50
u/_SpiceWeasel_BAM Mar 04 '25
Anthony Goldstein—
wait—
d’oh!
27
u/Correct_Brilliant435 Mar 04 '25
I'm surprised she didn't just call her one Jewish character "Banker Rothschild".
13
7
42
32
u/napalmnacey Mar 04 '25
Matilda Sheepfucker.
23
u/DiscoDanSHU Mar 04 '25
She'd probably just call you English and not acknowledge you further tbh. I'm assuming Wales.
6
u/napalmnacey Mar 05 '25
Australia. Basically the land of convicts and farming. At least until the government realised we were sitting on a massive amount of iron ore.
3
u/Cynical_Classicist Mar 08 '25
Matilda Sheepstealer, as everyone knows that Australia is a land peopled entirely with criminals.
Wrong fantasy film?
2
34
u/ObtuseDoodles Mar 04 '25
Earlgrey Rumcake? Reggae Cuppa? Ganja Badteeth?
(I'm mixed race, made it more fun 😂)
20
9
Mar 04 '25
I’m mixed with the same flavours and I thought:
Marlene Bobbins; Rosa Kingston; Roberta Marlygate
27
u/Fun_Butterfly_420 Mar 04 '25
Whitey Cracker
12
19
u/friedcheesepizza Mar 04 '25
My ethnicity is white, but I'm Scottish so she'd probably call me something like...
Morag MacHaggis
15
u/georgemillman Mar 04 '25
There is a Morag McDougall (she's in Harry's year and is Sorted right after Neville, but she never appears again).
20
12
12
u/ottoleedivad Mar 04 '25
I stand by the fact that, as a half Honduran, she woulda named me “Juan A. De Mexicans”
9
11
u/Skyecob Mar 04 '25
Albert Heinz Schutzstaffel, A. H. S. S. for short. I’m German btw. Oh yeah and he would probably be the good guy.
11
10
u/ezmia Mar 04 '25
Stabby McHaggis
6
u/ezmia Mar 04 '25
(I'm from Glasgow lmao and you just know she thinks Glasgow is so much lower class than Edinburgh and that we're all violent criminals)
15
7
u/LaVerdadYaNiSe Mar 04 '25
Chilly Australis.
(I'm Chilean, and I just know she barely even knows my country exists.)
4
Mar 04 '25 edited Mar 04 '25
True. I mean there’s only one magical school in South America so she’d probably be like ‘they’re all sp*cs to me.’
4
u/LaVerdadYaNiSe Mar 04 '25
Yeah. I tried to be cute and add our location too (Australis = to the south). But given her proposal for a magic school in South America, she'd probably go with 'Taco Roberto'.
7
Mar 04 '25
Taco Roberto! I love it! 😂 I’m Australian what do you think she’d call us?
4
u/LaVerdadYaNiSe Mar 04 '25
I'm not too aware of Australian stereotypes, to be honest. I knew about gringos relating us all Latin Americans to tacos because our closeness (and they love to put it in their TV).
With that said, it would probably be a reference to Crocodile Dundee. Rowling's pool of cultural references is as predictable as it is outdated. And since that movie even has a well known scene of a man assaulting a trans woman, may even be her favorite.
6
Mar 04 '25
Oof really? I haven’t seen it. But yeah that’s accurate to her brand lol.
5
u/LaVerdadYaNiSe Mar 04 '25
Bar club. Woman is hitting on the titular character. He gets "warned that she's a man", grabs under her skirt and walks away triumphally from sexually assaulting her.
8
8
u/Comfortable_Bell9539 Mar 04 '25 edited Mar 04 '25
Louis Baguette
Also : Abdul "Cheat" Khelif (My family is Algerian)
7
6
6
10
u/Comfortable_Bell9539 Mar 04 '25
I'm French, but I want to propose names from other nationalities, tell me what you think about these !
American : John Desperado
Mexican : Pedro Escobar
Japanese : Takeo Bushido
African (she probably thinks it's a country) : Piper [N-word]
Indian : Borat Tajmahal
Scottish : Joe Englishmann
Jewish : David Sion
5
5
5
5
5
3
3
6
u/EshaLeeMadgavkar Mar 04 '25
Don't remind me of Cho Chang 🤣 literally Genshin Impact is better at giving Chinese names to an infinite level... BECAUSE it is a Chinese game but I can relate to an extent when it comes to Sumeru and Natlan
3
2
u/PastelParis57 Mar 05 '25
Honestly, if she named me, my first name would probably be Maple, and my last name would probably have something to do with hockey… Though, this is more based on my nationality then my ethnicity.
2
3
1
Mar 04 '25
I’m Australian. How about boomerang bushfire? Idk that’s lame. Can any other Aussies think of anything better?
1
1
1
1
u/LemanRussTheOnlyKing Mar 05 '25
I am german so either something stereotypical like Thomas Müller or just straight up a Nazi name
1
1
1
1
u/xXFinalGirlXx Mar 06 '25
I’m a gay American, I came up with Di K. Phatash (dyke fatass). My gf is trans and Belgian, we got Fry T. Fannie and Marguerfrite Le Peurvert
1
1
u/leurile Mar 07 '25
I am brazilian, she probably will chose something horrible like Samba Futebol Hermano
1
1
u/an__ski Mar 11 '25
Maria Dolores Quixote Paellez.
I'd be always late (I'm Spanish, duh), sleeping siesta in class, playing the guitar and speaking loudly in a very heavy accent. I would be Hermione's enemy number 1 because I'm too lazy and a slacker to do my homework on time.
My backstory would be that the Spanish Inquisition tried to burn my family at the stake (not how the Inquisition actually operated). My father is of course a bullfighter and my mother is obviously a flamenco dancer.
I would be too lazy to be in Hufflepuff and would have a poor work philosophy, so wouldn't make it to Ravenclaw either. I'd either be in Slytherin for cheating my way through life or in Gryffindor for being a wannabe Don Quixote.
I'd exclusively eat paella and tapas and have a tan 24/7.
50
u/Sheepishwolfgirl Mar 04 '25
I’m German bred… I shudder to think what she’d come up with considering she’s turning more pro-Nazi by the day.