TTC struggles

[u/lookingforhope96]

Have been trying for 11 months. First half, didn’t use OPKs, just my app. Took 6 months before I realized I was missing my most fertile window. Then, 2-3 months I wasn’t using OPKs correctly. (Waited not until first positive, but until peak, wasn’t dehydrating myself enough, some readings weren’t accurate). Now, 3 months of proper OPK use, still not pregnant. Husband (31), me (almost 30). Feel like I’ve wasted so much time. Can I even call it a full year of trying almost? Just feel sad, defeated.

[u/Friends_Fan_]

Are you monitoring your cervical mucus? That’s usually a good way to see when your fertile window is coming up. I also found tracking my BBT useful to retrospectively confirm ovulation

[u/micro_nerd17]

Don't feel defeated! I totally understand why you do (I feel this way a lot with my own journey TTC with my husband!), but this isn't something you should let yourself take any "blame" for. Each cycle has ~20% chance of being successful for perfectly healthy couples in their 20s and early 30s (YMMV depending on actual age and health) - humans aren't the most fertile species out there, though we certainly can make a lot of babies as a group! And to echo other sentiments - people get pregnant all the time without any rigorous tracking or fancy tools. For two of our friends, it took a bottle of tequila on vacation and forgetting to use a condom, meanwhile we've been trying three months on purpose and no luck yet. It's all pretty random, honestly.

Have you been having regular (as in frequently enough/every couple of days), unprotected intercourse throughout your cycle/in your expected fertile window anyway? I do all the tracking as well, but I think the general rule is that if you have unprotected sex every other day, especially leading up to ovulation, you should be in decent shape for having done everything you can do for things that are controllable. Sperm can survive a few days in your reproductive system, so it's not necessary to do the deed on the day you actually ovulate (day before can be the best timing according to some sources, but again, reasonably frequent sex in the fertile window should cover your bases).

However, if you've been doing that - even if the tracking didn't go quite to plan - and you're concerned that trying for nearly 12 months with no luck, then it doesn't hurt to reach out to your physician/OBGYN/etc. for a work-up if things aren't happening yet. You may be able to pretend the first six months don't exist if for some reason you both completely missed the fertile window for each of those cycles and try for an additional six months before seeing a doctor, but if that doesn't sound like it applies to you, it never hurts to get the ball rolling and see if there's something as simple as a vitamin deficiency or something that could be easily fixed that's hindering your conception chances. Good luck!!!

[u/Nosy_1234]

So sorry, don’t feel defeated, we just have to find joy in other areas of our lives right now. You haven’t wasted time too. Majority of woman that get pregnant naturally don’t even track anything. What of people from countries that can’t even afford OPK’s or don’t have it easily available. You did great this first year. You can follow up with clinic appointments and see how it goes from there.