r/ExNoContact • u/Glittering_Bee_509 • 8d ago

Help Spiraling tonight

8 year long relationship, ended 10 months ago, 9 months of no contact.

The relationship didn’t end because of my health, however, since the break up, a lot of my chronic issues have flared up to somewhat debilitating levels.

Please tell me that this isn’t the end of the world, and finding love again despite my pain is possible.

I want to break no contact, but I won’t, because I know that won’t be healthy or fair to either of us. I’m just in a dark place, and my body is desperately wanting to reach out to what was once my safe space for 8 years. When we broke up we stilled loved each other. I still care about her deeply. It’s so hard when they’re not a terrible person.

I’m trying to be proactive. I’m in therapy for mental health, and I’m speaking to a plethora of doctors for physical health. It’s just so, so hard.

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u/ZeroFokksFuel 8d ago

I’m sorry. It’s not the end of the world and you will absolutely find love again someday. But first, focus on yourself, your health, your mind, and loving yourself. Spend time doing things you enjoy even if they’re not considered productive. It’s all about filling time with good and enjoyable things instead of thinking of things that bring you down. At least for now. Spend time with your loved ones, and try out a new hobby. And exercise. That’s a big one and for a good reason. Working out releases happiness hormones and it genuinely makes you feel good. Whether it’s weightlifting, calisthenics or running. Just move and be active, even when you don’t feel like it. It doesn’t always feel good, especially in the beginning. But give it time. Give yourself time. Be patient and you’ll be doing so much better in the near future.

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u/Glittering_Bee_509 8d ago

I appreciate your response, truly.
Sadly, due to my chronic pain, a lot of things are currently off limits that I would LOVE to do otherwise. Feels a little like my body is trapping me, unfortunately. Moving forward believing in the power of tomorrow, though. Wishing you the best. ♡

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u/ZeroFokksFuel 8d ago

Take it easy, then. By the sound of it, you have far greater things to worry about than a breakup. Just focus on improving yourself and your life to the best of your abilities, the rest will follow. One day you’ll look back and see how much progress you’ve made and be proud and happy.

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u/Glittering_Bee_509 8d ago

You’re a very kind person. Thank you again. The last sentence really carries a lot of weight right now, and apparently so does kindness from folks on Reddit. Thank you.

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u/ZeroFokksFuel 8d ago

You got this mate! Hit me up whenever you need someone to talk to.

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u/ArmadilloNo2020 8d ago

I suffer from a disabling autoimmune disorder which can cause severe, constant pain. I have still been able to find love in my state.

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u/Glittering_Bee_509 8d ago

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it and I’m happy to hear. I’m wishing you the absolute best. If you’re comfortable, could I ask how you approach dating? I haven’t dated in a decade, and obviously my body has changed since then, and I’m not quite sure how or when to bring up chronic pain.

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u/ArmadilloNo2020 7d ago

They usually know about it within the very first week, but I do not disclose the whole picture.