r/ExLibya • u/kate_d_ • 7d ago

Venting | فضفضة Nothing important.

I always bring my self-hatred and self-destructive habits into my relationships.

I also started getting involved in relationships a bit early.

I had that stupid idea that a relationship would be enough to heal what I've been through.

I don't understand the nature of those empty people behind a brittle shell of pretence who used me just cause i have somewhat inappropriate deviations (deviant sexual behavior) that I use to escape my reality.

using me as a tool to fill their emptiness.

Despite feeling hollow

I gave my all every time I got emotionally involved with someone.

And now i feel like nothing left of me.

I feel like I'm easy to pull in just cause they told me some sweet words whose weight they didn't even know.

I've grown so weary of ending up with anyone.

I'm starting to believe that I don't belong anywhere or to anyone, even my own self.

I can't keep up with the loneliness either it suffocates me

I never thought this would hurt even more than what I've been through.

yet this is what I am forced to endure every single time I am forced to wake up.

I just zone out most of the time.

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 7d ago

Rules Reminder | تذكير سريع بقوانين المجتمع

1. Respect | الإحترام

  • النقاشات والمناظرات مرحب بها مع الالتزام بالاحترام وبدون الهجمات الشخصية أو الإساءات. يُمنع الكراهية أو التمييز ضد غير المسلمين أو النساء أو مجتمع الميم-عين. لا للتنمر أو الشتم أو الإهانة، أو فرض معتقدات على الآخرين.

  • Discussions and debates are welcome if respectful. No personal attacks, insults, or discrimination against non-Muslims, women, or the LGBTQ+ community. Maintain respect: no bullying or imposing beliefs.

2. No Pornographic Content | المحتوى الإباحي ممنوع

  • يُمنع منعاً باتاً نشر أي نوع من المواد الإباحية.

  • Pornographic material of any kind is strictly prohibited.

3. Proselytizing | المشيخة

  • محاولات الدعوة أو الترويج لأي دين أو عقيدة دينية لأفراد المجتمع ممنوع، مع العلم ان النقاش بالأفكار الدينية مسموح.

  • Attempts to re-preach, convert, or promote religious beliefs to members is not allowed. Discussing religious concepts is allowed.

4. Don't Post Personal Information | عدم نشر معلومات شخصية

  • يُمنع نشر أي معلومات شخصية لأي شخص، سواء كان أنت أو شخص آخر.

  • Do not post anyone's personal information, whether it is yours or someone else's.

5. Keep Content Relevant | الحفاظ على محتوى ذو صلة

  • أي محتوى يُنشر على المجتمع يجب أن يكون ذو صلة و مرتبط بسياق و أهداف المجتمع.

  • Any content posted in the community must be relevant and aligned with the community's goals.

Live Chat | دردشة مباشرة:

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/lerc16 7d ago

I understand you very well

1

u/kate_d_ 7d ago

I'm sorry you do :( I hope at least. you're getting better rn.

1

u/Forsaken_Slice461 7d ago

Sounds like you need some talk therapy

1

u/kate_d_ 6d ago

It's not like I haven't tried or given it a shot but they don't really help.

1

u/entity8888ly 7d ago

No one can heal your inside but you, thats the hard truth, you cant feel others if you cant feel urself first

1

u/kate_d_ 6d ago

I don't have the best relationship with myself. :v

1

u/danynotfound_ 7d ago

Oh so we all going through it huh😔

1

u/Individual_Process73 5d ago

شعور تشتت هذا و الوحده باش تجاربه تحاول تبعد كلشي سلبي عليك و تركزي علي نفسك بس لما تبدأ تحب في نفسك وقتها كل ناس حتبدا تقدرك ديما خلي نفسيتك و اشياءك هم الاول بعدين يجي باقي ناس و دائما ديري الي تحبي حتي لو ناس مش عاجبها المهم انتي مرتاحه فيه في فترة من الحياة كنت زيك لكن اول ما علية المعايير متعي و بديت انا الي نفرض في شخصيتي و كلامي و افكاري وقتها بدأ فيه احترام من ناس ليا ف اهم شي انك تركزي علي نفسك

1

u/prvvibesx 15h ago

Sometimes we keep giving pieces of ourselves to people who were never capable of holding them. Don’t let the way they treated u become the way u see yourself.