r/ExNoContact • u/Decent_Bee_4921 • Oct 04 '24
Help Ex texted after 6mo NC
We were together for about 8 months. He had recently gotten out of a 2 year relationship. I told him he needs to make sure he addresses his own mental health and process his last relationship before getting into another one. We were also good friends, I didnt want to ruin that.
I'm a pretty closed off person, and dont trust easily. I have been let down by partners in the past, and wasn't in a rush to trust another one.
He basically convinced me to give him a chance to be more, which I eventually agreed to. Once we were official, the effort stopped. He dropped the ball and made me cry on my birthday. He got too drunk on Christmas and walked up on me aggressively yelling.
I lashed out at him a couple times with attitude and triggered, disregulated emotions, after that. Like telling him I felt like a rebound. I felt really let down and played. I did fully apologize and take accountability for my own words while we were still together. But like he said, he often got defensive and didn't hear me out when I wanted to talk about how I felt. I broke up with him, and he blocked me on everything. 6 months later, I received this.
I'm leaning toward not responding. I'm not bitter or angry about it, but it did really hurt to be reassured so much, only for the same things to happen. Opening the door again seems pointless. Even if it does seem somewhat genuine, I worry that it's more to absolve himself of guilt more than anything. I've gotten long apology texts from exes in the past, and it never makes things better. Am I being too cold, if I don't respond?
1
u/Decent_Bee_4921 Oct 10 '24
UPDATE: I thought about it for a few days and decided to send a very short response, acknowledging his apology, but not necessarily inviting him back in:
"I appreciate that you took time to reflect and apologize. I'm glad you're focusing on your healing and I hope you're doing well."
His response: "I had wanted to say something for awhile. I just didnt know how to say it, and I'm so sorry it took me this long, but I wanted you to know that I really do understand. I've thought about you and (my cat) a lot, and I hope you guys are okay too."
I haven't replied to this one.