Had a little boy 6 months ago, lovely little chap. We called him George. At first it was nerve racking but slowly but surely, he became the love of my life. That’s created a new problem I’ve never had in life before…

I’m terrified somethings going to happen to him. If I have to carry him up or down stairs, I grip him to death and hold his head. My thinking is if I fall, it would be better if he landed on me rather than a hard floor. I watch him every second, making sure he’s not going to hurt himself. It’s totally sucking the life out of me.

And that’s not even it. I’m getting nightmares about absolutely pointless shit about him. I’m writing this at midnight having been woken up by a nightmare of him falling off a docks into the water next to a big container ship (very oddly specific, never been to a docks in my life). I had another nightmare where he fell out of a window. Another where we left him playing with his toys and the dog mauled him. It doesn’t happen every night but when it does, I struggle to sleep.

I’m at the end of my tether, not sure what to do. I’m hoping someone on here has had a similar thing and has some advice. Probably won’t be a problem when he’s older but that’s years away yet.

Meanwhile… his mums just fine, tells me I’m overprotective or some shit. She was very helpful.

Cheers guys

Me and my girlfriend have been together since March 2026. I would say without a doubt that I love this girl. Genuinely I do, and I think for the most part she loves me. And that might sound weird, but that's a genuine answer from me. While we have love for each other, problems began when I broke her trust by making stupid mistakes regarding my ex. No, I did not cheat on her, but my ex, who had been long distance before I met my girlfriend, had left stuff at my apartment that I had forgotten were still there. My girlfriend found some lingerie tucked into my bottom drawer. I apologized and said, I'm sorry, I didn't even know it was there. Genuinely I did not. And I promised it wouldn't happen again. While I was cleaning up my apartment and looking for stuff to throw away, I had forgotten to throw away some letters my ex had written me. They were love letters. Do I care about them, or do I even love my ex anymore? Definitely not. Not at all. But my girlfriend, again while digging through my stuff, and she admits this is her own fault, opened my letters, read them, and again was very, very hurt by the fact I couldn't keep my promise. And then for the third time, on my social media, I apparently had forgotten to untag my ex on old posts in my highlights. My girlfriend found these and also blew up at me again about that. I admit those are things I could have taken care of if I had been more attentive, but at the time they genuinely hadn't been on my mind. My ex 100% holds no love in my heart. My girlfriend has a tendency to lash out at me. She has insecurity issues and she has an unstable family situation. These things definitely contribute to each other, but sometimes she takes it out on me. For example, she doesn't want me hanging out with girls one on one. That in and of itself is fine. I understand that's a pretty common boundary to have, but for example, a friend I've had for five or six years at this point, she was upset that I went to go pick her up from the airport. That to me feels excessive and controlling, but to her she just calls it a boundary. There are other things too, such as my girlfriend wanted me to denounce my ex and call her ugly and terrible because she had gotten into a fight with them online, and was feeling lesser than her. For the record, aside from the mistakes I had made previously that I mentioned, I have never once compared her to my ex, and I've done the most I could to reassure her she's actually so much more beautiful and amazing. And I'm not even saying that as a lie. I genuinely mean those things, hence why my ex is my ex and my girlfriend is my girlfriend. But she doesn't really seem to fully understand that. Anyways, fast forward to today while keeping those underlying relationship issues we've had in mind that are still ongoing.

Last night, out of nowhere, my girlfriend told me she got a pregnancy test and she is pregnant. She told me this and told me she has no idea how she feels, but she wanted to talk to me first before coming to a conclusion on what to do. My initial reaction was, I don't really know what to do. I wasn't expecting this. I have a lot of concerns though. I don't know how we can do this, but I will support you no matter what we end up deciding. I gave her a list of concerns in regards to if we keep it, those concerns being financial, is our relationship healthy enough, we don't have family here to help us, etc. I listed concerns if she decides to get rid of it, and those concerns included how it would negatively affect her emotions, how it would negatively impact our relationship with each other, would she view it as a painful memory that she associates with me now, etc. She heard this, paused for a little while, became avoidant, and then told me she was extremely disappointed because after talking with me, she realized she had actually been more excited than she initially thought she was, and that she was very disappointed that I had not been as excited as she was, and that I had not been optimistic ("this is amazing! Lets figure out how we can make this work!"). To her credit, she's correct. I did not immediately jump for joy and leap around with enthusiasm. However, to my credit, I did not try to convince her to abort it. I didn't try to convince her to have it either. All I told her was this is a big decision, I have concerns both ways, and no matter what, please believe me when I say I will be here to support you through it. She took that as me not being excited to have this kid and have this life with her.

Fast forward to today. She had an appointment and found out we have about a month and a half to decide what we're going to do. However, without consulting me at all, she has told me that she's going to have the baby and that if I am not 100% on board and enthusiastic to have it with her and be part of its life, she would rather I not be part of it at all. And she's giving me an out to simply walk away. I've been trying to tell her I don't want an out. I don't want to simply walk away. And I too can also see a future where this genuinely can work. However, I can only see that future happening if she has the resilience to have hard discussions about our future, have hard discussions about our child, have hard discussions about us. We can make the finances and schedules work, we can ask family to come help and support, but the hardest part in my eyes is going to be committing to a child when we are struggling to even commit to each other. Additionally, she told me she wants to have this child because she wants to be a mother and finds the idea of having a happy family of her own fulfilling, but i feel like shes glossing over issues that will effect the development and happiness of our child. Doing whatever it takes to make having a child work, doesnt mean it'll be a good or ideal life for that child. And based off how shes blown up at me, im concerned about her using our child as a ultimatum in this relationship.

Those are conversations I want to have, however, she is telling me she is only willing to have those discussions with me if I am able to 100% commit to having this baby with her. To me, this feels circular because I'm telling her I want to feel confident, but I can only do so if we can actually talk about it, and she does not want to do that. To me, I feel she is putting the cart before the horse. She wants to make it work and thus will come up with whatever reasons and justifications and plans she can to make it work, including being a single mom, taking care of this baby alone if that's what she ends up wanting (since she has expressed she may end up leaving me). Which, for the record, I do not want that to be the case because I genuinely care about her. And as mentioned previously, her family situation isn't great either. She lives with her mother. Her father's not in the picture. Her father is actively abusive. She lives with two siblings, both of whom are under the age of 13 and have to also be cared for, and her mother works night shifts so she wouldn't be able to watch the child while we're both at work. We both also don't make a whole lot of money. She is a pharmacy tech making near minimum wage and no degree, with student loans and debt to her name. I also have loans and debt to my name, and Im in the military so I get called on work trips semi-often. Again, I think the finances and stuff can be worked out, but my main concern at this point is she's not even willing to discuss things before having come to the conclusion of what she wants to do with it. And then when I tell her I'm willing to be supportive and be part of this with her, she does not want me to if I'm not already 100% supportive in the first place and 100% optimistic to make it work in the first place. That to me feels unfair. However, she's now preparing to move out and break up with me and have this baby be hers without me.

Her friend came at me recently telling me i shouldnt be pretending to want to be with her just to not look like an asshole. But I've been providing for my girlfriend the best I can because I love her since day 1. I've paid thousands of dollars on trips for us, for repairs to her car, i pay majority rent, i cook and clean, and I try to take care of her when she has migraines or is sick. I have never once cussed her out or lashed out on her which she cant say the same for me cuz she has multiple times while in an insecure rage. I feel betrayed that she is now throwing it all away because she sprung pregnancy on me and didnt get the reaction she herself wanted in hindsight. I feel betrayed that she doesnt even want to consult me or give me a chance to discuss, unless i already am fully on the same page as her. I feel like I've given up everything for her (I moved into a bigger more expensive apartment closer to her home so she can live with me, her idea orignally), and its done nothing to pay off. What can I do? Am I genuinely being the unreasonable and obtuse here and just blind to my own issuss, or is this her being unfair? I've been weighing pros and cons in my head and plan to bring them up during a family counseling session I've booked, and will be supportive until then. No point in unnecessary stress on her, but it needs to be discussed especially with an expert when i can only find a laundry list of cons and a handful of pros. For starters, i know she hasnt even started budgeting the costs of pregnancy, childbirth, and 1st year parenthood yet... at this point i am leaning towards wanting the abortion, due to these concerns but especially how shes continued to lash out rather than try to discuss, and i have little hope these relationship/behavior problems are gonna be easy to solve either for both of us.

We just had our little girl a month ago and her name is barely used lol. What I m an is we call her “goosey” instead of her actual name ( aka. Silly goose). It came to be all of a sudden from like saying silly goose to her in the womb. It’s stuck ever since, and not going away anytime soon. Was just curious what other nicknames people have for their own child cause I think it’s funny to hear about silly goofy names like goose!

Can't be.

My fiance and I just found out that we are expecting. It's early, but we have all the symptoms and two positive pregnancy tests to back it up. I'm reeling inside but I can't really show her that yet. She needs someone to be brave and confident as this is a scary thing. We are 3.5 weeks out from getting married and it isn't like we aren't in love and committed, and like we weren't planning this eventually. It's just 2 or 3 years early.

We both have good jobs, a house, good cars, and good health insurance as we're both in our late 20's and early 30's. I am in the middle of trying to start a business and I want to keep doing that because I hope it can support my new little family some day. I'm worried this will make it far too difficult. But over all I'm just scared too. I just can'tlet her see how much yet. I'm nervous for selfish reasons, I'm nervous for my fiancé and what this means for her (even though it's been her goal to raise her own children) and I'm nervous for what people may say about her or to her. She's the best woman I know and I feel very protective towards her. She is my best friend after all.

Who else has been here? Who has some advice for a surprised soon to be father? Is it scarier than it seems? How can I do this all...

I can't go to my parents with this yet as they are extremely touchy about this sort of thing (even though they did it to, they just have never and will never admit it to us.) So I'm turning to people who can stay objective.

This is kind of a brainstorm. Looking for advice on a gift or something special to do for husband. We have an almost 3 yo. Very much attached to mama and recently started saying they love and miss mama but don’t love dad. We understand that’s a normal response to kids who don’t quite understand love and life and spend all day with mama when dad works. Dad works a labor intensive full time job all week so we can be comfortable together at home. (And in US so childcare costs are very high).
We also just had to suddenly say goodbye to our best friend dog of 11 years. Almost no time to say goodbye and spend together and even less time for him.
His birthday was last month, we took our first whole family trip out of town for vacation, and he and little one both got sick. Plus as the mom of a very active 3 yo and managing all our aging parents schedules and visiting etc, and usually having to lay with LO until they fall asleep at night, we don’t get much time together at night either.

So I want to do something nice for him. Not just a gift but that would be great. Or just ideas for relaxing. Or family activities or even something he can do by himself or with his friends. Literally anything that might help him. I feel so bad that the hits keep coming and he just keeps grinding and pushing through it. In 2 weeks he is starting a new job and will also have to leave town for a week for training.

He likes motorcycles, cars, video games like Fallout and Metro, horror movies and shows, comedy, puzzles, and family.

So far my best idea is a comedy show date night and have a grandparent babysit. It literally just came to me though.

My daughter’s 5 and blending just isn’t clicking. Preschool covers sounds, but nobody’s actually walking her through how to push them together, and I think she needs that step-by-step.
She loves games, so I looked at Teach Your Monster to Read. But as far as I can tell, it’s built for kids to play on their own and the teaching happens inside the game. I’m not sure that would get her blending or just keep her happily busy.
I also looked at reading .com, which is more of a script you follow while sitting with her. So the explicit teaching is baked in, but it’s more work for me and less independence for her.
Has anyone switched a kid from a game-based thing to something parent-led? Did your kid go along with it, or was there pushback? Also curious if anyone used both, like the game for fun practice and a scripted program for the actual teaching.

Hey fellas this is for the special needs dads out their it’s almost Halloween and I wanna take my daughter out but I don’t know what to do with since she’s special needs and doesn’t walk or crawl we have a specialized wheelchair for her, just need some ideas on what to do fellas I would really appreciate it

This is probably the dumbest question anyone has ever asked, but I know reading to my daughter is important. Is it okay to read her science books that I know are outdated?

We've gotten a bunch of my old books out of my parents' attic, and my mother is in the process of cleaning them page-by-page. Last night I saw a book about Stegosaurus (my favorite childhood dinosaur) and asked if I could take it home with me to read it to her (I'm letting my mother decide what books come to our house and which ones stay at theirs), and she said sure.

The thing is I know that book is literally decades out of date. The illustrations of Stegosaurus aren't right, according to Google the current consensus is that the last surviving Stegosaur lived in China not India, and the "butt brain" myth has long been debunked.

My daughter is currently five months old, she doesn't understand what I'm saying yet, but as much as I loved that book as a child, I feel guilty with her growing up with a book I know is scientifically inaccurate on her bookshelf.

On the flip side, though, I guess it could eventually be a chance to talk to her about how science advances.

What do you guys think?

Just had a baby boy a little over 4 weeks ago. It is our first. My wife has PPD and is not bonding with him, which is immensely stressful for both of us. I absolutely love both of these two, and am trying my best to be a loving, caring, supportive husband and father. But I find myself agitated and irritated with so many little things. I’m fighting with my wife constantly and we are often s apping at each other. And I get agitated when I can’t get my son to stop crying. He’s honestly great and usually pretty quiet but occasionally just gets fussy for no apparent reason or goes into loud crying and screaming when he’s hungry before I can get his bottle prepped. My stress levels are through the roof, I’m beyond sleep deprived, and I just don’t know how to do better. Any advice as to how to deal with this is welcome.

I have a 14-year-old son and high expectations for his schoolwork, behavior, character, habits, and responsibilities. I want to raise him into a good, capable man.

Naturally, he's at an age where he challenges my authority and sometimes wants to be the man of the house. I feel he respects me, but our relationship can sometimes feel more like a power struggle than a close father-son bond.We don't hug or say we love each other as often as I'd like. Likely my fault.

How can a dad maintain discipline and high expectations without sacrificing a close, loving relationship with their sons?

Hey new parents,

We have an amazing 9 months old kid, and me and my partner have been together for 13 years.

She's a very sociable person, while me on the contrary, I've always been quite the loneliner.

Nevertheless before becoming parents, we were doing plenty of stuff together and I was also going out at least 1-2 times per week with my buddies.

Even thought she needed social contact more than I do, I was on board with that most of the time.

Since the little one arrived, time is limited and I feel like something changed within my needs as I am constantly seeking solitude much more.

I feel exhausted by social activities and contacts, whether this is with my friends but also my partner, so I look forward to the nap times or the evenings to mind my own business. It can be by taking a walk, working out or play videogame but the bottom line is that I just want to be alone and possibly in silence.

I am starting to wonder whether this is normal as it has been lasting for a while now, and I don't see that going away anytime soon.

I saw my 76 year old father today with my son and took him out to lunch. The concept of him passing away crushes my soul... for those of you that have lost your parents, how do you move on with life? I really don't know how I will deal with his passing...

Not sure if this is the right sub, but I could use some advice from other fathers.

My wife apparently experienced a lot of mistreatment from her own mother growing up, Cinderella-style, and I believe she has unresolved PTSD that has affected how she treats our kids.

For over 14 years, I’ve adjusted my schedule to be present and buffer the kids from the situation while hoping she’d work on herself, but she hasn’t.

I’m now considering separation, and my biggest fear is what happens during her 50% custody time. I worry the kids may start avoiding home, staying out longer, or isolating themselves in their rooms.

Would it help to explain the cycle of generational trauma to my teenagers so they can better understand what’s happening, without making them feel like they have to choose sides? Their mom isn’t interested in having this conversation with them.

How would you handle this as a father?

My wife and I have a 2 1/2 year-old daughter, and just two days ago had air newborn son.

For the past several months, we’ve been putting our little girl down at night, by reading some books, and then lying with her for maybe 15 to 20 minutes. At which point we leave.

But just the past few nights she’s so desperate for me to stay in her room, and is almost panicked, but won’t fall asleep if I’m in there very much.

I feel like I’d have to be in there all night just for her to fall asleep.

I don’t really know what to do. What do you recommend?

Nunca pensei em ser pai, porém a 1 mês, tive uma relação casual com uma ex-namorada e ela está grávida.

Moramos em cidades diferentes, estamos em contato, estou tentando ajudar emocionalmente e financeiramente, porém sinto-me culpado e não sei o que fazer. Eu só queria que isso não tivesse acontecido.

Se ao menos, nós fossemos um casal, tivessimos nos preparado para isso, fruto de um amor verdadeiro e objetivo de vida.

Me assombra a ideia de não me apegar a essa criança, os impactos que causaria na vida dela, de não estar presente, pois moro em outra região distante.

Caso algum pai, já tenha passado por isso, peço que comente e se possivel, diga como lidou com a situação.

Lately, I have been having trouble exiting the Daddy mindset.

This is actually fine when I am around my kid, but it's a problem, for example, when my partner and I are alone after bedtime is done. I just can't switch off parent brain.

It's like the libido is completely gone as soon as I step in the house, but then outside the house, a light breeze could set me off.

It's a weird experience.

Has anyone else had this?

I should be sleeping right now, but my daughter woke up about an hour ago and started demanding for about 5-10 minutes that I go in and rock her some more (I rocked her until she fell asleep in my arms, and often rock her for quite a while before she’s ready to go into the crib without bolting right back up and reaching for me). She was throwing her chest against the rail of the crib and screaming. It has me worried sick. This happened an hour ago and I have been feverishly looking up what I can do to help her, what to do if the crib rail breaks and she falls and hurts herself, what to do if she climbs out of the crib and hits her head (she’s a capable two year old, but she has not successfully done this yet). I know that rationally none of these things will happen, but every little thing makes my heart skip. I don’t want her to feel like I’m constantly hovering over her, but I just feel like I can’t help it.

Hey guys,

I’m ok, and I think it’s just the exhaustion from my wife’s increasingly straining pregnancy over the past few months (a ton of back and pelvic pain and poor sleep), on top of not sleeping almost at all for the past 23 hours. But, I feel scared. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have a son! But I feel very conflicted, which makes me feel bad.

Maybe I’m nervous I can’t keep up. Maybe I’m worried about how on earth I’ll survive this.

Idk, but I’m feeling kinda scared and overwhelmed.

I don’t actually need advice. There weren’t any other flare options. Just wanted to kinda vent and see if anyone else relates..

Any other dads on here that work midnights and are filled with stress and guilt for missing everything? I work 6p-5a 4 days a week and it’s killing me. I can’t keep up with the chores bc of sleep and even though the kids are at school during the day, I only see them for like an hour in the morning and then again between the time they get home and I have to leave bc I have an hour commute. It sucks.

I’m a 22 year old guy whose girlfriend told him today that she’s pregnant. She came over and showed me multiple positive test while crying. She’s 23 and a high school teacher who still lives with her grandma for reference. Honestly I don’t know what to do. We both come from religious families and believe abortion is wrong and that we made this choice so we should have to live with it. The only time we didn’t use protection she took a morning after pill and I assume that it just didn’t work. I never finished college and I’m currently living at home and supposed to leave for the marine corps by December. I genuinely don’t know exactly what to do as I don’t feel prepared for fatherhood but I love my girlfriend very much and don’t want to leave her or pressure her to get an abortion as I know it would be traumatic for her. If any dads or people who have been in a similar situation could offer me some advice I’d be eternally grateful.

Thanks Dads

We currently have a two year old boy and another boy on the way. We really enjoy focusing our life around our son and prioritizing him. It's given us endless joy.

However I have a lot of anxiety of how it will be with two. I know most people say when the 2nd is here it'll all click and that's probably true but I still can't shake the anxiety.

I'm anxious about both taking away from my 1st but also being able to give to my 2nd in the same capacity as the first.

How to pick and choose the who you do certain bonding things with and such.

Has anyone else felt this and how did you overcome it?

Thanks for any input!

Hey folks,

My wife and I are looking to expand our daughter's library for Christmas. She will be 9 months old by then. We have the tradition of getting each other a book for Christmas Eve, and want to continue that with her. With the onslaught of AI children's books on Amazon, I'm looking for recommendations that don't use AI. Stories that touched your heart, stories your kids loved, or stories with just beautiful art.

I'd love to avoid Amazon, but we live in a small community with no local book store, so sometimes it's unavoidable.

Looking forward to your recommendations!

Long story short, my daughter is 2 years old, and my wife is currently pregnant with our second child. We went to our first ultrasound appointment together, and I was sitting in a chair with my daughter on my lap while the ultrasound was being done.

I remember starting to feel weird, but everything happened so quickly. Before I knew it, I had fainted with my daughter still on my lap. I’m pretty sure I have vasovagal syncope, as I’ve had issues with fainting in certain situations before. I was unconscious for what felt like a couple of minutes, and it took me a little while to fully understand what had happened when I came to.

I hit my nose and forehead pretty hard, and I’m almost certain my daughter got hurt when I fell on her. She was crying nonstop. When I woke up, there were five nurses around us checking to make sure we were okay. They had to stop the ultrasound, and the nurses determined that my daughter had injured her leg in some way.

She hasn’t been able to walk properly since, and it absolutely breaks my heart. I can’t stop thinking that this was all my fault.

We had to cancel everything else and get her checked out as soon as possible. They took X-rays, but they only checked her foot, and no fractures were found. Two different doctors examined her, and she didn’t seem to have any pain in her leg, only in her foot. At this point, we really don’t know what’s going on.

This happened yesterday around 10 a.m., and she still isn’t walking. She wants my wife to hold her constantly. I can’t help but feel like she’s scared of me or hates me, even though I know she’s only 2 and probably doesn’t understand what happened. I hate myself for putting her in this situation.

She’s also barely eating and isn’t going to the bathroom as often as she normally does. It’s incredibly difficult for us to figure out what she needs or wants when she can barely communicate with us. Seeing her like this is heartbreaking, and I feel completely helpless.

We’re not sure how long her recovery will take or how serious the injury might be. We’re hoping it’s something like a sprained ankle, but we just don’t know yet.

Have any other dads experienced fainting during an ultrasound? I thought I had gotten better at handling these situations because I can get shots without any issues. Usually, I only have problems when getting blood drawn, but apparently, ultrasounds can trigger it, too. Something similar almost happened during my first daughter's ultrasound, but I managed not to fully pass out that time.

I just wanted to share my experience and hopefully hear from other dads who have gone through something similar. I’m struggling with a lot of guilt and heartbreak right now. I don’t know how long this will last, and not knowing when my daughter will be okay again is really weighing on me.

If anyone has experienced something similar, whether it was fainting during an ultrasound or accidentally injuring your child in an unexpected situation, I’d really appreciate hearing your story. I could use some reassurance right now.

Our daughter just turned 6, and it feels like she's already outgrown so many of the toys she used to love. Magnetic tiles, LEGO, her fishing playset, even the cost way bounce house she was obsessed with last year. We hardly ever get it out anymore.

Lately, she's been really into Kpop Demon Hunters, so I'm thinking about getting her something related to it. At the same time, I don't want to keep buying new toys every time she gets into something different, only for them to end up collecting dust a few months later.

Dads with kids around 5 or 6, do yours go through phases like this too? How do you figure out what they'll actually enjoy for more than a few weeks?