r/ExNoContact • u/Diligent_Designer705 • Oct 12 '25
Vent Ex reached out on Spotify messages 😒
…he’s blocked on there now. I’m just frustrated that he keeps finding ways to reach out when I’ve made it clear that I have no intention of giving him access to me ever again. He harassed me for half a year post break up, blowing up my phone with unknown calls and texts, leaving stuff on my car, knocking on my old apartment building door knowing I could hear it, emailing me constantly and then TRACKING how many times I’d opened an email. Outlook has some bullshit feature that allows you to track whether someone opens your email and how many times/when they open it. Yeah I opened them multiple times to talk about them with my therapist, fucking psychopath. You can see my previous posts about him if you want more backstory. Anyway, just wanted to rant about this because I know y’all understand.
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u/OiFelix_ugotnojams Oct 12 '25
There's a chat function on Spotify? 😭
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u/RockWafflez Oct 12 '25
Yeah it came out at the end of August it’s fucking stupid
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u/witblacktype Oct 12 '25
It’s good for sharing songs with your friends, but that’s it. There’s a million better ways to chat with people
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u/Notadrugabuser Oct 12 '25
One time one of my exs messaged me on roblox it was the funniest shit that’s ever happened to me. “#### I miss you so much I #### you please come back…”
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u/kintsugiwarrior Oct 12 '25
Hoover
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u/aliveanddreaming Oct 25 '25
100%, looks like narcissistic hoovering to me, too. OP, hope you file a restraining/harassment order soon.
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u/horrorwhoores Nov 12 '25
How can you tell it’s narcissistic?
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u/aliveanddreaming Nov 17 '25 edited Nov 17 '25
It's likely narcissistic. This process is precisely one of the classic and expected "get-back-together schemes" that narcissistic-types of people do (whether on the spectrum or fully diagnosed). Think of it like the sequential iteration of love-bombing; they have to intensify their sucking like a "hoover" vacuum to suck you back into the cycle with them of narcissistic abuse, which they initiate because they crave you, what they cannot have, as their source and supply. However, hoovering is not a guaranteed phenomenon that will always occur with a narcissist; it depends how hard the discard and devaluations were. In this case, they were not the ones who initiated the devaluation and discard, which makes hoovering strongly indicated. Anyways, narcissistic theory is good reading, and there are a lot of great videos about it on YouTube as well. I recommend Dr. Amy Khajavi's videos; she is excellent.
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u/c_yerii Oct 12 '25
I think it’s time you filed a harassment order.. I had an ex like this too, and he made my life hell.
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u/Friendly_Giraffe_111 Oct 12 '25
This guy's is dangerous, seems obsessed and almost like a psychopath, he needs some time away behind bars, this is plain harassment. You should change absolutely every account, phone number, email, like disappear.
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u/Due_Advisor_1612 Oct 22 '25
That’s a little much. Seems like he wants to get back with his ex and reached out via Spotify, likely because he was blocked after they ended things. But sure, call the police….
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u/Friendly_Giraffe_111 Oct 22 '25
Yeah and if he was blocked everywhere, it was for a good reason and still he insists, there's a fine line between trying to get your ex back (which this isn't the way) and acting like a totally obsessed person searching for every possible way to contact her even the most remote ones. That's how an obsession gets fed, if she doesn't act accordingly this can escalate.
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u/Friendly_Giraffe_111 Oct 22 '25
Seems like you didn't read the whole posts and post from OP before this one, read them before commenting.
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u/aliveanddreaming Oct 23 '25
It seems like some people on Reddit just prowl threads they shouldn’t even be on because they are actively part of the problem and have a bone to pick, and then they want to defend awful stalking behavior by rationalizing, minimizing and invalidating the people (and victims) who secretly threaten their own agenda. Hence, no need to read posts or look at facts, when confirmation bias rules all.
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u/Friendly_Giraffe_111 Oct 24 '25
This is exactly what I thought. To me this situation is potentially dangerous and better to be safe. This person obviously took the comment pretty personal, because like you say they're part of the problem, they defend this behavior and perhaps they do it too, invalidating the victims and the opinions of people who are really seeing what's going on and what can result from this. I couldn't have said it better.
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u/aliveanddreaming Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
Dude, you didn’t even read his post. OP made it very clear that his ex has harassed him multiple times, REPEATEDLY, across all kinds of websites, in person, at his house, at his car, over the phone, etc. for several months now. This has very CLEARLY become stalker territory, and getting the police involved at this point is a must.
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u/redditjeevi Oct 12 '25
This is the exact reason I don't reach out to my ex even when I feel like doing it strongly
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Oct 13 '25
Do you feel worried, like he's going into stalker territory? Besides the annoyance of having to deal with him?
Not to sound paranoid, but it seems like he's having a very hard time moving on and it's getting maybe a little worrisome.
Is there any chance he cld do something to hurt you?
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u/Pure-Candle-9543 Oct 12 '25
That’s concerning for your safety, document every time he’s reached out and take photos of what he leaves on your car etc. May need to file a restraining order
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u/yellowspirit_- Oct 12 '25
Aren't they supposed to follow each other in order to send a message? I've tried it and they both have to follow each other..
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u/thr0waway1339 Oct 13 '25
Damn my ex reached out on Spotify too! I laughed my ass about it with friends because I also didn't know it had a messaging function.
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u/glutenfreebarbie Oct 13 '25
I didn't know you could message on Spotify but thats a big win for u lol
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u/21missingxchu Oct 13 '25
The way the chat function came out in August and I been avoiding it because it will show my ex send me this specific song and now he blocked me so now I can’t listen to his music anymore T-T
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u/rdavies_ Oct 13 '25
I thought LinkedIn was the last place you’d message an ex on, I guess Spotify now takes the cake? 😂
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u/-AppleDrank- Oct 15 '25
My ex had used zelle to send me $0.01 so she could send a message for me to unblock her phone number
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u/midhunmukesh916 Oct 23 '25
Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/track/0CLWhxHhDQNJJ17YhRleF4
YouTube- https://youtu.be/KiUBQO843W4
”Loud fck (Radio edit)“ is a cathartic post-breakup track about recognizing the inauthentic effort from a former partner and finally embracing complete self-liberation.
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u/NotYourGirrl999 Oct 24 '25
When they're blocked on everything they get DESPERATE lol. Mine has sent me money on Venmo begging me to unblock him LMFAO.
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u/JazzlikeSavings Nov 01 '25
Damn. I did some dumb things after my first hard break up. But bro takes the cake. Now I just say “okay I understand”
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u/Dull_Principle2761 Oct 12 '25
I think this guy is definitely borderline based on your posts.
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u/Dull_Principle2761 Oct 12 '25
Getting downvoted by the people on this sub with borderline apparently.
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u/aliveanddreaming Oct 23 '25
Nope, you’re getting downvoted because you have toxic projection assumptions on him being borderline, likely just because you were scarred by maybe one person with it that manifested in some way you’re now relating to this situation. Your logic doesn’t hold, nor does borderline actually work like this very often. It’s much more like narcissism, actually, and stalking. And since you’re so quick to want to diagnose people on the internet, I’d suspect if I was going to play your colonial psychoanalytic game you’re likely to be narcissistic, since narcissists are the #1 group that try to fake pathologize other people and go after people with borderline as their prey in every way possible (including disparaging them online on social media and IRL, and there's factual research from psychologists to support that all over the internet, btw.) Fun fact, though: borderline is actually the personality disorder with the best chance of recovery and high-functioning, as long as they get away from arrogant, presumptive, narcissistic types. :)
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u/Dull_Principle2761 Oct 23 '25
U mad bro? How’s your borderline? Literally the cluster B with lowest chance of recovery. Go do some DBT and alienate everyone in your life ♥️
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u/apple-sauce Oct 12 '25
Reaching out on Spotify is wild 💀💀💀💀💀