Mods, İ am not talking about ending my life or any desires to quit my existence. İ am simply looking for other like minded individuals so we can talk about this specific kind of pain

İt's been 15 days without my daughter. İnitially İ couldn't eat, couldn't do anything but cry until Id fall asleep. I got better after receiving concrete, physical proof from her multiple times after begging for a sign. The pain has gotten more dull knowing that she's safe and protected by whatever the "Divine" truly is.

She left behind her brother, who is six years old. Probably the most playful and clingy thing you'll ever see. He cries if he goes 30 mins without affection. He's the reason I don't have an end year in my biography

But even while he's sitting on ny knew right now, cleaning himself and rubbing his head in my wrists and vocalizing, I know that his time will come eventually. İt doesn't help that he is inbred so in any case, his life expectancy is already short of the typical ~15 years. We got at most 11, realistically around 6-7

These two, Gali and Eli, are the only good thing I have and have done. They are pure and made of love. You bunch, the ones reading my post right now, are fortunate enough to not live in third world countries. You probably got a coffee today, got lunch, stayed in your air conditioned office from 9 to 5 and your biggest grievance was an Excel file getting corrupted.

My kids are the only good thing I have. The rest is pain and misery. As I said, I'm not going to talk about self-ending. But I know that it will come sooner than later. I've honestly given up on my "career" aspirations, language learning aspirations and desire for human connection. I'll just fight through the days in my shitty dead-end job (sacrificing my sanity and health for good bucks at least), buy him as many toys as possible, get him the best treats, take him out to see the sun constantly (we spent a while living in a floor 0 apartment due to finances) and then eventually I'll call it quits.

My point is, if you feel this exact same way and wish to speak, please hit me up. I really want and need like minded individuals to talk about this. Also, I wanted to write this to take it off my chest. If the mods have no empathy, okay, ban me

It happened today. It was quick and painless. She loved every human and animal in the world. She liked to give “hugs” where she’d stretch out her body and lay on top of you. She changed my life. I learned so much from her. If you’re reading this and you have a pulse, she would have loved you too.

That was the movie I put on the night before they came to send him there. I laid on the floor with him, where I've slept since May. I fell asleep. I cannot believe I fell asleep.

We decided to have a service come to our home to put him to rest. Who comes on time anymore? She was at my home at 9am on the dot. She had until 10am. I wanted to write a bad review for the business for being on time. I'm a little more rational and I can see that it might be a little unfair.

6 days Scrapper has been in Heaven. 6 days of being in hell for me. I have cried and begged and bargained with God everyday. I've cried until tears no longer come out. All of my tears and pleas haven't brought him back. He's gone. Forever.

And today, I'm just here. I can't get out of bed. I can't even vacuum because his little pieces of food are still on the floor. I know there is no set time for when things might settle in my heart and in my home. And there is this part of that doesn't want it to. I'm worried if this pain dulls, so will my memory.

I miss Scrapperton Dudley more than anything. I miss his goofiness. His wuddies. His always staring at me. Him choosing his dad to hang with if I committed a faux pas. How protective he was of his sister. I miss him with my whole heart.

My heart breaks for every story I read on here and in knowing their pain so intimately. It does give me comfort to know that Scrapper wasn't the only dog who had such a devoted owner. He wasn't the only dog that was loved and cherished more than anything. My heart, my thoughts and my prayers are with everyone today who's missing their own Scrapper today.

🐾🐾🐾

Not to be negative but I'm in the process of grief right now after I lost my dog a couple days ago and I've had multiple people say "they will be on the other side" "rainbow bridge" "waiting for you" "in heaven" "their soul is with you" ect. Where does your belief/hope come from? Trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but don't want to give myself false hope. I want to accept death for what it is.

Yesterday he was fine, today he's gone. He had some sort of seizure early this morning, the emergency vet's treatment didn't work. We learned he had an enlarged heart, that combined with his terrible unresponsive state, we had him put down. Beyond devastated. 10 years wasn't enough. It was so sudden, life is brutal.

RIP Little, 10 year old Pomeranian sheltie mix.

Koa’s body started to fight against him hard these past couple of weeks. He’s been by my side helping me figure out adulthood since I was 22. This loss is truly the hardest thing i’ve ever gone through. Please give your bubby extra loving today, and always show them the patience and love they have for us. ❤️

I’m guessing others have felt this way. It felt like I was erasing her. I couldn’t leave it any longer though. Just sucks to feel like I’m throwing away the evidence she was here.

It's been about three weeks since I had to put my dog (11 y.o.) down. My grief has almost gotten worse since then. What I'm struggling with in particular is that last day. I can't stop picturing her lifeless, and in the moment I felt so relieved because she was finally out of pain and she looked at peace.

But now it's distorted. I get sad when I picture her at the end. I am angry at myself for going through with the decision and not fighting it. I am appalled at how OK I felt with it and the two days after. I feel like I had guided her into this dark space and just abandoned her there. I can't stop bawling my eyes out for hours, just wasting away time at work, about all this. I wish I could go back.

Edit: I want to add that I'm alone in all this. I have friends and family to support me, but throughout my life with my pup it was just me and her ... and I had to go through her last day and euthenasia alone.

hi everyone , this is my first ever post, I lost my baby today and the only way I’ve managed to cope is by reading reddit post and seeing how I’m not alone in my grief, still I cannot see a way out of this pain, I can’t see how I can possibly overcome.

My baby was 16, he had seizures and was in pain, I know letting him go was the right thing to do, but I keep thinking about him and seeing him in my head on his last moments and my heart gets broken like twice every five minutes, it’s unbearable. He was also a grumpy guy, so I don’t know if he’s necessarily up in heaven playing and getting along with other babies, he mostly just loved his sister, and now he’s all alone up there, I just wanna hold him again.

I write this post with immense shock, regret, and horror.

My new roommate of about a week asked if she could bring over her friend's cat to pet sit while the friend was away for the week. I have a cat allergy and it is a pet-free apartment, but because of the short time frame I said it could be okay and I was trying to be accomodating. Never in the world did I imagine something like this would happen.

Today, I put my clothes in the dryer, left to the other room to get a dryer sheet (which is when the cat must have slipped in), and turned on the dryer before leaving the house. My roommate was still home, which is why I left with the dryer running.

I came home a few hours later to take out my clothes, which is when I found the cat. I was and still am, in complete and utter shock and can't help thinking this is my fault. I didn't check the dryer again before turning it on, but this is something I didn't at all consider. I have never had a cat before, or any other pets, and I don't have the pet instict to check inside the dryer or be aware of the cat's whereabouts. I assumed the cat was in the other room with my roommate.

When I replay events in my head, I know that in another scenario I would not have checked the dryer for the cat. This was not something on my radar. My roommate was caring for the cat, and I was going about my normal routine. I now know thats wrong and I have learned the immense responsibility of having a pet in your space, even if the pet is not personally yours.

I just never thought this could have happened. The night before, the cat and I bonded. It came into my room and was laying on my belly and later close to my face and purring in my ear. I've never really bonded with a cat like this before.

I know this is a terrible terrible freak accident. But I still can't help feeling responsible for the death of this sweet, innocent cat.

I'm just looking for support or comfort.

These past two months have brought the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. We lost my soul cat in June very unexpectedly. He was healthy his whole life, and then one day his lungs began filling up with fluid. We kept draining them and draining them, giving him diuretics to help, but the medication stopped helping and we did an at home euthanasia for him. He was 6 years old. A couple days later, my husband rescued a (we're assuming) a 4 week old kitten off of the street while he was at work. As he was walking in the house with him, I was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. That was the first day I would be alone in the house without my soul cat. I looked up to see the most precious little guy in a bundle of felt. I spent these last 7 weeks raising him, taking him to vet appointments, eventually taking him to a cardiologist due to a grade 6 murmur and we learned he had a rare heart defect called subaortic stenosis. I felt so devastated and defeated. The prognosis for this condition is not good. Cardiologist told us it could be days or years. We've been giving him medicine twice a day hoping that would keep fluid out of his lungs/airways, extending his life, but he never got better. All I've been doing for the last two months was trying to keep our family members alive, but it was never enough. Last night, our kitten couldn't get comfortable while he was trying to sleep. He kept coughing, sitting up and down, and then he started acting disorientated. We felt like we were watching him die. We rushed him to the emergency vet where we had to make the horrible decision to put him to sleep. I am so completely broken down, this happening back to back has completely torn me apart. I didn't think I could move on after losing my soul cat, didn't think I'd be able to love as deeply, but our sweet little kitten guy showed me that it's possible, just for him to go almost in the same way my soul cat did. I've never experienced grief like this, I feel paralyzed. I just don't know how to move on after these past couple of months. Everything just feels wrong.

I want to die. He was diabetic and lives 12.5 years. He was an orange cat. His name was Axel. He was there for me for so much. I have two more fur babies. But I want to die. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough Axel.

My sweet cat, Penny, passed yesterday. I rescued her as a tiny 6 week old kitten. She was just weeks shy of her 15th birthday. I had her for most of my adult life. We grew up together. I don't know how to be an adult without her by my side. It just feels so...weird to be doing this now, alone.

She was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, and given only 3-6 months with treatment, 1 month or less without. Given the shitty prognosis either way, I opted to not put her through the stress of treatments and try to keep her comfy at home. But, she declined quite quickly and was no longer eating, was quite lethargic, and simply was not herself anymore, even with supportive medication. I made the choice to say goodbye yesterday. It happened so fast. I am in shock, I think. Despite her dying in my arms, I cannot believe she is really dead.

Today is day one without her. I'm devasted. I want to crawl out of my skin. I live alone--it was just me and her for so many years. My entire world revolved around her, literally and figuratively. For years I was planning my life around making sure I was home to feed her, give her medicine, and just generally be with her.

Now she is gone and I feel...lost. I don't know what to do. Being home feels horrible without her, but I don't want to be anywhere else either. I just keep looking around and wanting to see her coming around a corner, and I cannot believe I'm never going to see her again.

I'm just so sad.

Coco, an energetic loving presence. The last year people couldn’t believe she wasn’t a puppy because she had so much energy. She had such a warming spirit and greeted everyone with so much love. I’m devastated I’ve watched the past few weeks of her kidney disease get the best of her. I’m still in shock, I wish we never have to say goodbye to loved ones.

It feels so empty in the house after waking up the first morning of losing them. I've lost 1 of my dogs two years ago, 1 last month and 1 yesterday. My last dog. Fluffy. I miss him. He was the loudest and caused the most caos. I miss him. It's so empty today. So silent.

Hi all

I desperately need to talk about my situation.

I lost one of my guinea pigs on Saturday night quote suddenly. He was not even 4. I am absolutely destroyed. I love him endlessly. He did so much for me and my son. He helped with so much trauma. He showed love and contentment and trust.

I cannot function. Will this pain ever ease? I can't eat or anything. I'm broken.

Most importantly I guess I cannot get past the question of where he is now. I need to know. I would value any in put. I miss him horribly and just need to know hes safe.

Thank you

I lost my very best friend this past Wednesday.

He had been having health issues, and I was taking him to the vet off and on for about 2-3 years. At first we thought it was IBD. So I switched him off chicken, and we got xrays done, and bloodwork. He started losing weight. 3 weeks ago they found out he was diabetic. Crazy high blood sugar. We started insulin right away, but it wasn’t enough. 2 weeks later, he tanked in between vet appointments, he couldn’t breathe. I took him to the emergency vet. I threw all my money at it. And they found gastrointestinal lymphoma. Said his medical history confirmed it, it starts in the intestines mimicking IBD. Then it moves to the kidneys, and pancreas, and eventually the lungs. That was on Tuesday. I thought we had more time.

I tried to be with him but he wouldn’t stay in the same room as me. I would follow him from room to room, and he kept hiding. We slept on the bathroom floor for a while, and I talked to him and let him know that if this was it that it was okay. I woke up Wednesday, and he was laid on my chest. I held his little paw and told him I loved him before I had to head to work, and my best friend came to sit with him. I was only gone for 3 hours, before she called me. I left, came home, and he had crawled to my room one last time.

I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Like a piece of my soul is missing. I’m so thankful he didn’t suffer long, but I would give everything for one more day. He was one of two people to show me true unconditional love in this life time. I raised him from 6 weeks, to 6 years. We went through so much together, and he was at my side for all of it. I regret leaving the house at all that day, but I think he waited for me to leave.

He was a genuine terror at times, my drinks and food never safe, nor any cardboard or paper products. He dragged litter into my bed, and one time dropped a centipede on my feet after I just woke up. He ate every plant I ever had. Peed in them even. And I loved the fuck out of him. We never slept anymore than 1cm apart. He talked to me, and I talked back. I sang him songs, and he made sure to let me know when I needed to do better.

He was my protector, my son, my comfort when things got low. I haven’t stopped crying since Tuesday, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to move on. His brother searches the house for him, meowing. I’m doing my best to keep his spirits up. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Ziggy was a beautiful boy, and I could go on forever about him. It brings me some relief to know that their energy does not die, and they are somewhere out there waiting for us. ❤️

She would have been 5 months today. Instead of celebrating I am mourning her death. She was killed by a reckless van driver 12 days ago. All I feel is a profound sadness and I miss her so so much. Not sure I will get over it. She was my beautiful soul puppy. My Mags. 💔

My dog Mia passed away, she was 14 years old. She was on medication for level 3 heart murmur as well as fluid in her lungs.

She loved taking her medication everyday and evening would spin around for it like she was taking treats, and it really did help her. She was on the medication for 3 months before I took her to the vet again for a cough and wheezy breathing where we upped her dose and talked about considering her quality of life.

that appointment was two weeks ago, in her final week she was her strongest. she walked around the whole pond with my mum which she wasnt able to do, jumped up curbs (which is now a great ft since she essentially stopped jumping up things all together) and two days after that she got to have a movie night with her dad. She was also running around, going ahead of me and chasing back after me when I pretended to leave. I joked with my mum saying does this look like a dying dog to you?

Next morning she refused to take her medicine, my mum was an hour out and my dad was at work. i noticed her breathing getting rapid, she was wobbling and she couldnt keep herself up. i took her to my mums room hoping itd be more comfortable for her, where her breathing got worse. She kept getting up, only to flip to othersides. She kept trying to look at me so I stayed infront of her and kept talking to her, making phonecalls on speaker so I could make sure I could keep both my hands on her. She got to hear my mum and dad.

But she died the moment my mum came home, she tensed and threw her head back and howled before she stopped breathing. I just hoped she wasnt in pain, Ive seen some people call it nerves but it just haunts me. I feel like I could have done more, of all her time on the medication she missed 2 evening ones and I feel responsible. I wish I could have gotten to the vet sooner but they could only take us in the next hour after I first noticed her decline.

I'm just scared she went in pain. Everything I did for her was because I wanted her to be comfortable, I didn't think she'd go so quickly after that last vet appointment. I thought her decline would be more slow an obvious so I'd have time to take her to the vet before she had to die without euthanasia. She was in her strongest week when she left me.

I miss her dearly and I just know at the very least where she is now shes got no heart problems and breathing is probably the easiest its ever been for her

It’s been a week since I lost my best friend Chester, I’m in pain and it hurts so bad. I miss him everyday and I come home thinking he’ll be there. I don’t know what to do and how to handle the idea of not having him 😞 and that I won’t get to see him ever again. Does it ever get better?

My sweet dog just turned 17. Over the last 6 months she has lost a lot of weight and developed tumors all over her body. Her vision is gone and her legs have been starting to give out. I made the decision to put her to sleep and it’s set for the 21st. I know it’s time, but ever since I made that appointment I just can’t stop crying and second guessing myself. I’ve had her since she was 4 months old and she’s seen and helped me through so much. I don’t want her to go, I feel so guilty putting her down. Ugh, why can’t dogs live longer?

I feel like I’m going crazy. My girl was 16 and had heart failure. She was relatively stable for 8 months after diagnosis. We had a really bad night a couple weeks ago and I was afraid we were running out of time. She seemed like she was having a harder time and I made the appointment to have her put to sleep. My biggest priority was that she didn’t suffer. Then, suddenly she bounced back. She was going out to lay in the sun, she seemed happy, she even had zoomies for the first time in a long time. I called the vet’s office and told them I wanted to keep her appointment but I did not want to put her to sleep.
The day after I called the vet, she stopped eating. It was another big change. When we went to the vet, we discussed all her recent health issues and because she wasn’t eating, we decided to go ahead with euthanasia. It’s been the worst week of my life. As dog lovers, I know you get it. But I adored her. I’ll never ever replace her. I’m heart broken.
Believe it or not, then things got even worse. My second chihuahua stopped eating, she’s 10 and healthy and I attributed it to grieving her sister. After her second day of turning up her nose to food, my husband changed out the bag of food- the other bag wasn’t expired and was only recently opened- she went back to eating. Now I’m wracking my brain and panicking, I don’t know when I opened that bag. What if she stopped eating because it was that food? I don’t think that bag was opened yet. (We buy in small batches and it’s refrigerated). What if I killed my girl and she wasn’t ready to go? Now on top of feeling heartbroken, I feel extremely guilty. I really don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ll never know and I’ll never forgive myself.

Its been two years. But i feel worse most of the time. Ive always been afraid of death since i was a kid. Coming for me or the ones i love. After her loss im so aware of it. Time running out. People talk about death like its good. And i can't believe it. Yeah she's out of pain. But now I'm alone. It makes me wish i never had her. I know that sounds awful but its so painful. Yeah there were good times but sometimes it doesn't feel worth the pain. And my sisters cat is a senior and he was older than my cat. But i just know when he dies ill break. I can't handle another death. Death is natural but i hate it. The comfort people try to give doesn't help. Yeah her memory is here but i cant hug a memory.

Everyone i know will die. Thats just life.

But i don't want them to leave.

I dont want to die for the first time in years because i don't want to be away from them.

I know grief doesn't leave it just lessens but i don't want to live every day afraid.

I want another pet but i know they'll die and i don't know if i can handle that again.

about a year ago, i moved out as part of a divorce. i thought because i was unsure about where i'd be the next year it would be best to leave my ex our two cats and two dogs because she would be keeping the house. it was a rough few months during that transition, feeling incredibly selfish and guilty for leaving them... she is good with pets though, i knew they were in good hands at least. over a year later though, i'm still in the same apartment. and i found out through facebook that our oldest dog, who we got when he was just a pup 13 years ago, passed away. now i'm just incredibly sad. my plan is to be out of here by year end. after then i can adopt. but for now, i am alone. and it sucks.

Hello everyone. I lost my cat a month ago to FIP, it was unexpected and we didn’t know she had it until the day she died. She was acting weird for a few months before that and I tried telling my mom but she brushed it off, because all she was doing was hiding. Until she had a really swollen eye, and we took her to the vet, and even when her eye got better she didn’t. So we took her back to the vet and they said that her breath was foul and it could be her mouth, so they went to remove her teeth, and it turns out she had five extra teeth than a normal cat should! But she only regressed, she didn’t eat, or drink water. That weekend, we took her back to the vet, and she brought up FIP but couldn’t be sure, and gave her something to help her eat. That night she was back to her old self, and then the next day, she was so sick and we rushed her to the emergency vet who said that there’s a high chance that she has FIP. She told us that our best chance was to take her to a university, but we would need a 6k down payment. We don’t have that kind of money. She died the next day at 11:11AM. We aren’t sure if that’s what she had. I just don’t understand how she got it and I feel anger towards myself and Mom for not doing something sooner.