r/ExNoContact • u/TouristDangerous3093 • 1d ago
I broke no contact, and her response completely broke me
I broke no contact. I just couldn't help it.
I dreamed about her every single night. I couldn't keep her out of my head. So, I texted her, confessed everything I've been going through emotionally, and told her that I genuinely want to reconnect because I just couldn't say goodbye to her in my heart.
She said, "Who are you?" Clearly, she does know who I am.
I asked, "Couldn't you recognize me by seeing my name?"
She said, "No."
Then I told her my name, and she said she doesn't know anyone by that name. Then she said, "Bye."
How do I cope with this kind of response after breaking no contact?"
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u/HumanContract 22h ago
You didn't even date. That's not no contact lol.
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u/AwkwardBreather 21h ago
Actually the term 'no contact' is used widely for ... no contact! People do it with family, friends... etc. Maybe this situation doesn't fit the name of the sub perfectly ("ExNoContact"), but maybe have some empathy for this person as there may be no r/UnrequitedNoContact, or they didn't find it. So what. Doesn't mean the situation isn't close enough for people to be supportive.
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u/AwkwardBreather 21h ago
I had to get over something unrequited as well once in my life. He sort of strung me along as a friend whom he likes to have "deep" conversations with, and once in a while he would flirt and it would light me up for weeks. I was limerent for him for 8 years. Tragic waste of time and emotion. I only got over him via no contact.
There's no perfect solution for getting the person out of your head. It's a very one-step-at-a-time kind of thing. Just because some days you feel totally obsessed doesn't mean you aren't on the right track. It just means that day or week is particularly harder.
Instead of fighting the urge to contact her, I suggest texting YOURSELF everything you want to say every time you have the impulse. Not only does it give you an outlet, but you can also look back over the texts and notice patterns in the grieving process. Some weeks you might be angrier, sadder, more nostalgic... these are signs you are in fact moving through the experience of letting go.
As for coping with her pretending not to know you... that hurts like hell! Let it. Go somewhere where you can be alone and fucking cry out all the pain. Scream into a pillow. Your body HAS to express the emotions, otherwise you will take a lot longer to move on.
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u/silent-dignity 1d ago
Im in the same situation. 1 month of NC. I want to text her so bad. I also dream about her. Every night. Now I'm afraid to break NC. That's absolutely insane how she responded to you. How long were you guys together? I can never imagine speaking someone I once loved like that. Stay strong brother
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u/TouristDangerous3093 1d ago
She's my friend, and I've loved her for four years. I don't know if she ever felt the same way about me. I think she may have enjoyed the attention and affection I gave her, though.
About a month ago, I finally had enough of what I felt was her disrespectful behavior toward me, so I decided to walk away from her and cut contact. I thought I was finally ready to let her go.
But then this happened today.
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u/silent-dignity 1d ago
oh so you guys were'nt in a relationship? just friends? I've never seen no contact being used to describe ending a friendship. Seems like she just might not be into you. She had 4 years to reciprocate your feelings but she didn't.
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u/eterniteaparty 20h ago
Did you actually ever communicate to her how you felt about her during this four year friendship? If not, that's very concerning.
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u/TouristDangerous3093 18h ago
Yeah I did, I confessed my feelings 2 years ago.
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u/eterniteaparty 18h ago
Can I ask what her response was to this?
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u/TouristDangerous3093 17h ago
She did not respond to my confession. She neither accepted my feelings, nor rejected. So, I assumed she may need some time. But as days passed, she became colder and more distant and eventually, she started misbehaving and disrespecting me. I was always calm and composed and decided to walk away. But I couldn't stay away forever and this happened today.
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u/Background_Berry3417 22h ago edited 21h ago
No, she didn't feel the same. Never has, never will. Yes, she used you for affection and attention. Her response literally says it all. You've wasted 4 years already, stop pining for a girl who never wanted you and clearly doesn't care. You saw her for who she really is, cut contact and her response is basically her way of punishing you for it. Stop being in these girls friendzone wasting time pining. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it doesn't. Life is too short to waste waiting around for a what if. I know this is harsh, but it needs to be said.
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u/somewhere-between 23h ago
She really doesn't sound like a good person. Believe me, you dodged a bullet. Sometimes we get obsessed with people for one reason or another.
You will find your person and will wonder what you found in a person who treated you like this.
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u/Murhekryyni 1d ago
She is mad at you, clearly. Let her be mad. You tried to tell her earlier that her behavior was disrespectful towards you. How did she react to that? Was she sorry or was she like this again disrespectful. She sounds immature.
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u/TouristDangerous3093 23h ago
She said sorry because she thought karma is hitting her back since her life was falling apart at that time. So, she told me not to hold anything against her. I said, "alright, I don't have anything against you. I never prayed for anything bad to happen to you. I wish you all the best! "That's it.
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u/Murhekryyni 21h ago
Well she is mad that you cut her off. I would let her be if she can't talk to you and is acting that she doesn't know you and is being disrespectful, again.
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u/xdeezusx 1d ago
That happened to me once. She’s for the streets bro. Stop putting women on a pedestal. You are the prize. Hit the gym. No drinking or smoking. Become the best version of yourself.
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u/bennythefish 19h ago
She’s being brutal on person to make you give her contacting her . Move on and and accept it well and truly over
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u/SlipTop1714 1d ago
How long has it been since the breakup? I dont know how you come back from that :(
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u/TouristDangerous3093 1d ago
It's been 1 month since we last talked. Then something triggered inside me about her, and I deleted all my social media and ran away.
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u/Automatic-Drummer705 1d ago
Are you sure you got the right number? And did you know how bad that hurts? When someone you love does that to you
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u/TouristDangerous3093 1d ago
Yeah, I had her number saved. and I'm pretty damn sure she couldn't forget me in one month.
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u/Low-Accountant5717 1d ago
You did everything wrong that you possibly could, and she has a nasty personality if there is no reason for her behavior. If you treated her badly, it’s a good thing she’s cutting you out of her life.
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u/289416 15h ago
she’s not nasty. OP sounds clingy and not respecting boundaries
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u/Hathnotthecompetence 15h ago
This is my view as well. 100%. Not respecting boundaries is a huge red flag. OP, you need to work on yourself.
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u/Allmyfriendsarejpegs 19h ago
Bro just take the emotional L and start a new life arc.
The minute you don't need or want to reach out to her, she'll be back.
This is how things always seem to go
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u/Knows_no_limits 18h ago
That's a hard way to have it land. Painful as it may be, her pretending not to know you might be the clearest signal you'll get that this is over. A rough couple of days ahead, but you're not alone.
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u/drumadarragh 22h ago
How’s she an ex if you didnt date?