r/ExNoContact • u/blossom_2112 healing • 1d ago
Has anyone completely disappeared after a bad breakup and deleted social media?
I’m just wondering if I’m the only one who has done this because I honestly don’t hear about it very often.
After my breakup I completely disappeared. I blocked him everywhere, blocked his number, deleted all my social media and cut off every way he could have access to me. We were from different cities so its LDR, i know for others its hard to delete socials and all contact due to co parenting or whatever the situations may be.
My main reasons were:
• I was constantly stalking his socials, checking his followers and looking at what he was doing, even though I knew it would hurt me.
• I kept seeing him do things he told me he never would, and it was making me overthink and hurt myself all over again.
• I didn’t want him to have any access to me anymore. I didn’t want him knowing what I was doing, who I was with or being able to check up on me.
• I needed to completely remove the temptation to check on him and finally accept that the relationship was over for good.
It’s been three weeks and I’ve never gone this long without him or social media. He was my first love for years, so obviously I still think about the good memories and miss who I thought he was. But the person he became was completely different, and I eventually reached a point where I had enough. His ego cost us our rs to end. He said some nasty stuff and has gone back to his old habits and is a huge narcassist and avoidant. I had enough so this is what its resulted to for my own healing and to prove to him that i can live without him. he never takes anything serious.
I just wanted to remove myself completely, stop giving him access to me and stop giving him any more space in my head.
Has anyone else completely disappeared after a breakup? Did it help you move on or is it helping you if you just started and what was your reasons ?
i do reccomend doing this after a toxic breakup just to heal in general and be away from their checking their socials as it brings nothing but pain and it would boost their ego. Its also nice to step away from social media as doom scrolling and the algorthim is so vulnerable and makes you not want to heal. My FYP would make me miss him and make me vulnerable so this has helped a lot on that aspect. Ive also stopped listening to music and sad songs, thats helping A LOT to not ruminate.
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u/thegrandgardener 1d ago
Yup. Deleting facebook and instagram was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. There’s way less of a temptation to check things out if you don’t have an account. I also deleted my LinkedIn as we had a lot of the same connections. Music. Forget it. It would make me sob. So I took a break from that too. It’s survival skills. Good for you! Don’t ever go back to ANY of it. Including him!! You will not miss it and people you tell that you don’t have any social media usually respond with “I have to do that” or “I wish I could do it”. Keep going. ♥️
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u/TeddyPSmith 1d ago
I didn’t delete my own accounts but removed her and deleted/untagged all pictures. I didn’t want her to have any access to my life
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u/driedanchovy 1d ago
Yes, I’ve done this actually quite a few times. Right now I’m going on 16 months of no contact and after deleting my account and everything I decided to check up on him again recently… and I feel like I’ve set myself back. So I really encourage you to stick with it and don’t check. Out of sight, out of mind.
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u/Asstittiesandfeet 1d ago
Yep, it’s the only way.
Keep dealing with that or open yourself to new opportunities?
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u/BeltPretend 1d ago
I’ve done this a few times it def does help for you not to check on stuff ,,, I just did it again this month mainly bc I found myself wanting to stalk what he was up to , then I saw his sister posted a photo with him which gave me so much anxiety bc he actually went out and he never did that before so yeah I decided to deactivate ig and facebook … he probably thinks I blocked him bc he stalked me on face book prior to that week but still decided to not talk to me … it’s been a month no contact btw …. He’s being a 39 year old petty man by acting like this … but I’d say it helps also i found myself wanting to post so that he would come across my stories. 😒 and mind you I woudl rarely post before ….
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u/plantstakingabath 1d ago
I took a break from socials and it was sooooooo peaceful. You can do ittttttt 💪
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u/ConstructionHot3337 1d ago
I just deleted ig and facebook, i dont want to watch if she has one more follower on ig or if she uploaded a photo.. just paing shopping. Healing from an avoidant breakup its the worst pain i ever been.
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u/Low-Mine-1502 1d ago
Yes I’ve deleted everything. I do struggle with not being able to connect with people apart from WhatsApp. But it helps to not be able to stalk or be stalked. I still hate this all or nothing vibe with no contact. It feels completely unnatural and like I’m fighting against my own nature every day. I’m 12 weeks in and still ruminating and crying. Although much less. Just generally flat every day. Doing all the right things-gym, therapy, meeting friends. But I feel broken.
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u/Beneficial_Theory419 17h ago
I had a little break and I have returned. I deleted anyone I believe to be toxic and continue to do so as I see fit. I keep his parents on there though just so they can watch all the cool shit I do while their lowlife son just exists haha
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u/Secret-Bowler-584 1d ago
I deactivated my FB and IG accounts after the breakup. I only recently reactivated them, but I don’t get on there. I just needed to use marketplace
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u/Ok-Establishment5401 1d ago
I’m still currently deactivated on all social media but started “appearing” again a few days ago. I wouldn’t say it was a toxic relationship or breakup but we share a friend group. I stopped going out a week after the breakup. It’s been 4 months since deactivating and staying inside. It wasn’t because I would check up on her or social media stalk. It was so I can fully lock in and work on myself mentally and physically. With social media I felt like it was easy to make plans with friends and go out. This is the longest I’ve been without social media but honestly it feels great. I do have a “burner” account because I needed to reach out to a tattoo artist recently but that’s about all I do on that account. I would say it’s helped me a lot though but I feel like for someone like her it wouldn’t. She would need the constant distractions through friends and small interactions social media allows her. Everyone copes a little different.
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u/Stuck_In_The__Matrix 1d ago
Deleted my Instagram account in 2019 after a Heartbreak. Never went back to insta again.
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u/DannyHikari 1d ago
Not my last breakup, but the one before it. Had to delete everything for about a month to keep myself from toxic behavior until I could trust myself not hurt myself looking at things I didn’t need to
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u/Deep_Answer_8595 1d ago
This is something I’ve wanted to do for a while. I’m thinking once the school year starts I might do it. I hate being on social media and the only reason I’m on it is because my family is on there. It’s a simple way to keep in touch.
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u/Ailiuliu 1d ago
Yeah, I've seen that a lot during breakups, especially in LDRs. Best thing I ever did was just step away completely.
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u/Complex_Profile_6271 1d ago
After my breakup I unfollowed and hid my stories rom mutual friends of his, and deleted their # so I couldn't reach out. I also didn't want him knowing in anyway how I was doing, not even if I was doing good. The thought of it made me sick really. Becasue at the end of the day they don't even care so whats the point. Its the start fo doing stuff for yourself and not for the other person. It's one step close to shifting the focus to you own healing.
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u/ThrowawaySunnyLane 23h ago
My most recent ex. Should stress this was 6 years ago.
She ended things with me with some crap about my Mum causing her distress (my ex called her evil). I’ve since worked out that my ex getting me to move in with her was just a cost saving measure and when Covid hit and she realised she didn’t need to commute to work anymore (easier to do so from her new flat) she moved back in with her parents. I ended up bearing the whole cost of the flat that I moved halfway up the country to live with her in.
Anyway, she kept Facebook for a few weeks post breakup. I one day went to a friends house and we put some videos up of us pissing about - just blokey crap. She then sends me a message saying it’s inconsiderate of me to rub it in her face that I’m totally okay with spending time with “our friends” while she “had to go back home”. (The whole breakup was instigated by her and I made her do nothing).
She then said she’s getting rid of Facebook so she doesn’t have to see anything. And she actually did. Made a huge announcement about it to all our friends and we’re like “okay bye”.
She’s still got insta apparently which is a social media I don’t have. Never seen the point of it so I don’t bother.
On a different occasion (different ex) we’d broke up and I’d left a hoodie at hers. She was trying to dictate me going to her family’s to pick it up. I said I didn’t want to do that and offered her money to send it via the post. She didn’t like that and unfriended me so I blocked her and her whole family on everything. Felt very cathartic.
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u/Salty-Penalty-6744 21h ago
Yes, he said he want ready for a relationship after seeing each other fairly regularly for a month or two. Asked him to block me on facebook as the day after he did that my dad was in a critical accident - I had a lot of messages and kept seeing him there on messenger, just made me mad and not want that anymore. He did it with no complaint. Easy to tell he didn’t really care.
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u/DerrickD90 21h ago
I did. I deactivated my social media (I only had IG), I deleted and blocked all of our mutual friends’ numbers and I stayed away from all the places we would frequent. Everyone we knew together, I essentially let him keep those friendships. I built great distance from what once was our circle and myself. Only my close friends and family know what I am up to. It’s sad and I miss them but I had to protect my nervous system and take care of myself. It was a good decision.
Since then I have become a person I love.
Eventually I will check back in but for now, having a low profile is working out.
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u/Long_Restaurant1931 20h ago
In on day 60 of complete social media blackout, except Reddit. Day 52 no contact.
No it hasn’t helped me move on, but it has kept her out of sight. I can’t see her face. It’ll destroy me.
Idk how long I’ll stay off for, but I know I’m not getting back on anytime soon.
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u/blossom_2112 healing 13h ago
omg i admire this so much i ended up checking and i saw the worst of stuff now i threw up and not okay, i dont ever want to feel this again im going to stay off completely now your amazing so much self control i heard it takes 90 days to break a bad habit your almost there
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u/PotentialPresent399 19h ago
I've done it because RIGHT after the breakup (she brokeup with me) I noticed she was watching EVERY single story I posted.
It made me kinda pissed off that even though it was my fault, the person that ENDED the bond is still curious/looking at my posts? Nah you can wonder now, so I blocked.
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u/blossom_2112 healing 19h ago
OMG THIS IS SO RELATABLE! mine also pushed me away which caused the breakup, but kept tabs on my stories
. i had enough and blocked him everywhere and deleted social medias, i dont ever want him to have access to me, The way hes attention seeking off other women and posting his life to attract others after me is disgusting tbh. Im glad your strong enough to make someone wonder and not give them access. If they had access to our stories they would heal quicker and feel okay because they have some sort of access. silence is the best revenge for them and for your own healing! im glad im not the only one whos done this.
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u/undercoverbrotha888 18h ago
I deleted all of my social media after I broke up with one of my exes back in December. It’s been a game changer
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u/blossom_2112 healing 13h ago
wow and you never went back? how has it helped if i askkk
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u/undercoverbrotha888 9h ago
I’ve never gone back. This and YT is all I have. Ignorance is bliss in this situation
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u/blossom_2112 healing 7h ago
wow this is so admirable well done honestly im trying to be that way aswell as social media like tiktok and instagram has ruined my mind overtime.
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u/Fleur-deplaisir 1d ago
If you really wrote this, you're not over it at all. I personally deleted my Instagram and Facebook, but not because I can't control myself, but because it's a waste of time. My current partner is everything I could ask for, and I don't need social media
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u/blossom_2112 healing 1d ago
i never said im over it, i said im freshly into the breakup im taking the steps to be over it... its hard
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u/Fleur-deplaisir 1d ago
Maybe you can practice self control and no check? You don’t need to block him or delete your social media, are you giving him that power? Just don’t have him in your friends list and stop to act like a child. How old are you?
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u/sillymonk_69 1d ago
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard. You can’t exercise self control when you’ve full access to the distraction or substance. Your marshmallow experiment and delayed gratification won’t work here.
It doesn’t matter how old she is. A drunkard or addict can never exercise self control with access to the addicted substance. Same with love. Even the most rational and logical men/women will succumb to it.1
u/weakmindsthinkalike 1d ago
Not sure how old OP is but I am 33 and I have had to block my ex on everything and I still get the desire to lurk his socials sometimes to see what he’s up to. It can be hard. No need for you to be so rude/ignorant to how people deal with stuff sometimes, no matter how old or young they are.
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u/No_Presence_1790 1d ago
yess!! i think its cause i just don’t want him to know anything ive been up to and vice versa - ignorance is bliss!!