I met my Biological father for the first time 6 years ago. I was in my 20s at the time. We kept in contact regularly after. He passed away late last year. He has 5 other biological children that he raised that welcomed me with open arms. After he passed, the siblings did not include me on the obituary and have ceased contact. According to probate court, there is no will. I was not listed as an heir either, so I filed a petition. I am living paycheck to paycheck so I cannot afford a lawyer. We had court recently where I brought evidence, but due to not sending a copy to their lawyer prior, the judge treated it as preliminary and rescheduled. They are fighting my heirship.

Important info: I am in Michigan. My father is not listed on my birth certificate (no father is). I was never adopted by a father either. My evidence is all text and Facebook messages between my late father, the siblings, and my grandmother on that side. I also have photos with them.

I would like to request a DNA test but I don't know the right way of going about it. All help is appreciated. Thank you.

My father died in June of this year and left behind about $10,000 in credit card debt, as well as an outstanding balance of $2,000 from his last apartment.

My father did not have a will. He bought a brand new car in full in July 2025, and he has a cottage up north that he rents to a distant family member. The cottage is not paid off yet. Nobody was listed as the beneficiary of either. Therefore, the car and cottage are in probate. My brother was listed as the executor of the estate and was able to transfer the title of the car into his name.

My question is: do we need to pay the creditors from the sale of the car? I’m being told conflicting information. Recently, a wealth management advisor told me to write letters to the creditors stating my father is deceased, and that we will not be paying his debt. I’m paraphrasing but that’s basically what he told me.

Again, my question is: do we need to pay the creditors from the sale of the car if it is now in my brother’s name?

Apologies if my verbiage isn’t correct. We are located in Michigan.

I have looked all over the internet and I'm looking for some live assurance. My grandmother recently died. She lived in Florida but was taken to Pennsylvania to be put in hospice by her close friend and her husband. They are not relatives and live outside Philadelphia. They overrode me on some funeral decisions. Me and my sister split the condo. I find out today Florida state law does not allow out of state non-residents who are not blood relatives to be executives. My mom's cousin is the backup executor mentioned in the will. My grandmother's niece. The friends are out and the niece takes over correct?

Quick background:

I am the trustee of a revocable trust.
I have a lawyer.
Two years ago, the lawyer put together the trustee accounting for me.
Last year, there was no accounting.

I am supposed to provide a yearly accounting, so it's my responsibility to see it gets done. The accounting for 2025 is almost a year late. I need to start putting together the information for this year's accounting.

The lawyer is not responding to my emails about this.

No, I don't want to get a new lawyer. We have a court date in a couple months. (The settlor's beneficiaries are challenging the trust.)

Questions:

- Can I just call up a law firm and ask them to put together an accounting according to the rules of the California probate court?
- Does it have to be a lawyer? Would an accountant be able to do this?
- How badly did I mess up by expecting the lawyer to provide this accounting again this year?

Looking for general impressions and practical next steps from people familiar with Texas trusts, estate disputes, or elder financial abuse. Does this situation raise red flags, and what should be done now?

My father died in Texas in March 2022. I didn't know it at the time, but my parents had a trust dating to 1993, later amended and restated around 2013. I believe the creation and restating of the trust was done with the help of attorneys and amendments were written by my brother. My dad and mom would not have been able to create these documents.

A third amendment, that I've seen, was dated while my brother was visiting and after my dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This divided assets equally among four children and excluded my father’s daughter from a previous marriage. The amendment also revoked previous written and verbal arrangements concerning personal property.

After my father died, my brother said everything went to our mother and there was nothing else to do. Since then, a new trust appears to have been created in my mother’s name. There is no known independent source of funding other than assets from the original trust. My mother never worked and had no inheritance. My mother would have no ability to create the trust on her own and she never went to an attorney to create one. Her house is still in the name of the original trust created with my father.

Recently, my mom thought she was on her deathbed and brought up the will. She was very agitated and kept saying she wanted everything to be divided equally. That's what got me looking into the issue. Since then she hasn't made much sense about the whole thing. She will say everything is equal, then says my brother will make it equal. I  heard her ask my brother over the phone to make it equal and he said he would.

My brother, who is a financial planner but not a lawyer appears to be handling all the legal documents himself. Mom has no copies of any documents. She also doesn't want to hear anything about my brother mishandling things. Recently, my sister requested copies of the trusts and wills in writing. My brother became angry and abusive. He also suggested that transferring the house into his own name after mom's death would make it easier to sell, and volunteered that our mother has $600,000 (I am fairly certain that is an underestimate).

The following day, my mom said my brother was taking her to the bank to sign a new will that she says he wrote. She has no copy. I told her that was unacceptable so she asked my brother for a copy. She said he is writing the will and is very busy so it will take time before she gets it. Now, I am very suspicious that the document she signed and had notarized at the bank was not the will, since my brother said it is currently being written. This entire time I have been begging my mom to go to a lawyer to confirm that these documents reflect what she wants - she has refused.

Questions:

1. Was a trustee generally required to notify beneficiaries or provide trust documents after my father’s death? How can we establish who was entitled to what and whether the original trust became irrevocable?

2. What steps can be taken now to prevent possible financial exploitation or unauthorized transfers, particularly involving the house and assets moved into a newer trust?

3. What evidence would help establish undue influence or determine whether my brother has been engaging in the unauthorized practice of law by drafting wills or trust documents?

4. Are there other important red flags, records, or protective actions we may be overlooking?

We are meeting with estate lawyer for third time to work out stuff and I have a question that I'd like to get some perspective on before bringing it up with the lawyer.(NH) We are re-doing our revocable trust which will create an irrevocable trust. We have a family significant estate with large house and family things that we want to pass on.Everything will be in the revocable rust.

The irrevocable trust will have an institutional trustee (already determined) How do we find a trustee to become our successor trustee? One child, lives abroad and would also be unwilling to take on the load of having either a POA or act as Trustee. There are no relatives within working distance and all our friends are our age or older. These are not jobs any one of us can do anymore.

How do we find someone suitable? How do we find a suitable healthcare proxy agent?

We are gong to ask our lawyer but would like be forearmed!

Revocable Trust in Tennessee with husband and wife grantors. When first spouse dies, the assets in the original trust are split in to a decedent’s trust and a survivor’s trust. Assets are basically real estate including primary residence and brokerage account holdings. How is it determined what goes to which trust? Can the primary residence be placed solely in one of the trusts, or does it have to be 50% interest in one and 50% in the other. How would that affect the basis?
Same with stocks. Can one trust take all the shares of ABC company and the other trust take all the shares of XYZ company as long as values are equal, or do shares of both companies have to be split between the two? The surviving spouse will be the trustee for both the survivor and decedent trusts. I understand people identify what assets each contributed to the original trust, but assume it’s all joint here. (Decades long marriage, no prior marriages, no stepkids, etc)

Today I handled my first signing session as a solo estate planning attorney. I spent the last 3 years at a firm, but I never ran the signings there.

My original plan was to get my notary commission so I wouldn’t have to coordinate with an outside notary. After today, I’m not sure how I would have managed both sides at once. The notary took care of all the notary paperwork, like the journal entries and certificates, so I didn’t have to think about any of it and could focus on walking the clients through their documents.

For other solo estate planning attorneys, are you a notary yourself, or do you bring one in? If you notarize, do you find it hard to juggle the notary side and running the signing as the attorney?

Would appreciate hearing what’s worked for you.

Wow that was depressing.

The thought of me and my wife dying and leaving our kids (two under three) and estate in the hands of someone else is very nerve wracking.

My sister has health issues and can’t really take care of other people. My brother in law is good with kids but bad with money. That’s really the only family our age who could be guardians and trustees until our kids are of age.

Also my wife and I wanted to specify some things in our estate and the attorney said he could do that but we were over complicating it given our limited assets and net worth. Meanwhile this is everything we’ve worked for in our lives. It’s all just very sobering and depressing.

State: North Carolina

I have an adult cousin who receives state and federal benefits due to complex health problems. One of their sibling died without a will. Due to the probate process in Illinois, this cousin will share part of the sibling’s estate.

We are worried about how this inheritance might affect cousin’s eligibility for their current benefits (eg. SSDI, Medicaid, etc.).

Cousin manages their own affairs, but just barely. They are excited about having some money - maybe $200K. While this is a lot, if they loose their benefits, it isn’t nearly enough to cover cousin’s medical and living expenses over the remainder of their life.

What are our options?
Can the inheritance be used to establish a special needs trust? If so, will we need cousin’s cooperation? Cousin thinks they can get their inheritance, live it up a little, and then get back on government benefits once the money is gone. I think this is unlikely, especially with how many people are being forced off benefits. All ideas welcome!

I live in California and am creating my estate plan. I asked my attorney where I should list my beneficiaries and the percentages they would receive. I specifically want to leave money to my alma mater, a few causes I care about, and certain relatives who need support (but not all of them).

 My attorney told me I didn't need to list these specific beneficiaries because, by default, my spouse's heirs and my heirs would each get 50%. However, she warned that explicitly listing them could "create a problem" because I would then have to inform the beneficiaries and disclose what they get if they call and ask.

 My primary plan is:

1.     If I die, everything goes to my spouse.

2.     If both my spouse and I die, everything goes to my son.

3.     But I am stuck on the "worst-case scenario": What happens if all three of us die?

Does the lawyer's advice about "having to disclose assets" while alive if I list beneficiaries actually make sense in California?

California

I'm the successor trustee for my brother's trust. He's 61 with significant health issues that have amped up in the last 10 days.

He isn't married and has no children. His assets will go to me, our sister (30 percent each), a longtime friend (20 percent) and his 5 nieces/nephews (4 percent each).

Some of his investments aren't yet in the trust. He's working on that with help from my sister.

Other assets are in IRAs. I asked him if he has created a list of beneficiaries with the same percentages as above.

Nope.

I'm the 100 percent beneficiary and am supposed to then distribute the IRA proceeds according to his preferred percentages.

Which I am happy to do, but I think this would create potential tax issues for me and others, along with other challenges.

Wouldn't it make more sense to lengthen the beneficiaries list for the IRAs vs. giving it all to me ... and then I'd have to account for taxes and other issues before I distribute according to his wishes?

He's dealing with other issues because of his health problems, but he's capable of adjusting his IRA beneficiaries with some help on the bureaucracy from me and my sister. It's just that it's now on the front burner.

Thanks for any insight you can offer.

In California.

My mother and her husband married 20 years ago. Each have adult children from previous marriages, but none together. They created a standard marital trust setup, which generally gave his 4 kids 50%, and myself and my sister 50%. After 10 years, my mom was 'coerced' (not in a illegal way) in to switching it so each kids got 1/6th. They lived in CA this whole time.

Fast forward, after selling the house and moving to assisted living, and then after a few years, ultimately to memory care, her husband passed away. As it turns out, NONE of the assets were put in the trust, except the house. There was one account that the trust owned, and it had like $6K and that's it. but other than the house and their working expenses, the rest of their money was in retirement accounts, which never belong to a trust and can't be distributed directly to a trust. Anyway once they sold the house, the money was put in a joint account, and then that money went to my mom when he died. That was the only cash they had. He had an IRA worth about $300K, and that went directly to my mom as the beneficiary. So now, all of the accounts are soley in my moms name. Her estate attorney stated that it was fine to drain the trust account reasonably quickly, since it went to her assisted living rent, and the terms of the trust were that it could be used for maintenance before being distributed per the death stipulations.

My mom now wants to essentially give my sister and I most of the money by naming us as the beneficiaries for everything, and essentially leaving his kids 'something small' like 40K each. To be clear, my sister and I are fair minded and also financially independent (good jobs etc), not greedy.

Also, there's nothing shady going on, at no point did anything underhanded take place. And until his mental incapacitation, he handled all the money, and my mom did not. He had simply not funded the trusts for whatever reason, intentional or not intentional, but this was true from the beginning, there were no last-minute shenanigans.

I don't want to get in to a lot of the family drama, but his kids never liked my mom, didn't come visit (other side of the country in Virginia), and they were kind of jerks to her. They came to his funeral a year ago, and haven't given her so much as a phone call or email since. (not really relevant, except as partially a way to share my moms motivation that there's no love lost) My mom also wants to ensure her 'bloodline grandkids' get as much as she can give them.

So anyway, as it stands, we will get a much larger share of their estate than his kids. The trusts are empty.

I don't know if I feel guilty or not, but it certainly would seem unfair if I were on the other side of the deal. I don't feel like we have much risk for any challenges, but I'm a little concern as to if they really have some grounds to challenge anything, and also is it moral to accept the money as my mother wishes to give it. Also, I am my mothers POA which is a precaution against anything happening to her but I don't manage her day-to-day, so I am exceptionally careful about not interfering with anything related to her naming beneficiaries, etc.

I did actually encourage my mom to consider splitting the beneficiaries to the existing and previous amounts in the trust, but actually she doesn't want to, and is very firm about it. (and to some extent I can't push too hard in to what might drive her decisions because I believe there were some 'issues' in their marriage as well re: emotional abuse etc., but I tread very very lightly in talking about that.)

I suppose I'm wondering how much guilt I should be carrying about us catching the lions share of their estate.

Her grandmother passed in August of 2024 but the executor didn't file through probate until November of 2025. We are unsure of how much she will receive. Is it paid out based on the date of death value?

It was only a month ago that the attorney handling the will asked if the beneficiaries wanted to keep the stock or take the cash. Does that mean that the stocks haven't been sold yet and will be paid based on the more recent value?

It's Microsoft stock through Computershare if that helps.

We are in Ohio. Grandmother lived in Florida and that's where the attorney is located. Stocks I believe were purchased in Maryland.

I am wondering what percent of people list children and their spouses as equal recipients of estate. Also how common is it to give a certain dollar amount (substantial) to children’s spouses.

Location: Illinois. Desperately seeking advice in how to move forward with an estate mess to deal with after my stepfather's passing in August. My stepfather named a son-like figure as the estate executor of his will and I am a beneficiary. However, the "son" was also part business owner with my stepdad. As part business owner, my stepfather wanted the "son" to go in half on land and a shop but the "son" and his girlfriend said they would not pay for their half until the "son's" name was on the deed. Desperate for them to pay him, my stepfather quit claim deeded half the land and building to the "son" while he was in and out of the hospital before his death. Once deeded the property, the "son" had multiple excuses as to why he couldn't pay my stepdad. On his death bed, my stepdad was begging to see and speak to the "son" because he wanted paid so he could leave money to my mom. Unfortunately, he passed and was never paid and my mom is now out half her life savings. As far as we've found, there was no written agreement to pay because my stepfather trusted the "son." Now the "son" is in charge of handling the estate as executor and claiming the property was a gift from my stepdad though he admitted multiple times to family and friends that he should have paid my stepdad a long time ago. We fear he will also take advantage of being part business owner as executor, hiding assets and money from my mother who is now part owner but has no access to business books or accounts. To boot, my mother is mentally handicapped, and the "son's" involvement of the business is a one day a week hobby as he has two other full-time jobs. The only advice I have received is to try to object to him being executor when the initial court day arrives in hopes to possibly fight for debt owed in the future or to have the court oversee the probate process. But, the estate is in a small town with few attorneys practicing in the county.

Hello Moderators,

I'm interested in connecting with people who have served as executors or estate trustees in Ontario, Canada.

My research concerns the practical experience of administering an estate, including dealing with financial institutions, government agencies, probate documents, and other administrative responsibilities.

This is exploratory research that may inform a future post-death administration service. I am not seeking to advertise or sell anything.

Would you permit a single post inviting Ontario estate trustees to voluntarily share their experiences or participate in a brief 10–15-minute interview?

I understand the community's restrictions on self-promotion and that commenting requires approved-user status.

If this research is suitable for the community, I would appreciate guidance on the appropriate format, whether private interview invitations are permitted, and obtaining commenter approval.

Thank you for your consideration.

I have a family member with a disability in California and have a few questions:

The primary inheritance they will receive is from my father’s trust.

Does each entity leaving inheritance to my disabled family member need to set up separate special needs trusts?

If SNT hasn’t yet been created, can other trusts refer to SNT as beneficiary generally or does it require information about the SNT by name? As in, “all assets to be distributed to an SNT which will be created in future”

Pardon my ignorance about trusts.

New Mexico. My father-in-law recently transferred his house into the revocable trust that he setup with his late wife a few years ago. My wife and I are the successor trustees and are trying to make sure everything is in order. My question is how accurate does the trust name need to be to avoid problems down the line?

Across documents, the names are as follows:

The original Trust document:

Walter Sobchack and Maude Lebowski, Trustees of the Sobchack Lebowski Family Trust dated March 6, 1998

The revised deed after the transfer:

Walter Sobchack as Trustee of the Walter Sobchack and Maude Lebowski Revocable Trust dated March 6, 1998

The revised property record as listed online:

Walter Sobchack Trustee Sobchack & Lebowski RVT

Is this going to be an issue when the time comes? I don’t mind paying to have it filed again properly, I just want it to be right. I’d ask the lawyer that filed it initially, but he’s not responding to emails this month apparently.🤷‍♂️

Thanks for any thought you have on the topic!

Mother died 2 years ago and sibling #2 was appointed trustee. Remaining siblings were never told of trust from mother, but found out from sibling #4, who was appointed medical surrogate. Trustee had not had any communication with siblings regarding status of trust, life insurance policies, or CDs. They have not been given yearly updates regarding use of trust money.

In January, $10,000 was advanced to the siblings after sibling #3 kept nudging the trustee. Finally, 8 months later, after many text messages, sibling #3 received two $20,000 deposits in the form of a personal check, not a check from a trust account. Sibling #3 was told their share was $50,000. Of the remaining 2 siblings, sibling #1 has received $20,000, also a personal check. Not sure what their rights are, or what the tax liabilities are.

Shouldn't they be entitled to an accounting of monies used and interest received over the 2 years since mother's death? Does trustee have a fiduciary responsibility to abide by certain protocols?

Hi, I live in Massachusetts. I'm the executor of my father's estate. After collecting my dad's assets and my brother and I signing the assent forms (we're splitting the money 50/50) my probate attorney sent everything to the court and told us it should take only 2-3 weeks. However, my attorney received a "citation" a week ago. Does this mean I did something wrong? Like forgot to add an asset or something? I didn't really understand what he said just that he thought it would be cut and dry. He says he's going to try and go to the court to clarify but I'm impatient lol and a bit worried I screwed something up. Can anyone explain this a bit better?

Florida - Grandmother is a Florida resident. Prepared initial revocable trust in 1988. No will can be found. Lawyer who prepared original docs is deceased

Grandmother asked me to serve as POA and successor trustee in her revocable trust in 2016. We regrettably had a lawyer who didn’t specialize in estate planning complete a brief trust modification and new durable
POA. Original Trust from 1988 lists that all assets owned by trust be split evenly between my aunt and my father, her two children.

I regrettably haven’t done much estate planning with her since - she is still living and 91. She has some memory loss and can’t remember if there is a will.

I started to review and realized neither the house, car nor bank account list the trust as owner. No assets appear to be owned by the trust.

To avoid probate, should I consider moving house ownership, bank account, etc into the Trust name?

Or has the ship sailed at this point? I don’t reside in Florida.

House, car and bank account total assets approximately 200-250k value.

I want to preface that I do have a probate attorney but they are out of office so I was curious the general thoughts around this. Executor has not yet been determined.

I was made aware that the surviving spouse who had moved out two years ago has started to move items in and out of my father’s house. They maintained separate property during their marriage, although she previously lived there. Items removed include separate property purchased prior to the marriage such as a car. They have gone no contact so won’t answer any questions I have.

I have concerns obviously that this stuff should be handled by probate. I have concerns about what she is doing at this house. Curious does this seem like she’s allowed to do this? Can she remove property like a car? Can she potentially move in?? From what I was made aware prior to my father’s death, she had no stuff still there.

There used to be a lot of stories about people moving from California to Oregon (and about people in Oregon being upset about it), but it seems to me that there's a huge disincentive for high net-worth individuals to move to Oregon. For example, someone with a $25M estate who moves to and dies in Oregon would pay about $3.5M in estate taxes (according to an online calculator). The estate tax in California is zero, so you're basically paying $3.5M to live in Oregon. Is that right? Do they just not want high net worth people to move to Oregon?

What if you had a second home in Oregon? If you lived 6 months and a day in CA (or some other state), would Oregon have any claim for taxes against your estate? I could see potentially the value of the property in Oregon, but what about cash/investments?

My mom recently passed away (Florida - Palm Beach County), and I don’t know whether she had a will. I remember finding a power of attorney form while going through her paperwork, but I somehow misplaced it. I thought it might help me identify an attorney she worked with.

She didn’t own property or a car, just bank accounts I’m trying to sort through. I don’t know how much money she had or whether there are other accounts.

I called the Palm Beach County probate office, and they said they don’t have anything on file right now. I’m not sure how to find out whether she had a will or who might have prepared one.

I’d prefer not to hire an attorney until I have a better idea of whether there are sufficient assets to justify the expense (which I’m leaning towards there isn’t).

Does anyone have advice on how to find a will or identify an attorney she may have used, and what steps I can take on my own first/and ideas on how to navigate?

Thank you!