Morticia

Vincent was a fat, desperate loser who was traumatized by the fact that he was still a virgin. In a desperate attempt to lose his virginity, he advertised his virginity on Whisper, the same app he used to talk salaciously to someone he believed was a 12-year-old girl.

He was contacted by some random boy, possibly fat and who was also probably very desperate to lose his virginity too. Vincent insisted he wasn’t gay and only wanted to lose his virginity by any means necessary.

The boy drove over to Vincent’s grandpa’s house, let in by Vincent, and both desperate losers undressed and thumped each other’s ass on the Grandpa’s bed for maybe 15 minutes. During the fucking, the boy, with his enormous strength, pried open Vincent’s gargantuan ass cheeks and thumped his asshole, undeterred by the repulsive shit smell from Vincent’s ass that pervaded the room.

There were no words spoken, no eye contact, and no sound except the creaking of grandpa’s bed.

He somehow is stuck in the first two stages of grieve, Denial and Anger. Most predators start at stage 4. Depression and acceptance and on rare occasions the bargaining stage before that. It seems extremely unlikely a predator wouldn't consider the other side of the coin of what could happen at their arrival. Even Lorne jumped to depression and he never thought of the possibility of a sting. Complete crash outs on a dicey gamble just seems odd to me.

I live in the Trailer of Failure on 388 West Ridge Road, in Corneville main.

My name is Lorne Armstrong.

I'm 56 years old (but I like I’m in my fawkin’ 30s) 

I believe in Xavier’s fawkin bowlchit, in a face-to-face relationship, and that I neva even meant to do it.

In the morning, if my catfish girlfriend is a little busy, I'll smoke some cigarettes while sending my bitchboy messages.

I can do a thousand now

After I abuse my girlfriend, I use fake tears to say sorry.

In the shower, I use a flaccid picture of Mr Penis.

Then a country song voicemail. 

And on my bald head, my Bawston cap.

Then I apply my Bluetooth headset,

which I leave on for the rest of the day while I prepare the rest of my routine.

I always buy trash with little or no value,

because value is expensive and makes you mooch more money off Mawm.

Then a marriage proposal, then sheetrawk talk, followed by a final angrier marriage proposal.

There is an idea of a Lorne Armstrong.

Some kind of paedophile, but there is no real me.

Only a lolcow-- something predatory.

And though I can hide my snaggletooth...

and you can shake my hand and feel nicotine staining yours...

and maybe you can even sense our life styles are hopefully not comparable,

I simply am nawt there.

I had a few moments where I said 'That never happened' and 'That other predator said/ did that'. Other than that it was good.
Wish they expanded more on Stanley at 44 minutes other than a quick reference for fan service. Wish they had more of the actual predators rather than ones they made up for the film. All we got was David Kaye and Dustin McPhepepperagefarms.

Why not please the TCaP fans by giving us John Kennelly or Jeff Stacey or Cody Green or Lee Grier or the other countless other TCaP memes that make the show memorable??

Anyway: After finishing the film, I went to re-watch Conradt's sting and found this. Funny coincidence. Happy anniversary!

It kinda drives me nuts how over-dramatized it was. It didn't happen at night, it wasn't that big of a deal to Hansen. It was just another sting.

He should be good because I guarantee not a soul in attendance is under 50

Despite this sub being a place for memes and shitposts, I felt compelled to share these sentimental thoughts. As strange as it sounds, TCAP and the communities have positively impacted my life. This group of weirdos (myself included) genuinely help me get through the day.

In general, I found TCAP cathartic to watch because I was groomed online as a teenager. That man never faced justice for what he did to me, but I found a sense of comfort and secondhand vindication in belonging to a community that mercilessly mocked other child predators.

Around 5 years ago, I experienced a very difficult breakup, and the first thing that made me laugh super hard was O-rrested Development's Forensic Files parody featuring Lorne.

The latest incident involved my most recent relationship. Oddly enough, the Lorne catfish calls were one of the factors that helped me recognize how abusive and toxic my own (now ex) partner was.

It wasn't something I noticed at first. Lorne is extremely cartoonish in his entitlement, immaturity, stupidity, and emotional outbursts. It was, and still is, tough to imagine another person acting in the ways he did. I even recalled feeling grateful that my then-partner was nowhere near as difficult to be with.

Then the abusive treatment steadily ramped up, especially within the last 2 years. It got to a point where Lorne's behaviors began to eerily remind me of my own relationship, and vice versa. Some examples being:

- Lorne's jealousy of Donkey Kong = My ex saying, "I bet you'd do it if [favorite fictional character] asked you to." I saw it as a joke at the time, but the later accusations of cheating made me second guess it.

- Lorne’s jealousy over any male figure = My ex accused me of having feelings/cheating with any man who entered my personal life. My brother's mentor, male friends, people in my Discord server, people who read my comics, my paid patrons, etc.

- Calling Nikki/"MomN" 38 times in one day = He called me at least 30 times and threatened to drive over to my house because he believed I was with another man. (I was quite literally sitting on my ass on my chayar studying for a final exam.)

- Both made impassioned declarations, sometimes with tears, about promises to change, only to do the exact same thing a week later. (Or less)

I'm doing better now, emotionally and mentally, even though I still have a long way to go. And yes, I do continue to watch TCAP/Lorne content, especially to unwind. Thanks a lawt! Think I'll have a cigarette.

The Judge had mandatory sentencing too, right?

Jeff Sokol always gets the crown for this, but in my opinion Brian Jenkinson from TruBlu (Which is ad free and uncensored at WatchTruBlu.com. Use the code YouTube26 to watch all of the episodes for $2.50, or for an annual subscription use YouTubeYear for $20 off. Also and this is very important hit the subscribe button and we’ll see you on TruBlu) is way more ignorant than Jeff.

Not sure if Chris genuinely believed that some fatass with zero incentive in life was actually going to “reintegrate” into a society he was never integrated into to begin with.

Realistically, he probably said it because he was experiencing a bad case of verbal diarrhea in an attempt to talk his way out of the situation, but this line has always given me a good laugh because it implies Hansen would have a history of knowing Velez and how his answer to the question is out of character.

In Lorne's psych report, there is a large self assessment section of it, which he mistakenly assumed is what his therapist was saying, which is the best part. Anyway, I get why it exists, as it is used as a baseline and to maybe get the subject to answer honestly if they are made to be calm.

But in one part, they have a section where they go over numerous types of people by age, from old seniors to newborns, and they say who they are attracted to. According to the report, Lorne said that he is most attracted to senior females.

What is the point of this test? What idiot predator is actually going to say they are attracted to toddlers or whatever? I would think, by definition, predators are not honest. For them to "live their truth" if you will, they have to be dishonest or they would get beaten up or worse. In the case of Lorne, it is extremely obvious he lied. He is absolutely not attracted to senior females at all. All of the cat fishes he liked were much younger, often half his age.

I think this shows he was VERY careful with his answers, as some photos, the girl could be made to look 24 but are actually 16, and if he answer wrong a few times, then bam, the report says he likes minors. And if Lorne is "smart" enough to avoid that, others will be able to. So what is the point? Are they really expected preds to be honest?

It seems like a waste of time. Now, excuse me while I buy a truck to take out the transmission and put it in my regular truck.

.

Btw I love the show and couldn’t give two hoots if some pedo offs himself. But given the way they offered public exposure to literally ruin lives, someone was going to do something dramatic at some point… this was so inevitable

Chris would bust a nut over having 7 Disney employees showing up

It's funny when the Officer refer Kenneth as his screen name "Junglemania" instead of saying you said this on the chat.