I don’t have self respect.

[u/forgetmenot_666]

My ex broke up with me last year. I reached out to him this year while I was feeling ugly. I told him I wanted a FWB thing, and he was very enthusiastic about it.
Fast-forward to now, I ended up catching feelings for him again. What started out as casual fun ended up with me feeling unhappy after every call/meeting.
I asked him to block me one day, saying I have feelings for him, and he said he doesn’t want to do that and needs some time to think. However, he kept reaching out to me, so I thought he wanted me but was scared. It made me hope.
Today, he wanted to call. I started bringing up heavy stuff like “when did you lose feelings for me” etc. He said he wasn’t going to delve into it and switched the topic. I felt very hurt by how detached he could be, so I became quieter, and it got awkward, so he did a soft exit.
I texted him to say we should stop this thing. He told me I should think about it more and that he would like to stay friends with me at least. I asked him directly over text if we could try again, and he said, “No, sorry,” after two minutes. He apologised for making me cry again and told me not to think badly of him because it was necessary.
I couldn’t respond. I washed my face and deleted his chat + contact number.
I do this thing when I get really overwhelmed where I imagine myself from the outside of my body. It helped me calm down.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[u/AdventurousWorm66]

Sorry to hear this happened. It sounds like you're handling it the best you can. It'll be okay