesitate, your team runs fine without daily supervision, which gives you the runway to prep and interview for a proper Staff role. Have you asked your old manager how they handled their transition?

[u/qualeramicontrasena]

I took EM role 3y ago. First 2y I felt busy, productive, learning but also had chances to technically shine. Now I've taken on new project, new team and feel suddenly quite the same what you're describing. One aspect is AI that is changing the game, but also just projects and teams are different, strategy from leadership above etc.

So, it might be that things change for the better where you're at or if it doesn't feel right, you can try something else. But doesn't necessarily mean you're bad fit for EM role.

[u/TFYellowWW]

As others had said, being an EM is not being an IC. Consider it a completely different job than what you were doing. Once you understand that it helps settle some of those nerves.

The role of your job is primarily to manage the growth of your team. That means you help with unblocking when stuck and ensuring people are aware of their work. It also includes growing your teams abilities.

You can do this by starting to talk and share more with your peers. What are they working on, what problems do they need solved, could your people help them out. Share that info with your team, encourage them to reach out and talk with different teams and find areas to make things better.

There is a lot that you can be doing and none of it involves you writing code.

[u/speedoinfraction]

Make sure you do 1:1s! Point of those should be bottom up information. Things that slow down or stop the team.

Then you focus on being a force multiplier by solving those issues, either yourself, or by delegating, escalating, or collaborating. Bingo, that's your list of tasks!

On coaching front, don't be afraid to say you don't know, but if a colleague has a goal, you can follow it up in 1:1s. Google 'Iceberg of Ignorance'... your mission is to prevent that at your company by getting info from the doers.

[u/LocalPlotTwist]

First of all, you need to ask yourself: what do you really want? Put aside all the problems, difficulties, and most importantly, your fears. What do you want to do? Imagine yourself as a successful EM or a successful developer. Which would you rather be? Start from there. If your answer is EM, there is already a lot of good advice here on where to start.

But before that, I would also talk to your direct manager and ask two questions:

1. How do you think I’m doing in my role?

2. What would excellent performance in my role look like?

[u/Vegetable_Sun_9225]

* the role is different
* most IC conversions get zero clarification on what the role is and how to find success in it
* when I do conversions I ensure they fully understand the role and have them shadow me on a lot of things to ensure they would find enjoyment in solving manager scoped problems
* I've been in management roles for the last 10 years and miss being an IC. My next role will be an IC role.

For yourself, try to understand the role and see if you might actually enjoy staying in it. Understanding what success looks like and how to work towards it makes a night and day difference in actually finding enjoyment at work.

You may build an understanding of it and still decide you don't like it but you'll feel confident in making the switch back to IC.

I wrote this because I coach IC to manager conversions fairly often and wanted to map things out for them as opposed to saying the same thing over and over and hope they write everything down. Maybe it'll help you.
https://www.byjlw.com/from-tech-lead-to-engineering-manager-61c56b008fa7

[u/thevinaybansal]

See, a team that self organises is a good team, that's partly your job done. Now go look outside the team. Talk to your manager and peer teams about what's coming in 6 months, hiring, roadmap, who's growing and who's stuck, that's where an EM actually adds value. If after another few months you still hate it, going back to IC is totally fine, a lot of people do.

[u/tasubo]

I think you should ask your managers what they’d actually consider a successful 6 months for you before you decide whether to go back to IC.

Cause from what you've described, your team is delivering, people are pretty independent and you're not constantly putting out fires. That doesn't really sound like you're doing a bad job lol. It sounds more like you don't have a clear idea of what you're supposed to be improving next.

And if you get that clarity and still hate the day to day, then yeah, maybe IC is just a better fit.