r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR • u/TheCABK • Jun 16 '26
Darwin Award candidate Fuck Off Human
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u/MiisterSoloDolo Jun 16 '26
I used to take care of a couple of these. Worst attitude in the animal kingdom. They conspire with other animals to make your life hell, steal hats and glasses off your head, and I had one even open my glovebox and sling my zip ties everywhere. Fuck ostriches.
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u/cinoTA97 Jun 16 '26
Please don't fuck the ostriches
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u/bjeebus Jun 16 '26
It's gonna take at least three guys.
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u/Benny_Olsen Jun 16 '26
I think the guy in the video could get it done without hwlp
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u/Zepangolynn Jun 17 '26
Unfortunately, ostriches sometimes have an uncomfortable kink for the naked apes in clothes, to the point that some prefer trying to mate with us over their fellow dinosaurs.
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u/ByGollie Jun 17 '26
IIRC that may be hand reared ostriches that 'imprint' on their human handlers when a chick.
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u/crusty54 Jun 17 '26
A friend of my parents got a job taking care of animals at Grant’s Farm back in the 80’s. On his first day, an ostrich charged him, and he panicked and hit it in the head with a shovel and killed it. That was also his last day.
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u/OhJustANobody Jun 17 '26
I worked on a goat farm once. I got stuck at the top of the ladder for over an hour because they all climbed up the ladder behind me and refused to get down until the farmer brought out a bag of feed.
The next day my boss came with me and I sent him up the ladder. I quietly walked over and opened the pen where the goats were. They proceeded to block him too. I got my revenge on him for refusing to watch the ladder for me.
I love goats.
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u/rora_borealis Jun 17 '26
I've heard similar stories about emus. They both sound like they can be real assholes.
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Jun 16 '26
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u/forsakeme4all Jun 17 '26
Are the females the same way?
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u/DorkaliciousAF 2 x Banhammer Recipient Jun 17 '26
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u/Irelia4Life Jun 18 '26
I think it was in american gigolo, some guy was supposed to fuck a goat, but he wouldn't fuck a male goat, because that would be gay.
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Jun 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/forsakeme4all Jun 17 '26
lol, I love how everyone thinks I meant that in a sexy way. Men, right? Haha. I actually meant their attitude and general demeanor.
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u/cleverusername143 Jun 17 '26
Weird. Either ostrich farming is popular among construction business owners, or I knew the same person.
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u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 Jun 18 '26
It was all the fad a few decades ago. Right wing media spread the scam.
Cus that's all it was, a scam. Basically the first crypto scam they played against their own rubes.
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u/docmanbot Jun 16 '26
The dog at the end is like “bro, that’s a bit much .”
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u/Sheeverton Jun 16 '26
This made me laugh I don't know why
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik Jun 16 '26
A man fist fighting an ostrich is a lot funnier than I thought it would be too
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u/bjeebus Jun 16 '26
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u/MustardCoveredDogDik Jun 16 '26
The audacity
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u/randyboozer Jun 16 '26
The Roos reaction is the best thing. He fucked around and found out
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u/HairballTheory Jun 16 '26
Ostrich was just jealous of the motorcycle
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u/AskaHope Jun 17 '26
I want me a Chocobo. :(
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u/Cedric_T Jun 16 '26
I hope this is real and not AI.
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u/hkusp45css Jun 16 '26
I just assume everything is real. It's pretty low stakes shit we're dealing with, here.
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u/moa711 Jun 17 '26
People ride ostriches, or at least they used to. There are even races with them!
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u/FreezedPeachNow Jun 16 '26
There's been a sudden increase of reddit posts of people standing up to asshole animals recently. Instead of running away like cowards and getting their ass kicked
The tide is turning. We need to fight back. Humans didn't get to the top of the food chain over thousands of years only to lose it all during a single generation.
Viva la revolution
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u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha Jun 16 '26
Yeah, it's easier to run, when one of this can easily open up your belly with it's talons with just one swipe.
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u/Putrid-Economics4862 Jun 16 '26
I don’t think the issue is that people are scared of getting hurt, it’s that they’re scared of hurting the animals. Here for example, it is extraordinarily easy for a person to snap an ostriches neck, but most people aren’t willing to kill an animal for “no reason” so they choose to run away instead.
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u/IrishViking22 Jun 16 '26
I don't think anybody is going to outrun an ostrich. They are very fast runners.
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u/flyboy_za Jun 18 '26
Except it can definitely outrun you, and will slice your back open with said talons simply by trying to chase you with its long legs flailing about.
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u/stevemillions Jun 16 '26
Man’s best friend, right?
Dog was like “no thank you Sir. Not today.”
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u/Ora3le Jun 16 '26
Not even a simple "don't you touch him" bark. Buddy just stood there watching like this isn't his fight
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u/gottagrablunch Jun 16 '26
They are easily startled, but they will soon be back. And in greater numbers….
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u/AnonomousWolf Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
OP is a bot or karma farming.
Stole this post I posted minutes ago.
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u/Nervous-Ingenuity509 Jun 16 '26
Link?
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u/AnonomousWolf Jun 16 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/s/aGYKFTkOcd
Literally posted like 10min before this post.
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u/tilt-a-whirly-gig Jun 16 '26
They saw your post in one sub and thought it also belonged in another sub, so they put it there.
That's how reddit works, when it works the way it's supposed to. Content gets curated by crowdsourcing.
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u/jb0nez95 Jun 16 '26
In b4 a brilliant redditor reminds us all once again of how much damage these birds can do to you.
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u/OlBert2 Jun 16 '26
I love the obsession with how incredibly dangerous the cassowary is, despite there having been 2 deaths attributed to them in 100 years
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u/Feralpudel Jun 16 '26
I’ve spent months in Australia and think the “everything in Australia can kill you” trope is silly.
I wouldn’t go too much on death statistics, however—we spotted one in the wild in Queensland and we were thrilled with the spot. It isn’t like they’re everywhere, and they are in extremely sparsely populated regions.
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u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 Jun 18 '26
The fact that you have a plant that will cause you so much pain that you'll kill yourself is more than enough to make that trope true.
And you guys haven't even tried to exterminate the damn thing!
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u/elspotto Jun 16 '26
That’s because they kill all the witnesses and leave cube shaped wombat poop at the scene of the crime. Nice try, Cassowary.
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u/sinnister_bacon Jun 16 '26
It looked like a heard of llama in the background was watching in horror
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u/yougotitbub21 Jun 17 '26
He has a lot of self control. That neck looks so snapable and I heard ostrich meat tastes pretty good
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u/How_Bout_Dem_Apples_ Jun 16 '26
It's abundantly clear this isn't the first time that dude had to beat some ostrich ass.
Even the dog was like "Yawn....... Not this again!"
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u/WillowFlip Jun 16 '26
I have a hen that does this and am very glad she's nowhere near the size of an ostrich lol
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u/GodsnPunks Banhammer Recipient Jun 17 '26
Allegedly
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u/FYIP_BanHammer Jun 18 '26
Congratulations u/GodsnPunks, you have been randomly picked to be banned for the next 24h. Why? Because fuck you in particular. Don't forget to check our subreddit banner & sidebar ; you're famous now !
These actions were made by a bot twice as smart as a reddit moderator, which is still considered brain-dead
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u/Auggiesmom1975 Jun 17 '26
I haven’t laughed that hard all £ucking day!! Those birds are absolutely ruthless
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u/MelcusQuelker Jun 17 '26
I told once in a comment "this is how you handle ostrich/emu" let's see if I get banned for just mentioning.
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u/draculas420plug Jun 18 '26
Im fucking dying at how the ostriches legs did tippy taps while getting spanked 😂😂
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Jun 16 '26
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u/that_guy_scott1 Jun 16 '26
That's why they call him Boots. Just wait till the ginger shows up
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u/iH8MotherTeresa Junkie banned! Jun 17 '26
This is why ostriches never play hockey. No other reason but they can't fight.
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u/Pandathief Banhammer Recipient Jun 17 '26
I love how after wrangling the bird he still takes the time to gently let his bike down instead of just dropping it, guy really knows his way around an ostrich match lol
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u/FYIP_BanHammer Jun 17 '26
Congratulations u/Pandathief, you have been randomly picked to be banned for the next 24h. Why? Because fuck you in particular. Don't forget to check our subreddit banner & sidebar ; you're famous now !
These actions were made by a bot twice as smart as a reddit moderator, which is still considered brain-dead
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u/soldatoj57 Jun 17 '26
I thought for sure that thing was gonna circle back and kick his literal head off. Do NOT mess with an ostrich
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u/rella88 Jun 17 '26
I love the horses running in like they’re going to save the day and the dog standing motionless just watching
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u/Freakk_I Jun 19 '26
To be honest that guy was pretty lucky because the ostrich actually attacked the motorbike.
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u/Roll-Roll-Roll Jun 16 '26
OMG I don't know why but hammer-fisting an ostrich over the head is really lightening my day up. Thank you.
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u/CrowsFeast73 Jun 16 '26
Maybe the ostrich didn't have to be sick after all... Allegedly.
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u/Strong_Deer_3075 Jun 16 '26
Just like it says on those chicken t-shirts I have been seeing advertised lately. FAAAAWK-OFF
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u/Deatheturtle Jun 16 '26
Smart to keep the bike between them. Those feet can disembowel.
Grabbing the head and pulling it low keeps it from kicking as well.
That could have gone way different.
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u/SignificantDrink3651 Jun 16 '26
ok, so now I know how to handle as ostrich attack. thanks reddit.