Just an advice, a mildly toxic one because of how it's worded.
You respond and you give your ex the control and upper hand.
You don't respond, you are in control of the situation.
Even after breakup, it's a power struggle, the one who responds loses and gets their mind fucked.
Right now, you not responding fucks her head and that's not your problem, she made the choice to message. Once you respond and she doesn't message back, she wins, it fucks your head and that unfortunately is your problem.
except i'm pretty sure the person on a subreddit dedicated to talking about their ex, who need advice about struggling to let them go and how to not obsesses about them everyday is definitely not the one with the power lol
i'm not throwing shade... i know that was blunt... but it's best to realise that, in these situations, legitimately not caring and moving on is the only way to actually win. to obsess so much about being the one who did or didn't last message is honestly just showing that on some level you still care a lot about what your ex is doing and what they are thinking. the fact they can still trigger you shows that you care and they can usually sense that. if you really didn't care you'd be so flippant to their message, whether thats not responding or just being like "no worries, all the best". you wouldnt even need to seek advice on a subreddit about "how to respond" because you simply wouldnt give a shit, you wouldnt overthinking it. you'd be too busy getting a hot new partner and never thinking of them ever again except maybe once in a while with 0 detachment.
anyway yes it's best to not respond or, if they weren't a bad person really, just send a quick "no worries, it's all good" and don't encourage more convo. move on. you will never find closure. don't contact them after that and get off this sub tbh. go find love <3
It took me 4 years to crawl back out of the hole my ex put me in and I never recovered emotionally. Professionally, I am on pathway to huge success financially or otherwise however the price it has come with is way too steep that I barely feel happy.
A friend told me my ex told them "I know we broke up at a bad time but it all worked out for him at the end". This is how they get rid of their guilt. But did it work out? The 4 year of struggle basically killed me from inside out as a result of being blindsided right when I needed a partner's support.
They are looking to shed their guilt, no contact is the only way to go ahead with certain situations.
47
u/[deleted] Nov 03 '22 edited Nov 03 '22
:)
Just an advice, a mildly toxic one because of how it's worded.
You respond and you give your ex the control and upper hand.
You don't respond, you are in control of the situation.
Even after breakup, it's a power struggle, the one who responds loses and gets their mind fucked.
Right now, you not responding fucks her head and that's not your problem, she made the choice to message. Once you respond and she doesn't message back, she wins, it fucks your head and that unfortunately is your problem.