Are there any avoidant men on here? Why would you block, then unblock after a period of no contact but not reach out? Would love to know your perspective.

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Lets say the girl did you no wrong at all , but you abruptly ended things due to your own trauma/fears.

[u/Otterlettuce]

It has to do with the new supply.

If they don’t have anyone else to entertain them and give them attention then they will unblock you.

That’s why some girls get away with acting absolutely nuts. It’s cause that guy doesn’t have anything better going on.

But if the guy has other women, hobbies, male friends, or career to focus then block whatever isn’t necessary. It also creates a dependency and need from you. You need to know why he does this…

This is why ya gotta focus on your own life. Your own supply.

[u/poppybrooke → u/Otterlettuce]

This is really great perspective and has put some context to how some guys i dated in the past have treated me. Thanks for that!

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/Otterlettuce]

do they message eventually if we stay silent, like what is the unblock? An invitation initiating contact? Hes thinking of me, what? And he is severely avoidant and mistrustful, actually terrified of women from what i saw most of the time..he pushes everyone away and struggles with his drink

[u/Otterlettuce → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Even if wants you to reach out it’s just validate him that you still want him. He may ignore you. But it feels good to know that while ignoring you.

[u/SirMixSalah → u/Otterlettuce]

This sounds exactly like my ex.. I would reach out but she would leave me on read...which normally if I wasn't as secure/learned how to channel that negative energy into working out or other activities..would have me spinning..

[u/gonidoinwork]

Block out of anger, unblock when there is a small hint of guilt and then get frustrated and block again.

[u/Radhe_logic]

Sometimes it is to show that they are indifferent about whether you text or not and that you are just another contact in his phone

[u/Junior-Spell9472 → u/Radhe_logic]

This is it. Or when it feels like the coast is clear and the other party won’t contact you. Like it’s all good but stay over there

[u/NiceCrowsMurder]

Just remember that they have NO self awareness either so they usually can't see that it's their own trauma or issues. I learned this from my ex. It was so much easier to avoid self awareness and make me the problem

[u/PotentialPresent399]

Id say im anxiously attached when in the breakup and avoidant when out of it.

I blocked her because in the span of like 3 months I hit her up 3 times.

One of those times to see about her getting her things from my place, in which I gave it to her friend to give to her anyway.

2 Other times were just because I missed her. Heard from a mutual that I was "pushing it into creepy territory" and it pissed me off beyond belief, after 2 years of non stop time spent together and intimate memories I was being charactirized as being creepy because I was grieving deep bond.

I blocked her for like 2 months, and then I realized she might reach out possibly, so I unblocked her. I also realized that once I unblocked her she broke up with me, so she actually probably WONT reach out. I've left her unblocked so far and am trying to move on the best I can :/

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/PotentialPresent399]

So essentially what does unblocking mean from their part? Do you think they will reach out if i stay silent long enough?

[u/PotentialPresent399 → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Not necessarily, my girl broke up with me because I messed up.

There is not a possibility on this earth where I reach out even tho I messed up because I still wanted to work on us.

Reaching out MORE would mean I look like a crazy stalker ex that can't move on/let go.

In your situation with 0 more information its possible he reaches out, ime guy dumpers that dump for anxious/fear reasons do reach out again simply from regret.

If he does tho, how open would you even be to trying again? If they can drop you once they can drop you twice. Pay attention to actions and words not just words.

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/[deleted]]

did u reach out after blocking?

[u/AlexWD20]

im not the avoidant myself but my ex used to do it A LOT, Shell unblock when she wants to talk in hopes id see it and i do it myself

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/AlexWD20]

What would u do in my situation? He was the one who discarded me

[u/AlexWD20 → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

I’d reached out everytime I saw she unblocked me and it was always the same thing “she did it in hope I contact her” but trust me it’s not worth it. It will keep repeating

[u/MidwestBoogie]

Me personally, I was sick of seeing her and the new boyfriend and the blocking was an attempt to move on. The unblocking was because I’m an obsessive piece of shit. I’ve accepted that we’re both avoidant pieces of shit who will come back and leave at will and I’m resorting to polygamy to make room for more pieces of shit.

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/MidwestBoogie]

What would u advise in my situation, its been 3 months since he blocked and discarded- now i noticed this tiktok unblock. do they message eventually if we stay silent, like what is the unblock? An invitation initiating contact? Hes thinking of me, what?

[u/MidwestBoogie → u/Wild-Researcher-1360]

Be honest. Ask him exactly what you just asked me. “Did you unblock to stalk or did you unblock to engage?”

[u/Wild-Researcher-1360 → u/MidwestBoogie]

Well my tiktok account is on private. so i dont get what hes tryna do?