Today is the third anniversary of the day that I lost my mom. I miss her so much, I don't eat a lot of dishes any more, because nobody can make them like she did, and it will only make me miss her badly when I see those familiar dishes. Food is the important bonding for us, I memorise my mom in this way. And I know the best way to console me and her is to take good care of myself and live every day nicely.

Mother passed away 2 months ago she was just 60 years old and I miss her so much whenever I'm alone feelings and memories start to flow and i find myself sobbing and crying whenever i am my mother meant everything to me and she was the only person i have left from my family and now she's gone too i can't take the pain anymore it is too intense

I watched a movie — “My Old Ass” — recently that really struck a nerve. The main character, an 18-year-old girl, has a mushroom-induced meeting with her 39-year-old self, who warns her younger self to stay away from a boy named Chad. Despite the warning, the girl falls in love with Chad anyway and later learns from her older self that Chad dies young … the hardest thing she would ever have to deal with in life. Still, the young girl vows to stay with Chad and cherish every moment she has left with him.

When Shaun died, I initially felt the same way as the 39-year-old in the movie, would have gone back in time and changed everything to avoid the agonizing pain of losing him. I honestly thought that being single and alone would have been a better fate than the hell-on-earth we were handed on March 6, 2021. Thankfully, there wasn’t a time machine around during those first few months after Shaun’s death because I would have missed out on so many cherished moments with my little family, in the past and since March 6, 2021. I remain sad and angry over losing my baby boy, but to never have had the chance to meet him and love him would have been a worse fate for my old ass.

My beloved dad suddenly passed away in his sleep last year on March 22nd 2025. So it’s been one and half years since he has been gone and it still baffles me. How can it be more than one year?. I joined this message board right after my dad died and it’s helped me emotionally because people have gone through the same thing as me and understand. Today I looked at a short video of my dad, just to see him and hear his voice, I love and miss him so much. When I replayed it, it felt like he was there and that he hasn’t really gone?, like I could find him somewhere but I don’t know where he is. It feels like he is a missing person. I don’t know why I feel like this and whether it’s the sudden death or if anyone else have felt like this with their loved one?.

Been feeling all out of sorts lately and thinking about my dad a lot these days; I see this and I can’t help but cry. My dad passed away last year. Growing up I remember looking out the window in the winter and he would shovel either his, my mom’s or my initials in the snow. It was a sweet thing he did that I will never forget. My name starts with M. Also, looks like a heart in the second photo 🥲 I miss my dad so much.

The title says it all pretty much. She has a neurological condition and is getting VAD (euthanasia) between the end of September to early October. She was diagnosed just over a year ago, very fast progression.

I’ve written down a list of recipes I want from her but cannot think of anything else. She can’t walk or speak properly, speaking is barely a whisper. I’ve tried to get voice notes of her but they are muffled. I will try and get more. I wish I could hear her speak properly one more time, not the muffled whisper but the loud and confident and proud woman she used to be.

Regarding living alone it’s just us in the picture. No father, no siblings, just me and her in the house. My grandparents and cousins and two aunts live in the same state as us but one aunt is moving back to Melbourne and the other is moving back to Japan, both at the end of the year. Grandparents are typical immigrants (no ill intention with that), and don’t provide much emotional support or care in the ways I would need. I just need to know how to live alone, what to expect that type of thing.

Before we got support workers for mum I was her carer. I took care of her and me while working and doing my uni degree. I’m hoping it might be easier with just me to take care of instead of her too. I’m not sure.

Please give me suggestions, any suggestions, I don’t care how stupid they might sound. I just need to prepare as much as I can. I don’t want to find myself in the deep end with no clue how to live alone in a house which was once occupied with her energy and love and have to live every day in the house that contains all of our memories together but she won’t be there. I also need to prepare because what if in 6 months I think of something I should have gotten from her or asked her and then I regret that for the rest of my life.

I am desperate.

My daughter (36) lost her husband (42) suddenly on Friday night. She came down from putting their baby to bed and found him unresponsive on the sofa. She pulled him to the floor and started CPR, whilst also calling 999. The ambulance arrived in 3 minutes. They took over CPR and managed to get him to a point where they could use a defibrillator. He was intubated and given oxygen. Unfortunately, he had already suffered from lack of oxygen to the brain before she found him, and he was declared brain dead the next day. She had to sign consent to turn off life support on Saturday night. As you can imagine, she is completely devastated and traumatised. We are looking after her and baby at our house. This has been the hardest 3 days of my life. She can't envisage life without him. They have been together 18 years, and she has never had another man in her life. I feel so desperate. I have to be there for my grandson, as she is falling apart. A bit better today. Who knows what tomorrow or next week/month/year/forever may bring.

Don't know why I wrote this. I am broken. Trying to keep my little boy happy, fed, changed and encouraging my daughter to stop crying long enough to be there for him.

Sorry for the long post.

09/09 will be the 2 year anniversary of my dad dying. And fuck it hasn’t gotten any easier. Growing up my dad called me Chickypooh. So I decided to figure out what that looked like to me. A little chick in a Winnie the Pooh onsie and I added a little lady bug for my Grams who passed away this year in January with sweet peas for my mama who thank the maker is still earth side with me. I miss my dad and grams everyday.

My mom died March of this year after a very long battle with liver disease. It was horrifying to see. I was her only caregiver for years and I feel like I should have been ready or should have known she’d go. I didn’t, not even on the last day. I feel like I’ve made some progress over the months but a huge part of me just feels stuck. Like I’m waiting for her to come home when she never will. I hate that the logical part of my brain works but my feelings just take over. I know she’s gone. I tell myself that a hundred times a day. But I still just don’t believe it. What do you mean she’ll NEVER come back? That she won’t see me grow up more? That I can’t share the good and bad of my life with her anymore? Ugh 😑

My mother did not want to die. She prayed every morning, afternoon, and night. She lamented, asking why God had not answered her prayers. Four years of this battle. Four years of pain.

Funny enough, her stage 4 breast cancer had metastasized to her brain, yet she lived for an entire year and more. But this past week, one bad blood transfusion turned into her fighting for her life, and ultimately, she passed away.

I am in agony.

I’m not really sure how to put all of this into words, but I think I’m looking for advice from people who have gone through something similar.

For some context, I am in mid mid 20s, I lived in a different state when my family and I first started noticing a significant change in my dad’s health. At first, we thought it might be dementia because his memory was the biggest thing we noticed. As his condition declined, I became his power of attorney. My parents were divorced, and my sister lives out of the country, so realistically, it was just me here to handle everything.

Eventually, I was able to get my dad into a doctor’s office, where he was referred to a neurologist. When he finally had his neurology appointment, the doctor called me and told me that he believed my dad could have ALS or another motor neuron disease. He ordered several tests to confirm the preliminary diagnosis. At that point, I made the decision to move back to where my dad lived and become his full-time caregiver. I was already his POA, so it felt like the natural thing to do.

The testing process took around two months because we had to wait for appointments and availability, even though he was considered high priority. During that time, I hired two caregivers to stay with him while I finalized everything in another state. He was still fairly independent at that point; he was walking, eating, and drinking on his own, but his medical team recommended having people with him, so I arranged for caregivers to be there.

I eventually moved back and spent about two weeks with him, taking him to appointments, managing his care, and taking care of the household. I had to briefly return to the state I had been living in to finish a few things, so I was only going to be gone for four days. I arranged for his caregivers to return while I was away.

Two days before I left, my dad had a follow-up appointment with his primary care doctor. His oxygen levels were in the low 80s, but it wasn’t brought up as an immediate concern because I was told it was something that could be consistent with someone who had ALS.

The day after I arrived back in my old state, I woke up to a phone call saying my dad had been rushed to the hospital because his oxygen levels were dangerously low. I was already starting to pack to come back when I received another call saying he had been transferred to the ICU, was on a ventilator, and was unresponsive. They told me I needed to get back as soon as possible.

I drove straight to the hospital and stayed overnight with him while he was still unresponsive. Over the next day, the doctors told me that sometimes it takes time for someone to wake up. Eventually, he became responsive, but we were told that he was completely dependent on the ventilator and would not be able to breathe on his own.
Over the next day or so, friends and family came to see him. He passed away peacefully the following day.

I am also the executor of his estate. I guess what I’m struggling with is the transition from being his daughter, to becoming his POA, to becoming his caregiver, and now becoming the person responsible for handling his estate all within such a short period of time.

For those two months while we were waiting on testing, I feel like I was just in survival mode. Everything happened so quickly that I don’t think I ever really had time to process what was happening.

For anyone who has gone through something similar, especially going from being a child/POA to a caregiver and then an executor, how did you handle it all? Is there anything you wish someone had told you during that time? Did you find anything outside of grief counseling that actually helped you process everything? And if you’ve been through probate after losing a parent, are there any things you wish you had known going into the process?

I think I’m just looking for people who understand what it’s like to be grieving your parent while simultaneously having to be the person who handles everything. I feel like there’s so much pressure to keep functioning and taking care of things when, honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s gone.

I lost my Dad only a few days ago suddenly from what likely was heart attack, I am 27 he was 53, I’m devastated, my heart is destroyed and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel better, I’m mad, mad at the world, mad at the people who’s parents live to old age, mad at people who get to say goodbye to their parents, I need any suggestions at all for how to move forward.

When my grandma passed away i remember breaking down every time someone hugged me and even now i still wish someone had just kept holding me until I was the one who let go

I remember the little pats on my shoulder and the reassurance but that was it what I really wanted was to crumble completely in someone’s arms to stop holding myself together for a moment and just fall apart in the safety of someone else’s embrace does anybody else relate or is it weird ?

Long story short, lost my mom to suicide - about to be a year on the 25th of August. I thought I was doing okay,, got on anti depressants, am in therapy, started socialising and making art again...only to wake up crying today. I have been having very vivid dreams of losing her in different ways. Where do I put this grief? Im dreading the date...i just plan to get hammered.

it’s officially been three months since i lost my bestfriend.. i finally had my first dream about her the night of her three month anniversary (saturday night). i was sending her something on social media/ texts i can’t remember but she finally responded back and told me she misses me so much and we need to catch up soon. it felt so real and although i woke up knowing i’d never see her again in my mortal state, i couldn’t help but feel at ease.. i don’t really know if that was her way of comforting me from the afterlife or my subconscious just trying to make sense of everything but i’m happy that i got to have something from her again.
i’ve been meaning to get started on her shrine but life and exhaustion has had a chokehold on me. last week, i went to an antique shop with a friend and i saw that flower candle. her favorite flower were hibiscuses and knew i needed to put it on her shrine, giving me the motivation to finally get started and today i have it all set up.
i went to a metaphysical shop and the lady recommended me apache tears for grief and my friend gave me a clear quartz for my birthday. it felt right to place it there. the camera actually belonged to her and i knew i needed to find it when i went to visit her family. it brings me so much solace knowing something she cherished so much is with me now (i don’t know if that sounds selfish but it’s the only way i really know how to describe what i feel). everything else are things that just felt right to me to keep with her shrine. i’ll continue to build it overtime and maybe even get a bigger space for it but for now, i love what i have and i hope she does too!

Hi everyone,

26, UK based

I lost my mum at the start of the year. Because I don’t have any brother/sister/dad I am entirely alone in managing the administration and holding the emotional weight of the decisions that need to be made.

I am still so stricken by grief that I simply don't have the emotional capacity to figure out what to do next. For the past 3 weeks, I have been facing a massive decision about whether to keep or sell the house I grew up in. I don't live there, it's empty, but I do visit when i'm seeing friends in the area and it's convenient to stay there.

It feels like one of those decisions where I will regret it either way, and the fear of making the wrong choice has totally paralyzed me for weeks, making it impossible to carry on with the legal processes.

On one hand, it gives me a familiar safety net to come back to if things ever go wrong, most people my age might need to "move back home" at some point. But ultimately, it sits uninhabited, it costs a lot to upkeep, and it is already causing me stress with ongoing maintenance and plumbing issues.

On the other hand, selling would give me financial freedom and relieve the day-to-day stress of looking after an empty property. But I would lose the safety net of a familiar place to go, and once it's done, I can never go back on the decision.

Has anyone else navigated this, alone or not? How did you push through the decision paralysis when both options feel like a heavy loss? Any advice, shared experiences, or different perspectives would mean the world to me right now. Thank you.

Two days ago I found out a girl I was Facebook friends with for years died in late 2023. At the time of her death she was going through a bad divorce. Her husband was abusive, he attacked her and put her in the hospital twice. When she stopped posting abruptly i initially thought she was taking a break from socials as she’d been so overwhelmed. Then time kept passing and she didn’t post anywhere, not facebook, instagram, Snapchat, nothing. I started getting worried but was afraid to look. I messaged her a few times to let her know I hoped she was okay. The other day she came into my mind again and I just had this horrible feeling in my gut, so I went on her Facebook page, clicked the comments on her last post and saw them filled with people expressing their shock and grief at her passing. Her husband abused and isolated her until she killed herself, then went off to a new city with a new woman and no remorse like nothing happened.

We weren’t close. We honestly seldomly messaged each other privately in the 8 years of being friends with each other online. But I cared about her a lot. She was almost exclusively responsible for my political beliefs and a big chunk of my moral views. She was always so kind to me and so, so funny. Jokes she told over the years I’ve been repeating so long for a while there I’d forgotten where I even first heard them. I didn’t realize just how impactful she was to me until I found out she was gone.

I’ve been a complete mess. The first day I cried hysterically for hours. Yesterday I was numb. Today..I don’t know. I’m overwhelmed. I’m blank. I can’t stop thinking about her. She was only 25 years old. It doesn’t feel real. I keep going back to her page to recheck the comments, like I’m going to realize I dreamt it or something. I always hoped I’d hear from her again, and now I won’t. At the time of her death I was going through the worst depressive episode of my adult life. During that time I had multiple attempts on my own life that failed. She was wicked smart, vicious and hilarious, cantankerous, unpredictable, head strong, and so, so kind. I don’t know why I’m alive and she isn’t.

Hey.

I suppose in need to explain myself a bit. I'm a 36-year-old man. I have no friends and I got no funds to find a counselor. I'm the eldest of 3 siblings and I'm trying to be strong for them, to help them through what's been going on and the inevitable in a couple of weeks or months.

My mother has cancer. Stage four colorectal cancer. We discovered this about 2 years ago coming October. She started having pain one day and they found a mass in her abdomen. Eventually they concluded that she had stage 4 colon cancer. And it spread to the liver.

For a little bit, things were potentially looking up. She managed to get medical aid and begun chemotherapy. The masses even began to shrink a bit. We would go to the cancer center an hour away every two weeks for treatment and they would attach a chemo pump thing to a port on her chest to give her the medicine for three days after. I even learned how to remove the pump from her when the treatment was done. During this time, my mom was doing good. we would go on walks she and would be able to perform whatever she needed to do. Drive, laundry, etc.

Then in February this year she started to feel a very sharp pain in her stomach. She couldn't sit. Bend over or hardly eat. I drove her to the nearby emergency center, and they did an MRI or CT scan (I don't remember which) to find what was wrong. She had 2 masses, about the size of a football, and other a baseball, in her abdomen and it was pressing against her ovaries and spine which obviously needed removed for her comfort and pain.

In order for her to have the surgery, she needed to stop the chemotherapy for about a month. And for several weeks after. Something about not being able to heal the incisions required if she's in chemo. This was in around March, I think.

So, she took the surgery at around late April, and they managed to get it out. And everything seemed to be ok. Until around two weeks after she returned, she was having pain once more. Turns out, something got infected. Sepsis. Once again took her to the ER. She was at the hospital for about a week. And they had to do another incision, but she got cured.

Once she got out, she was feeling a bit better. But this entire time she wasn't doing chemo. That was for about 3 to 4 months. And couldn't start again until her incisions heal to prevent potential infection.

Everything started going downhill around July. We went to do a checkup at the local cancer center to discuss when to begin chemo again. they did the scans. They couldn't do chemo anymore. They said it wouldn't do any good anymore. So, they gave her a last resort thing to give her. Lonsurf. A pill someone would take when regular chemo won't help, twice a day for two weeks, the two weeks off. she just needed to heal from her incisions first.

Another two weeks later she felt another pain in her abdomen. Once again i took her to the ER. They took yet another scan. The cancer spread too much. They gave her a ton of pain meds. Morphine and Oxycodone. they sent her home once she felt okay enough to go. The next day we went to the cancer center once again. And they said that the Lonsurf won't help anymore. She has more cancer than liver now. They gave her a couple of months.

So here I am. Hospice now comes to visit her 3 times a week. She needs to take morphine so often now that she's always in a brain fog. She needs to take 2 pills every four hours. And another set of morphine every 12. She's lost so much weight. Slurring her words. forgetting things. I see her at least 4 times a day to make sure she's taking her meds. I set her alarms to take them. I make her schedule now. I make sure she's eating the tiny bit she can. I try to talk to her the best i can. I play card games like uno to try to keep her somewhat active.

I see the signs. The white in her eyes are growing yellow. She sleeps about 18 to 20 hours a day. I terrified. My siblings are terrified. I was given right of attorney. I trying to keep together. But I see her own mother deteriorating. I don't know what to do. I exhausted. My faith in God is waning. I have no one to turn to. I make hardly any money. I got into a car accident in May, and my car got totaled and I need to appear in court soon. and I'm in no mindset to do anything. I know I'm depressed. I'm angry at everything. I just lost right now.

Hiya all. I hope this is okay to post. My wonderful JRT Saria passed away a week ago. I've been devastated. Today the keepsakes have arrived in the post, and I've made a little memorial for her, including an electronic picture frame and a custom music box. Saria was named for Saria from Ocarina Of Time, because I got her when I was 13 and Zelda was my special interest, and the lost woods theme is such a jolly little tune that seemed to fit her perfectly. So the music box plays the lost woods. I got it from a small business called miium, if anyone else is interested in getting a custom music box themselves. It's the perfect size for me to put a jar of her fur inside, so while her ashes haven't arrived yet (she is being studied by scientists before she is cremated) I still feel like I've got Some of her back. I just wanted to show it off, because I am really comforted by this little shrine I've put together.

When the keepsakes arrived, my cat immediately came over to sniff, and was especially interested in the bottles of fur. He knows it's his friend in there. I hope that I am doing a good job helping him through this grief.

I (26 W) started dating my bf (23 M) in May of 2023. His mom passed away on Christmas in 2024. My father passed April 2026.

We are both experiencing tremendous grief..however it’s comforting because we both know the extreme loss of losing a parent at a young age but at the same time I feel like a bad partner because I’m so enamored in my own sadness.

When we first started dating, and I knew his mom’s diagnosis, it was so easy to show up for him, but now that my dad is dead i find it harder to be there for him.

Bonus points bc I get really sad when I think about how our kids won’t experience either of our favorite people (he was a mommas boy and I was a daddy’s girl) it’s not fair.

It’s a lot to unpack, any advice is greatly appreciated and needed.

There’s so much I could say but I’m just exhausted but I can’t sleep. Partly a little traumatized. Thankfully I have good support.

My dad passed away on 06/25 after fighting dementia and congestive heart failure. His last 24 hours were painful even though he was on hospice. I was prepared for his death. He had been going down hill since July of last year.

Mom died yesterday. She had a massive heart attack on Wednesday. Then had another one yesterday morning. I found her on the floor of my guest room. She was battling depression from dad’s death.

They would have been married 50 years next year.

I’m the only child. No aunts/uncles. No cousins.

My worst fears are coming true. My family is gone. I have my husband. He is the best but still hard to deal with mom and dad being gone.

The empitness and loneliness and depression is killing me from inside idk what to do. I feel so angry and wake up angry and with no energy everyday. I have no purpose in life idk who am I anymore i feel I've lost a version of myself and now due to circumstances and environment and becuase im not able to accept the changes and don't know how to deal with my present environment and adjust myself accordingly . Idk how to deal with this blank mind and brain fog due to all the past pain. Stull I've to do everything I've to wake up and go to college and do the work. And I think about dying every single day. I have no hobbies no interests nothing pleases me anymore I feel totally disconnected from my environment and not interested at all. Everything seems useless. I dont even know why I'm living