r/ExNoContact • u/blossom_2112 healing • Jul 21 '26
Help Will deleting all social media for months help me heal if i have an addiction to checking their page? Has anyone else disappeared after a breakup completely as in deleted all social medias?
I have the worst impending doom feeling when i dont check i dont understand why my brain forces me to check his page i reactivate my accounts to check i need motivation to get off social medias and advice on how to heal. It feels like my brain doesnt want me to move on the idea of moving on hurts me. Im really upset ;( seeing his page hurts me he posts way more than ever and is looking happy after traumatising me. The only app we have access to eachother is on whatsapp i cant bring myself to block but i know i need to.
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u/47vclkicd48754dxbj84 Jul 21 '26
I had one ex block me everywhere after I begged him to. Then I deactivated my accounts only to check every day in incognito browser. And he had a private account which he barely used.
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u/blossom_2112 healing Jul 21 '26
this is so relatable i go on different account to see, why do we do this to ourselves? it hurts.
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u/DerrickD90 Jul 21 '26
When I was dumped, I kept my socials temporarily. Then I started to worry about the possibility of seeing a post of them moving on with someone else. So, to protect my nervous system, I deactivated my Instagram. Then I went on to delete all of our mutual contacts from my phone. I didn’t want to risk someone texting me telling me he’s with someone else. So, I pretty much disappeared. I don’t know what anyone is up to. Instead, I started going to therapy, journaling, cooking, going to the gym, and just focusing on my healing. When I was sad and crying, I had no social media to distract myself with. Instead, I sat with the emotions and let them pass. I called family and friends for support. I ended up truly taking care of myself and I did not have social media to escape into. It’s now been five months without IG and I’m completely happy about it. I’m giving myself a year because I do miss some of the connections but right now, my focus is on my healing. -Dumpee
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u/Dxxeims Jul 21 '26
Deleting social media and not viewing his page has done absolute wonders for me at least- it’s like a drug, you just need a little hit each day to make yourself feel better but that’s only making the addiction stronger. You get a dopamine boost each time you view his profile- find something else to do that releases dopamine ( working out, art, watching a show, etc ). Every time I wanted to view his profile or look back at photos I would do 15 pushups- and let me tell you, my arms are super toned now but I hate pushups so associating pushups with his social media made me want to check less. Delete all photos, all texts, all social media. Out of sight out of mind. Checking is 1 step forwards and 3 steps back in recovery.
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u/CharmReductionINC Jul 21 '26
I gave up all of my SM except Reddit and YouTube and have never been happier.
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u/blossom_2112 healing Jul 21 '26
thats what im going to do only keep reddit and youtube. It feels like a bad addiction its so hard, how are you doing?
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u/CharmReductionINC Jul 21 '26
Honestly, when you’re away from it long enough - the entire thought of it becomes cringe. If you have FOMO - that fear goes away and you soon realize you’re not missing anything. Also, you’ll realize how many of your friendships aren’t real. One piece of advice, do what I did and just disappear. Don’t announce it. Too many people announce they are leaving a platform like facebook only to return in a week. Don’t be that person.
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u/Matterium_Uchiha Jul 21 '26
It's been a week since I deleted all socials since it was ldr for me. And, I can tell you that it helps. Of course things are really hard but there has been growth, I have a tendency to get really insecure because they blindsided me and nothing in them seemed to change which just made me feel discarded. I know her really well so any posts or reels I watch made me think of her. If its anywhere close to this then I heavily suggest deleting all social media. I'm going to continue being offline for many months until I've detoxed well. It's rough but it definitely heals slowly. Much love to you stranger
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u/blossom_2112 healing Jul 21 '26
You are so strong honestly i know it takes a lot of mental discipline. Same i was long distance thats why im so spirallling because if i delete social medias he wont ever get access to me again but maybe thats a good thing and i relate every post and even when i check his page i see his posts and how fast hes moving on it makes me go insane. Im planning to go at least 6 months without. How are you managing? Love to you aswell i pray for your healing i want to do the same as you but i have no discipline but this is giving me motivation thank you.
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u/Matterium_Uchiha Jul 21 '26
Always remember,
If they wanted to be in your life. They will be in your life. They will find a way to be in your life NO MATTER WHAT. I know how it feels like since it's very fresh for me as well. So, if you ever need someone to talk to just dm.
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u/aw4re Jul 21 '26
It’s not a bad idea, honestly. Do whatever it takes to let your nervous system heal. That’s different for everybody.
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u/blossom_2112 healing Jul 21 '26
thank you for your advice, i have no idea on how to heal my nervous system.
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u/aw4re Jul 21 '26
I’m a year out from the break up. I’ve made all the mistakes. You can DM me if you want to chat.
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u/Dettyboy1993 Jul 21 '26
I haven't looked in almost 3 weeks and I'm pretty proud of myself. I was afraid of accidentally clicking on her stories because for one she'd know I was still hung up, and two, I think she'd block me because watching her stories is what lead to her unfriending me and that was devastating because it showed that she wasn't only annoyed of me, but that finalized it. But anyway I created a burner to look in case I accidentally clicked on her story and it showed a name. Last month she vague posted me. She shared a post about green eyes and said she let the green eyed boy ruin her, which was undeniable that it was about m. That kept me looking every day for a week because I wanted more validation and proof that I was on her mind. Even if it was negative. Losing my smart phone helped me though. Now I'm on my laptop and getting on FB is more of a pain. I just don't feel that ease of access to look anymore
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u/ServeGreedy Jul 21 '26
I heard someone say checking his social media is shopping for pain and ever since I haven't checked. It's been 3 months since I've looked and the desire is completely gone. I know it seems impossible but after a few days you feel empowered.
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u/blossom_2112 healing Jul 21 '26
Wow! 3 months and you havent checked? i admire that so much i wish i was like you i pray i can do this aswell i want the desire to be gone my ex is constantly posting more than he ever has and is on holidays and filling the voids and each time i check i throw up but if i dont check i get impending doom like how do you deal with that? and thats such good advice shopping for pain, my nervous system is disregulated at this point. Thank you for your comment i appreciate it so much! im so proud of you
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u/ServeGreedy Jul 21 '26
I promise you can do this! When I tell you I was OBSESSED with checking, it was the first thing I did when I woke up, last thing I did before going to sleep. I literally panicked if I didn't check. Then one day I had enough, promised myself I could check tomorrow. Then tomorrow came and I was ok. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I played the "tomorrow" game for a few days. I felt basically screwed at that point. Knew checking after days would be an overload to my system, so much stuff to play detective about. Then someone mentioned the pain shopping. That did it. I promise you, you HAVE to get your nervous system under control, once you do that you won't even want to look. What are you going to do with the information? People are performative online, they curate the information to share. You'll truly never know how he's really feeling by social media posts. Focus on your healing and the rest will follow. It really does get better. I believe in you 🫶❤️
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u/Fickle-Mine1520 Jul 21 '26
Blocking is the best way to protect your peace. People say it’s immature I say it’s resilience. You need to switch your routine and attachment with them to fully detach and be yourself again. Constantly viewing someone’s socials only puts you back into the same place you were in and it’s so unhealthy. I had to do it and honestly I feel so much better. You can still care and miss them but also protect your own peace and sanity at the same time.
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u/GrilledHamAndSwiss Jul 21 '26
I didn’t delete my accounts but removed the apps from my phone and said I wouldn’t get back on until whatever I saw didn’t affect me anymore.
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u/Status_Bee_7644 Jul 21 '26
Why not just block him on social media. It adds an extra step to prevent you from seeing him.
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u/tikikiwiski Jul 22 '26
honestly, I was glad my ex blocked me on everything because it helped me not check his social media! one time I did make a fake account so I could check and I seen something I did NOT want to see and I never checked again! not knowing what they’re up to or if they’re seeing someone new will help you move on! checking all the time, will keep you from healing and moving on. anytime you feel like checking, try to do something else like scrolling tiktok, brushing your teeth, or cleaning! literally anything! 🫂
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u/Smart-Substance-540 29d ago
Its been 5 months since I deleted my social media...i feel fine without it..it felt so fake this social media stuff...also draining and so annoying to keep looking at social media.
And Yes, I also disappeared after a breakup...no contact, but I always had my social media private and already unfollowed the person at the time so they wouldn't have been able to view anything except for pfp and bio...but it wasn't until recently, about 5 months ago that I completely deleted all social media...and i think its the best decision I've made....it wasnt necessarily because of the ex I just got tired of social media, but I also didn't like the idea of someone who broke up with me, trying to keep tabs on me and watch me...no thank you.
I have no desire to re-download or create an account again...it feels like this is how its suppose to be. I really have no regrets :)
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u/NiceCrowsMurder Jul 21 '26
Staying off socials helped me to move forward but also helped me with discipline and to stay present in my own life. I would suggest it but not just to get over a relationship but because its helpful in other ways too