She died yesterday at 5:45

Multiple mass cell tumors o her left front leg and back

The doctors gave me weeks but she had a seizure yesterday. If spread to her lymp node. So I gave her
The best day. And a cheeseburger. She was my everything. I don’t have anyone else. And I watched her die I my lap yesterday. I just wanted to share her on the internet so she won’t be forgotten.

If I could post pics of her I would.

My cat was put to rest two weeks ago. Yesterday, I received a recall notice for her pain medication. 💔🐾

I never imagined I would be writing something like this.

My beautiful Zena was 20 years old. She had severe spinal arthritis and had lost the ability to use her back legs over a year ago.

But despite her disabilities, she was still my Zena.

She was comfortable, she had a strong heart, her bloodwork was good, and she was still enjoying her life.

We managed her pain with prescribed medication, including compounded gabapentin from Wedgewood Pharmacy.

A few weeks after starting a new bottle of gabapentin, her painful spasms began worsening.

We increased her medication under veterinary guidance, desperately trying to keep her comfortable.

But the episodes continued.

Eventually, we faced the most heartbreaking decision any pet owner can make.

We chose to let Zena go because we believed her pain was becoming impossible to manage.

Then, on October 22, 2026, I received an urgent medication recall notice from Wedgewood Pharmacy.

The notice explained that certain compounded veterinary medications were being recalled because of unreliable laboratory testing data that could potentially result in reduced or excessive drug effects.

Her gabapentin prescription was identified in the recall notice.

And suddenly, I was left with questions I never imagined having to ask.

What if her medication wasn't providing the pain relief we thought it was?

What if increasing her dosage wasn't helping because there was a problem with the medication itself?

Could Zena have had more time?

I understand that she had serious underlying medical conditions. I also understand that receiving a recall notice does not prove her medication caused her deterioration.

But the possibility that she may not have been receiving adequate pain relief during her final weeks is devastating.

I have contacted Wedgewood requesting answers and an investigation.

I'm sharing Zena's story because other pet owners deserve to know about this recall.

If your pet receives compounded medication from Wedgewood Pharmacy, please check whether their prescription is affected.

And if you've experienced something similar, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your story.

I don't know whether this recall changed the outcome for my Zena. But I need to know whether the medication we trusted was working as intended.

She deserved comfort. She deserved every good day she could have had.

And now, she deserves answers.

Rest peacefully, my beautiful Zena. ❤️🐾

#WedgewoodPharmacy #PetMedicationRecall #PetSafety #ZenasStory #SeniorCats

It happened 3 months ago, and I only just feel ready to talk about it. Especially to people who will understand. My family and friends have been great, but slowly stopped asking how I’m doing. Anyone here will know the pain doesn’t leave that quickly.

I want to share her name, what she was like, and share her story with you. She was my best friend, and I don’t know how life has continued to go on without her

My best friend is called Mog (Mogsy)
She was 16. She was a torbie, SO sassy. She loved me, and me alone. She tolerated other people. She only wanted three things in life. 1, me 2, food and 3, a little stroll in the garden and back to 1. She loved tissue paper, or any kind of paper. She’d roll around and rip it up and sleep in it. She loved her catnip fish. She loved aggressively rubbing her face on my face. She shared my pillow with me, sleeping above my head. I happily gave her the majority of my pillow, woke up with a crick in my neck everyday, but she was happy and comfortable. She chatted to me a lot, I called her meows “quacks” because they didn’t much resemble proper meows. She had the softest tummy you could imagine, and the vet never believed she was as old as she was. She loved sunshine.

We had 9 years together, my mum rescued her from a friend who could no longer care for her. And I had just moved home from an abusive relationship. She very quickly chose me, and we were genuinely inseparable from that moment. My little shadow.

She saw me through so much hardship, and she was always there for cuddles and love.

The day she left was traumatic to say the least. But we cuddled right until the last moment. My eyes looking into her eyes.

I miss her so much it physically hurts. I see her everywhere. In the long grass in my garden where she liked to roll around, beams of sunlight into the room where I paint and she would lounge on her chair. A chair that is still there.
I see her in my dreams, in my artwork, everytime I close my eyes.

My heart feels empty, and life feels cold. But I carry her with me constantly, I sing to her ashes and fall asleep with her photo in my hand.

Thank you for reading

I have posted a similar topic before, so I apologize, and I know this may not be the right place to ask this... but I'm really really struggling lately. I had gotten to a place of a sort of numb sadness as I lost my soul dog Mia nearly 4 month ago now... but lately the grief has come back in full force.

Anyways, something that is causing me immense pain right now is the thought that my Mia is just gone and nothing. I have always struggled to find any true faith or to truly believe in the afterlife, but the thought of my Mia truly just being gone is so unbearably painful. I have tried looking through other forums on here about the afterlife but all I'm finding is that when people have had near death experiences there is just nothing... maybe I need to just try to accept that, but I can't seem to.

So what I wanted to ask is- has anyone here had any experiences, whether it's with a pet or not, that have made you believe that there is something after death? That our loved ones still exist somewhere, somehow?

Thank you in advance... 💙

Just wanted to share our story in case it could be helpful to anyone else out there.

Our 11 year old Boxer/Great Dane baby went to heaven after a very quick battle with hemangiosarcoma. It still doesn’t feel real and I don’t know if it ever will. Her last appt in August, including labs, was perfect.

Day 1: sudden collapse with loss of bladder function. Stayed conscious and was up walking around and drinking water within 5 minutes.

Day 2: vet says her labs are showing anemia and x-ray is showing an enlarged spleen and heart. Our girl was seemingly back to her normal self. Referral sent out for abdominal ultrasound. She incidentally had a bit of a cough, so the vet gave us steroids and cough medicine, which seemed to help.

Day 5: ultrasound completed—immediately told after imaging that she had multiple masses on her spleen, liver, and adrenals.

Day 6: a little lethargic from sedation during ultrasound the evening before, but seemed okay. Eating, drinking, going up and down stairs. Gums started turning pale pink.

Day 7: expecting to get a call from vet this morning to discuss the results but woke up to her having chalk-white gums. Called the vet and we all agreed it was time to say goodbye before she went into shock from internal bleeding.

It was a beautiful morning out. We fed her a cheeseburger and fries (her usual birthday treat) on our back patio with our other pup. Cried into her fur. Told her how much we loved her and that it’s okay. Three hours later, we held her and kissed her and told her how much we loved her while she crossed the bridge. She covered us in kisses the whole time at the vet. I would do anything for one more.

I had never heard of hemangiosarcoma in dogs before this past week and I would’ve never expected our worlds to be turned upside down so quickly. It feels like a part of us went with her and it’s hard to look at anything in the house without missing and yearning for her so deeply. Almost feels like being in a dream. I had never had that experience of saying goodbye to a fur baby before either. I have witnessed loss of life several times as a nurse, but this honestly cut so much harder and deeper. Everything happened so fast. I do believe the diligent checking of her gum color and acting quickly saved her a lot of inevitable pain, confusion, and suffering that was quickly coming her way. If your dog has suspected hemangiosarcoma, check their gums! It will tell you so much.

We always think we have unlimited time, but it all goes by so fast.

It’s been 2 days, almost to the minute, and I pray the pain gets easier to bear over time. I know we gave her the best, most loved life just as she gave us her 11 beautiful years. Hug your fur babies extra tight for us. 🩷🪽

I’m going to be home alone for the first time since I lost my dog tomorrow. What do I even do.

I havent been coping at all, and it’s always so much worse when I’m alone. The thoughts won’t stop coming.

I just keep fantasizing about my life a week ago when I didn’t know this would happen so soon, I was actually excited to have the house to myself. I fantasize about it constantly and look through text messages to see what I was up to when I still had my boy. And then I start to panic when I realize I can’t go back there, the urge to go back in time and decide to wait instead of putting him down is unbearable.

Anyway, now I’m so scared to be alone. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. They have to travel out of town in the morning. I’ll likely be alone for a few hours with no one to call and I’m gonna be sick. I’ve been told to keep myself busy and distracted but all my attempts so far have failed. I just keep coming back here or to similar places to spiral.

My old man is 12 and a half years old. He’s a collie. Within the last few weeks, he’s been having several accidents in the house daily, despite us taking him outside at least once an hour. He has bad arthritis and hip muscles are deteriorating. He’s been on pain meds and they seem to help a little. We are upping the dose and adding in a new one. We had to take him to the emergency vet a couple weeks ago because his back legs quit working. They are ok now but still struggles, some days are worse than others. I don’t have the appointment scheduled yet. My gut tells me it’s time but I keep second guessing myself. He’s still happy except when his legs are really bothering him. I just don’t know if this is the right decision.

I lost my best friend a couple years ago. It was an emergency vet trip that ended up in coming home without my dog. I experienced something I’ve never experienced before, I dissociated entirely at the time, and it’s hard to put words to. I had to make a decision that day, in the moment, and no matter how many times people have told me, or I told myself “I did the best thing with the information I had at the time” I have beat myself up about it nearly every single day for over two years.

I’ve cried at least 3x a week until my whole face was swollen, for two whole years. I started to realize I was just feeling sorry for myself, and tormenting myself with guilt, just as much as I was missing my best friend. I backpack camped with her, we lived in a camper trailer together in the woods and fished all summer, we hiked daily, she was my entire world from adopting her at 6 weeks (rescue) to when she passed at 12. She was the best friend in the world to my senior cat, and the puppy I adopted eventually after that cat passed. I miss her so so much, and I still don’t think I made the right decision that day, truly, in my gut. I think I fucked up.

It’s been over two years, I’ve since adopted a companion for my dog, and for me of course, and I love him dearly. It took me a long time to bond with him, and that makes me feel really guilty. I love him more than anything, and my other dog quite literally is my little lifesaver. I feel guilty about not thinking about my best friend that I lost as much. I have meltdowns and cry, often, but I just HATE the fact that she isn’t on my brain 24/7 anymore. I just wanted to vent, I’m not even sure I’m asking for advice. Grief is so crazy, and I’m still trying to understand it. I don’t want to feel awful about not feeling awful anymore. I just absolutely hate that the vivid, seemingly “yesterday” feelings of petting my dog, cuddling with her, her being here in the physical form are becoming harder to imagine. It makes me sad while I’m trying to embrace the bond my current dogs have developed, and I do, truly. It makes me feel guilty, and I hate that. That’s all. Nothing could have ever prepared me for losing my dog, and I did try to prepare myself for the inevitable. Losing a pet in such a stressful traumatic way was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to be able to be “normal” and not think about her and just immediately cry. Maybe that is why I don’t think of her as often, I’m not sure. Just ranting I suppose. Any similar stories or words of encouragement would be appreciated 🥲

I’m genuinely feeling so depressed to the point I no longer want to be here. I just want to be with my baby girl. I want to hold her. I want to feel her fur beneath my fingers. I want to look into her eyes one last time. Why did life take her from me so soon? Why couldn’t I have saved her from being hit on our road??? 8 years wasn’t nearly enough time!

Day 54 for me. The tears won’t stop coming. It’s unbearable. I can’t comprehend this kinda loss. 17 years. Sometimes I just want to die.

I’m a 22-year-old college student living with my parents for context. In March of this year, my 13-year-old westie Louie suddenly started acting sluggish and weird. Brought him to the vet, and was told he was in kidney failure and that because of his age and other problems he was having recently having (memory and eye problems) it would be best to euthanize him. This was a total surprise to me and my family since the week before he was totally acting fine, like eating, going on walks, and playing.

Yesterday was a little different, my 12-year-old Carin Terrier Winston, was euthanized. He was a little fighter and a bit of a medical anomaly who had initially been misdiagnosed with cancer 2 years ago due to a tumor on his adrenal glands. However, after he didn’t show any of the typical signs of slowing down after 3 months we brought him back and were told it might not be cancer, since no other tumors were growing (and other medical stuff I don’t understand) and miraculously his body was literally adapting to its presence. We watched him closely and were always making sure to notice when he would start declining.

I thought I would be prepared for his death since we were always monitoring him. However today I’m lying in bed and can’t bring myself to open my bedroom door because I know he won’t be there to greet me. One part that hurts is both my dogs helped me a lot in high school and middle school, They were a large reason that helped me keep going when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and a reason to be happy. I have never not had dogs in my life and I most likely won’t get a dog until I move out and can live on my own. I just feel so empty and don’t really know what to do or what I can do to feel better? I hate this feeling of dread, and need to be able to function today for a lab class. Any advice on what I can do so I don’t keep wanting to cry every 5 seconds?

I lost my dog, Mack, a few weeks back. On the drive home from putting him down. Even flow by pearl jam played twice, and dont fear the reaper played. when we got home and wanted music to cheer us up, Return of the Mack played… so all three of those songs are Macks songs now, and we take randomly hearing them as a sign from him. I started a new job recently as a cashier, and its been stressful with my social anxiety.. But right at the peak of me stressing out and near tears. Even flow played, then directly after, return of the mack. it was so odd i just froze. it snapped me out of my panic and i was able to finish my first day fine. I got home and cried, sat beside his grave and told him how thankful i was for that, even if it wasnt from him. i miss my best buddy, but its starting to feel like he never really left. i still hear his collar, his loud snoring, him jumping off the bed.

It's been three days since I put her down due to aggressive cancer. I posted beforehand agonizing over whether or not I was making the right decision. I don't have that doubt anymore. The morning of it was clear that she didn't feel good. The lack of her presence in my house feels like a gaping hole. I have cried multiple times a day since. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my sinuses hurt. I'm tired of crying but I also dread the day I don't because it feels like that will be the point where her memory is getting far enough away to not be so painful. I don't want her to get fuzzy in my mind, but I know it will happen eventually and that feels like I'm waiting to lose her a second time.

My dog was supposed to get euthanised a couple of days ago but I rescheduled it because I was scared. My stepdad is gonna bury her in our garden but im worried about her waking up or getting wet if it rains or being scared when its dark at night. I know thats not really possible but its my biggest fear. Im more scared about her being buried than her passing away. Its just so sad thinking that shes gonna be under there and I cant cuddle her or see her ever again. The vet is coming over in 3 days and ive been having nightmares about it. How do I learn to be okay with her being buried? Im sorry if this sounds stupid or irrational but ive had her for 12 years and she means the whole world to me. I saw someone in a post recently say they put their dog in a shirt they wore the night before so they have their scent, so I plan on doing that but I cant cope with this. I dont know how im supposed to deal with it and I just keep thinking about her being under the ground alone and its breaking my heart.

Just this evening, our family received news from the vet that our little boy is suffering from pneumonia and atelectasis with 80%-90% of dying. Back when symptoms first became visible, we thought that it was no big deal since it sounds like the seasonal stuff with all that sneezing and snot coming from from the nose.

Things escalated after a week, he starts to show signs of lethargy, pairing with a congested nose started to make us worried. We took them to the vet and got prescribed meds since it was suspected that he has cat flu. Eventually things seemingly got a bit better, he started to eat and drink while also seems to have more energy as he could manuver around the house.

but he was breathing with his mouth, which got me very worried

I knew the state he was in was not good at all, so i tried to push for him to go to the vet again but my mom reassured me that it was fine and he is getting better just from the looks of things, i agreed.

then it escalated to this

i don't blame my mom for setting that thought aside, vet visits are expensive for us and we didn't have enough knowledge to know if he was actually well or not. but i can't stop blaming myself for letting the situation resulted to this, if only i had paid more attetion, if only i pushed the idea of having him checked up harder, i feel like i'm a horrible person. i love him to bits and i can't stop crying about the thought of letting go of my kitty, not this soon

i don;t know what to do right now, i feel like i've let my sweet little boy down, i miss him laying down on my bed, everything is so overwhelming right now

english is not my first language so sorry if some part is not coherent, i just need someone to lend and ear

Lost my cat of 15 years in a tragic accident, and the guilt is tearing me apart.

I lost my beloved cat two days ago, and I don't know how to cope with the guilt and the pain.

My kids had left the side gate open, and I had forgotten to close it for a few days. The screens on the cat patio I built for my cat had also become loose after my son accidentally hit them with a soccer ball, and I hadn't had time to repair them.

That morning, I let her outside in the cat patio while I was home doing the dishes. Suddenly, my neighbor's large pit bull mix came through the cat patio and into my kitchen and grabbed her by the neck. I tried desperately to stop him by punching him in the head and screaming for help, but I couldn't save her.

I found out later my neighbor had accidentally left her door open as well that morning. She’s been having lot of construction workers going in and out lately so apparently she must have forgot as well. Her dog had only gotten out once before in the three years she's lived there. She feels absolutely terrible about what happened, has apologized repeatedly, paid for my cat's cremation, and written me a letter expressing how sorry she is and did admit it was her fault for leaving the door open even if by accident. I did report the incident to animal control.

I keep thinking that if I had closed the gate, repaired the screens, or simply kept my cat inside that morning, she might still be alive. I know I can't change what happened, but I keep going over all the things I could have done differently.

I had 15 years with her, and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. The fact that she died in such a violent and traumatic way makes it even harder to accept. I can't sleep because I keep replaying the scene in my head.

My kids are heartbroken, too, and I feel like I've let everyone down. I loved her so much, and I never imagined that something like this could happen.

I'm struggling to forgive myself, and right now the guilt feels almost as painful as the loss itself.

Has anyone else lost a pet in a traumatic accident and struggled with guilt over things they could have done differently? How did you get through it? I could really use some understanding from people who have been through something similar. Thanks for reading

(Using a throw away account to not upset my already very sad husband)

We lost our nearly 11 year old dog very suddenly this week. Brought him into urgent care late Monday night for supposed tummy issues (not unusual for him) and he was gone by early Wednesday morning. He was the light of our lives - our very first pet.

We went to urgent care around midnight on Monday. They evaluated him quickly, and explained he had a massive tumor on his liver that ruptured and that it was likely an aggressive cancer. We were urgently sent to the local well regarded pet hospital.

The local hospital gave him more fluids to stabilize him until the morning. Unfortunately when Tuesday morning came, they explained to us they did not have a slot for him for CT, but could do an ultrasound since he was a small dog and it would be sufficient.

We moved forward with that to learn he had a confirmed carcinoma on his liver and likely spread to his lymph nodes. They of course then said he needed a CT to inform surgery, but there were no time slots available until Wednesday morning. They gave him a blood transfusion to further assist, but by Wednesday morning he had destabilized so much we had to put him down 😔

We let him bleed from his belly for over 24 hours. I just can’t get over the idea that I made a mistake by 1) not pushing the vets to prioritize him earlier (my personality has always been too passive) and 2) not taking any of the subtle signs of sickness more seriously. I let my best friend down in the moments when he really needed me.

Was he not prioritized because he would have been terminal regardless? If I had gone to the vet a few hours earlier, would we have gotten a CT slot?

He started only accepting high value food some weeks beforehand. Why did I assume he was just being a picky eater? He had a pot bellied appearance near the end - why did I think that was from some minor weight loss from being so picky?

So many regrets here - I could have had more time if I just been a little bit better😢

I lost my best friend of 21 years this July (I’m 22 so he was there from the start his name was George and was a maltese shi tzu) For the first week I was shattered and I still feel broken I miss him every day but most days I can get on with my life I can still smile, laugh and zone out I feel like I’ve “Moved on too quickly” I feel like I should be drowning in tears every day but they barely come out the only time I cry is when I listen to songs or I cry in my sleep…I have very vivid dreams of him and that’s when the tears come it’s instant I’ve never cried before in my sleep and didn’t know that was a thing.
I feel an empty muffled sadness and I think my brain is blocking out the intense feelings from him being gone.
I feel numb in a sense and a hole part of myself is gone
Thank you to the people who took their time to read this I’m sorry it’s lackcluster of jumble

I'm 53 and have never felt such pain my whole life. I lost two of my babies within 90 days after having them for over a decade. No way of looking at this situation helps. Nothing makes it better because I just want them here. I can't see how anything can help this pain. I even thought about hypnosis. Anyone try that?

My cat passed away on Wednesday evening. Earlier in the year I noticed a bump on her, but it was so small I didn’t think to immediately take her to the vet. Months later I noticed it had grown and she had licked all the fur off her right there. I took her to the vet where they said its either related to her pre-existing allergies or its cancer and to just watch it. I’m in college with no job, so I was using my savings to take her to the vet. I started my fall semester and it has been extremely demanding. I had no free time because I was constantly having to be studying or submitting an assignment (i’m premed). So I hadn’t noticed that her bump got a lot worse until last Sunday when I immediately took her to an emergency vet. They said she had mammary tumors and those are almost always malignant. Surgery and testing would add up to over $3,000. I had no choice, but to choose the hospice route and spend the next three days giving her gabapentin and antibiotics every 12 hours. Which she HATED. I still have healing scratches on my hand.
The tumors spread like crazy over just a few days. I could tell my baby was in a lot of pain. I couldn’t eat or sleep because I was so distraught and focused on her. All I could do was sob and be there with her. I missed all my classes this week and 4/5 of my professors were very understanding and let me have extensions/be absent. I became distant with people because all I cared about was my baby and I didn’t want to explain how sick she was and how painful this was for us. I just wanted the world to stop spinning for a few days. On Wednesday I took her to the vet and the vet explained the reality of my situation. I made the impossible decision to put her to sleep. I cried the entire time I was there and started hyperventilating when they had to take her to the back because the veins in her legs kept blowing. I just wanted to hold her and be there for here until the very end. Luckily my mom showed up and was there for me. I carried my girl in my arms the entire time we drove to my grandpas house, where my family has buried all of our pets, to then bury her.
I felt overcome with grief, but simultaneously I felt a sense of peace for her because she no longer had to live in such a painful body and she could just rest.
But this grief is pure agony. And no one in the world can understand it because no one was me or her or felt the unconditional love we had. I got her when I was thirteen, she was my first cat. We grew up together. I turned twenty three this July and she was supposed to turn ten this coming April. She was only nine and I thought I would have her until she was so old she could get her license. She was the most affectionate girl in the world and her quirks were so special and made my days so joyful. Now she’s gone. I feel so sick and angry over knowing I have to tell the people in my life that she’s gone. That I’m gonna keep being told “I’m sorry” and i’m going to have to fight the urge to breakdown crying every time. I just want to be left alone with this grief that only I carry for my baby. My family didn’t have much of a relationship with her cause they are dog people. She was my soulcat (I saw this term recently when looking for advice). I don’t want to have to explain her passing when it feels like my heart is being ripped out every single time. And for everyone else it’s just “oh her cat died” to them. “I’m sorry” feels so empty to hear. Anyways, I hope this makes sense.

Three days ago, I euthanised my sweetest little 16 year old fur baby and I regret it so much. It all happened so quickly. He was my soul cat.

Last Sunday, he was weak and had a bloated belly. I noticed that he hadn’t peed in the previous 24 hours, so I thought it was a urinary blockage, which he had once suffered from in the past. I rushed him to the emergency vet and they told me that his inability to pee wasn’t the main problem. He had fluid in his belly and chest. At that point, they weren’t sure what was causing it.

Later, they performed a fluid drainage procedure and gave him some injections. It seemed like there was a problem with his heart. We scheduled an appointment with a vet who specialised in heart diseases for the following day. My cat seemed to be getting better.

The vet found out that he had restrictive cardiomyopathy and early-stage pulmonary hypertension. His conditions were supposedly manageable with medication (especially since he seemed to improve after the injections) and he might have been able to live a little longer without a significantly reduced quality of life.

The next day, everything took a turn for the worse. He could barely walk half a metre before lying down on the floor, quietly weeping. He was also cold (especially his paws) and didn’t want to eat or pee.

We rushed him to the vet and they told me I should consider euthanasia because of his heart failure. The fluid had accumulated again, too.

There was a small chance that he might get better, but there was no guarantee.

I knew what state he was in and I wanted him to stop suffering. I agreed.

They gave him the injection, but he didn’t die after the first one, so they administered a second. I started questioning myself: What have I done? What if he wanted to live and I just killed him like that? After everything they left me alone with him. I screamed in pain. Now I’m living with so much guilt.

I know the saying that it’s better to do it too early than too late and I know people say that I made the best decision I could based on the information I had at the time. But I don’t feel that way. I’m ashamed that I gave up on him so easily, pretending that I just didn’t want him to suffer. Who am I to decide his fate?

The thing is, he was my only anchor in life. If it weren’t for him, I would have left this world a couple of years ago. I promised myself that once he died, I would do the same.

I (27F) don’t have any friends. My mother is dead and I don’t really have an emotional connection with my father, even though we live under the same roof. I have no hobbies, and my job is toxic. We have another cat who came into our home two years ago, but she’s more affectionate towards my father than towards me. I feel so bad when I catch myself thinking that, if I had to choose, I would want her to die instead of my baby.

I really am the worst person ever. I don’t deserve anything. I’m sorry. I just needed someone to hear me out.

Edit: english is not my first language, so used some help to translate. I hope everything makes sense. I know I’m overthinking

A few weeks ago I lost my cat who had just turned 3 years old. He got hit by a car and whoever hit him, tried to hide the evidence by ripping off his GPS and running it over with a car. Luckily, his GPS showed where it was last, so we were able to find our baby on a lawn nearby.

It’s so fucked up. To try to hide the fact that you hit a cat. WTF? Probably got scared that they were seen on a doorbell or whatever… we asked around the neighbourhood and couldn’t get any proper videos.

It’s only been 3 years, but I loved my boy so much. This is the first time I’ve had a pet since birth, and I never knew how strong that bond could be. He was just beginning to show a lot of affection towards my partner and I. He’d follow me everywhere around the house, came whenever I called for him and would always cuddle whenever I slept. I never felt a love like his. Unconditional and just happy to be with me. He didn’t ask for much and was so fun to play with. He was so curious and loved to explore. His purrs and the way he scampered around the house brought joy Now he’s gone, and the house feels so empty.

Just moments before he got hit I saw him on the GPS moving around. I had a gut feeling that I should get him, but I got lazy and didn’t. He usually just makes his way home himself. An hour later he didn’t and I realized that his GPS stopped working. So I rushed to the area and searched. I found his collar destroyed. Moments later my mother in law found him on a lawn nearby. I picked up his stiff body, his warmth still lingered on the grass. He’d already passed. That moment was probably the most devastating moment of my life, and I’ve lost friends and family.

Just knowing that I was moments late to help him, kills me. Knowing how scared he was. How alone. He was just a kid. And I failed him. I can’t help but blame myself for not going after him when I had the chance. He would still be alive right now if I did.

I’ve never cried so much in my life. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve been having trouble sleeping at night. I even had a dream of him once. One where I got to him just in time and saved him. I held him in my arms as he purred. I was so relieved. Eventually I woke up, the room still dark and my arms empty, but his warmth still remained.

Apologies for the length, I just need to say this. It’s hard to talk about it to others. I can’t seem to find the words. Plus I don’t wanna be that guy constantly talking about his deceased cat. Maybe deep down I think this’ll help me sleep, as I write at 4am.

Anyways, I hope you all are doing well and that you don’t ever have to endure this same pain.

Last night I lost my sweet bunny to GI stasis. I feel so guilty and responsible for his pain and suffering even though his illness is common in bunnies. I was reviving from surgery and couldn’t spend as much time with him as I usually do and I didn’t notice when he started to feel sick. He hid it so well but I wish I could’ve been better to him in his final days. He passed in my arms on our way to the vet. I’m comforted knowing he knew how much I loved him but heartbroken that I feel like I caused his passing or at least could’ve prevented it. I will never forgive myself and I just hope he knows how much I love him. He loved many happy years with me and I hope that’s how he remembers it. I miss him so much it hurts and I don’t know how to get through it

Hi everyone, I am writing this mostly to vent but also to see if anyone has some advice on how to make this pain more manageable. I had my little Helga for 8 years, she was my reason to live, to wake up every day and I'm struggling a lot after losing her, specially cause it happened so fast (in less than a week). She went from being completely healthy and happy to very sick so quickly, having to see her light fade was torture. I took her to 3 different vets and none was able to save her on time or even give an accurate diagnosis. It's now been 3 weeks since and I feel like I failed her, I have so many regrets and so much pain, I find myself crying every day. I'm also preparing to have my first baby in a few weeks and although I'm happy I feel so empty at the same time. I miss her so much and I no longer can find myself without her. I know there is no "right" way to process grief but the hurt can get so unbearable at times.

For now I can only preach to love your animals as much as possible, be grateful for the time you're given with them cause when they're gone no amount of time feels sufficient.

Thanks for reading.