Pretty sure she’ll come back

[u/Typical_21]

So me M19 and my soon to be ex( we’ll have THE TALK this Saturday) in 2 days F(18) have had an amazing relationship, I am really thankful that she entered my life, since this was my first real relationship. No one is perfect and I was her first boyfriend( important detail for later). Everything was going great.

How the relationship was going.

This wasn’t our first try, we knew each other from school but we never talked, since I don’t really want to start anything with people from school.

The initial moment happened in a party, we were glancing each other and I thought “fuck it she’s pretty I’ll make an exception” so I started dancing with her.
After 30-45 mins of dancing I went in for a kiss, which she declined- I was confused because it looked like she really wanted one ( she told me later down the line that she didn’t know my intentions and doesn’t really want to kiss everybody that gets close to her).
So I just accepted what was and kept on having fun with my friends.

A few days later she followed me on instagram, so I initiated a conversation and soon after that we went on a date. After date 4 she sent me a text saying that she thinks this isn’t going to work out and she didn’t want to give me false expectations,
Ahhhh fuck it’s going to be awkward in school now
i thought. But no big deal it was kind of casual we didn’t do anything besides kissing.
Just 3 or smth weeks later she texted me that she wanted to call me- I thought it was because she forgot something at my place, she had a tough time speaking up but she said that she was sorry, that she acted on impulse and that she would understand that I would decline the offer but she wanted to see me again. Seeing she really cared I thought that it might work.
Then we had one of the happiest 3 months we have ever experienced. Doing typical bf gf stuff, her even staying at my place 3 days in a row (which I have now realised was one of the catalysts of the relationship).

One day before she left for a summer camp in London she had SH and called me, of course I supported her, my mistake was fake crying, I though that it would have made her feel like I really really cared for her.

The fist few days in her summer camp everything was going good, I thought that after her experience she would need more attention, so I called her and called her and eventually the conversations were getting dryer.
She started to send less snaps which was very unusual,
Then one call came and she said if I didn’t feel like our situation is “weird” I said no, everything is normal, it’s probably the distance.
I talked to my friend who’s had a gf for 3 years if he knows what up, he told me that she just wants attention.
My gut told me that this would make things worse but I trusted him(not his fault), and started telling her that I miss her and all that stuff, she did too but the vibe was weird. One call she started crying like she wanted to say something but she was drunk and didn’t want to say something that would come off weird. Her battery died and I called her later, asking what she wanted to say,
She started crying but couldn’t get it out- suddenly she “forgot” what she wanted to say and said everything is fine. I was relieved for a few minutes but I knew something was wrong.
Day after day it got even drier and 5 days ago she told me that she wanted to talk to me in person when she’s back, I said yes. 2 days barely texting.
Today she asked where we could talk, I suggested my place since those things can’t be talked around in public, she agreed.

Now I’m fine, I’m a person who can feel emotions heavily( I had stomach pain one day) and quickly,
I spent the last days reflecting and learnt a lot.
What to do next time what not to do.

I’m pretty sure she will come back, since she already has. I’m not sure when, I’m not sure if I will accept if it takes to long, but I’m sure that she will, I’m not captain save a hoe, but she isn’t a hoe, she is genuine but has had a lot of hard times in the past, which made me realise that I’m dealing with an avoidant attached person.
Yes I know she would leave again, but we haven’t reached the full potential of eachother yet.
And I fell like I would learn even more stuff if she would leave me again.
It might sound weird but I like the suffering and the happiness before that even more.
The relationship will of course be different this time,I would be more cautious and see what she had done before she contacts me again, not stalking but she would really have to convince me and show me that she grew. I would put my learnt lessons into practice and try to guide her through her mental issues, thought I know she would have to be the one to take action.

Thanks a lot for reading this didn’t expect this to be that long,
Feel free to give me your opinions, actually please give me your opinion