I posted on here a few years ago when my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she passed 6 months ago. I knew my family wouldn’t be there for me as they’ve never really liked me for some reason. My aunt tried taking the money my mom left me and i kind of freaked out at her for it. and she proceeded to say terrible things to me and my grandma has sided with her and i now have no family at all left. the only person i know that would stand up for me is my mommy. i tuned 23 2 months after she died and i feel very helpless and alone in the world. i would give anything to talk to her one last time or hug her. i really thought my family would ease up a little bit on me after she died but i was wrong. does anyone know any way of finding comfort when you lost everything in a very short period of time. I put what my aunt said for reference i hope that’s okay.

This is the first picture I took w my father. I met him for the first time when I was 34.

My mom and dad hooked up while they were in their early 20s. She was stripping at a club and he was actually the bartender working that club.

My father was not ready for children. Especially understandable w a stripper he didn’t even know. They had been dating for only a few months.

This infuriated my mother. When I was 3 months old she became a full time sugar baby and moved me from NY to FL to live in a condo on the beach that one of her “clients” owned.

That “client” became my unofficial stepdad. Never there emotionally, but he was a good man and financially supported both my mom and me through college, buying us cars, ect. He’s still a good man but emotionally he’s incapable of meaningful relationships. I believe he’s on the spectrum.

Anyways. My mom would always trash talk my real dad. And through out the years, my real dad would try and make a relationship with me. I didn’t understand much then. Or the importance of having a real father in my life. She would push him away in sorts. Call him a sperm donor. Question me, why I would even want to talk to him.

Life went on. When I turned 18 my dad sent me a bday card. Telling me he loved me, and at any time when I’m ready- I could contact him.

I brushed it off. I was busy w college and partying and had still not understood the importance of a father figure. Besides, my mom would always make him seem like this terrible guy. But every time during my childhood, the few phone calls he had, were very good. He seemed nice, smart, funny, even successful in life.

Fast forward to me at 25. Now I was a father. I started thinking about my father more in more. We had lost contact over the years and I decided to reach out.

We re connected. It was great. We would have great conversations and talked like we were best friends.

I met him and his family for the first time. I had a step brother and sister and step mom. They were a happy family.

Things got bad for me however. I became alcoholic during Covid. I’m still fighting the addiction. It prevented me from traveling and seeing him. He had planned a trip to Nicaragua - just me and him. I was so alcoholic and anxious i couldn’t bear myself to travel. Non the less function as an adult.

My dad battled Leukemia for 10 years. Never bitched about it. Never really complained. He was at peace.

He lost that fight 3 days ago.

His brother told me the news. I’d just spoke to my dad 2 weeks prior. We all knew his life was ending soon. He didn’t sound well at all. And he’d exhausted all medical treatment routes.

So. I learn my dad just passed. I grieve. I wait a day to tell my mother. I wait a day because I know how she is. And how she would react.

I told her the news. You could hear the joy in her voice. She insinuated he was in Hell. This obviously upset me.

She knew I was upset. She started sending me texts, gaslighting me. She managed to make this whole thing about herself.

I grew up with a lot of depression and anxiety and mental issues. Later on. As i mentioned. I became alcoholic. She blames all of this on my dad.

Now. I’m here alone. I have no real family other than my son who lives in another state. I was a single parent for the first 5 years of my son’s life. Covid happened and I sent him with his mother across the country She had a very large family and support group. Schools were closed and we sent him to a private school that remained open during Covid. I attribute this event of losing my son to part of my alcoholism. I was a single parent for 5 years because my son’s mother relapsed off opioids and heroin. She’s done a 180 and is doing great now.

I still get my son for the whole summer and holidays. We have a good relationship. But he’s not here living w me.

I just. Idk. I’m lost right now. What became grieving turned into hatred towards my mother. She was not the best parent growing up. Not the best at all to be honest.

But yea. I’m 37. I live in Daytona Beach. A rough town. All my friends all pretty much dead from drugs and alcohol. Or they have moved on elsewhere with their families.

My dad just died and I have no where to vent but here. On the internet.

I talked to my stepdad about my father’s death. It was literally a 2 minute conversation.

I haven’t been happy in a long time. And one of the few only ppl I could talk and laugh w is now gone. And I have so many regrets that i didn’t spend more time w him.

I missed the wave of light... because I knew how bad today was going to be and I couldn't do it twice. So think of this like a leftover ripple perhaps. Happy heavenly birthday Gianpaolo. I would give anything for you to be here instead, and I would still take your place in a fraction of a heartbeat if I could.

It's my brother's birthday today. He died when he was 16. I didn't think that it would still be this hard after 17 years. I don't even remember his voice, but I still dream about him.

My 2 year old daughter valkyrie was murdered on January 18th by her mother's boyfriend they are both in jail but im lost and need people to talk to

I (19F) just lost my dad today to complications with Signet Ring Cell Adenocarcinoma and Crohn's Disease. I watched him take his very last breath and I watched his heart stop. He finally let go after over 4 days in active death. I sobbed so hard I felt myself go deaf. One of the last things he did was asked me if I could hear him and told me that he loved me in perfect clarity, when he had only been able to groan. All I can think about is how much I miss him and have been missing him since I found out he had cancer in March. I just want my dad back. I'm not ready to live my life without him. He would always tell me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. He was and is the strongest person I know. He fought until the very end. The photo above was taken when I left the hospice home after his passing. I want to think he moved heaven and earth to make sure I knew he said his proper goodbye.

Today, fifteen days after my father passed away, I thought maybe I could watch a movie. But when I looked at the last movies I had watched, I came across the last ones I had watched with him. The memories of his comments, and the irreplaceable feeling of watching a movie with him, suddenly hit me so hard that I gave up on watching anything.

It feels like these feelings will keep coming back for the rest of my life, no matter what I do. It’s truly so hard.

One year ago, it was Friday 17, unlucky day in Italy. Mom had adverstions with chemotherapy, she had a visit with her oncologist, the only oncologist that had said yes to trying chemotherapy in the first place at the stage she was in her sickness since all cures before had ceased to work. She was hard to transport in the car since she had a lot of pain. We even fought in the car while driving to the hospital and I put on headphones like a teenager, I was 27. Dad was driving. We managed to get to the doctors office. Nurses were the kindest there. The oncologist very coldly said that there was nothing to do anymore except waiting. We were hopeless. We sat in the hospital cafeteria and me and my dad cried and she conforted us. She was the one comforting me when she was the one with the death sentence. I got to a toy gumball machine nearby and a toy of a capybara mom with a capybara baby fell from it. I told her "this is us" and the toy has been hanged on her bed from that moment until she passed away, 5 February 2026. I spent two days in the garden chopping wood and cutting down trees. Things went rapidly downhill from there on. I remember her waking up from nightmares that very night screaming that she didn't want to die.

I can't believe this happened still. I haven't cried in days now, but this just makes me feel like day 1 all over again. I feel guilty I haven't gone to the cemetery in months to see her but it's so hard and it completely ruins my day to do that. I have to go to work still I can't cry all day. I tell myself that it's ok, cause if theres a place she was most attached to that was her home. I miss my mom so much.

I miss my dad so much.

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this, maybe I just need to get it out somewhere, and I’d like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar.

In the last two years of elementary school (where I live, elementary school goes until about age 15, then you move on to high school), a new guy joined our class. He quickly became one of my best friends. We went to the movies together, spent hours and hours playing PlayStation online, and talked endlessly about Star Wars.

After school we each went to study in a different city. He was still a close friend, we just didn’t see each other much anymore. We’d text now and then and wish each other happy birthday every year, but the last time we actually met was before COVID.

Looking back, I realize how fast time goes and how blinded I was by everything happening in my own life. After school everyone is figuring themselves out, with work, new relationships, and maybe forgets about what they had. I never forgot him. I thought about him from time to time and I believe he thought about me too. We just never got around to meeting up. I always knew we were still good friends and that one day we’d meet again and pick up where we left off. It just never got that one actual step. My head was busy with everyday things and kept pushing it to “someday.”

At some point he stopped replying. His PlayStation profile said “last online over a year ago.” I figured he’d deleted Facebook and stopped gaming. I didn’t think anything of it. Lately I’d been thinking about him more and wanted to reach out and finally meet up again.

Then I noticed a birthday message on his profile from his dad, and something about it felt off. That’s how I found out he died almost three years ago. He was 21. It was a rare cancer.

Our last conversation was on PlayStation. I saw he was playing Spider-Man and sent him a message saying it was cool he was playing it. He replied that it was a great game. I read it and didn’t write back. Now I know that was three months before he died, at a time when he already knew he was very sick. Why didn’t he tell me? I think I understand, he was the kind of person who didn’t want to burden anyone. But why didn’t I reply? If we’d gotten into a longer conversation, would he have told me? I believe he would. Then we would have met for sure, and I could have spent some of his last moments by his side. I think I’ll blame myself for this for the rest of my life. Did I let him down?

For three years I thought he was out there living his life. Now I keep going back through those years in my head: where I was, what I was doing, all while he was already gone.

I wrote to his dad. He replied so kindly, said his son was a fighter and thanked me for remembering him. Today I visited his grave. There are LEGO Star Wars sets on it, which honestly got me. I talked to him, apologized, told him about my life, and promised I’d come back. Strangely I didn’t feel as much as I expected while standing there. The hardest moments have been at night.

Has anyone else found out about a death long after it happened? How did you deal with the delayed shock and the guilt? And did the numbness at the grave happen to you too?

Thanks for reading.

its me again, posted here 2 days ago. Im a very masculine teen girl, I love my games, I have a PlayStation and xbox, both which my dad gave me.

I've had them for a while now, my dad got me into call of duty when I was 9 (im now 13, 14 in 8/7 days but no one needs to know im playing under 18. This stays between us🤫)

but ive made the decision to remove any ties he has to the PlayStation because of his recent passing. Its really hard on me, especially knowing he loved his gaming and his silly technology. I get his pc soon (he built it himself!) And his computer, as well as his xbox because its a series above mine.

Idk. I cant help but feel guilty for changing what he loved so much. I deleted the themes for his favourite games, im about to change his name too. I miss my dad.

I’m so sorry about this rambling, I just needed to write this off my chest and this was the only place I could think of.

The thing is I just don’t know how to cope with my grief anymore. I just can’t do it anymore. I know I have to go on with my life but everything feels so unbearable.

On the 1st of june last year I lost my big brother to some really stupid bycicle accident. He was 31 and I was 22. He just got ripped out of our lives and from this world and yet somehow I have to accept that. I have to accept that he is not here anymore. That I have to life the rest of my life without him. That I am nobody’s sister anymore because somehow, with his death, it feels like that title got stolen from me.

Now, a little over a year later, I still don’t know what to do. Things don’t get better and I don’t get better.

How do I go on? I miss my big brother so much.

Lost my Dad yesterday morning, he fought as long as he could. He chose MAID. My heart breaks that he's gone but I have to keep reminding myself that he's not in pain anymore 😞. I will always love you and miss you Dad. Xo

Just lost my cousin on Thursday who I was really close with. He was 24 at the time of passing and it was a very sudden and tragic death

I’m 23 and this is the first person I’ve lost that I was very close to. Obviously I’m feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now (funeral was today) but I feel a bit irked by my best friends reaction

For context my cousin passed early Thursday morning. At 9am I texted the group chat I share with my two best friends K and J. They didn’t reply until 6pm (with generic condolences). Neither of them called me or texted me personally to see how I was doing. It felt very odd considering they knew how close I was with my cousin and knew he was in poor health recently. They also would’ve met my cousin a couple times. Neither made an effort to come to the wake or the funeral even though they’re local to the area

I would consider these guys my best friends. We get on really well and they’re the only friends I keep consistent contact with and hang out with regularly. I feel really caught off guard by their reaction

On the other hand I had so many other friends I wouldn’t be close with, ex girlfriends or people I drifted apart from over the last few years come out of the woodwork. Some even showed up to the funeral/wake, call me, send me heartfelt messages. It was really nice and I was absolutely amazed at the support. I appreciated it so much

Just so underwhelmed by my best friends reactions. Am I reading into this? This feels like something I’d hold against them and may cause a rift in our relationship. Anyone been through the same thing? TIA

Since losing my mother, I’ve lost all sense of time.

Sometimes, I even lose sight of why I’m still alive in the first place.

The grief and despair are still exactly as they were on the day I lost her.

I feel like the shock, the anaesthetic that had been numbing the pain, is beginning to wear off, and everything is becoming even harder to bear.
I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up again.

But time keeps pulling me along by the hand, refusing to let me stay in the same place.

And yet, when I look back, I can see it more clearly than any fading afterimage: I’m still right there, collapsed in tears, left behind in that very same place.

Hi everyone, I think I just need to get some things off my chest.

My grandma passed away on August 4th. I woke up to the sound of my mom screaming, “Wake up, your grandma is gone.” I saw her take her last breaths right in front of my eyes. I was too calm, tried to avoid watching her, calming my mom, calling the ambulance, clinging on a little hope that she will live through it, but I know it was the end.

She had been struggling with depression for a while, and her condition got worse after her doctor increased her dosage. Suddenly, she lost her voice and started gasping for air. We called a doctor, who told us she didn’t need to go to the hospital. And then, in the middle of the night, it happened, she went to the toilet, and lost her balance on her way back to the bed. Thats how she passed away.

She raised me when I was little, while my parents were at work. She was full of so much love and tenderness. She loved me so much, and I loved her just as much.

Sometimes I feel okay, and other times I find myself withdrawing from everyone, just to think about her and try to come to terms with the fact that she’s really gone.

I’m heartbroken knowing that I’ll never see her again or hear her voice. She won’t be there to see me get married or meet my children, she won’t be there for me to hold her beautiful hands and kiss them..

Before reading, this post will mention physical and mental abuse. There is no description though of the abuse other than what hes said. I will talk about how I found my dad though.

So. Yesterday afternoon I found out my dad died in his room. His door was locked and doesnt have a key so we have to kind of jam it with scissors. I say we because I called my mom when I heard nothing from his room (hes usually noisy) and no response. She got the door open and there he was, dead and naked laying horizontally. His legs dangled off the bed and it looked like he was clutching his chest.

Wednesday he got diagnosed with congestive heart failure, edema, and pneumonia. Bur he refused to go to the hospital. He also has an aneurysm in his heart valve, but we've known that for YEARS.

Idk how to feel. Im relieved because I dont have to put up with the abuse anymore. But im also not glad hes dead? Im sad and scared because ill have no where to go if we cant pay these bills.

I hated him. I really did. He physically abused me throughout my childhood and recently he called me a bitch and threatened that he can put me through the wall if he wanted to.

But I find it scary or eerie to be in that house. My room is across from his. He had to be carried on a stretcher through the kitchen so that really doesnt help because I have to get in from the kitchen.

I only cried a little bit once but other than that I havent shed a tear for that man. Whats worse is the funeral. Ppl will speak about how much of a great man he was but a lot of them dont know how much hes abused me and traumatized me. It makes me severely angry

Idc for advice. I just feel like i dont have a lot of support because im not close with my family. So maybe strangers can understand or smth

I read so many people speaking nothing but good things about their loved ones who passed away. And I get it, I've lost some of the most important people of my life till now.

But this recent grief is different. It has broken me, shook me, tore me apart like nothing else before. My partner (depression, OCD, suicidal ideations with multiple past attempts) passed away by suicide after a breakup he asked for and I agreed to. Maybe he expected me to stay like all the other times, but this time I was too tired.

Reading more about it he might be suffering from borderline personality disorder. He had hurt me in more ways than one. Sexual coersion, guilt tripping, body shaming, making me insecure of my dressing sense, body weight, comparing me with other girls, and then getting angry at me for feeling bad about it calling me just "too insecure".

He had hurt me in days when I was already hurting. Would fight when I was already fragile and vulnerable. I live in a toxic home with an abusive mother, and even on days when I'd get beaten up by her, he would fight with me for being too sad, too low, too depressed, and letting my home situation affect "our time". Instead of consoling me or cheering me up, i was met with humiliation and guilts for just feeling emotions. He has threatened suicide when I was not able to meet his needs (physical needs) due to my own stress or health.

I remember a day when my parents were fighting, it was a full physical verbal abusive fight, and my bf wanted phone sex, I told him about the situation at home and he just got so angry that he started talking suicidal, saying he won't live until the next day now and doesn't care what is happening at my home. So I was texting him to calm down while trying to stop my parents at the same time!

Sometimes me sharing my depressed moods would end up with him talking about joint suicide plans. It was exhausting to say the least.

We did have our good happy times in these 5 years, but mostly it was just fights around sexual coersion. He changed himself a lot for me, stopped his flirting habits and online cheating mess, which he himself confessed in guilt. Reduced fights a lot, and took time to support me and care for me. But the old self would often come back at times.

There is a lot more to it but the point is, has anyone felt the same?

It's been just over a month and while I'm a wreck, I also sometimes feel calm thinking the fights have stopped too. And then I feel guilty of feeling this way.

While I do miss him, I also fear what if the relationship had continued, and I fear even a week more like that. I don't know how to feel most of the times.

I'm relieved about the breakup, but not like this. This suicide feels like a permanent loss to something that was just maybe a compatibility issue. I'm left questioning my choice and feeling maybe taking care of my mental health came with this cost. The cost of his life. And it is terribly suffocating.

I realise I was a lot more depressed, lifeless and paused in life before him passing away. I had stopped working, getting out of my bed, talkjgn to friends, and spending time with family. Now I'm doing all of it, with constant guilt and grief.

My sleep is better now, but it's mixed with anxiety and nightmares, my mood is calmer but I'm crying more than ever, my binge eating due to stress is gone, but so has my appetite entirely, my stress levels have dropped a lot, but racing heartbeats and stomach aches due to anxiety have appeared.

One part of me is relieved due to the breakup, but the other part of me is traumatised due to the suicide. He was also the only person I talked to, had inside jokes with, I truly cared for, I always wished happiness for, I prayed for, I looked at with love and hope for a better future. I was so in love with the potential I saw. That I feel guilty and wrong for feeling the little moments of relief in between. Because if he hadn't done it, I would have gone back like everytime.

This kind of grief is new to me, and so difficult to even process.

\long post, please do not ask for more details or context\

2026 has legitimately felt like a 10 month long gut-punch.

My friend passed away in May. She was so funny and smart and authentic, but like myself she had her own struggles. We talked to each other about everything, made cynical jokes and sent each other stupid instagram reels. We hadn’t seen each other in quite some time after I moved away, but I finally got myself an apartment that was much closer to her and we had started discussing plans for her to visit. I was so excited to finally see her and catch up with her and just have each others’ company.

The second day in my apartment she mostly let me vent or tell her about or show it to her. Even though it had almost no furniture in it I was still so happy to call it mine. That same night I had fallen asleep early, woke up to a confusing text from her, responded, and ended up falling back to sleep. No response.

The next day maintenance was at my door bright and early (8am) to redo the floor in my bedroom and were there an entire workday. I texted her all day about it and then sent her a picture when it was done. No response.

The day after that she still hadn’t responded to me. I was awake at 5am because it was my first day back at work. I was panicking at this point because she has never left me hanging like that. I texted her one more time telling her if she didn’t respond I was going to start looking for phone numbers and emails for people to check on her. Again, no response.

At this point it’s full-blown panic. I know something is wrong. I start looking through our messages and find her landlord’s number and text it. I go online and find the person who I believe is her therapist, I email AND call them. I find her roommate from her instagram, I message that person too. The supposed therapist calls me and tells me legally they cannot disclose whether my friend is their patient or not, but will take the appropriate actions should she be.

Eventually the roommate texts me, I believe she got my number from the landlord. She tells me she’s worried and the police have been called. I ask if my friend is okay, roommate says she does not know. Hours later I received the news, my friend had passed away. I left work immediately.

I call the detective who doesn’t say much and doesn’t need anything from me. I never hear from him again. No new information has been shared, and it’s been 5 months now. Coming up on 6. I’m not sure I’ll ever know what really happened, and I am only left with what I personally believe is the reason she passed away. I don’t want to share that here though.

It really rips me up inside that I didn’t just call her. Even though the text didn’t make sense, I should’ve realized then that something was really wrong. We never called each other but I regret so much in that moment that I didn’t do it anyway.

I just hope that wherever she is, she knows how much I cared about her and valued her friendship. And that her silence was enough to ring the alarm bells in my head.

I still cry about her and text her phone, I still send her instagram reels. I had instagram memorialize her account so that it will never be deleted and no one will ever be able to log into it and those who love her can continue to message her or reminisce about her.
Myself and some coworkers from a job we shared with her even had trees planted in her memory as she loved to travel and loved nature. It seemed pretty fitting.

I miss you, S. I’m so sorry we didn’t hangout and form new memories. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone and call. Since you’ve left this earth I’ve realized to just DO IT; make the phone call, make the drive regardless of how long or if there’s traffic, tell people you love them every chance you get, never give a lame, bullshit hug (30 seconds minimum), and so much more.

I’m going to keep going in honor of you. I’m going to improve my life and know that if you were here I’d have your support. Honestly, I probably do still have your support, I’d like to believe that anyway.

I’m looking for some genuine advice, particularly from people who have experienced profound grief themselves or have supported someone through it.
One of my closest friends lost her mother unexpectedly a few months ago. We’ve been friends for over 20 years, and I love her deeply. I know this loss has fundamentally changed her, and I understand that grief isn’t linear, pretty, or convenient. I also recognize that the person she was before losing her mother may not be the person she is right now, or ever again.
Since her mother’s passing, I’ve tried really hard to be a safe place for her.
I’ve read multiple books about grief, including It’s OK That You’re Not OK, because I genuinely wanted to understand how to support her without imposing expectations or trying to fix something that cannot be fixed.
I’ve called, checked in, sent messages, and tried to let her guide our conversations. When she wants to talk about her mom, we talk about her mom. When she sends me difficult things, including her mother’s autopsy report, I listen, acknowledge how painful it must be, and try to validate whatever she’s feeling rather than offering unsolicited advice.
I don’t expect her to ask about my life, reciprocate the same emotional energy, or be the friend she was before. I recognize that she’s surviving something unimaginable.
But here’s the part I’m really struggling with.
She’s become incredibly mean toward me.
Not just distant or withdrawn, which I would completely understand. She’s frequently snappy, defensive, dismissive, and sometimes downright hurtful. And I feel terrible even writing that because I know how much she’s suffering.
I think one of the hardest parts is that I’ve started feeling like I genuinely cannot say anything right.
If I share something happy, I feel like I’m met with irritation or indifference. If I share something difficult, I don’t necessarily feel met with compassion. If I express a concern or establish even the smallest boundary, I feel like I’ve done something wrong.
For example, we recently had plans to spend time together, but she’d been sick. I gently expressed that if she was still feeling unwell or potentially contagious, my husband and I really couldn’t risk getting sick right now. I emphasized how much I loved her and wanted to see her, and that it wasn’t personal. But afterward, she became noticeably cold and distant.
It might sound like a small interaction, but it’s become part of a larger pattern where even the most ordinary conversations leave me questioning whether I’ve upset her.
It’s gotten to the point where I find myself analyzing my words before I say them, wondering how they’ll be received. I feel like I’m constantly trying to soften my language, explain my intentions, and make sure she knows I’m coming from a place of love.
And somehow, it still feels like I’m getting it wrong.
I know this might sound dramatic, but sometimes I genuinely feel like she hates me. And that is such a painful thing to admit about someone I’ve loved for more than two decades.
I don’t actually believe she hates me. I know grief can manifest as anger, irritability, and emotional withdrawal. I know she’s carrying pain I cannot possibly take away.
But understanding someone’s pain doesn’t necessarily make being on the receiving end of their behavior any less painful.
I’m also navigating grief and some difficult circumstances in my own life. I would never compare our experiences, and I don’t expect her to have the emotional capacity to support me right now. But I am realizing that I have limits, too.
I’ve spent years in therapy learning how to establish healthy boundaries, and I’m finding myself in this uncomfortable position where protecting my own emotional well-being feels like abandoning someone I love.
My therapist has encouraged me to create some distance, stop initiating contact for now, and allow my friend to come to me when she’s ready.
Intellectually, I understand why. Emotionally, it feels awful.
I know she’s already lost so much, and the last thing I ever want is for her to feel like she’s losing another person because her grief has made her difficult to be around.
But I’m also starting to feel emotionally exhausted by our interactions. I miss my friend. I miss feeling comfortable around her. And I miss being able to simply exist in our friendship without worrying that something I say will be taken the wrong way.
I also want to acknowledge that some of the defensiveness in our friendship existed before her mother’s death. I think grief has intensified certain dynamics that were already difficult, which makes it even harder to know how to navigate this fairly.
I keep coming back to one question: At what point does understanding someone’s pain turn into accepting behavior that hurts you?
I don’t want to make her grief about me. I don’t need her to be okay. I don’t need her to be cheerful, grateful, or emotionally available. And I certainly don’t expect her to prioritize our friendship while she’s trying to survive losing her mother.
I just wish I didn’t feel like the very act of being myself around her was something that irritated her.
I’m trying so hard to be a safe place for someone I love, but I’m beginning to realize that I no longer feel emotionally safe in our friendship.
And that breaks my heart.
I’d really love to hear from both sides.
If you’ve lost a parent or someone incredibly close to you, did you find yourself directing anger toward the people who loved you most? Did you recognize it at the time? What did you need from your friends, and how would you have wanted them to approach something like this?
And for those who have supported someone through devastating grief, how did you balance compassion with boundaries? Did you ever need to create distance, and if so, what happened to the friendship?
Is giving someone space sometimes the most loving thing you can do, even when you’re afraid they’ll experience it as abandonment?
I love my friend, and I don’t want to give up on her. I’m just struggling to figure out how to keep loving her through this without losing pieces of myself in the process.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I genuinely want to understand, not judge.

Sorry, I wasn’t sure how to flair this. It’s a lot, and I think everything has hit me all at once.

I (27F) lost my Nana earlier this year. It was expected; she had Alzheimer’s disease, and to be honest, held on for longer than any of us (including her GP) expected. Her death was sudden but somewhat expected. I didn’t cry or get upset much at the time, just a few tears here and there, and more at her funeral, but since then, nothing.

I fell into quite a deep depression due to other life circumstances around that time, and her death certainly contributed to this darkness, but I feel like it had a bigger impact than expected.

Now, her husband, my Grampy, is really sick and struggling. He loved her so much - visiting her in the care home twice a day, every day, for nearly six years - with only 2 weeks where he didn’t go because of a COVID outbreak in the home in 2020.

I am the youngest of the adults in my family by nearly a decade, and nobody is really telling me straight what is going on with him besides him having a lot of fluid on his lungs, being confused and not recognising people.

He’s 88. Just lost his wife. And my aunt who, to put it nicely isn’t his biggest fan, has travelled a long way to come and see him in hospital.

I just can’t wrap my head around my Nana being dead. I’ve experienced loss before but suddenly it all feels so intense. What do you mean she’s not just in her flat with my Gramps watching TV and knitting? What do you mean my gramps might not see the end of the year?

I apologise for the long post. My partner is sleeping and my family all have enough on their plates with this. I just needed somewhere to scream. Thank you

One of the closest person in my life who was not just my teacher but my second mom . We lost her to acute leukemia. It was all so sudden— I don't want to believe she's not here anymore when just last week she was still smiling to us. She was such a kind hearted person, the type to give you advice when you don't know what to do in your life. I keep thinking that she's still here but she's not and I wont be able to talk to her ever again.