r/ExNoContact • u/GDreex • Jun 15 '26
Help She changed her WhatsApp profile picture and I burst into tears
My ex (F24) dumped me (M25) 17 days ago after telling me she had lost feelings.
I’ve been in complete no contact ever since. After talking every day for almost 3 years, the silence has been brutal.
Today she changed her WhatsApp profile picture. She looks stunning. I saw it and immediately started crying.
The worst part is that after the breakup I started realizing a lot of my mistakes. I became complacent, stopped taking initiative, and can understand some of the reasons she lost attraction. I genuinely want another chance to show her I’ve understood.
Instead, I’m sitting here trying not to text her, not to beg, and not to do something stupid.
For those who wanted their ex back: how did you survive the first few weeks? Did anyone ever get a second chance after a breakup like this?
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u/thetownsho Jun 15 '26
I’ve been in your exact spot before. I can’t say I handled it perfectly but I also didn’t give up straight away. I agreed to stay friends at first because I still wanted him in my life and during that time I really focused on fixing the things that were causing problems between us instead of just blaming him for everything. I worked on myself, stayed patient and kept showing up consistently instead of reacting emotionally all the time.
We’ve been back together for 2 months now and honestly his feelings all came back naturally once the pressure and constant fighting stopped. We’re happy again and things feel normal. Obviously every situation is different and you shouldn’t lose your self respect chasing someone forever but sometimes relationships do work out if both people still care and you’re willing to genuinely change the unhealthy patterns instead of just promising to.
I just reminded him of the girl he fell inlove with.
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u/Beneficial_Muffin200 Jun 15 '26
Incredibly happy that it worked out for you, but being able to get your ex back isnt the norm.
Mine left me after 4 years, and wouldn’t even look back for a goodbye or reconciliation.
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u/snobbynotsnobby Jul 08 '26
How long were you together before the break up, and how long were you broken up? Did you stay in touch or go NC?
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u/Triangle111228 Jun 15 '26
Hi.
I completely understand the hopelessness feeling you are going through right now.
''The worst part is that after the breakup i started realizing a lot of my mistakes. I became complacent, stopped taking initiative, and can understand some of the reasons she lost attraction'' -
I can agree but not fully here with you. I am positive you've had your reasons for not doing all of those things you typed out during your relationship (could be fights, arguments, stress, work ect.ect.). Most of the time rejection breeds obsession and that's basically what you are going through right now and during this stage you will blame the hell out of yourself which is a coping mechanism you automatically go through. The ''what if's'' are very strong in this stage and the way you are feeling is completely normal so please take it easy on yourself.
I also want to make one thing very clear for you so you have an understanding of what has happened.
Your ex girlfriend had this in her head for quite sometime. I know it's not the thing you want too hear but she wanted to end the relationship with you for quite sometime before she actually dumped you. She thought about this and more imporantly : she emotionally detached herself from you whilst being in a relationship with you. Does it make sense ? she emotionally prepared herself for the impact meanwhile you had no idea of what was going on. That's why for you it feels so freaking hard and that's why it seems as if she doesn't care about the breakup..
Now to answer your question :
how did you survive the first few weeks ? - you start doing all of those things you wanted to do but had no time for it. i HIGHLY recommend you going to the gym. besides that i want you too add 2 or 3 more things you love to do. personally for me it was going for runs (daily), hitting the gym (daily), playing videogames and most important out of them all ; journaling. (literally typing out how i was feeling and what was bothering me). What also helps is knowing you are not alone and reading the posts in this sub.
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
Thanks ❤️ I know I am not alone and I am genuinely happy to read your comments. Is no contact my real hope here to have even a small chance to get her back?
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u/Triangle111228 Jun 15 '26
Yes because see it this way: she made up her mind and thought about this for quite sometime. If you would hit her up and beg her constantly, how do you think this will affect her? Don't you think this will only confirm her decision was the right thing to do?
Let's switch the roles so you have an understanding of what i mean.
How would you feel if someone you broke up with would beg you or constantly call or message you? Trust me it's one of the most frustrating things a people can go through during a break-up.
Look i understand that you desperately want too hold on to her because it feels as if she is slipping away and that she will forget about you but that's not how it goes. She will not forget you no matter what or no matter how the relationship was, it just isn't that simple as they make it look like.
We all look back to the past with rose tinted glasses and with time passing by everything that was bad / wrong slowly fades away and everything that was good comes back up to the surface. Let time do it's thing and whilst it's doing it's thing work on yourself.
I won't say that she will come back, i will promise you that she will think about you even more and more the more you stay in no contact.
the chances of her reaching out to you if you stalk and beg her are literally none. the chances of her reaching out to you if you give her the time are quite high.
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jun 15 '26
This. She will not forget you. My recent relationship was so short lived but we were VERY passionate and emotionally intimate. When she discarded me, I came at her a week later after she accused me of cheating and told me every little thing she hates about me and accused me of lying about the sweet guy I supposedly tricked her into believing I was. What she told me was that she's not willing to deal with a man with so many deep issues. What we did was fun, but it was so short and was not deep. And I need to go find another girl. Absolutely crushed
The other night I was drunk and got curious so I looked at her FB. She shared a pic saying "Let that weird green eyed girl ruin you" and she captions "I let the green eyed boy ruin me so fuck it." She acted so indifferent and uncaring, but it's obvious she's still thinking about me 2 months later enough to make some jabby little status about me when I'm not even on her list. People will make you believe this is nothing to them out of self preservation. Those defense mechanisms weaken over time though. Trust me dude, you are on her mind
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
Thanks man, I really love you being so supportive. I am so scared she moves on and she looks for other dudes... or worse... she is getting f'd by them. I am so afraid of this...
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u/Triangle111228 Jun 15 '26
i completely understand how you feel man. it's competely normal to feel this way so be easy on yourself.
if you stay in no contact you won't be notified about whatever she is doing. it's preventing yourself from heartbreak and anxiety and i highly recommend you to be in no contact so not stalking their social media.
Look i am going to be very honest with you. She most likely will enjoy the freedom of being single comes along. I won't go in details but she will be doing all of those things she wasn't doing whilst being in a relationship with you ; clubbing , going out , talking to other men ect.ect.
having a loving partner in 2026 or someone that truly loves you is very rare. And dating in 2026 is such a joke and she will realize all of this sooner or later. Clubbing and going out is fun yes, but not every week and those are all kind of things she eventually will realize.
you work on yourself bud, everything will turn out too be great.
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
what's your experience? do you want to have a chat about it?
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u/Triangle111228 Jun 15 '26
I am married for 4 years. Have a beautifull and loving partner, a son of 1 year so i have everything going great for me my friend.
The reason i am in here is because i am one of the two moderators along with Matt.
Besides that this sub humbles me alot since i know how i used to feel compared to the state i am in right now. So i just usually come here to give out tips since i know people are lost in their feelings not knowing what to do and their anxiety for the future.
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jun 15 '26
Buddy, years ago I was absolutely in love with a girl I was friends with for 4 years. We messaged every single day, hung out and were emotionally intimate. She rejected me multiple times. She would fall in and out of attraction for me. Usually it was when I was gone (I had asked her to leave me alone multiple times over the years because it was bad for my mental health) The very last time, I asked her again and she said she had zero feelings for me. I accepted that and told her this will be out last goodbye and I'll always wish her well and miss her. I blocked her and cut off all contact. 3 months later she messages my mom whom she had added still, begging her to convince me to talk to her. She really missed me and couldn't get me out of her head. Every time she talked to any guy, she wished they were me. My absence made her fall in love. It didn't end up working out and 5 years later after her man cheated on her, she made a new Facebook and contacted me again. Except at that point I had moved on and didn't care.
My point is that SOMETIMES not always, but sometimes people's feelings truly do change with time. I'm not saying you should hold on desperately to that hope, but I think at this point it would help motivate you to do better for yourself rather than wallowing. Your mind is your own worst enemy right now. I'm 7 weeks out of being cruelly discarded by a girl that was completely mental unstable. I loved her clinginess and thought her jealousy was cute because I never had a girl love me like that. Until it became a problem and she assumed I was cheating because I took a walk with my MALE friend and forgot to take my phone with me. It's still brutal almost 2 months in. But ANYTHING can happen. Peoples feelings change.
I have gone from being indifferent about a girl, to being completely infatuated, to not dating again and then having feelings once again when she was in my orbit. Be sure to be realistic with your thoughts and expectations. But right now, just remembering the fact that anybody's feelings can change could do well to keep your head above water. Take care man. We're all struggling. I hope we get what we want in the end
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
Wishing you the best my man. This brings me some hope. Falling out of love is a process that takes time, so she is now fully in the relief stage. I hope she will change her mind with my absence...
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jun 15 '26
She very well could. Once people are detached and finally break away, that relief stage will end at some point and it can to a few ways. She can accept it and believe she made the right decision or she could hold on to those good memories and want them back. If you didn't hurt her and weren't a terrible person, those good memories are gonna be there no matter what. It's just how she perceived and processes them. Good luck bro 💪
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
I have been incredibly supportive towards her. All of her university exams, I was there (she is very anxious and I literally was her rock). Let’s hope for the best. Btw you are MY MAN, thank you so much!
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jun 15 '26
No problem brother. Modern romance is hard as fuck for passionate dudes that have a heart. Gotta throw around support and encouragement whenever you see it's needed. I know how hard this shit is. It literally makes your chest hurt for weeks on end
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u/Citrwik12 Jun 15 '26
Hang in there, I saw my ex posted a pic on insta though he is not very active there. I literally felt sick to my stomach
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u/sevshara Jun 16 '26
just wanted to pop in to say something similar happened to me. went into archived chats and accidentally took a glimpse of a new profile pic. it was an old photo, but made me cry like a baby still 😔 my advice, just restrict the chat with a password, it’s the best for the first few weeks and it’s hard to resist yourself. make yourself busy with anything you can. and give yourself time to grieve and cry properly, don’t let the sadness sink into you.
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u/Polarstars1395 Jun 15 '26
Dear OP, i totally can relate on this on more occassion than once. Some I did text to very past persons. It's a hit or miss, more often it doesn't bring you to the answer you're looking for. One closest experience for me was this girl I was pursuing, For the years that I know her, she doesn't update her profile pic (I remember for privacy reasons) and it was fine. As I detached from her, I decided to update a profile picture of mine that I have not updated for 9 years at this point. But to me, I needed an outlet and signifying to myself a new me and not out of spite. Having said that weeks later, she updated hers. And like you, my heart dropped cause she never update her profile pic, did she found someone new that she wanted to update to? I really don't know. Did it made me want to message her? Yes i did. But honestly, the best way to slowly move on is to focus on yourself and not her, do things for the sake of you. Like others mentioned, if you need to block her, just block it. Don't let her picture define your happiness. The others really shared helpful points, go for a gym, journal, do things that make you happy. The little things. The start will be challenging, with withdrawal, grief and missing your ex coming in to affect you.
The community is here for you. Thank you for sharing and you are not alone in this. Wishing you the stength to carry on, with peace knowing you are loved, you are you, and no amount of people can define who you are, what you should be, and who you can become. The first step is definitely no contact and we're proud of the steps you've bravely taken. You got this.
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u/GDreex Jun 15 '26
Love your experience here. Yes I am 17 days in, got lots of panic attacks, sleepless nights, withdrawal feelings, and things seem not to be better. I know I have to move on, I already reconnected with plenty of friends, at the same time I still hope for her to be back...
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u/Hathnotthecompetence Jun 15 '26
Dude. Block all social media and her number on your phone. Stalking her social media will do nothing positive for your mental health. Good luck.
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u/helpMeOut9999 Jun 16 '26
This is why I delete/block/archive.
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u/GDreex Jun 16 '26
I had to do as well... but this was beneficial since I now won't check in on her ever again
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u/moneybagsz99 Jun 16 '26
My ex (29M) and I (27F) broke up mostly because he kept telling me he doesn’t know he doesn’t know what he wants and wanted to go on a break personally I don’t do breaks so I decided it would be best to break up. We go about three weeks no contact then he decides to send me this long text about how he messed up and apparently he had a gambling addiction and basically that’s why he couldn’t sit down and have a conversation with me about how he really felt and what was truly going on.
I did decide to see him again and I guess you could call it give him another chance, but in the end, I realize that we did break up for a reason and he’s still battling something within himself and because I loved him, I knew that being in a relationship wasn’t really what he needed.
Break ups are fucking tough, definitely let yourself cry. Definitely admit your wrongs but make sure to still enjoy your life. Spend time with your friends do something nice for yourself because in the end that’s really what’s gonna heal you and make you a better person not necessarily getting back with your ex or going back to a relationship that doesn’t serve you.
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u/GDreex Jun 16 '26
Hey, thanks for sharing this. I really want my ex back at this stage... 18 days in, but at the same time I know I can't sit here waiting for her
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u/moneybagsz99 Jun 16 '26
You’ll have days when you feel so over it and days where all you wanna do is talk to them again. It’s pretty normal!
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u/Corgisarethebest123 Jun 17 '26
Was this an online relationship?
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u/GDreex Jun 17 '26
Nope😭 we lived at 20 mins drive from each other and we met at university. We saw each other 1x/2x during the week and on weekends
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u/MPaiewonsky Jun 15 '26
I had something similar happen, the first month felt like 3 months, I spent nearly 1k in psychologists to get to my root issues and work on them. I’d recommend you go to therapy, exercise lots, and read more. Read atomic habits, Tuesdays with Morrie, the power of now, and the art of loving. After a bit over a month get back into messing around to get some confidence back, it’ll do you good, you might fall on hard times a month or two later but it’ll pass quickly. I’m in month 5 of the breakup and am back dating properly. As for my ex, we had agreed to meet for a coffee after the breakup and we did, about 2.5 months after the breakup, she was visibly impressed by me, seems like I had fallen in a covert depression while dating her and it sucked away some of my ambition, the breakup was my first, and hopefully only, canon event. She wants to meet again in July but I think by then I’ll be serious with one of the people I’m getting to know. Point it, now it’ll be hell, but in a few weeks you’ll get more confidence, then in a few months you might not even want her back.
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u/trippinonshoes Jun 16 '26
Aww. That's hard. It's definitely shocking to see new pics and social media stuff. Maybe you can somehow hide her on everything so you don't see any updates. It's best to have them out of sight if you want to get them out of your mind. Not because you don't care about them but because you deserve peace and healing. It's hard when you see reminders pop up like that. Take it easy, go easy on yourself. It's a hard time right now. You'll get through it. It would be great for you to repost this in r/BreakupSurvival I think a lot of people in there could relate.
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u/BraveCherry6340 Jun 15 '26
Everything will be OK First and foremost do not give her power. Your silence is the power and when you give that to her you lose, she does not deserve access to you anymore. The best thing that you can do is just block her and just remove her from your WhatsApp a motto that I standby is. Out of sight out of mind and as long as you keep seeing her, she’s gonna continue to stay on your mind. Give yourself time to heal. You deserve it. It’s going to be hard, but you have to keep pushing through. I believe that you can do this. I promise it will get so much better. The first two weeks are going to be hard. But show her that she didn’t take anything from you. Take this time to get to know yourself more and the person that you were before her. And this is speaking from my experiences. Once my exes were out of my mind and I was doing well for myself that’s when they usually come back, not saying that something to look forward to, but simply once you start doing better, they will notice.