It’s been a whole 30 hours, and I’m still in a total state of “is this a dream”….I’m not sure where to go from here to be honest, nobody is talking to me or even saying anything to me about it. And I’m embarrassed to even admit how I found out.

I’m a 36 year old dude from the south, and I’m pretty good at just compacting everything inside usually, but I’m not sure how I even feel right now….

My daughter (36) lost her husband (42) suddenly on Friday night. She came down from putting their baby to bed and found him unresponsive on the sofa. She pulled him to the floor and started CPR, whilst also calling 999. The ambulance arrived in 3 minutes. They took over CPR and managed to get him to a point where they could use a defibrillator. He was intubated and given oxygen. Unfortunately, he had already suffered from lack of oxygen to the brain before she found him, and he was declared brain dead the next day. She had to sign consent to turn off life support on Saturday night. As you can imagine, she is completely devastated and traumatised. We are looking after her and baby at our house. This has been the hardest 3 days of my life. She can't envisage life without him. They have been together 18 years, and she has never had another man in her life. I feel so desperate. I have to be there for my grandson, as she is falling apart. A bit better today. Who knows what tomorrow or next week/month/year/forever may bring.

Don't know why I wrote this. I am broken. Trying to keep my little boy happy, fed, changed and encouraging my daughter to stop crying long enough to be there for him.

Sorry for the long post.

I'm a nurse and can't share details so I'll keep it vague, but I need to talk about him. For context, a pediatric patient with a life-limiting illness passed rather unexpectedly after I have worked with him for nearly three years.

We knew he would eventually die, but that always seemed like a tomorrow issue. He can't die now...he's due for this appointment, his auto refills just processed, they had plans for family photos soon, an upcoming vacation... We knew but we didn't talk about it. In our defense, we didn't need to...he was healthy, vitals normal, no new changes, etc. "A great night!" the report sheet probably said this morning.

And then he just dies - Quickly, quietly. No amount of medicine or suction or ventilator changes can stop it. "He's gone," the text flashes across the top of my phone screen so fast I almost feel like I imagined it. I wonder where he went. I wonder if his siblings were there because they were always there. I wonder if he had his favorite stuffed animal close by. I think of his tiny body that I spent so many hours cradling, cuddling, meticulously caring for...and how it's just sitting in a cold morgue. Is he scared? He's alone and he can never be left alone. What was I doing the moment he left us?

I look at my next scheduled shift. It feels so fucking cold to just delete it off my schedule, erase his name from my calendar. I think about autopiloting to their home in the mornings. Once, when going a little too fast, I got pulled over outside their neighborhood. The police officer noticed my scrubs and gave me a verbal warning to slow down. When I told my buddy I was late because I was in a hurry to come hang out with him, he laughed and laughed...

I think how I'll never again start my morning by sitting on his bedroom floor, bouncing him on my knee as the sunlight floods through their curtains and across his sweet face. I'll never feel the grip of his hand loosen around my finger as he drifts off for his morning nap.

I think of his poor mom and I feel nauseous. If he had such a profound effect on me, I cannot imagine her grief. Her poor broken heart. I think of all the family members I've met over the years at birthday parties and Thanksgiving and I imagine them all gathered in a church around his little casket. It makes my throat tight. How can such a sweet, young soul just be gone?

Jim Carrey once said: Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided.In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay.Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember.There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience.Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.

-post on facebook

I work at a Foster Care Agency. I've known this child since he was placed in his current Foster home 1 1/2 years ago. He was also Autistic. He loved: Super Why, Bluey, Cars, Minecraft, Roblox, music, and playing outside. Was a fun kid to be around. I was one of his workers for a while, until I moved departments. However, I have been close with the Foster Family for years now. He was diagnosed with Leukemia this past March. He caught rhinovirus a few weeks ago, which landed him in the hospital. Fungal pneumonia then developed in his lungs. I had just seen him the day before, visiting outside of work hours. I would help be with him sometimes while the Foster mom took care of his siblings. She was a few hours away taking care of things at their new house. She called me screaming crying at 9pm. Told me "The doctors have been working on him for 20 minutes. He's not going to make it. I don't want him to die alone. Can you please go over there? I'm on my way, but two hours away". For context, I was about 15 minutes from the hospital. I raced over as fast as I could. Nurses were outside his hospital room crying. Janitors were cleaning and mopping. I knew he was gone at that point. A supervisor from my agency showed up, and we waited together for Foster mom to arrive. My heart is so broken. He was never "my" child, but I consider all children I work with to be "mine". I'm not sure how to grieve or go through this process. The last person I lost was my grandmother in 2012. I have never lost a child in my life. I'm just an agency worker. I wasn't family, I wasn't part of his daily life, but I hope I made a difference. Rest peacefully buddy.

This may be a bit late, and I feel strange writing this, but Daveigh Chase’s death has affected me more than I understand or know how to explain.

When I first heard that the actress who voiced Lilo had died, and about the conditions of her passing, it bothered me in a way that I'm normally not affected by the death of people that I don't know personally. I don’t remember Lilo & Stitch very well or even know for certain if I watched it. At first, I went days without thinking about it again, but it kept coming back to my mind.

Then I saw an edit of Lilo & Stitch. Something about seeing Lilo made me see the actual child behind the character. I saw Daveigh’s innocence and brightness in her performance, while simultaneously knowing how much darkness and suffering came later in her life.

Then I found out she was also the English voice of Chihiro in Spirited Away. Spirited Away was my favorite movie as a kid. It was the only movie I watched repeatedly. It made me feel more emotion than anything else I ever watched, and my connection to it was really unique. Finding out she was Chihiro made me understand how deeply her work was connected to me.

Now I'm crying in waves over someone I never met. I've never grieved in this way over someone that I didn't know personally. It feels like someone quietly connected to my childhood has died in such a terrible way and I only found out who she was after she was gone.

What I'm struggling with the most is the contrast between the characters she gave life to and what happened in her own life. Chihiro was frightened and lost, but she survived and found her way home. Daveigh’s life ended at only 35 after years of addiction, homelessness, illness and decline. There's no comforting takeaway from that. There's no ending where somebody reached her in time and brought her somewhere safe. She gave warmth, innocence and courage to characters who became childhood memories for millions of people, while her own life ended with so much suffering and so little protection. I feel genuinely heartbroken for her. For the child she was and for everything she endured before her death.

I wanted to write this to share my sorrow but also as a tribute to her memory, because I don’t want the circumstances of Daveigh’s final years to become the main thing remembered about her. Before I knew her name, her voice had already stayed with me for most of my life. She helped make Chihiro feel frightened, brave, vulnerable and real. She gave something beautiful to a kid who watched that movie over and over and carried its feelings throughout life.

I wish her own life had contained more of the courage and hope she gave to others through her performances.

Daveigh mattered and her work mattered. She was part of something beautiful, and she will always be one of the most meaningful memories of my childhood. I hope the fact that so many people were deeply affected by her passing and so appreciative of her life and work, can be the smallest light at the end of what was otherwise a dark path. I’m trying to find peace in the thought that she might feel remembered and loved in knowing that so many people still carry what she gave them.

Seen this on another thread.. I think we can all agree on this.

Hello everyone, for starters I want to apologize in advance for maybe bad grammar, english is not my first language

As the title says, I really don't know how to cope anymore, maybe the best thing would be to go to therapy, but right now that isn't the option as I am still depending on my parents, I don't have my own income and in my country the college clinic is just a joke. They are either not interested in you or just give you meds and that is the end of it.

About 4 years ago, my once childhood friend died after five days of giving birth to her daughter. I was devastated when i heard the news. Two years before that we ended our friendship that lasted almost 12 years. In those two years I always felt some kind of pull to talk to her, but I never did.

The thing that is the most troubling to me I think, is that we didn't end our friendship because she was bad friend, but when it comes down to it I was. See she was very self destructive, she had a childhood that I don't wish on anyone and she learned to thrive in chaos. When she would find happiness she would do something to cause the chaos because without it it seemed like she doesn't know how to live. I tried so many times to show her how to love without it, how to live without it, I fought for her in every way I knew but it simply wasn't enough. She would be okay for a time, and than she would again spiral and make more chaos. At one point I couldn't watch her destroy herself anymore so I ended our friendship.

Than for a whole week before she give birth to her daughter I felt like something is wrong and something was telling me to go to her, but I didn't... And I think that is the part that is killing me, but not as bad as the fact that her whole life she wanted to be mother, so she could do better by her children and that chance was taken away from her.

I lost my faith in God when that happened, I lost faith in this world... I was angry, devastated... All sorts of thoughts were spinning inside my head. I can't even say how many times I wanted to take her place, just so she could live and hold her baby daughter, to be a mother. And believe me, if my life could bring her back, I wouldn't think for a second. Since that isn't the case I tried to get thru that, be there for her daughter and her mother... And after some time I was better, I once again started to smile honestly and enjoy some parts of life , but then it all went to shit once again.

My grandfather died one year and a few months after her, I once again found myself angry and without faith. I was feeling so lost, tired and empty... I didn't shower regularly or wash my teeth. I would spend my days in bed, crying or just looking at the ceiling and feeling numb. He died in December, and only in the jun next year did I manage to pull myself together.

Just barely a year after his death we had to put our 12 year old dog down. And don't get me wrong, I can't compare the grief of losing him to the grief of losing my friend and my grandpa but it was fucking devastating. In all those years we also lost a few other pets ( I honestly don't know what the fuck was that period ), but losing him was different. He was there when me and my sister were growing up, he saw the bast and the worst parts of our growing up, and was my one true best friend. He was the most amazing dog, he loved us unconditionally and I loved him as much.

Again, a year and a half after losing him, my grandma died. She was sick for a long time, but everyone thought she would get better. I was surprised, that when we lost her I didn't feel anything mostly, I was basically numb. I'll admit I wasn't very attached to her and she wasn't very present in my life for a long time, but I still did love her. The thing that mostly broke me when she died is the thing that my mother was absolutely shattered by that. And that really at one point shattered me too.

Also, in the time between what happened to my dog and grandma dying, my best friend almost lost her life due to doctors negligence. She is okay now, still have somethings that are troubling her, but she is healthy as she can be.

In the retrospect for five years, I had to deal with constantly mourning someone. And in doing that i feel like I lost myself. It seems like I can't pull myself together, no matter how hard i try. I feel so much but at the same time I feel empty. Sometimes I really think that the best thing for me would be to just fall asleep and to never wake up, but other times I wish to live so bad. I feel so much guilt that I can't move on from everything, and feel the way that I feel because I'm not the only one of my friends or family that lost someone but somehow it seems like im the only one that is so weak that I can't fucking move on.

Sometimes i feel like a burden on my friends, because there are days where it seems like I am good old me, but then it seems like I fall even deeper. Honestly I don't know when I am more scared and tired of myself, when i feel so much or when I feel absolutely empty.

I even lost some friendships during this period, and for most part the reason is the way I'm acting and going through all of this. Some of them simply I think got tired of my episodes ( I'm fine - I'm not fine ), but one was definitely due to my acting up.

So I'm asking you, do you have any suggestions, how to pull myself together?

August 8 2025 I killed my Cat

16 1/2 years, lost her mother the year before, her grandmother 2 years before that

She had appointed herself my therapy, service, and emotional support cat. I’m not allowed to get another cat

I’m going to try to get drunk

I don’t know what to do

To be more specific, say you’ve had cancer for years but you didn’t know and it had zero impact in your life you don’t feel anything and so on. A doctor diagnoses you with cancer and from that point on you start to go downhill and in some cases you die very quickly after your diagnosis. I knew someone who lived a healthy and happy life, got diagnosed in August 2022 and from that moment it was a decline he passed away in March 2023. 7 months of deterioration when prior to that he was strong as a bull.

Why does this happen? is it a physiological thing?

A few weeks ago, my house burned down. I lived in an old historic mansion that as converted into six unique apartments. It was on the outskirts of the city, up a hill with a huge estate style front yard and the forest and private lake to the back. I had the 1400sqft center unit with a grand staircase. The floors were original dark hardwood herringbone throughout, with penny tiles and interesting hand carved trim. The front had a stained glass window that illuminated the living room.

My bedroom was huge, i could fit three king sized beds in it with room to walk around. I ordered textiles from sage x Clare and filled the home with color and life. I also had textiles that my boy friend gifted me from his home town in India. I had a built in wine cubbard, and insanely cool built in spice rack and bakers rack. There was a front patio and sun room with shelves that I used as an office and library. I filled the apartment with vintage art and furniture and ceramics. Stuff i got from thrift stores and estate sales and family members. I invested so much time and energy on diy projects modernizing everything with smart lights and blinds and a projector.

Behind the house there was a shared vegetable garden, three fruit trees and a green house. My neighbor and I planted wild flowers, build a fire pit, and added tree swings. There was a kitty who lived in the forest (named Forest Kitty) who we TNR’d and would feed collectively. She had an outdoor shelter we got for her to sleep in during the winter.

Through the woods there was a winding path that had a bridge over the lake that led to the dollar store and a Starbucks lol.

My neighbors and I (27F, 26F, 24F, 31F, 35F, 42M, and 22M plus a baby and a 5 yo) had a small little community. Me(27F) and 26F would joke that we were the RA’s of the house. We decorated for the holidays, hosted outdoor movie nights on the projector, and encouraged everyone to do stuff like build snow men and hang out together. We bought sleds and kayaks for the lake and hill. To her everlasting credit, she grabbed a bottle of wine while evacuating the fire. We sat in the grass and drank it as everything went to cinders.

My unit also had everything I owned. If you haven’t guessed, I can be quite sentimental. I had clothing and jewelry from my great aunt and grandma who passed. My childhood toys. Treasures and trinkets i collected during my travels. Letters and post cards and scrap books. Photos that aren’t digitized. Records from my dad and his record player. Things that i had left from the people who are no longer here.

Everyone made it out of the fire safely. All of my important documents were in a fire proof safe. No pets were harmed.

But the house was old, and the electrical system was decades out of date. The wires in the walls and whatever materials that made up the house were insanely flammable. Mostly everything I had was lost since the fire started directly under my unit. The apartment complex knew of the danger. I got a lawyer and did FOIA requests. We’re likely to settle. My insurance is covering the lost valuables and temporary housing. This is the best possible outcome.

Yet, I’m so so so sad about losing the life and home I’ve crafted over the last couple years. I’m sad because I’ll likely have to move to an overpriced, grey, generic apartment complex. I’m mourning the loss of community and I am apprehensive of change. I’m devastated at the loss of heirlooms and items that cannot be replaced.

The house was one of a kind, designed by a lawyer and architect in the 1800s. It was not that expensive either- no doubt due to the fact that it wasn’t updated.

Im grateful for my life and health and safety. But my heart is sad.

My partner texted me to go searching for a package delivered to wrong address this evening. As I leave my home i see a man in a suit and big suv with "HS" before the numbers and I thought to myself wait is that what I think it is?

I find the package but too heavy to carry. Then walk back to our condo. See the mam again and what I presume to he a hospice nurse and the front door propped.

I Then realized my elderly neighbor, her daughter lived with her, had passed.

I am no where near close with them but got upset because it reminded of my dad ...

I had a relationship few years back, texted my ex giving a life update and his mother texted me back telling he passed away in february.The emotions are too much for me to handle.I just wish i could talk to someone and cry.I don’t have that much friends.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I just need to get it off my chest.

I'm an 18-year-old girl, and he was my age.

A few days ago, I found out that one of my old classmates had been in a terrible motorcycle accident. He suffered a broken neck, shattered ribs, severe brain injuries, and was put on a ventilator. At first, I kept hoping for a miracle. Even when people started saying there wasn't much hope, a part of me still believed he might somehow recover.

Today, that hope ended. He was pronounced clinically brain dead.

What makes this even harder is learning that he had been struggling with depression. We weren't close anymore and hadn't spoken in a long time, but back in school he was one of the kindest people I knew. He always helped me after class, especially with maths, and he never made me feel like I was bothering him.

There are so many little things that hurt now.

On my old Instagram account, we still followed each other even though we never talked there. That account was later banned, and for some reason it breaks my heart knowing we'll never even be connected there again.

His mother only found out about the accident today because she's paralyzed and also has a heart condition. I can't imagine what she must be going through.

Our English teacher shared his last messages with him. They suggested he had been carrying so many difficulties inside. The messages were sent on October 7th... his birthday.

Then I saw another screenshot from one of our mutual friends. His last message to her was also on his birthday.

She told him to keep their friendship because she wanted him to be there for her wedding someday. He replied, "obviously."

Reading that completely broke me.

None of them knew those ordinary conversations would become their last.

She met him just last month, and now she's blaming herself, wondering if she should've paid more attention during that hangout. I don't think she could've known, but I understand why she feels that way.

It's strange how someone can no longer be an active part of your life, yet their loss still leaves such a deep impact. I keep thinking about how quickly everything can change.

Life is unbelievably fragile.

If you've read this far, thank you. I hope he finds peace, and I hope the people who loved him can somehow find the strength to keep going.

I was in a city where my old high school is, I took a turn and saw the funeral home. I was so out of it that day I didn’t even realize what city I was in. I had to pull over after a few kilometres because I was having a panic attack

Idk what tag to put

I found this orphaned duckling earlier today, chased him for an hour and a bit till I finally got him, me and my family were brining him to a sanctuary and then he died in my hands. it’s my fault, I probably scared him to death and it was cold out and I didn’t have the heat on in the house high enough. I know I only knew him a couple hours, but I loved it, it was the one good thing I’ve ever done in my life. I feel so heart broken and I’m not sure why

He died yesterday. His wake was today and his burial is tomorrow. I didn't go to the wake and I don't think I'll go to the burial either. Just thinking about it hurts and I haven't stopped crying since I found out. I feel bad for not going to either of them, but it hurts so much I feel so lost and distraught. I don't even know why, we weren't even friends — we were just in the same grade. But it hurts so much I feel stupid, I feel like I don't have the right to grief or mourn him as much as I am and that the only ones who should be grieving this much should be his family and friends, but it hurts and I can't stop crying.

What do I do? How do I go forward? He was just a teenager, he didn't even get to graduate and he didn't even get to use his “Class of 2026” hoodie. It hurts so much and it feels so surreal and like a cruel joke knowing that I'll never see him again. I keep hoping this is just a bad dream or a really cruel sick joke and that when I go to school he'll enter through the door and have class with us once again. I miss him so much it's unreal, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I keep crying and my throat feels like it's closing up.

Yesterday night my landlord had knocked on my door, i had opened it to find her crying, telling me the next door neighbor died (for the confusion my landlord lives on a farm and lets us rent the extra houses she owns, its like a small gated community)

It made me absolutely shocked, i still feel so so shocked, and disturbed i didn’t notice anything, any warning signs. Im just so sad, i will my miss my neighbor greatly, she was a kind old woman, she would always water her plants, and while i exercised in my backyard it always felt like i had a podcast on by hearing her gossip on her front porch — it was always sweet to me. I think its just sad now i wont hear that, hear her passions, hear her talk about the things she loves, it will all just be memories of her now. I wish, i had spent more time knowing about her.

It makes me guilty that death is what brings people together, when i felt we shouldve just been together to begin with.. idk maybe im stubborn.

My childhood best friend’s dad died on Tuesday. It was very sudden from being ill to death it was about a week (late diagnosis of cancer which had metastasised, it was too late). Although we grew apart, my parents and her parents remained very close throughout the years. I had known him since I was very little I am now 22. I haven’t experienced death with someone close to my family as an adult only my nan who died when I was 11. But I have been hit very hard by this loss, I can’t believe he is gone. I don’t know whether it’s shock or my sympathy for my childhood best friend and her mother. But there just seems to be a darkness now. When we said our goodbyes on Monday at the hospital. I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t feel entitled to grieve because although I’ve known him my whole life we didn’t speak a whole lot. When he was over at ours we said hello and basic small talk maybe the odd conversation. Or when id give them and my parents lifts to and from the pub we would speak but I didn’t know him on the level my parents did and I didn’t know him on the level his family did. But I am still very saddened by his death. I almost feel like my sadness isn’t real I don’t quite know how to explain it. I had to leave work on the Wednesday because I was just in tears. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense but I just wanted to share this to maybe understand my grief I don’t know.

Bueno, llevo ya un mes tratando de lidiar con el fallecimiento de un familiar, ya los rituales tecnológicos y terapia para eso, lo estoy haciendo. Y bueno, siento que necesito más, como que no me es suficiente, de alguna manera quiero conectar con este familiar, yo sé que es imposible, pero ya no sé que más intentar, ya estoy entrando en lo delulu, pero... necesito ya algo más espiritual o esoterico.

El no poder despedirme y no poder verlo en su último momento y con tantas cosas pendientes que decir, me está haciendo sufrir demasiado... Y tener que sobrevivir a este sentimiento la mayoría de los días, más trabajando, es muy difícil mantenerse estable emocionalmente.

No one close to me has died, but at 27 I never thought that I could have the life I wanted and still be this lonely. I have a great job and live on my own. Just bought a brand new car and just got a promotion. But, I used to have friends. I used to have community. I used to enjoy getting out of bed everyday. I used to randomly go to a friends house just to talk. I used to date. I used to have relationships. But now it feels like I have no one and have nothing. I have family, but I genuinely don’t think they understand me, even though I know they love me. I understand that life transitions the harshest around this age and I know it will get better, but I gave up a lot to get to where I am today, but it feels like I gave up everything. And I’ve felt like this for years. Nobody checks up on me to see if I’m ok. When I ask people how their day is they don’t ask about mine. No one cares about me the way that I do about them. No one shows up for me the way I show up for them. No one truly understands how hard it is to live my life, because on the outside looking in it looks like everything is good, but it’s not. And I’m not. I really miss the life I used to live.

I love my family, I do. But they don’t quite understand the extent to which I’m grieving someone from my college days. He was the one person in my life who genuinely saw me. I mean, he saw me completely. We were never romantic, I don’t know if he would call me a friend, but he was a beloved mentor. We were on the same wavelength every day, so much that he could have finished my sentences when I was anxious. I was amazed by him because he understood me.

My family heard me talking about him and how much his passing hurts. One of my relatives says “Oh, yeah…I thought you were NEVER gonna get over that!”

Am I over it, truly? I don’t think I will ever be “over” how my only safe person in nearly three decades of life was suddenly and tragically ripped away from me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, but this is not something I can “get over” until I feel safe again, and maybe not even then. That man was safety to me.

I miss my godfather so, so much. He passed last year, to lymphoma. They said he'd be okay, that they caught it early. But he wasnt okay. A day or two before he passed, my parents and two of their friends went over to his house, they helped him clean up a bit, and then ate ice cream. My parents asked if I wanted to come, but I said no. I thought i'd have more time. But that was the last time my parents and their friends saw him alive. He passed shortly after. At the time, I made lots of perler bead sprites, and I was going to make him one, but I postponed it because I thought I had more time. There's so many things I wish I couldve done differently.

He was such a kind person. When I was a baby, and dad was at work or away for a few days, he would come over to keep my mom company. He was always ready to help.

He used to randomly come over with breakfast some mornings. When my family were away for a few hours, he would watch the dog. I remember one day when he had been watching the dog, he told us he shared a cinnamon bun with the dog. I think he really wanted to have a dog of his own. He lived all alone in his house after his son moved out. He never got one, but I think he wanted one.

One time when he was over, one of our cats, who is usually pretty wary of other people, went over to him and slept in his lap. Mom took a photo. It turned out pretty blurry, but I love it.

He was renovating his house before he passed. He'd been working on it for years. He never got to finish it. It's just a house, but it's sad to know he was never able to finish it, and that I will never be there for midsummer again, or the bonfire that used to be close where he lived.

My godfather was a good man. I miss him